


Reciprocity

by Simpatico73



Category: Veronica Mars (Movie 2014), Veronica Mars (TV), Veronica Mars - All Media Types
Genre: Companionable Snark, F/M, Fluff and Humor, Friendship/Love, Guidance Counselors, Hurt/Comfort, Mystery
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-08-22
Updated: 2017-03-27
Packaged: 2018-08-10 09:14:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 25
Words: 90,381
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7839079
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Simpatico73/pseuds/Simpatico73
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Early S1 AU. What happens when Vice Principal Clemmons forces Veronica and Logan to spend time together? Will it lead to LoVe? There's some snark, flirting, and fun with a little mystery thrown in.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue Part 1

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted on ff.net. Recently changed the rating to M. Will continue to update on both sites until it's complete.

Veronica had a bad feeling about this. A very bad feeling. Across from her, two seats down, sat her former friend-turned-nemesis and he was radiating anger. He stared at her intently, his murderous gaze and clenched jaw challenging her to react. _If looks could kill_ …

She tried to keep her face impassive. Though when she thought about the day's events, she couldn't help the little smirk that appeared. He caught it and his fingers tightened into fists on his chair.

At the sound of the door opening, Veronica looked up to the exasperated face of Vice Principal Clemmons. "Mr. Echolls, Ms. Mars, come in and have a seat."

"Would one of you care to explain to me exactly how _this_ happened?" He motioned with disgust to the piece of paper. Copies of the green article had been circulated all over the school and widely discussed among the student body.

"Well, Mr. Clemmons, I can assure you that I do not, nor have I ever, suffered from urinary or fecal incontinence. Perhaps Miss Mars can fill in the details," Logan turned and sneered at her.

Veronica piped in. "I have no idea why I was called in to discuss this. I had nothing to do with this flyer. But I will add that I think it was very brave of Logan to come forward to discuss his lifelong battle. I'm sure he is helping all of the other students at Neptune High who are similarly afflicted."

"Are you KIDDING me, Veronica? Seriously? You're going to deny you wrote this? EVERYONE knows you did it!"

"I'm sorry, I don't know what you're talking about. Do you have any proof? Innocent until proven guilty, Logan…"

"Okay you two, simmer down. Your little battles are going to stop right here, right now, do you understand me?" Vice Principal Clemmons was met with two skeptical pairs of eyes. "I am going to overlook this, Veronica, since, as you mentioned, there is no proof." Logan groaned in disbelief. "Mr. Echolls, I am also going to overlook the graffiti that constantly graces Ms. Mars' locker. I am _sure_ you know nothing about that, right?"

"Of course not, Mr. C."

"Right. So here's what's going to happen. You two are going to cease and desist on this little war you have going on. If anything inappropriate happens to either one of you, the other one is going to be severely punished. And as an incentive to get along, starting tomorrow, you both will be expected to spend an hour after school together every day for a month working on whatever projects I decide upon. If, at the end of one month, nothing of note has happened to the other party, I will allow you to resume your normal schedule. If your issues continue, you will be looking at possible suspension."

"WHAT?" Logan stood up.

"NO WAY!" They said in unison.

"Mr. Clemmons, please," Veronica pleaded, "Suspensions show up on permanent records. You know I'm one of the top students in my class. I can't afford any black marks on my record. I really didn't have anything to do with this."

Logan looked at her, incredulous. "Oh, save it Veronica. All three of us know you're lying. Mr. Clemmons, how is it fair that I get humiliated in front of the entire school with some bogus article and, as a follow up, get punished by having to spend my free time with HER every day, a fate worse than death?"

"Quiet, no discussion. You both need to work out your differences. Your juvenile battles are taking up entirely too much of my time and resources. I'll have Ms. James determine your daily schedule. Check in with her tomorrow immediately after school. You may go back to class now."

Both students stormed out of the office. Logan exited first and closed two doors in Veronica's face on his way out. Veronica was aghast. The joy of writing about Logan's valiant fight against incontinence was feeling a lot less satisfying now. Forced bonding time with Logan Echolls sounded like the worst possible hell. This time, her taste for vengeance was really biting her in the ass.


	2. Prologue Part 2

Fuck. Ing. Bitch. Fuck. Ing. Bitch. This was Logan's internal chant. It ran on a loop in his head throughout his entire workout. With every syllable he punched the bag in front of him. He was thankful Aaron installed the boxing equipment in the home gym before his last movie. After what happened at school today, Logan was especially motivated; he found an old picture of Veronica, taped it to the punching bag, and let loose.

In the picture, Veronica was laughing and blushing, all wide smile and white teeth, long blonde hair and pink headband. Probably something Lilly had said about sex or maybe even sex with him. Logan remembered taking the photo and thought at the time it captured her innocence.

He could never bring himself to throw away his pictures of Veronica, even after everything. When he was being honest with himself, his excuses for declaring war on her last year were becoming increasingly flimsy. He knew he acted out after Lilly died and recognized that he directed a lot of (misplaced?) anger at Veronica. It was something he didn't let himself think about too much. It was easier to attempt to ignore all of the shades of grey that colored their codependent animosity-fueled relationship.

He preferred to let their current dynamic play out, each trying to one-up the other. Over the last couple of weeks, after the cock bong and headlight incident, their pranks seemed less mean-spirited, lacking the venom of their earlier exchanges. Today, however, he was royally pissed. After explaining all morning that the article was a joke and that he did NOT in fact wear adult diapers, he was sentenced to thirty days of indentured servitude with the bitch herself.

After an hour of precisely aimed punches, there was no feeling left in his arms. Of course, Logan would never actually physically hurt a girl. But taping up Veronica's picture helped him focus. It's too bad he didn't have a current photo of her with her whacked-off hair, miniskirt, and thrift store combat boots. He might have been able to go another ten minutes if he had the latest version of Veronica to provide inspiration. In fact, he could think of another use for a current photo that would inspire him to do something else entirely but he had to remind himself to stop. those. thoughts. immediately! No good could come of fantasizing about Veronica Mars.

Upon further reflection, he decided that he really needed to get himself laid. He was going to shower and call Michelle. She was all over him at lunch today and he knew she was up for it. Also she was brunette, not blonde. Tall, not short. Sweet, not smug. Dumb, not smart. She was perfect.

* * *

"Veronica, is that you?" Keith Mars' voice called out from his office.

Veronica peeked her head around to see him. "Hiya, Pops. How's tricks?"

"I think I need to up my game, my tips aren't as good as they used to be."

"Well, that makes sense. You aren't getting any younger. Maybe you need to incorporate some daily stretches to increase your flexibility."

"Funny. But seriously, how was school?"

Veronica thought about telling him about the meeting with Clemmons. But that would upset Keith and Veronica was always reluctant to evoke his disapproval so she went with her typical response. "It was great, pa, the most popular boy in school declared his love for me in the middle of the quad and it was oh-so romantic," she put the back of her hand against her forehead and swooned dramatically.

"That's great honey. Glad to hear it. But since you give me that answer every day, perhaps today you can try a different response. Like the truth."

Veronica rounded her desk and sat down. "Well daddy-o, glad you asked. Because today your daughter was asked to tutor a less academically gifted student. I was told it would look great on my college applications so I agreed. Only problem is it'll be for an hour every day after school for a month. Can I make up the missed time at the office on the weekends?" _Please say yes…_

"Of course. I know extracurriculars are important and I don't want this job to stand in the way of your admittance into the esteemed Ivy League institution of your choice. Feel free to tutor your heart out. I'll be able to make do without you for an extra hour a day. I'm glad to see you're putting yourself out there at school, it's been a while."

"Yeah, dad. I'm a real joiner. My tutoring gig starts tomorrow. Now about the Magill case, do you need me to stakeout the Camelot tonight?"

Keith looked sheepish. He hated that Veronica was dragged into this tawdry business but they both knew they needed her help to pay the bills. "Yes, I think so, honey. I have to follow a lead in San Diego and I will probably be late. Just make sure to take Backup and bring your taser."

Veronica was contemplative. "Ah, I wonder how many thousands of daughters are hearing the same sage advice from their fathers right now."

"Well, those words have been passed down through the ages for a reason, honey. Be careful, I love you," and with that he kissed the top of her head and went off after the latest bail jumper.

* * *

Mr. Clayton Magill, 49, multimillionaire CEO and founder of his own biotech company, enjoyed illicit trysts with young strippers. His gorgeous 28 year-old trophy wife Brittany came to Mars Investigations last week with suspicions that her husband was having an affair. It didn't take long for Veronica to find Mr. Magill. He drove an Escalade with anonymous vanity plates (Magill1) and parked right-smack-dab in front of the Camelot every Monday and Wednesday following a trip to the Seventh Veil to pick up his flavor of the night.

Veronica had already photographed him with a red head and a blonde and could have stopped after the proof she garnered of those two affairs. But three infidelities in eight days had a nice ring to it and may help Brittany beat the prenup. Tonight it was a dark haired beauty. While she waited for them to open the door so she could get the money shot, her mind wandered to the place it usually did when she was alone and bored on stakeouts.

Logan Echolls. Ugh, why did she even bother with the incontinence article? Juvenile? Yes. Fun as hell to write? Yes. And the priceless look on Logan's face today when he saw it? Yes, yes, and more yes. The most fun she had lately was pissing him off. He deserved it after filling her car with marshmallows last week. She was still finding them stuck behind her seat and in her glove box.

Now she was going to have to play nice; there was no way she was going to risk a suspension. But what, exactly, did playing nice with Logan entail? And why did it make her stomach flutter just a little bit when she thought about it? Tomorrow should be interesting, she thought, ninety percent of the time we want to kill each other and the other ten percent, we - umm - and she couldn't think of the right word to complete the thought.


	3. Day 1

**Day 1**

At 2:55 p.m., Veronica looked in the mirror and willed herself to prepare for battle. Only five more minutes until the dreaded bell rang and she was to report to Rebecca James' office to do God-knows-what with Logan. Of course, she couldn't battle with Logan properly until she fixed her hair and reapplied her lip gloss. As Lilly used to say, no self-respecting teenage girl should face an enemy without looking her best. _Oh, Lilly. What would you think if you could see us now?_

Logan had been sneaking glances her way all day; by her locker, going to physics, all through lunch, and before Spanish. His looks lacked the usual disdain that graced his face - he seemed almost as unsure about the latest turn of events as she was. Her day, in fact, had been blessedly drama-free. There was no damage to her locker, no snide comments from the '09ers, and her beloved LeBaron appeared to have been left in the same crappy condition as it was when she parked it that morning. Over the last year, Veronica had taken to checking on it a few times a day since it seemed to be one of the '09ers favorite targets. She assumed Logan told his minions to leave her alone for the next thirty days and, predictably, everyone obeyed their leader.

She sighed and took one last look at herself. Not bad, she thought. She was wearing her favorite kick-ass black boots, olive-green mini, and layered black over white tank tops. Her hair was down, California blonde layers framing her face. She felt fierce. She was ready.

A few minutes after the bell rang and she dropped some things off at her locker, she went to Ms. James' office. Logan was already sitting there, slouching, in one of the two chairs that faced Ms. James. Veronica gave a quick knock and entered.

Ms. James smiled. "Veronica, please, come in."

Logan turned and gave her a once-over then, affecting disinterest, turned back to face Ms. James as Veronica took the seat next to him.

"Well, you two, Mr. Clemmons has asked me to oversee your after-school activities for the next month. He and I have discussed some possibilities for how you can best spend your time together in a constructive way that will hopefully lead to a permanent change in behavior. Today you will be cleaning out the supply closet in the art department. But before you get started with that, I thought it would be a good idea to do an exercise to break the ice."

Logan scoffed. "So, Becky, like…what is this? Some kind of couples counseling?"

"It's Ms. James, Logan, and in a way, yes… it is. You two obviously have deep feelings for each other. Perhaps with my help you will be able to confront those feelings and move past the negativity." Veronica gave a sidelong glance at Logan who was busy pulling the sleeves of his shirt down over his hands.

_Is this really my life? I am in mandatory couples counseling hell with Logan Echolls._

"Now, I understand that you were both quite good friends at one point, correct?" Veronica and Logan both looked down and murmured their assent. Ms. James continued. "Great, so I am going to start you off with an easy one. I want you to turn your chairs to face each other."

They both did as instructed and there was about four feet separating them. "Okay, so I just need you to move your chairs a bit closer so that your knees are touching."

Veronica was reluctant. "Is this really necessary Ms. James? I mean, honestly, you think our problems are going to be fixed by having our knees touch?"

"Veronica, just try it. We'll do different variations of this exercise over the next month." Logan moved his chair closer and sat with his knees just barely on the outside of Veronica's. "Okay, that's it. Now all I want you to do is to look into each other's eyes for one minute." _Oh no_. _No no no no no_. "I will watch the clock. You're not allowed to look away. If you do, l'll reset the clock. Ready? Okay starting now."

_You can do this, Veronica. Be strong. Show no emotion. Oh my God. OH MY GOD are there even words to describe how awkward this is? Do not look away. Do NOT think about his eyes. Fuck! Were they always this… beautiful? A little lighter than chocolate with some flecks of gold. Wait…what is he doing? The way he's looking at me…. it's like... sort of like how he used to look at me when we were friends but different. Knowing. And his lips are starting to curve, that smug bastard. Maintain hard stare. Poker face on. Do not-_

"Time's up. Very good you two." Veronica let out the breath she'd been holding in for the last minute and saw Logan do the same. Ms. James gave them the instructions for cleaning out the art supply closet and sent them off to get started.

* * *

Logan was sorting paper into groups by color and trying to figure out what to say to Veronica. His anger over her practical joke had dissipated since yesterday, largely due to Michelle's impressive oral performance the night before. _She could really deep throat with the best of 'em…_

He thought about the totally insane situation he and Veronica found themselves in. And how surreal it felt to be required to stare at her. He wished it could go on for longer; he never got the chance to really study her now, except for a few quick glances every day. She was always walking away somewhere, seemingly busy with something critically important, or chatting with that basketball player friend of hers. And he could never check her out in school anyway or he'd risk her catching him. He remembered looking into her eyes in Ms. James' office and feeling his heart pound so loudly he could hear every beat thundering in his ears. And thinking how impossibly blue her eyes were. And how hot she was (even though he tried to think about anything BUT that). And how much he missed having her as a friend.

_Honestly? Is that what I'm going with? I just want her back in my life as a friend?_

Veronica had her back turned to him, standing on a step stool since she was all of five foot nothing, doing something with the paints. _What the fuck is wrong with these art kids? This closet is a disaster._

"So, Nancy Drew, are you just going to spend the next thirty days ignoring me?"

"That's the plan."

"Yeah, good luck with that. Like you could ever actually ignore me. In fact, you seem to be quite obsessed with me. Spending time writing about me, thinking up ways to get me arrested, thinking about me late at night in your lonely little bed…"

Veronica turned, incredulous. "Good one, Logan. Whatever you need to tell yourself. I know it feeds your enormous ego."

"Well I don't know about my ego but I have been told I have an enormous-"

"STOP. Right there. Say nothing else."

"Fine. Fine. But don't pretend you aren't hyperaware of me. You can fool a lot of people but you forget, Veronica,…I know you." _Plus I can't be the only one of us who is hyperaware of the other one._

"You have absolutely NO idea who I am anymore. And that's the way we're gonna keep it. We're nothing to each other."

Logan raised his brows. "We are a lot of things to each other. Nothing is definitely NOT a word I would choose to describe us." She shrugged and went back to organizing the paints. He knew Veronica would do anything to avoid a suspension but the fact was that he couldn't risk a suspension either. If he was suspended, Aaron would probably take away his car for good and that outcome was unthinkable. "Look, I just think we need to make the truce official and all. So, I'll be the bigger person and start. I promise to behave from now on. And to make sure all of my friends do, too."

She turned again. "You mean Dick?"

He nodded. "Yeah. I'm pretty sure he's the source of most of the trouble the '09ers have dished your way this year."

"Ah, lucky you to call him a friend. It's too bad we can't all have super awesome friends like Dick."

"And here I thought you were friendly with a lot of Dicks."

"Ugh. Really? Is that your best? Cause I gotta tell you, it sounds like your heart isn't in it anymore."

Logan smirked. "Maybe it isn't. Sorry, old habits… So are we agreed on the truce then?"

"Fine, I agree. No more pranks. We'll leave each other completely alone." _Will we?_

He smiled. "So you don't have any more embarrassing articles you've been dying to write about me?"

"You should feel fortunate that I went with the incontinence angle. I was gonna do the whole thing about your courageous fight against erectile dysfunction."

"Well, given those two options, I guess I lucked out then. Although… since half the girls in the school know I absolutely do NOT suffer from erectile dysfunction maybe that would have been better."

Veronica turned back to the paints and busied herself. _Wait, was she blushing..?_ After she finished with the paints, she moved onto the glue which was a disgusting mess. Logan finished up sorting the paper and then began organizing the markers. It was going to take a hell of a lot more time than one hour to clean this closet. He wondered if they would be back tomorrow to finish. Just then Veronica's phone rang. It was impossible for him not to overhear since she stepped right outside the closet to talk.

"Hi, dad."

"Yep, tutoring's going well." _So she told Mr. Mars she was tutoring, huh?_

"Ha ha. Actually," and she glanced back at Logan pointedly, and whisper-spoke, "he's not the sharpest knife in the drawer. This tutoring may be more difficult than I thought." Logan rolled his eyes, balled up one of the newly organized pieces of red paper, and threw it at her.

"Okay, let me write that down. Uh huh, Yes. Make and model? Color and license?" Veronica busily scribbled down whatever her dad was telling her. "Okay, dad, I got it. Yeah I'll stakeout the Camelot tonight. No, no, don't worry, I'll be fine. Okay see you on Thursday. Love you too."

_What the fuck? Today was Tuesday so that meant Veronica would be at home by herself for two days? AND she was doing stakeouts at night? By herself? What kind of poor excuse for a father let his teenage daughter do that? It sounded completely unsafe. What, exactly, did Veronica Mars' new life consist of?_


	4. Day 1 - Part 2

**Day 1 - Part 2**

When Veronica ended her call to return to her glue stick organizing and cleaning duty, she noticed Logan giving her an odd look that she promptly ignored. There was no way she was going to allow Logan to bait her into any more conversation today. She had already spoken to him way more than planned and was mentally chastising herself for not keeping silent. She checked her watch. Only a few more minutes until this uncomfortableness was over. Apparently, Logan was thinking the same thing, since he was shockingly quiet and seemingly deep in thought.

After school, Veronica went straight to Mars Investigations to pick up the file her dad left for her concerning tonight's stakeout. A Michael Hastings had employed her dad because he was concerned about his wife, Shannon. She was spending a lot of time outside of work with a young, attractive male co-worker named Adam Diehl. She claimed they were both on the same client management team and regular dinners out were with the client but she was cagey about her phone and text messages.

Last week, her dad followed the two of them to one of the fanciest restaurants in Neptune, Da Marco, where they did indeed eat with business associates. After dinner, the two had left together and Mrs. Hastings dropped her studly co-worker back at the office where his car was parked. So far, Keith hadn't been able to find any evidence of an affair but he wanted Veronica to check out the Camelot tonight in case they showed up. Armed with photos of both Shannon Hastings and Adam Diehl, as well as their vehicle information, Veronica went home to take Backup for a walk on the beach.

After an hour spent playing with Backup at Dog Beach and watching the waves to decompress, Veronica headed back to her apartment for some macaroni and cheese and homework. At 8:00, she grabbed her taser, camera bag, messenger bag with Physics text book, a bottle of water, and Backup and headed out to park in the street in front of the Camelot, her home-away-from-home. As she pulled up and parked, she noticed two cars in the parking lot matching the description of Shannon Hastings' and Adam Diehl's vehicles. After a quick verification of the license plates, Veronica was both excited to have found something to help the case and disappointed that she wasn't there earlier to snap some photos when they arrived. _It's going to be a long night. Followed by a long school day tomorrow. Followed by a words-can't-describe-how-awkward hour "bonding" with Logan. Time to go to my happy place -Only two more years till college-Only two more years till college-Only two more years till college._

The Camelot lot was pretty much empty this Tuesday night except for the two cars Veronica was watching. It wasn't difficult to figure out that their room was on the ground floor, right in front of where the cars were parked, because it was the only room with a dim light on. Veronica had a clear shot of the door and slunk down low in her seat with her camera ready. Around 8:30, she was cursing her bad luck because some idiot pulled up right behind her with his headlights shining into her LeBaron, illuminating her for the whole world to see. She waited a minute, figuring they would shut off their lights and exit their car but to no avail. She gave a quick peek into her rear view mirror and froze.

_Oh no. Oh dear God no. This has got to be some sort of sick joke. I do not see Logan Echolls parked behind me in his jackass yellow XTerra with a smirk on his face. That asshole! He must have heard me on the phone today. But why is he here?_

Veronica pulled her cell out of her bag and dialed a number she hadn't used in over a year.

"Why, Veronica Mars, I can't believe you still remember my number. So nice of you to call. Is there anything I can do for you?"

"Yes, you jackass," she hissed. "Number one you need to turn off your headlights immediately." Logan complied. "Number two, you need to haul yourself out of here RIGHT NOW. Go back to your mansion and movie star life, Logan. This is no place for you."

"Oh, how sweet. You're worried about me."

"NO I AM NOT. The only thing I am WORRIED about is you calling attention to ME when I am trying to work. This is my JOB. Go home now."

Logan audibly exhaled into the phone. "God, Veronica, I don't think you're safe in this part of town by yourself. There's like… gang members on the corner. "

"I know those gang members. They look out for me. I'm FINE. MORE than fine. And you are leaving NOW!"

"No way. I'm staying as long as you are."

"I have a 100 pound pitbull and a taser that say otherwise."

"I don't think we can be honest in couples counseling when I don't even know what my other half is up to at night. Perhaps that would be a good topic to discuss tomorrow with Counselor Becky."

"I swear to God, I'm-"

Just then a car pulled up across the street that blocked Veronica's view of the door. "Oh no, I need to go." Veronica threw her phone down and reviewed her options. If she pulled into the near-empty lot, she'd risk being seen. If she snuck around to the side of the building and crouched down, she could hide effectively but it was uncomfortable as hell to squat down by a bush and wait for what may be hours. Groaning, she shoved her camera and taser in her bag and set off to find a hiding spot.

She heard it before she saw it. Logan's XTerra screeched into the lot and parked two spots down from the Hastings and Diehl cars. It was actually in a perfect position to view the room. She looked up to Logan, who was motioning for her to open the passenger door.

"Will this work?" he asked, sincere.

"Um, yeah. I just gotta…" Veronica motioned to the backseat. Logan nodded and watched her climb into the back. _He'd better not be looking at my ass…_

"I look like a douchebag sitting up here by myself. I'm coming back, too."

"Fine. But don't talk to me. I am SUPER PISSED at you for crashing my stakeout." Veronica got into position with her camera poised. Logan sat on the far side of the seat, watching her.

"Well, you may be pissed, but at least you're safe. And I have tinted windows so they can't see you back here. You really should be thanking me for saving your ass."

_He did NOT just say that._

Veronica rolled her eyes. "Yeah, Logan, you're a regular knight-in-shining-armor. Calling me a whore and a bitch every day, bashing my headlights, popping my tires… I feel so lucky to be stuck with you right now. In fact, you are the number one person I love spending time with. Whaddya say we hit the malt shop after this? We can reminisce about all of the fun times we've had over the last year."

Logan looked down and fiddled with his sleeves, then back up at her with a furrowed brow. "I… look I know you're right, okay? I've been doing some thinking lately about us. About my behavior after Lilly died. I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'm sorry. I know it was wrong and I don't entirely understand why I did what I did but I know it was mostly my fault."

"MOSTLY? Look,…thanks, you know, for the apology. But it's too little, too late. I really don't know why you showed up here tonight, but I do know it's going to be the last time you do this. I can have my dad help me get that message through if you don't think I'm serious."

"So you're just going to threaten me to get me to leave you alone?"

"If you're not going to listen to me when I ask you to leave me alone, then, yeah, I'm going to threaten you. Cause you're NOT going to mess with my job, do you understand? There is nothing I take more seriously than my job. That's not negotiable. We'll do our required time together for the next four weeks and we'll get through it cause neither one of us wants to be suspended but if you think our truce is in effect because I somehow feel remorse for my behavior, you are seriously misguided. I know the truth. If we weren't forced to have the truce, we both would be busy planning our next attack on the other."

Veronica chanced a quick look at Logan then turned her head back to the door. He looked frustrated and pissed off. "Okay, fine, you want nothing to do with me? Well, you got it. Get out."

"Fine." Veronica started gathering up her things again, praying door 115 wouldn't open until she was safely hidden away. But then she heard loud voices, arguing, and saw shadows with flailing arms in the room. The voices were getting increasingly louder and as she opened the door, Logan grabbed her hard by the arm and pulled her back into the car.

Logan appeared to be on alert, eyes wide, watching the door for danger. Veronica snapped some pictures, a few shots of the shadows, even though it wouldn't prove anything. She also got some shots of the cars next to each other. Door 115 was roughly jerked open, revealing an attractive brunette in a red wrap dress with tears streaming down her face. There was a man standing behind her in the doorway wearing only pants. He was still screaming at her as she ran to her car. Veronica captured the whole scene, unobserved by either party. Logan ducked down in the back seat next to her.

After a few tense minutes where they didn't move an inch, Veronica decided the coast was clear and opened the door to the XTerra with a quick, emotionless glimpse back at Logan, who looked dumbfounded.

* * *

_This is Veronica's life. This is Veronica MARS' life. The girl who had sleepovers with Lilly and knew every word to Dirty Dancing, the girl who drank virgin pina coladas and giggled when Lilly and I added rum to ours, the girl who dated Duncan Kane and wore pale pink to Homecoming._

_And now she is a sexy, badass private investigator. Sure, I got pissed when she refused to accept my apology and - like the idiot I am - I almost put her in danger by kicking her out of the car. And now she wants nothing - absolutely nothing - to do with me. Ever again. Well, fuck._

As Logan sat, still stunned in the backseat, he looked back and saw Veronica driving away. He didn't want her to become even more upset with him, but he also wanted to make sure she got home safely. He waited a few minutes to give her a head start then took off for her shitty apartment. It wasn't too far from the Camelot in the same terrible part of town. Thank God she had Backup. Over the last year, he'd seen her with her dog at the beach sometimes when he was surfing. He would spot her from his board and just float and watch her for a while, wondering how she was dealing with all of the '09er crap, mostly led by Dick and Madison but with Logan's unofficial approval. He knew he could have stopped them from tormenting her but he never did. And neither did Duncan.

As he pulled up across the street from her apartment building, he quickly scanned the parking lot and let out a deep breath when he spied her car parked in front. When he was about to pull away and head home, he noticed a motorcycle parked next to the LeBaron. And then he saw them, Veronica and Weevil. They were talking closely for a few minutes, sharing a few smiles; Weevil was touching her on the arm. Logan quickly pulled away, making sure they didn't see him.

_What the hell does Veronica have to talk about with the leader of the PCH gang? And why is he visiting her late at night at her apartment? They're not…they CAN'T possibly be dating, can they?_


	5. Day 2

**Day 2**

Logan woke with a groan and threw a pillow over his head. Thoughts of Veronica kept him from getting much sleep the previous night.

_Is she safe staying by herself in her crappy apartment? Does Weevil stay there with her when her dad is out of town? Are her stakeouts usually that dangerous? God, her ass looked amazing climbing into my backseat. Her skirt was so short I saw a glimpse of lacy underwear and pale, smooth thighs that-_

The alarm jolted him from his reverie. It's not as if he was a stranger to erotic daydreams about Veronica Mars, but he always tried his damnedest to steer those thoughts back to safer territory. Lately, it seemed to be a losing battle. He'd always been aware of an attraction between them. He didn't think she would ever acknowledge it, even to herself, but he definitely felt it. And now his awareness was turning into an infatuation. _But what to do when the object of your infatuation hates you with the fire of a thousand suns?_

Logan got to school early, hoping to scope out the situation with Veronica and Weevil and figure out whether they were dating or maybe just fuck buddies. Logan shook his head at the thought. _I am living in a world in which I think it's entirely possible that Veronica Mars has a Mexican gang leader for a fuck buddy._

"Duuude, you're here like way early today. Wanna go surfing after school with me and the Beav?"

"Hey, Dick." Logan turned from scanning the parking lot to greet his dimwitted friend. "Sorry, can't. I've got plans after school."

Dick nodded, shaggy blonde surfer hair falling into his eyes. "Nice, bro," he held out his hand for a fist bump. "Who's the lucky lady? Michelle again? She told Madison she couldn't wait to take a ride on your love stick." Dick made an obscene gesture toward his own love stick and danced around suggestively.

Logan shook his head. "Nah. Just got some other stuff going on. And don't ever refer to my junk again, DICK."

Logan looked back to see Veronica walking into school with the only friend Logan ever saw her with these days, Wallace… something.

"Wow, Ronnie. Nice outfit. Where'd you find it, Trailer Park Hoes R Us?" Dick smiled at his dig and was met with Logan's fist clenching his shirt. "Logan, what the fuck?"

Logan got in Dick's face and spoke quietly and clearly. "I told you to lay off Veronica. Permanently. And to make sure everyone else does, too. I swear to God, Dick, I am not kidding around. No one is going to mess with her again or they're going to be answering to me, got it?"

Veronica and Wallace observed the exchange with matching looks of surprise.

"Ok, dude! I get it, now let go! That was totally uncool."

Logan let go of Dick and spun around to see Veronica and Wallace heading into school together. There was no sign of Weevil, so Logan assumed he didn't spend the night. Logan knew he wouldn't be satisfied until he talked to Weevil, so he went off in search of the PCH leader, but didn't find him until just before third period.

"What do you want, white boy?" Weevil asked, macho posturing for his friends.

"Hey, I just wanted to ask you something about Veronica."

"V? What about her? Last I saw, you were bashin' in her headlights. Maybe you need another reminder of how you're supposed to treat girls?"

Logan scoffed. "What, Paco, like YOU'RE gonna show ME how to be a gentleman? Thanks but I'll pass. All the girls I know expect more from a date than a taco dinner in the barrio. Anyway, Veronica and I worked out our differences."

"Did you now? You may think no one sees you staring at her but I'm watching you."

"Ooh, I'm shaking in my boots. And why, exactly, are you watching me? Are you two like together or something?" Logan glanced away and then back at Weevil, who was chuckling.

"Aw, does somebody have a crush? How sweet. I'll tell you this…me and V have an arrangement so you better leave her alone, Echolls." Weevil smiled and pushed Logan aside so he could enter the classroom. Backed up against the lockers, Logan's mind spun while he considered all of the implications of the word "arrangement."

* * *

At 3:00, Logan made his way to Ms. James' office, hoping today's agenda included more eye staring and knee touching. Veronica entered a minute later and they both sat facing Ms. James.

"Hello, Logan, Veronica. I'm going to have you finish up the art closet today. But first, there's an exercise I want to try. Please turn and face your chairs toward each other." The two got up and turned their chairs, with Logan taking the opportunity to move his close to Veronica's.

"Oh, Logan, you don't need to be that close today. Touching isn't necessary."

"Ms. James, I really think I connect better with Veronica when we touch." Veronica rolled her eyes and scoffed.

"No, Logan. For this exercise, you need to give each other some personal space. We're just going to play a word association game for a few minutes. It's interesting to see each other's thought processes by their word choices. I'm just going to throw a random word out and, Logan, you can start with the first word that pops into your head and Veronica will follow. You'll go back and forth until I say stop. Okay, let's start with the word 'beach.' Logan, what's the first word that comes to mind?"

"Homecoming."

Veronica smiled, thinking back to one of the last nights she was truly happy. "Lilly."

"Kiss." _Watching Lilly kiss Veronica was the high point of my night._

"Champagne." _Is_ _she thinking of Duncan?_

"Pink." Logan winked at her.

"Red."

"Satin," Logan said, pinning her with a dark look. Veronica gave a small gasp. Did she really think he didn't remember that Lilly always said Veronica should wear red satin? He didn't disagree, especially now.

"Dress," Veronica mumbled, looking down at her fingers.

"Beautiful," Logan's voice was soft as he continued to look at her.

"Blonde." _Ah, she's thinking of Lilly. And she thinks I'm thinking of Lilly. No, Veronica._

"Petite." Veronica seemed shocked again. _Can't she see that all of these words are about her?_

"Strong."

"Sexy." Veronica's eyes widened at the same time Ms. James told them to stop. _Yes, I mean you._

* * *

Day two of the art closet cleanup project was just as exciting as day one. Veronica, again on the step stool, got to work cleaning the watercolors while Logan organized the oil pastels and paint brushes. Logan cleared his throat and Veronica turned to watch him.

"So, I guess you made it home okay last night?"

"Don't talk to me. I mean it. I'm still pissed."

"Oh, come on. You know you can't resist my face. I've been told I can be very charming when I want to be. How's this - Veronica, all of the girls are jealous of you and your butt doesn't look big in those jeans. There, will you talk to me now?"

Veronica held in a laugh. "Yes, I got home fine. It's just like I told you. I can take care of myself."

"Yeah, I can see that now. Last night was sort of an eye-opener. Do your stakeouts usually end that way?" Logan spread his arms wide across the shelves and leaned back, causing his shirt to pull up.

Veronica's eyes dropped involuntarily to his exposed stomach. _God, he must work out a lot. I don't remember his abs looking like that before. Those yummy looking lines above his hips… Shit, he caught me staring and now he's smirking!_

"Um," _eyes up!_ "No, that's the first time I've ever had an issue. Usually, I'm able to get the photos from the street."

Logan ran a hand through his hair and looked straight into her eyes. "Jesus, Veronica. It seems really fucking dangerous. What if that guy would have spotted you taking pictures? I can't believe your dad is okay with this. He used to be so protective of you."

"Oh NO. You do NOT get to talk about my dad. He is still protective of me. But he also believes I am competent, smart, and tough. It's nice to have a parent who has faith in me."

"Yeah, I wouldn't know how that feels."

_Do I say something nice here or do I let it go because I'm still upset that he crashed my stakeout?_

"You know your mother loves you and believes in you. Screw your dad, he's an asshole."

"Right you are, Mars. See, I think I like the new you. The take-no-prisoners, smack-talking Veronica Mars. It suits you. It's like you finally became the person you were always meant to be."

Veronica turned back to the watercolors, not knowing how to respond and desperately hoping she didn't cry. _Focus on the task_. If she could only bring her cleaning supplies from home, she could get rid of all of the gross paint smears on the cases. Water mixing with water colors was only giving her more paint and it was becoming a mess. "I'm going to take these to the sink and try to clean them there, it'll be easier."

Logan nodded and watched her leave. _Okay, what is up with Logan? Is he actually flirting with me? He's a total player who flirts with everyone. Stay strong. Forget about his delicious abs because he is a jackass who broke your heart._

When Veronica got back, Logan helped her stack the paints in a box and labeled them on the shelf. The art closet was looking a lot better and they were both satisfied that Ms. James would be happy with the result. They still had about fifteen minutes left and weren't supposed to leave the closet until the hour was up. Veronica took a seat on the floor. _Great. Now what?_

"So, I noticed you and Weevil are friendly now." Logan sat down across from her and studied her closely.

Veronica shrugged. "Weevil and I have an arrangement."

"Now that's the second time I've heard that today. What the fuck does that mean? Is your arrangement sexual because if he ever hurts you, I'm gonna-"

"Calm down, Rocky. No, our arrangement is more of a business one. We help each other out. Thanks for thinking I'm an easy slut, though, who sleeps around for fun. I guess you really did believe all of the rumors you started about me last year. So much for your apologies."

"No. I just… I wasn't sure if maybe now you were more...open to…," Logan sighed in frustration. "God, just forget it. I know you're not a slut, okay. Having sex doesn't make you a slut. And I know all of those rumors were crap." Logan smirked at her. "So, if you're not banging the sketchy-but-lovable leader of our local Mexican gang, whaddya do for fun these days? Dust for fingerprints? Decode secret messages?"

"You know me so well. That and I memorize every episode of _Murder, She Wrote_."

"Ah, that Angela Lansbury sure was clever. And hot. Sorta like another blonde detective I know."

"Did you honestly just call me hot?"

Logan looked as if it were obvious. "And I figured you'd be more surprised that I called Angela Lansbury hot. As for you, yes, I did because… oh yeah, I have eyes. It's kinda hard to miss. But unfortunately for you, I also have ears so..."

"Nice. So basically you'd just like me to shut up so you can look at me?"

"Works for me, Mars. It'd be payback for the way you were checking me out earlier. In fact I think you should lift up your shirt a bit to make things fair," Logan raised one eyebrow at her.

_Oh, shit. He definitely noticed._

"Let's just go back to ignoring each other. That was working out perfectly."

Logan laughed. "Are you SERIOUS? Do you honestly think we ever actually IGNORED each other? God, Veronica, open your eyes. We may have been fueled by hurt and anger but there was not a single day in the past year that we ignored each other. Don't you see that?"

"No, I don't see it." _Asshole!_ "I had no problem ignoring you and I don't want to talk about it."

Logan sighed. "Okay, fine. I'll let you off the hook for now. New topic - Duncan Kane. Discuss."

"Well, I don't have much input there since Duncan hasn't been on my radar for over a year. And if you're about to go for some cheap joke like getting my 'Duncan forever' tattoo erased or something, I swear to God, I will get up and leave."

"No jokes," Logan said, solemnly. "There are no remnants of his old personality left. It's like he's been taken over by a pod person and is pretending to be human."

"Do you think he's been on meds since Lilly-?"

Logan leaned his head back and rested it against the shelves. "I'm guessing so. But they've totally changed him. He is now completely VOID of personality. I know he was always noble and upstanding, but he did used to make me laugh occasionally. I would have never been friends with him for so long otherwise."

"Maybe it's time you find a new BFF?"

"Well, there's really only one good candidate and she hates me so I think I'm out of luck there."

"Nah, you always have Dick."

"It pains me not to make a joke here."

Veronica looked down at her phone that buzzed with a new text message. It was from her dad, still out of town. She read it, looked at Logan, and reread it. "Shannon Hastings has been reported missing by her husband."

Logan raised a brow. "Should I know who Shannon Hastings is?"

"She's the woman we saw running out of the Camelot last night."

_Does that mean Logan and I were the last people to see her before she disappeared? And did anyone see the XTerra in the parking lot?_


	6. Day 3

**Day 3**

The ball whizzed by her left ear. Turning, she stood to retrieve it and said, "Logan, I FEEL curious about what your stylist charges to frost your tips because, whatever it is, you're paying too much." She whipped the ball back with all her might, hitting him on the side of the head.

Logan's face turned red as he caught, then squished, the ball in his hand. "Veronica, I FEEL confused about Goodwill's pricing strategy. Is it 3 or 4 articles of clothing for a dollar? Or is that only on the butch stripper racks?" Logan tossed the ball back, waiting.

_Game on, Logan._

Ms. James was not pleased. She had instructed one of them to hold the ball and say an "I feel" statement to the other one and then throw the "feelings ball" so that the other person could speak. "Stop. You both know this isn't what I meant to happen with this exercise. I think I overestimated your ability to act civilly." Ms. James paused, considering for a minute. "I do think it's important for both of you to express your feelings to the other but perhaps you would feel more comfortable doing that without my presence. Think about making some honest 'I feel' statements to each other in the next few weeks, okay?"

Veronica and Logan both nodded their heads in assent. They were instructed to go to the cafeteria to wash all of the student lunch trays by hand. Logan stormed off ahead of her and Veronica thought back to what happened at the sheriff's department the previous afternoon.

****FLASHBACK****

"Hi, I'm Veronica Mars and this is Logan Echolls. We'd like to make a statement in relation to the Shannon Hastings disappearance and I also have some photographs that may interest you. You must be new, Deputy…"

"D'Amato. Leo D'Amato."

"Nice to meet you. My dad is Keith Mars, he used to be the sheriff."

Leo gave Veronica a warm smile. "Ah, yes. I've heard good things. Well, everyone else is out on calls so I can take your statements."

_Nice smile. Why didn't he work here when dad was the sheriff?_

Leo led them back to one of the interrogation rooms. He took down Veronica and Logan's information and Veronica handed over the photos of Shannon Hastings and Adam Diehl. After they recounted the events of the past night, Leo asked a few more questions.

"Okay, one thing I don't understand is how you both ended up at the Camelot?"

Veronica looked at Logan. "That's a great question, Deputy. Logan, why DID you show up last night?"

Logan shifted in his chair. "I, uh, I was just curious about your stakeouts. And I wanted to see for myself you doing your PI thing."

Leo looked at Veronica. "So, are you two dating then?"

_What!? Does he not see how much we loathe each other?_

"NO! Absolutely not dating." Veronica chuckled and shook her head.

Leo grinned at her. "Are you, um, dating anyone else?"

Logan was becoming increasingly agitated. "Hey man, you think you could work your pickup lines on her when I'm not in the room? Oh, and by the way, she's only 17 so you may want to think twice given those pesky California statutory rape laws."

"LOGAN!" Veronica was horrified.

"Veronica! He's like way too old for you. But whatever. I'll see you outside." Logan pushed back his chair and slammed the door on his way out.

Leo cleared his throat. "Veronica, how about you come and see me if you ever want to talk? I'm not that much older than you and, um, I think you seem a lot older than 17. Here's my number if you ever need anything."

_God, he's cute. It's about time my nonexistent love life picked up._

"Thanks, I'll… think about it." Veronica gave him a big smile and left.

****END FLASHBACK****

Logan sloshed the water around in the sink, getting it everywhere. Veronica bit her lip, hoping to get through the next hour without speaking or getting drenched. She wasn't feeling enthusiastic about either aspiration.

Logan donned yellow rubber gloves and started cleaning the trays with dish soap. He handed them to Veronica to wipe off and put on the racks to dry. They did their jobs in silence for ten long minutes, each quietly fuming. As usual, Logan was the first to break the silence.

"Are you really going to go out with that cop?" He looked at her, tense.

"I don't know. I might. It's not like I have tons of options at Neptune High with the entire student body thinking I'm a walking STD. An older guy may be just the ticket." _And a fresh start would be nice._ "And thanks for the statutory rape comment yesterday. Nice touch. Very classy."

Logan blew out a breath. "It may not have been classy, but it's fucking TRUE. That guy is what, like three years older than you? Come on, you know that's too old."

_So Logan wants approval of my dates now?_

"Sorry, next time someone asks me out I'll tell them to hold on while I check with you first. Sound good?"

"How about you just tell them you don't date?" He snapped back.

"Well, actually, I haven't dated in a very long time because SOMEONE ruined my reputation and I figure it's time to end the dry spell." _And why not start with the cute deputy?_

Veronica turned and moved the full rack of trays back to the spot by the window. They had one more rack to go before they could leave for the day.

"Hey, Veronica?"

She walked back to him and gave a mumbled, "Hmm?"

"This is what I think about you dating a 20 year-old cop." And he proceeded to squirt her head to toe with the spray faucet.

"AHH! You are SUCH a jackass." She wrestled him for the faucet and squirted it all over his face and hair. After a few minutes of laughing and fighting for control of the faucet, they both ended up soaking wet, out of breath, and still had to finish the rest of the trays.

Veronica took a quick peek down at herself and spun away in embarrassment. There was no disguising her nipples in the thin shirt she wore. She would just have to pretend it didn't bother her. _They may not be much but at least they're all mine. Poker face on, Mars. It could be worse, my shirt could be white._

Logan seemed to have noticed because he took a look at her in all her glory and then carefully avoided eye contact. He started unbuttoning his top shirt. _Why did he wear so many layers all the time?_

"Hey, if you're… cold, you can wear my shirt." He held it out for her but she shook her head. It's not like it would be much help since it was as least as wet as the rest of her clothes.

"No, I don't think it'll help. Let's just get this done then we can mop up and go home."

"Well, in that case, I'll finish and you can go. I'll say you're in the bathroom if Ms. James comes back. I should clean it up since I started it."

_Wow. That's really… thoughtful of him. Maybe he is serious about being sorry._

"Yeah, okay, thanks, I guess." Veronica started to ring out her shirt and hair.

"Will you look at me, please." Veronica crossed her arms in front and stood against the drying rack, waiting for him to speak. Logan looked serious. He tilted his head down and looked up at her with dark eyes through long lashes. "I am so, so sorry for how I treated you after Lilly died. I know I already said it and you told me to fuck off but I think it bears repeating. I messed up, okay. I know it. And I… FEEL terrible because I miss you. I miss having you in my life."

_I miss you, too. The old Logan. My friend Logan. Who stayed up talking with me so many nights after Lilly and Duncan fell asleep. Who helped me with my Spanish homework. Who showed me how to cheat at cards so Duncan would lose. Who covered for me about my mom when she was too drunk to function. Who texted me when he found a new favorite song. Who brought me treats from Mrs. Navarro._

_But I can't trust you anymore. I really wish I could, though._

"I, um, have to go." Veronica turned and fled.

* * *

Veronica went home to change before heading to Mars Investigations. She found her dad there, back from a successful trip.

"Hi, dad."

Keith came out of his office to give his daughter a hug. "Hi, honey. Everything okay?"

Veronica nodded. "Right as rain. I stopped by the sheriff's department yesterday to give a statement about Shannon Hastings. I also turned over the pictures I took."

"Thanks, can I see them?"

"Yeah, I downloaded them to my laptop. I'll put them on the server so you can check 'em out. Any idea where she may have gone?"

"It's in the hands of the police now so I don't want you to worry about it." Veronica rolled her eyes. "I'm being serious here. You are not to follow any more leads on this case. It could be dangerous. Are we clear on that?"

Veronica grinned back at him. "Crystal." She opened her laptop and uploaded the pictures to the secure server for her dad to review and got to work running some background reports for other clients.

"Veronica, will you please come in here?"

"What's up?"

"What car were you in when you took these? The angle is all wrong for the LeBaron so don't even try to lie to me."

_Of course he noticed. It isn't easy to fool a professional investigator. And I thought I could slip those right by him. Stupid, stupid, stupid._

"Well, actually, it's kind of a funny story. Logan Echolls happened to show up at the Camelot that night and I took them from the back seat of his SUV."

Keith ran his hands over his bald head. "I'm going to need a bit more explanation than that. I'm not freaking out yet but I'm close."

"It's not what you think. AT ALL. I swear. He just overheard me at school saying I was going to be there and I guess he got curious and came by uninvited. Then when my shot got blocked from the street, he pulled in closer so I could get what I needed. He did kind of help me out."

"And what kind of SUV does Logan drive?"

"A yellow XTerra."

"Really? Well, that's not going to stick out at all. Please tell me the lot was full."

Veronica looked down. She knew getting into the bright yellow car was a problem. There were probably only a handful of them in the entire state of California and likely only one in Neptune. _Yep, it's hard NOT to remember jackass yellow._

"I wish. It was empty. We were the only other car there."

"Veronica. This is serious. There may be foul play involved with this case and one of the possible suspects almost certainly saw the yellow SUV. I think I need to call the Echolls' and let them know about this."

"Yeah, I guess you're right. Will you let me tell Logan first? I want to make sure he tells his parents before you do."

"Okay, I'll give you until tomorrow morning so you'd better do it tonight."

_And I thought I'd have another day before needing to talk to Logan. What am I going to do about his apology?_


	7. Day 3-Part 2 & Day 4

**Day 3 – Part 2**

Logan lay in his bed, his thoughts full of Veronica Mars in a dripping wet t-shirt. With perfect clarity he recalled the exact shape of her round breasts, the lace of her bra, her hard nipples clearly rubbing against the cloth. He nearly needed to excuse himself right there in the cafeteria to take care of business but reigned himself in to make it through the second - and last - apology he would ever offer her.

As his mind conjured up the image of her, he took himself in hand. He'd waited long and hard (literally) for this moment of release. He pictured her riding him, looking down at him with soft eyes, quietly moaning his name… creamy white skin and slim hips slowly undulating in a tantalizing rhythm. After only a few embarrassing strokes, he spilled all over his stomach, her name on his lips.

_I am so screwed._

He couldn't recall the last time he'd sincerely apologized to anyone. For her to just run out on him after that, well… it spoke volumes. He had to face facts. Veronica Mars was out of his life for good. She would never forgive him and the sooner he accepted it the better.

_Can I blame her? But she got me ARRESTED for fuck's sake. That seems to be pretty substantial retribution. Not to mention the additional punishment my dad doled out. At what point are we going to be even?_

His post-masturbatory haze was broken by Mrs. Navarro knocking and calling through the closed door to tell him he had a visitor. He scrambled to clean himself up, jogged downstairs, and stopped short when he saw who was standing there.

"Well, well, well. If it isn't Angela Lansbury at my doorstep." Though his heart was still thundering from his orgasm, Logan leaned causally against the door jamb, the picture of nonchalance. "Miss me? It's only been two hours, Veronica. Sheesh. Some may call this a bit desperate."

Veronica tilted her head in confusion. "What happened to the contrite 'I miss you' Logan?"

"He left the building. Having his heartfelt admission go ignored tends to have that effect."

"I didn't ignore you," she mumbled. She found something interesting to look at just behind his shoulder. "I heard you. I just need time to process."

He rolled his eyes. "Yeah, okay. Let me know when you've processed. In the meantime, I'll just keep writing everything down in my feelings journal. Now, what do you want, Mars? I'm sure you have somewhere better to be, digging around in people's private lives and ruining their marriages."

"Aren't you going to invite me in?"

"That depends. You think you can keep your hands to yourself? I HAVE recently been featured in _People Magazine's_ issue of most beautiful celebrity children, right next to Kate Hudson."

Veronica snorted. "I must've missed that issue. I'll do my best to control myself. There's something important we need to talk about."

Logan led the way to the pool house, not wanting his parents to overhear. _Who knows what crazy shit Veronica thinks is important these days?_

Veronica leaned awkwardly against the wall while Logan moved to sit on the arm of the sofa. "The night at the Camelot... my dad figured out that I didn't take the pictures from my car so I had to tell him I was in the backseat of yours."

_Really? Sheriff Mars' precious baby girl admitting she was in a backseat with me at night? That must have gone over well._

"And he decided that given the uncertain nature of this case, and that one of the possible suspects could identify your car, and the fact that your jackass yellow SUV is pretty much the only one in a three-state-radius could potentially put you in danger. So, he's going to call your parents in the morning to explain everything and I thought you should know beforehand."

_Great, am I in for another punishment session with dear old dad?_

"Look, I'm, uh, sorry if this causes problems for you. You're probably going to have to drive something non-descript for a while until the case is solved. I know it seems extreme given that we don't know what happened to Shannon Hastings but…"

Logan looked up at the ceiling for a minute, sighing. "It's okay, Veronica. I'll explain everything tonight. Is that all? You can go now. Don't let the door hit you on the way out."

"Wait, do you, um, want me to help you explain? I mean, would it help if I was there? Maybe your dad wouldn't get mad."

_Fuck! Does she know about my dad?_

Logan glared at her. "I SAID you can go now. I can handle my dad."

Veronica straightened up. "Okay. I guess I'll, um, see you tomorrow."

Logan merely nodded and Veronica let herself out. _Time for a drink. There's no way I'm telling my parents without at least three shots in quick succession._

* * *

Logan moved the food around on his plate with his fork, not wanting to eat anything until he could get through his story and wait for the aftermath. If only his dad were predictable. Even after all these years, Logan couldn't always foresee what would set him off. On rare occasions, he would surprise Logan with a show of genuine concern. _Please let this be one of those times._

After clearing his throat to get his parents' attention, Logan recounted the whole tale including his trip to the sheriff's department. Of course, he embellished a bit about Veronica being in danger and swooping in to save the day, pandering to his audience. His dad definitely appreciated a good hero story. _Usually the hero gets the girl, though._

Lynn beamed at him. "Oh, honey. That was so wonderful of you to worry about Veronica's safety. I miss seeing her around here. Please tell me you two are friends again?"

With a slight shake of his head he said, "Um, no, mom. I'm not sure we'll ever be friends again. A lot has happened in the past year that-"

Aaron's voice interrupted him from the other end of the table. "Well, son, I can't say I'm happy to hear that you were at some two-bit motel in the ghetto. That's no place for you or Veronica to be spending time. But I'm glad you were able to offer her assistance and make sure she was safe. Obviously, driving the XTerra is out of the question until further notice. I'll give the auto shop a call tomorrow. I'm sure they can give us a loaner for a while until this blows over."

_He doesn't seem that mad. Thank God. Please, please do not let the loaner be a piece of junk._

* * *

**Day 4**

Veronica took a deep breath as she left the school after her hour in detention. She and Logan spent some time in Ms. James' office writing "one thing they wanted the other to know about them." Ms. James said she would have them write something to each other every Friday, seal them, and keep them all until the end of the month. At that point, they could share them with each other. Veronica struggled with what to write since Logan knew almost everything about her. At least about the old her. She saw Logan writing something down and quickly sealing it in an envelope. After some hesitation, she decided to be honest with this exercise and wrote to him while he looked on from across the room.

They were split up for the rest of the hour and Veronica was grateful. Logan was sent to wash the windows in the back of the school while Veronica worked in the front. She wasn't sure, but Logan seemed different today. He barely looked her way all day.

_I guess Logan's apology was time stamped and required an immediate response. His apology will self-destruct in 5, 4, 3…._

She ran into Wallace as he was finishing basketball practice and they walked to the parking lot together.

"Hey Supafly, you doing anything tonight?"

"Not sure yet, I'm sifting through all of my invitations. Why, you have something in mind?"

Wallace rubbed his palms together. "Yes. Yes, I do. See, there is this FINE, FINE girl in my English class and I overheard her talking about some party at the beach tonight. You feel like hittin' it with me?"

Veronica batted her lashes. "Why, Wallace Fennel, are you asking me to be your wingman?"

Wallace slung his arm around her shoulders. "Now don't go gettin' ahead of yourself. I'm just seeing what my best friend Veronica is up to tonight. It's time you had some good old-fashioned teenage fun. And no one is more fun than yours truly."

"Yeah? I totally agree. That's why you're my BFF. So, about this party… can you promise overly-muscled men in assless chaps? Ooh, or maybe jugglers?"

"No and I'm not even gonna comment on the chaps thing. But I can promise you will have the flyest escort on the beach. But one who doesn't have a car and needs a ride home now and a ride to the party later?" Wallace looked at her with a dopey, hopeful expression.

Veronica laughed. "Wait, is this party an '09er party? If so, you may want to find another ride."

"Don't think so. Jada's not an '09er and she's going with her friends. C'mon, I promise you a good time."

"Okay. I'm only doing this for you. I still plan to be home by 9:00 for _Dateline_ and a giant ice cream sundae. It's what all the hot high school girls do on Friday nights."

"No _Dateline_ tonight, Supafly. Tonight, we have FUN."

* * *

Veronica and Wallace approached the throng of teens gathered around the bonfire. Since the party was at Dog Beach, she just parked at her apartment and walked there with Wallace. Scanning the parking lot full of luxury cars, she knew the party would be heavily populated with '09ers.

"And I thought you said this wasn't an '09er party?" Veronica narrowed her eyes at him.

"Yeah, um, I wasn't real clear on the details. But you're with me, I got your back. Now let's go find the fun." He led her through the crowd. Some of his buddies from the basketball team called him over.

"Can I just go say hi to them? I'll only be a minute." He held up one finger.

Veronica waved him off. "Yeah. Of course. I'll just be here standing by myself."

"You, Veronica Mars, need to mingle. Go on now, try it."

Veronica looked around, hoping to find a friendly face in the crowd. She saw Duncan, who turned away when they made eye contact. And, oh goodie, there were Madison and Dick making out. Turning to slip away to walk toward the ocean, she ran into Meg.

"Veronica! I can't believe you came," Meg said as she gave her friend a hug. Veronica, thankful to find the only friendly face she could hope for, smiled back.

"Yeah. I was sort of dragged here under false pretenses. I may just head back if Wallace can catch a ride with someone else."

"No way. You're staying with me. I need a real person to talk to. If I have to hear about Madison's ZONE diet one more minute, I'm going to barf. Do you want a drink? There's beer in the keg and random bottles of alcohol being passed around."

"No, I'm good, thanks. I brought some water. Gotta drive Wallace home later so…"

Meg nodded. "Me too. I drove here to show Cole I wasn't pining away after him."

"Well then I guess we're just two single ladies on the loose tonight."

"Exactly. Who needs a guy to have fun? C'mon, let's dance." Meg took Veronica's hand and led her to the area where a bunch of kids were dancing. After a few minutes, Veronica forgot about her anxiety, allowing her body to take over. She and Lilly used to dance like this all the time and it had been so long since she let herself feel like this, consumed with the music, hips pumping to the beat. She and Meg goofed around, occasionally dancing close to each other while drawing admiring stares from many of the boys nearby.

Meg leaned close to Veronica's ear. "I think you have a fan."

Veronica leaned in. "Please tell me he's tall, dark, and handsome."

"More like tall, medium, and super handsome. Wanna guess?" Meg giggled as Veronica thought it over.

"No, the reality always lets you down. I'd rather have the mystery."

"Well, if he doesn't stop staring, it won't be much of a mystery."

The girls continued to dance until they were out of breath and their muscles were aching. Veronica eyed Wallace across the crowd who gave her a thumbs up and mouthed the word "mingle." When the girls stopped for a water break, Cole came over to ask Meg if he could talk to her.

"I'll be right back, Veronica, okay?" Meg asked her friend.

"Sure, Meg. I'm going to catch my breath down by the water. Come find me when you're done."

"Absolutely. One minute, I swear." Meg leaned in and whispered, "If he thinks we're getting back together, he's crazy."

Veronica gave her a knowing nod and turned toward the ocean. As she moved away from the bonfire, the sand was cold and the breeze blowing in off the water made her shiver. She found a spot to sit, close to where the tide was coming in. Pulling her knees into her chest and wrapping her arms around the back of her thighs, she made a futile attempt to keep warm. _Why didn't I wear something more substantial than a short skirt and thin top?_ After a few moments, she heard movement behind her and, without looking back, she asked, "So did you stay strong and resist temptation?"

A soft chuckle. _Oops, it's not Meg._

"Lately, I've had a lot of practice at resisting temptation."

Veronica knew the voice, of course. She kept her eyes on the infinite blackness ahead of her and said, "With the bevy of beauties surrounding you tonight, I'm guessing you won't have to do much resisting."

"Oh, so you did notice me?" Logan walked a few steps closer and pointed to the sand next to her. "Can I sit?"

Veronica looked up at him and nodded. _God, does he get better looking every day? It's not fair. Even wind-tousled hair looks perfect on him._

Logan sat close. So close, in fact, that her entire upper arm from shoulder to elbow was touching his. Normally, she would complain but he was warm and it felt nice to share some body heat. _Really, really nice. And I can smell his cologne. Mmm. Warm, musky, Logan-smell._

Logan turned his head to look at her. "Penny for your thoughts?"

_Should I share with him my internal musings on body heat and his delicious scent?_

She playfully shoved his shoulder with hers. "You're gonna have to do better than that, Echolls. My thoughts are worth way more than a penny."

"Very true. In fact, I would give a small fortune for a tiny fraction of your thoughts. You are an enigma these days, Mars."

"Who? Moi? I'm an open book." _Time to change the subject._ "So, did everything work out with your parents?"

"Yeah, they're gonna get me a loaner car this weekend."

Veronica looked alarmed and turned her gaze on him. "Wait, does that mean you drove here tonight?"

"Um, yeah. I had to. Dick's car was full and they needed the XTerra to haul the keg."

_Jackass! Stupid, stupid jackass!_

"Logan! Do you not understand? There is a woman out there who may have been KILLED by a guy who could identify your car. He's probably been called in for questioning and shown, or at the very least TOLD, about the pictures I took. Hopefully he thinks he only has one eyewitness to worry about. Neptune is not a big town. You CAN'T drive it back to your house in case the guy spots you, then he'll know who you are and where you live."

Logan put his arm around her shoulder and she could feel the warmth of his hand and his thumb rubbing soothing half circles. "Relax, it's fine. I'm not going to drive it after tonight. Just one more trip home. Don't be paranoid, nothing bad's going to happen."

She stood up, annoyed. "You don't get it. ONLY bad things happen to us. It's like you're tempting fate."

"I can think of a few good things that have happened lately."

"Good, well, you go ahead and think your happy thoughts but text me as soon as you get home. I'm going to be worried until you do. Promise?"

Logan gave her his brightest smile. "Yeah, I promise. You leaving? I can walk you back."

"No, that's okay. Stay and have fun with your harem. Wallace and I came together and I have to drive him home."

"Okay then. Goodnight, Veronica. I'll text you later."

* * *

About an hour later, Logan wanted to get home so he could text Veronica before it got to be too late. He was slightly tipsy and spent the whole drive to his house thinking things with her might not be as bleak as he feared. Definite progress had been made tonight.

_She's worried about me! She let me touch her shoulder and didn't even try to punch me._

He never once checked his rearview mirror, entirely missing the car that had been following him all the way from the beach. He entered his code in the security gate and drove the XTerra into the garage.

**From Logan 11:16 PM:**

Made it home, safe and sound. Thanks for worrying about me. Sweet dreams. :)

**From Veronica 11:17 PM:**

I FEEL relieved you made it home, Logan. Goodnight.


	8. Day 7

**Day 7**

On Monday morning, Logan figured the best way to deal with the nightmare he was in would be to arrive as early as possible for school. When he pulled into the lot forty minutes before first period, there were thankfully only a handful of cars there, mostly belonging to teachers. He took a look around and made sure no one was watching before he swiftly exited his vehicle and went to kill time in the computer lab.

As students began to arrive, he sat on the half-wall right outside the main entrance and waited, bouncing an apple off of his forearm and catching it repeatedly.

He spotted her pulling in five minutes before first period. She had just parked when he suddenly appeared at the driver's side of her car. Veronica had her head down, looking for something in her bag. When she felt resistance as she tried to open her door, she turned and gasped with a hand to her heart. "God, you scared me."

"Veronica, I need your help." Logan's face was grave, his voice tight. He opened her door and she got out and stood next to him but he didn't move an inch, so she was effectively trapped between him and her car.

"Really? What's wrong?"

Logan sighed dramatically. "Just about the worst possible thing you can imagine."

Veronica spoke in a rush as she looked him over. "Oh my God, what is it? Is someone sick? Are you okay?"

"Okay, maybe it isn't the WORST possible thing. But it's bad."

"Will you just tell me already?"

"This is more of a show than a tell situation," he grabbed her hand and, _holy shit_ , tried to ignore the electrical current that ran up his arm when he touched her. After a few steps, she quickly pulled her hand out of his grasp. "Follow me."

He walked her toward the back of the lot and stopped. "Do you see this," and he motioned with his thumb over his shoulder, "thing here?"

She looked past him and couldn't seem to figure out what he was gesturing to.

"What? The sign?"

"NO! Not the sign. The, ah," and he lowered his voice and whispered into her ear, "minivan." _God, her hair smells good. Clean, vanilla, feminine._

She peeked her head around him and nodded. "Yes, I thankfully have the gift of sight. I see a very beige minivan behind you. What's the problem?"

"The PROBLEM, Miss Detective, is that you are looking at my loaner car. A beige Dodge Caravan with," he said with the utmost disdain, "fabric upholstery."

It took a second for what he said to register and when it did she burst out laughing, doubling over. When she resurfaced there were tears streaming down her face. He waited her out, silently furious.

"Go ahead. Laugh it up, Mars."

"THIS is officially the best thing that has ever happened to me!" She was practically squealing with glee. "Better than any prank I have ever pulled."

They heard the bell sound for first period.

Still giggling, she spat out, "Thank you. You've made my day, week, year." She started jogging away, calling over her shoulder, "I gotta go, I can't be late again or Mr. Sheffer will give me detention."

"Wait! We have to talk about this." But she didn't turn around and he stood in the parking lot wondering how he ever managed to get into this mess.

* * *

Journalism was the next chance he would have to talk to her. He was going to have to turn on the charm, which historically had a one hundred percent success rate when unleashed on the female population of Neptune High. With Veronica, he doubted it would make any difference.

She was there before him, seated at one of the computers in the back. He quietly walked over and pulled up a chair next to hers, sitting down gracefully.

"So, about that talk we need to have."

She didn't look up and continued typing. "Can't right now. I'm working on an article that needs to be turned in by the end of the period."

"What's it about?"

"The boys soccer team."

"Can't you just have Duncan write it? He is on the team, you know."

"I seem to remember something about that. And no, I'm writing it. So please leave me alone so I don't miss the deadline."

Logan huffed in annoyance.

"Are you always this focused? If memory serves, you can be corrupted with the promise of ice cream. Amy's Oreo mint on me after detention if you give me five minutes of your time right now because my life is FALLING APART." _And I am definitely not thinking about her mouth tasting like mint and chocolate. Does she still moan when she eats hot fudge sundaes?_

Veronica looked up, contemplating the ice cream. Logan leaned in close and murmured in her ear. "C'mon. I know you're tempted. I'll even let you make it a sundae with hot fudge and whipped cream." He gave her his best puppy dog face.

Veronica closed her eyes and took a deep breath. "Raincheck? And I promise you can talk my ear off all through detention. I will give you my full attention but ONLY if you stop talking right this second. I really need to work on this."

Logan stood, gave her a quick salute, and went over to see Duncan, who had been watching him since he sat down with Veronica.

"What's up DK?"

"Nothing. Did my eyes deceive me or were you and Veronica actually having a conversation that didn't involve insults, firearms, or the police?"

Logan ran his hand across the back of his neck. "Ah, yeah, about that. Veronica and I, we sort of… don't hate each other anymore. Actually, I don't hate her. I really don't know how she feels about me. But I'm hoping she'll at least give me a chance to make things up to her."

Duncan grinded his jaw. "What do you mean 'make things up to her'?"

"Wake up, Duncan. I've been an epic douchebag to her for a year. I finally realized it and I'm tired of being that guy."

"Wow. That's quite a turn around. Are you… interested in her?"

"No. Not like that. But I can't say the thought hasn't crossed my mind…"

Duncan raised his voice and shoved Logan. "Are you SERIOUS? That's my… my girlfriend you're talking about."

"No, it's not! You haven't even spoken to her in over a year. You honestly need to get a grip, man."

Both boys turned to see a shocked and embarrassed Veronica frozen by her computer.

_Great. One more thing to add to the shit pile of my life._

Duncan stormed out of the room and Logan sighed and plopped down to work on his own assignment, avoiding Veronica for the rest of the period. How uncomfortable was detention going to be now?

* * *

Ms. James greeted them with a cheery, "Happy Monday, you two."

Veronica groaned to herself. The only thing happy about this day was Logan's minivan. Then she thought about why he needed a new car in the first place and some of her joy dimmed, slightly. There was a missing person out there, hopefully not dead, she reminded herself. But the image of Logan driving the minivan came to her and she couldn't stop the goofy grin from spreading across her face.

Logan, noticing her, gave her a questioning look. He seemed to want to ask her something but she quickly shook her head and he turned back to Ms. James.

"Hi, Ms. James. And how was your weekend? Did you break any hearts? No wait, you probably healed some broken hearts, didn't you?" Veronica had to stifle a chuckle.

"That's enough, Logan. We aren't here to discuss my personal life."

"Maybe next time? That'll be something to look forward to," he deadpanned. Ms. James shot him an exasperated look.

"I have some work to do so you two are going to the library." She handed Veronica a piece of paper. "Here's a list of questions that I want you to ask each other and then you can shelve books until 4:00."

Veronica and Logan were seated across from each other at one of the back tables in the empty library. Veronica, rolling her eyes, read the first question to Logan. "If you had a time machine that would only work once, what point in the future or in history would you visit?"

"Pass. We need to talk about my problem and you promised you would give me your full attention."

Veronica threw the paper down. "Okay, shoot. It's not like I want to answer these questions anyway."

"Obviously, I cannot continue to drive a minivan so you have to help me."

"What do you expect me to do? How did this minivan thing even happen? Why won't they get you a car that meets with your approval?"

"My dad thinks it'll help to humble me. Build character and all that jazz."

Veronica snickered. "A humble Logan Echolls? I'll believe it when I see it."

"I AM capable of humility, you know. It's just that I rarely need to exercise it since I'm almost always the smartest and most attractive person in the room, present company excluded."

Veronica tried to hide her look of pleasure. "I'll take that compliment, thank you. Even though I know you're full of shit and only trying to butter me up. I'm still not clear on how you expect me to fix this for you?"

"Easy. Just find out what happened to the lady who went missing."

"Riiight. Sure. I'll get right on that. You think I'm going to be able to do something the police haven't done? Not to mention that my dad has expressly forbidden me to do anything else on this case." _And any extra time I have, I want to spend finding Lilly's killer._

"I'm willing to pay you double, no TRIPLE, your going rate. Please, just look into it for me? What if the police never solve this? I can't be stuck with a minivan for the rest of high school. I'll never get another date again."

_As IF Logan would ever have any trouble finding a date. But if he's willing to pay triple my rate? Not gonna turn that down._

"Fine, I'll help you. I'll run her credit cards and review the case file to see what I can see."

"Good, and one last thing. I'll be your partner on this."

"Um, no." She shook her head, "No way. I work alone."

"Nope. That's the deal. If you want triple the rate, you're going to let me help. At least with stakeouts or any non-office related activities."

"Ugh. You're so pigheaded. I'm not even sure there are going to be stakeouts or other activities. But okay, having some muscle to back me up couldn't hurt so you can come along IF you agree to follow my rules."

"You're the boss. Got it." He smirked at her. "Now, how about these questions?"

"Seriously? The time machine question?" _Why on Earth does he want to talk about these lame questions?_

"Yeah."

"You first."

Logan was pensive. "I'd go back to the day Lilly was killed and stop it."

"Me too. I guess that's an obvious answer for both of us. What if you couldn't pick that day?"

"If I couldn't choose that day, I'd probably choose the day we first met."

Veronica was surprised. "That day at the Kane's after my soccer game? Why?"

"I don't know. I'd probably try to make a better first impression. You looked so adorable and tough in your soccer uniform, I'd just like to relive that day. To see you covered in mud, talking about the goals you just scored against Pan. I wish I would've talked to you longer instead of letting Duncan pull me away to play Nintendo."

_Do not let yourself get sentimental. He just wants to make sure you'll help with his case_

Veronica looked down to hide her blush. "That'd be a waste of a time machine. Your first impression was good. We were friends from the start."

"What about you, Mars? No time travelling to the future?"

"No, I think it'd be too scary to go to the future. What if my future life was awful and then I'd have to go back to the present and work like crazy to prevent it from turning out that way? Any maybe there wouldn't be anything I could do to fix it. I'd rather have the unknown."

"So you think our futures are set? Written in the stars? That making different choices won't lead to different outcomes? How fatalistic of you."

"No, what I'm saying is that our choices aren't the only choices that impact our lives. Even if I make different choices, I can't control the choices of those around me. And maybe THOSE are the choices that lead to my messed up future life."

"For the record, I don't think you're going to have a messed up future. You're too smart. If your life wasn't turning out right, you'd figure out a way to get back on course or find a different, better course."

_It doesn't even feel like he's flirting with me. He seems sincere._

Veronica tucked a lock of hair behind her ear and moved to stand. "Um, we'd better start shelving the books."

He grabbed her wrist. "No, wait. This is more interesting. Let's do the rest of these questions. I don't even see the librarian anywhere."

Veronica settled back down, rigid in her chair. "I have a question for you. What was going on with you and Duncan today in Journalism?"

"Ah, yes. I was wondering when you were going to ask about that. I just explained to him that I didn't hate you and that I was trying to make things up to you and repair our friendship. And then…well, you heard what he said when he freaked out."

"Yeah. He has a lot of nerve calling me his girlfriend."

"Exactly. But remember, he's not all there anymore."

"Is that why you didn't punch him?"

"Partly. It wouldn't be a fair fight. And despite it all, he IS still my best friend and I hope he comes back from zombieland. I keep trying, anyway."

"You're a good friend, Logan. Duncan's lucky to have you."

Logan smiled at her. "Thanks. I can be a good friend to you, too, if you let me."

"Let's just take it one day at a time."

Logan leaned across the table with a sexy smirk. "If 'friends' doesn't work for you there's always 'friends with benefits.'" _Oh God. Oh God._ _Maybe?_

She pushed his head back and he chuckled. "Perv."

"Don't worry, Mars, your virtue is safe with me. Until you tell me otherwise. Or show me by jumping my bones."

Veronica motioned to the clock on the wall. "Would you look at that, it's 4:00. How time flies when you're having fun."

Logan put the paper with questions in his backpack. "And we only got through one question. I guess we need to find more time to hang out so we can get through the rest of 'em."

* * *

Later that night, Veronica was in her room, studying. Her cell phone pinged and she reached for it.

**From Logan 9:36 PM:**

Question 2: If you HAD to give up one of your senses (hearing, seeing, feeling, smelling, tasting) which would it be and why?

**From Veronica 9:38 PM:**

Smelling. Although I'd bury my head in cinnamon rolls for three days before I gave it up so I would always remember the smell. You?

**From Logan 9:42 PM:**

Tough one. I go with hearing. I just feel like most of what needs to be communicated can be done without speaking. The important stuff anyway. There's always sign language and writing to fill the void.

**From Veronica 9:50 PM:**

So you'd never be able to listen to music again? That's sad. What about your Celine Dion Greatest Hits CD?

**From Logan 9:52 PM:**

Haha. You know that CD belongs to my mother. And it's not as sad as ruining my sex life. When I have sex, all of the rest of the senses are vital. I need to see, touch, taste, and smell.

**From Veronica 9:55 PM:**

Of course you turned this into something sexual. Don't you think it's important to hear the satisfied sounds of your lover for good sex? And by the way, that CD was found in YOUR CD player. Not your mom's.

**From Logan 9:56 PM:**

No, because I already know with absolute certainty the sounds they are making. And I could feel the vibrations from moaning. :) Sleep well. I'm going to go listen to My Heart Will Go On.

**From Veronica 9:57 PM:**

Night, Logan.


	9. Day 8

**Day 8**

Veronica and Logan were working off their detention by shelving books in the library. Mrs. Hoffman, the Neptune High librarian, noticed that three carts full of haphazardly-piled books hadn't been touched the day before and complained to Ms. James. An angry Ms. James had them skip their typical counseling session to give them more time to shelve and they were instructed not to leave until all of the books were put away properly.

"This is why they have the internet," Veronica grumbled. "To eliminate the need for anyone to open a real book ever again." She picked up one of the books on her cart. "Who actually needs to read _The Amazing Life of the Hummingbird_ anyway?"

Logan grabbed it from her. "You're wrong. If you weren't so busy with your PI stuff all the time, maybe you would make time to broaden your mind with the written word. Knowledge is power, y'know. And there's just something about holding a book, having it in your hand, that beats a computer any day."

She shot him a look to shut him up while she rolled the cart toward the animal section. She scanned the reference code, "Dewey decimal, thank you very much," he reminded her. He was now lost in the world of hummingbirds while Veronica got busy shelving.

_Thanks for the help, Echolls. I should have known I was going to do all the work today._

"You see, here? Now this is why I love books," Logan flicked the page dramatically with his finger. "Did you know, Miss Smarty Pants, that male hummingbirds have an elaborate mating ritual? When the males are ready to mate, they perform a courtship dive for the female. The male will fly 60 feet into the air and then turn around and dive as fast as possible toward the ground while whistling. When he gets to an inch or two above the female, he immediately reverses and flies straight up another 60 feet to do it all over again."

"I'm sure that really turns the female on," she muttered, looking for 525.5.

Logan regarded her. "It does, see?" He made her look at a picture of hummingbirds mating. She read the caption underneath and chuckled.

"Yes, and did you see that mating only lasts four seconds, after which both of them leave each other to pursue other interests? Sounds like he really makes it worth her while. Then she is stuck raising the kids while he goes off to find another girlfriend. I guess I have one thing to be thankful for in life, at least I'm not a female hummingbird."

"You don't still hate birds, do you?"

Veronica looked at him as though the answer should be obvious. "What do you think? You DO recall that day at Magic Mountain when a bird stole a chicken leg right out of my hands when I was about to eat it and then pooped directly on top of my head?"

Logan laughed at the memory and looked wistful. "Of course I remember. It's one of my top-five Veronica memories. You were so furious. Lilly took you to the ladies room to clean up while Duncan and I bought you two chicken legs to make up for it. Plus ice cream. I thought you might've gotten over it by now since it's been three years but I guess you do hold a grudge, don't you?"

"I will forever hate anything with wings."

"Aw, not everything. Penguins have wings and they're adorable. Maybe you should learn to forgive a little. It was just one bird. Not everything with wings deserves your eternal disdain."

"I guess I hate anything that flies. I stand corrected." Veronica went back to scan for the right spot to shelve the hummingbird book and sighed. "A little help here, Logan? I don't want to be stuck shelving books until 6:00."

"Why, you have plans tonight? A hot date?" Logan looked down and glanced back up as though he were a shy nerdy kid talking to the most popular girl in school.

_What is that look? It's not like he doesn't have a date with a new girl every day of the week._

"And what if I did have a hot date?"

"Then I'd tell you that I hope he lasts longer than four seconds. But if it's with that cop, I wouldn't set my expectations too high. Something tells me endurance is not his forte."

Endurance really was Logan's forte, if even half of what Lilly used to say was true. Lilly loved to go into graphic detail about her sex life, often leaving Veronica feeling a churning mix of envy, curiosity, embarrassment, and arousal. Veronica wanted to try some things with Duncan but he never seemed interested in doing anything more than kissing, with his hands nearly never straying from her waist.

_Maybe that should have been a CLUE, Veronica, that you two weren't right for each other? But I can't have Logan knowing how inexperienced I am. He would taunt me for the end of days if he knew I never (that I remember) made it past first base with a quick glimpse of second then straight back to first. It's better if he thinks I'_ _m a slut. At least then I don't have to be embarrassed that no one has ever found me attractive enough to want to…_

"Really? You don't think he'd outlast a hummingbird? I guess I'll have to let you know."

Logan swallowed thickly and Veronica pretended to ignore him. He said nothing while roughly jerking his cart to the fiction section and didn't reemerge for half an hour. When his cart was empty, he came back to help her with the remaining books.

Logan touched her on the shoulder to get her to look at him. "I forgot to ask, what have you learned about our favorite missing person?"

_Why is he standing there with his hand on my shoulder? Focus, Veronica! It's hard to think with his thumb making those tiny, almost non-existent, little caresses across my collarbone. Didn't he always used to touch me before when we were friends? He must have, he's always been tactile. But I never remember him making me feel like this. Oh God, how long have I just been standing here letting him caress my collarbone like an idiot? Speak!_

Veronica looked away from his gaze and focused on the book in her hand. "Um, I reviewed the case file from my dad's cabinet, which was, ah, no small task, let me tell you. If he catches me working on this I may never see the sun again." Veronica took a half step back and Logan's hand fell from her shoulder and she swore there was a millisecond of disappointment that registered on his face. "I did all the usual background stuff, ran her credit cards and I'll be alerted if she uses one. I think our best bet is to put a tracker on the boyfriend's car. I want to see where he goes for the next few days."

Logan nodded, "Okay, when do we do that?"

"I don't need any help with that part. It'll be easy, I'll just pop over to his car while he's at work and take care of it. I'll let you know when I need you." She turned around and bent down to shelve a book on the lowest shelf.

Logan grabbed her by the elbow and pulled her back up. "No, that's not what we agreed to. Remember, I help you with any out-of-office tasks?" He looked at her earnestly, inviting her to acquiesce.

Veronica narrowed her eyes as she gave him a quick nod. "Fine. If you want to come, I'm planning on heading over there as soon as we're done here. I don't know what time he typically leaves work so we really need to hurry."

* * *

Logan was sitting in his minivan in the Neptune High lot, waiting for Veronica so he could drive them both over to Carson & Carter. When Veronica finally opened the door, he took a look at her climbing into the passenger seat and blew out a long breath. "Um, why're you dressed like that? _"_

_And kudos on assuming the starring role in every naughty secretary fantasy I will have forevermore._

Veronica was wearing a tight, black pencil skirt that went to mid-thigh, prim white shirt tucked in, and tall black pumps with tiny black bows on the back. Her hair was back in a sleek twist and she was wearing fake black-rimmed glasses.

"We are going to a corporate business during work hours. It'll be 4:45 by the time we get there, I need to try to blend in so no one notices me in the parking lot."

_Blend in? She might as well be wearing a sign that says 'hottest girl alive' in flashing letters. There was no way Veronica would blend in that getup._

"You might have an easier time blending in a pantsuit. Harness your inner Hillary Clinton. Let's stop on the way and buy you one."

"No, no time. I'm sorry if this outfit offends but you're stuck with it."

_Of course. Fuck me. Oh, God. Her skirt is riding up. I could almost see her panties if I just bend my neck forward a little. Do not get hard. Do not get hard. Oh, no. No no no…it's like I'm a fucking 13-year-old who has never seen a set of tits whenever I'm near her anymore._

Logan shifted in his seat trying to surreptitiously adjust himself. Veronica seemed oblivious to his discomfort and was busy explaining something about the best spot to place a tracker.

"Hey, Echolls. You listening?"

"Oh, um, sorry. My mind was elsewhere."

 _If I could just get laid_. Actually, the getting laid part was not, nor would it likely ever be, a problem. It was the fact that last Saturday night, when he couldn't stop thinking about Veronica, he called Michelle to see if she wanted to "get together" which they both knew was code for "fuck like bunnies". She came over and he just couldn't go through with it. She was too tall, too brunette, too dumb, too sweet. He had no reaction to her whatsoever. He had to fake a sickness to get rid of her. Veronica-fucking-Mars had completely messed with his head.

Veronica was annoyed. "If you're going to be my partner, maybe you could, y'know, actually pay attention?"

"I said I was sorry, okay?"

"Just forget it, it wasn't important." Veronica turned and looked out the side window, pouting.

When they arrived at Carson & Carter, Veronica told him to drive slowly through the lot so she could check for the right car. After about five minutes of trolling, they found it near the front entrance.

Veronica frowned. "Shoot. It's right near the front, which means my chances of being seen are higher." She told Logan to park a few rows away toward the back.

"Can you be my lookout? I'm going to be as quick as I can but if someone comes out the front while I'm down placing this, can you give a quick beep?"

"Yeah, no problem. You sure I shouldn't do this?" Logan's brow was furrowed.

"No, I got it." Veronica grabbed a professional-looking laptop bag and put the tracker inside.

She walked up beside Adam Diehl's Honda and pretended to trip and as she was coming up, placed the tracker on the underside of his car.

_Hurry up Veronica, some guy is coming. Correction, some extremely good-looking asshole is coming and he was originally headed the other way until he saw you, in all your intrinsic hotness, sprawled out on the ground._

* * *

She heard a short honk and tried to quickly straighten up when she saw an expensive pair of men's dress shoes in her periphery. She righted her bag on her shoulder and started to stand on her too-tall heels.

"Hey, are you alright? Here, let me help you up." She felt a hand on her elbow and rose to look into the eyes of a gorgeous, 20-something man who looked an awful lot like Paul Walker.

_Hello, stranger._

"Oh, thanks. I guess I should have worn some shorter heels," she chuckled while checking him out.

He leaned over to look at her shoes. "Ouch, yeah. There are times when it pays to be a guy."

"Well, thanks, again, for the assistance. I was just leaving."

"Were you here on business?"

"Oh, yes. I was just submitting my resume for an intern position. I go to Hearst and could use a job on the side. I'm sure it won't lead to anything but I like to apply in person."

He gave her an appreciative smile. "Yeah, I can see why you might want to do that. I know they're looking for help in payroll and accounting. I can give you my card if you're interested?"

"Oh, that would be so great, Mr-"

He handed her his business card. "Andrew. Andrew Carter. And you are…"

"Amber Miller." He reached out to shake her hand.

"Thanks Mr. Carter, I will definitely send you my resume."

"I'll look forward to it, Amber. I hope you don't fall on the way to your car. I can escort you, if you like."

"No, no. That won't be necessary. I promise I am usually pretty good on these things but thank you." Veronica walked slowly and steadily back to the minivan and made sure Andrew Carter had already gotten into his car and was driving away before she opened the door and looked at the freaked out expression on Logan's face.

* * *

"What the fuck was that all about? I was going crazy wondering if I should come out there or-"

"It's all good. Just drive. It actually may be a bit of luck. If the tracker doesn't lead to anything and we need to get a closer look at Adam Diehl, I think I could get myself an internship there and I could scope him out at work. Just a possibility at this point. But options are good."

"NO WAY. Are you crazy? You are NOT going to get close to a murderer!"

"Do you trust me to work on this case for you or not? I thought you hired me to do a job."

"Yeah, but I guess I didn't really think it through very well. I don't want you to do anything that puts you anywhere near that guy."

"Look, we have absolutely no idea if the guy did anything wrong. He may be totally innocent. And after one day on the job, I could quit. I would just need one day to scan his computer, maybe plant a bug or two in his office."

"I'm still having a really fucking hard time reconciling Veronica 1.0 and Veronica 2.0. Were you always this kick-ass and how did I miss it?"

Veronica gave him a half smile. "Of course I was always this kick-ass. That's why Lilly was my best friend. You were just too caught up in Lilly's orbit to notice much else."

"Not true. I ALWAYS noticed you."

"Yeah, as Lilly's annoying friend who stood in the way between you two having sex 24/7."

Logan veered the car off of the road and looked at her. _Please let her just be joking._

"You don't honestly think that's what I thought of you, do you?"

She shrugged, like it didn't really matter.

"Veronica, you and Duncan were my best friends. I NEVER thought of you as annoying. I LIKED hanging out with you, with just you, and with all of us. Don't rewrite history. Our friendship was real. At least for me…"

Veronica turned and looked out the window again but didn't say anything. _Shit!_

Logan drove her back to her car in the Neptune High lot. Before she got out she turned to look at him with her chin set.

"You sure didn't have a problem dropping me as soon as Lilly died. It doesn't seem like we were as good of friends as you're remembering."

"I told you, I don't know why I did that. I mean, I guess part of me was upset about you telling Lilly about Yolanda. And when you chose to support your dad, it hurt."

"Bullshit. You know those are two bullshit excuses. Let's be honest here. No Counselor Becky to intervene. I know the real reason why you made me enemy #1."

_She does? I don't even know the real reason. I was just sucked into a hole of grief so big I thought it would swallow me up. I wasn't thinking clearly. Focusing on Veronica gave me a reason to get up every day._

"I don't-"

She held up her hand to shut him up and looked at him, powerful and poised. "The reason, Logan, that you hate me is because I am the blonde who LIVED."

_What!? Oh my God. Is she right? Am I that fucked up that I would subconsciously punish her for not being murdered? Jesus, I need time to process this._

Veronica grabbed her stuff and pushed the door open.

"Wait! Please. You can't just say that and go. It's not true. I would never-"

She shut the door without looking back and drove off in her LeBaron while Logan sat completely still and teary-eyed in the van, too floored by her accusation to move. After ten minutes, he headed for the beach to think.


	10. Day 9

**Day 9**

Veronica had been waiting for the inevitable run-in with Logan all day. It took her until fourth period to conclude that he must be skipping, which left her feeling equal parts relieved and anxious. The look he'd given her when she finally decided to confront him about his behavior… it was like she sucker-punched him.

She didn't know whether her accusation would impact their uneasy truce but he needed to hear it. The realization that Logan hated her for being the one who lived - for being a walking, breathing reminder of the girl he had loved and lost - was obvious to her.

_But why did he seem so shaken when I said it? Is he really that out-of-touch with his own emotions?_

It didn't gel with what Veronica knew of him, which proved all the more puzzling. He wore his heart - or in her case, his resentment - on his sleeve.

Over the last week, there were times when Veronica thought that maybe they could, eventually, be friends…or something. She would later berate herself for letting him breach her defenses so effortlessly.

_One week. That's all it took. One week after a YEAR of hell._

The fact was, she could all-too-easily see herself falling back into old rhythms with him it scared her.

_Is it really old rhythms I'm worried about? Let's be honest, the super-flirty new rhythm is completely confusing._

* * *

Ms. James took the opportunity of Logan's absence to attempt to engage Veronica in a discussion about her feelings. She tried to break the ice with banter about various innocuous topics but Veronica shut her down with snarky, one word answers. Finally, she just gave in and asked what was on her mind.

"Veronica, how are you feeling about all of this?"

"About all of what?"

"The counseling sessions with Logan. Are they helping?"

She scoffed humorlessly. "If by 'helping' you mean opening old wounds, then yeah, they're really helping."

"I see. Is that what's happening?" Ms. James nodded to herself. "Sometimes you need to talk through things in order to get past them, to get some closure. If the sessions are a catalyst for meaningful communication between you two, then I'm encouraged."

 _Don't let her see your eyes roll, Veronica_.

"Fantastic." She clapped her hands together. "Can I go now? What's my detention for today?"

Ms. James gave her a sympathetic look. "Given that Logan isn't here, I'll let you off the hook. You can go home. I'll see you tomorrow."

* * *

Logan hadn't moved from his bed all day, except to get more booze and to throw up twice. He'd been various degrees of wasted for the last 18 hours, not counting the window of time in which he passed out from about 4:00 a.m. until 8:00 a.m. Upon waking, he came to some sobering conclusions which necessitated the need for more alcohol.

1\. Veronica may be right although he didn't have the self-awareness to know for sure. It made sense on paper.

2\. If it was true, he was an even bigger dickhead (not nearly a sinister enough word choice but he'd think of something better when he was 100% sober) than his father. What kind of guy punishes an innocent girl for NOT being a homicide victim?

3\. He probably needs to see a therapist for real. Like move in with one and discuss this shit daily.

4\. How do you apologize for something like this? "Oh, geez, sorry Veronica, for wishing your skull was bashed in and you were six feet under. Bygones?"

But the one thing that ran on a loop in his head that he couldn't shake was SHE'S WRONG. For all of the things he's consciously felt toward Veronica; friendship, anger, lust, admiration, betrayal - not once did the thought ever cross his mind that he didn't want her to be alive. In fact, he could recognize now, having Veronica in his life, even as an enemy, was something that helped him get over Lilly's death. Without Veronica, he may as well have been buried next to Lilly. But the real problem was that he didn't have a good explanation for turning on her.

And she is a girl who respects facts, who would require an alternative theory to disavow her previous theory.

_But I'm fresh out of explanations. Which also makes me worse than my dad because he always makes the reasons he abuses me CRYSTAL clear._

He found a bottle of his mom's favorite vodka and took a big swig.

* * *

Veronica fired up her laptop to monitor the tracker on Adam Diehl's car. It was parked at his office, as she expected. She watched him the previous night after work and he only went home and then back to work this morning. _If he's guilty of a crime, his actions don't show it._

She checked back in at 5:00, when most of the employees would be leaving for the day. Sure enough, a few minutes later, his car was on the move. When he turned right instead of left out of the parking lot, she perked up.

_Let's see where you go…_

As the minutes ticked by and she watched his route unfold, her heart began to pound wildly. With every turn he made, she became increasingly more terrified.

_Oh my God. He's only a few minutes away from…_

She grabbed her bag and ran for her car, dialing Logan urgently. _Pick up, pick up, pick up._

"You've reached Logan with today's inspirational message. 'The apple doesn't fall far from the tree.' If you leave a message, I probably won't call you back."

"Logan, it's Veronica. Listen to me. Call me back. But for right now, make sure your alarm system is on and your gate is locked."

* * *

She floored it over to Logan's in record time. When she neared his house, she looked around for any parked cars on the street but didn't see anything out of the ordinary. His gate was open, so she pulled in and sprinted to the front door. After two minutes of pounding and incessant doorbell ringing, Logan opened the door looking…completely terrible in a ratty t-shirt and sweat pants.

Veronica had never been so relieved to see him in her life. "Oh, thank God, are you okay?"

He scratched the back of his head and took her in; she was clearly distressed, taser tightly gripped in her hand. Her hair was pulled back in two little pony tails making her look like she was about 12 but the rest of her was all sugar and spice perfection, including her trademark miniskirt and boots of many-a-fantasy.

"Um, 'okay' is a relative term. Not sure I'd say I'm 'okay' at this exact moment, no."

She narrowed her eyes, in no mood for his games. "Not what I mean. I MEAN, has any potential murderer paid you a visit and threatened you with bodily harm?"

"What?" His eyes weren't focusing on her clearly.

_Perfect, the jackass is half drunk._

She was growing annoyed now. "Uggh. Just let me in and I'll explain. Turn on your alarm system and shut the gate." She pushed past him, not giving him the option of turning her away. He did as she asked and met her in the kitchen, where she was pulling out her laptop and logging in to the tracking software.

"He's parked around the block. I think we need to call 911."

He quickly sobered up at that point. "Do you mean that Diehl guy is here?"

She nodded and he let the expletives fly. "I'm going to catch hell from my dad for this. If the cops come, they'll know I'm drunk."

"Yeah, you're right, it would be much better if a crazy-ass murderer breaks in and kills us instead." She reached for her cell and started dialing but he grabbed it from her and held it up.

"I have another option. I'll call my dad's security company to come and do a sweep of the property. They are nothing if not discreet."

"All right, but do it NOW. I feel like a sitting duck." But before he could make the call, someone was buzzing the gate. They looked out the window and sure enough, it was Adam Diehl. Logan went to the intercom with Veronica hanging off of his arm begging him not to engage. He ignored her and motioned for her to be quiet.

"Yes."

"Um, hi. My name is Adam Diehl. I, um…, God, this is like really weird, I know, but I was wondering if there was someone in your house who drove a yellow Nissan XTerra?"

"Look, dude, just get to the point. What do you want?"

"Well, I don't know if you've seen the news about a missing woman, Shannon Hastings? Anyway, she and I were…, well, close and I was hoping that someone here, if they drove an XTerra, may have seen her the night she disappeared. I'm just, like, really desperate because I'm in love with her and I don't know what else to do." At this, the guy broke down in tears, sobbing at the Echolls' front gate.

Logan and Veronica shared a panicky look. Veronica went to press the intercom but Logan held her back, telling her that he didn't want the guy to know anything about her being at the Camelot that night.

"Listen, man, I told the cops everything I know. You need to leave my property now before I have you arrested."

"Wait, wait. It's you. You saw her then. Please, just give me a minute."

When Logan didn't respond, the guy went on.

"The cops aren't doing anything to find her, they say without a body their hands are tied because there's no evidence of a crime. I'm going out of my mind with worry. I just really hope you saw something that would give me a clue as to where she went."

"What I saw is you yelling at her."

"Yeah, I know. It looks bad. It was our first fight, like ever. She's um, she's pregnant, with my child and her husband beats her. She told me she was going to leave him so we could be together but… then, that night, she said she couldn't because she was worried he would kill her if she tried to leave him. I know I shouldn't have yelled at her. Look, do you think we could talk about this face-to-face?"

"No, dude. I'm going to call the police if you don't leave. I'm sorry about your girlfriend. I hope she's okay but I have absolutely no information about where she went. I didn't even see what direction she drove off in. That's all I know."

"Yeah, okay, thanks anyway. I knew it was a long shot but, like I said, I just don't know what to do with myself."

"You need to not come back here again, are we clear?"

The man, sobbing again, just said, "Yes."

Veronica didn't breathe normally until she tracked his car all the way back to his house.

* * *

Logan, freshly showered and shaved, plopped down on the couch next to Veronica. "Well, THAT happened." He eyed her as she repeatedly checked the tracking software. "Hey, don't worry, the guy is gone. Everything's fine now."

"Fine!? It is NOT FINE. I have about a million thoughts running through my head and I just…," she leaned back on the couch, stared at the ceiling, and took a deep breath.

He gave her a soft look and said, "Did you really come over here to save me?"

She nodded, and if she had bothered to look at him just then, she may have seen a look of pure adoration cross his face. It was quickly replaced by worry.

"Veronica. What did you think you could do? You only had a taser. If he was trying to murder me, he probably would have hurt you, too. I can't even THINK about that," he threw his hands up in the air to punctuate his point. "Look, when we aren't so frazzled, I think we need to talk about the case. But right now, I just want to relax. It's been a really stressful day."

She faced him and asked, seemingly innocent, "What do you suggest for a stress reliever?"

_You, writhing naked underneath me would be a great start._

"Movie and ice cream?"

"That depends on the movie and the ice cream."

"You drive a hard bargain, Mars. What'll it be? I'll do my very best to satisfy you," he said, voice earnest and husky.

This, finally, got her to blush and the corner of her lips turned up, ever so slightly. "The ice cream must be a flavor. Vanilla is not a flavor. And it must not be too hard. I like it kinda melty and soft. And it must have a topping. One of the following is acceptable; sprinkles, hot fudge, caramel, or whipped cream. Bonus points if there is more than one topping."

_If there is a God in heaven, please let Mrs. Navarro have bought ice cream sundae toppings._

"I think I can meet your requirements. Anything else?"

"Yes, for the movie. Anything not starring Aaron Echolls would be perfect."

Another look of adoration crossed his face and, this time, she noticed.

* * *

They settled in on the sofa to watch _Jurassic Park_ and eat sundaes. Logan gave her three scoops of chocolate with sprinkles and whipped cream, and she gave him one of her big, gummy, dazzling smiles in return that made his stomach do funny things. He had run the outside of the ice cream tub under hot water for a minute to try to get Veronica's ice cream to the right "soft, kinda melty" stage. It must have been to her liking since she ate it all in less than five minutes flat. She was licking the spoon when she noticed him staring at her.

"What, do I have chocolate on my face?"

"No, just wondering if you wanted more? You ate it really fast."

"Oh, no, I'm stuffed. It's just, you have to eat it fast so it's not too soft before you get to the end."

_Christ! Does she even hear herself? Everything she says is dripping with innuendo. She is the most inadvertently sexual being in existence._

He abruptly paused the movie just after Richard Attenborough boldly declared, "Welcome to Jurassic Park," and turned to her so his knee was grazing her thigh. "Hey, I know it's been a long day but I need to say something. It's just really important to me that you know that no matter what I said or did over the last year..." He paused, looking pained, then grabbed her hand and held it with both of his, rubbing over her knuckles with his thumb. "Look, I know you think that I wish you had died instead of Lilly, but God, that's not true. I would never wish that of you. It's all I've thought about since you said it and you're wrong. I was just totally grief stricken and angry and messed up and there's no excuse I can give but - I. Am. So. Fucking. Happy. That. You're. Alive. If you never believe anything else I say, at least believe that."

She looked away and he squeezed her hand, bringing her attention back to him. "I don't want to talk about it tonight, or really ever. I think what I think. It's not like it just dawned on me. I've thought that way for most of the last year. It's fine, whatever. I'd prefer not to dwell on the past anyway. Lots of stuff I'd rather forget." She pulled her hand away and got up to take their bowls to the kitchen.

He deflated a bit and then ended it with, "Um, okay. But I'd really like to talk about it sometime, you know, if you – if you want."

She gave him a dismissive nod and he restarted the movie. He was totally sober now, and in a state of constant torture by being so close to her, on his couch, in the dark, but unable to touch her the way he dreamed of. Also torturous was the way she reacted to the movie, like she'd never seen it before, although he had watched it with her no less than seven times in the past. She gasped and jumped and bit her nails and it was completely endearing.

When the movie ended, she stood and stretched and he attempted to keep his thoughts PG when he glimpsed her tiny waist as her shirt lifted up. She gave one last check on Diehl's car, still parked at his house, and started to pack up her stuff.

"Thanks, Veronica, seriously, for coming over here. I'm surprised after the way we left things yesterday that you even bothered. But, I guess I have my very own tiny, blonde superhero looking out for me."

She tried to hide her smile at his compliment. "It's not a big deal. We're partners, right?"

Logan smirked down at her, "Yeah, partners."

As she walked to the door, she looked back over her shoulder and asked him, "Are you staying here alone tonight?"

"Oh, um, I think my mom is due back from her French shopping trip later tonight, I'm not sure."

She glanced around, nervous, and met his eyes. "This is going to sound crazy but do you maybe want to stay at my place tonight? I'm not thrilled about you spending time here alone after that guy today."

He stepped close enough to wrap his arms around her. "I'm sure your dad would love the idea of us having a sleepover." He put one hand on her shoulder because, _fuck_ , he just couldn't NOT touch her anymore and ran his thumb down her neck. "Can I braid your hair and we can talk about boys?"

She leaned in, conspiratorially, "My dad's out of town. And yes to the hair braiding and boy talk. I'd love to know which boys you think look cute in gym class."

"Eww. Way to ruin the moment. But, seriously, I've got a very expensive security system keeping me safe. It's you I'm worried about."

"I'm tougher than I look, so don't worry. I've got a big pitbull keeping me safe."

He ran his thumb up over her jaw and gently across her cheek. "Well, partner, I guess I'll see you tomorrow?"

She nuzzled into his hand, and he wasn't even sure if she was aware of her actions, but it definitely looked to him like she was hoping for a kiss. Just as he was about to lean down and let her know how desperately he wanted her, she whispered, "See you tomorrow, Logan." And she spun around and left him standing there, speechless.


	11. Day 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I'm not sure if any of this is relevant to your enjoyment of this tale but this is what's in my head: This story went AU after 1.1. It picks up around mid-late October, so after homecoming and the anniversary of Lilly's death. Logan and Veronica have been softening toward each other since the first week of school and mainly doing low-impact pranks for the last 6-ish weeks to get each other's attention. Logan is aware of this but Veronica doesn't see it. Logan didn't have a relationship with Caitlin Ford and Veronica didn't date Troy Vandegraff. She did help Logan with the memorial video, and I see that playing out in a similar way as it did in the series. Also, this Veronica is farther along in her investigation into Lilly's death than in the series. At this point she knows Koontz is innocent but not for the same reasons as in the series. This is just meant to give you some back story, I really don't intend to spend too much time on the Lilly case.

**Day 10**

_What the hell was that last night? I was two seconds away from kissing Logan. I think he was one second away from kissing me. Damn my teenage hormones! I was just feeling the adrenaline from the day. That's the only reasonable explanation. There's also the way he was looking at me._ Dear God _, the way he was looking at me….I can admit it, Logan is hot. Like in a scorching, off-the-charts kind of way. But no way am I going there. It's just not going to happen. There are way too many notches on his bedpost and not nearly enough on mine._

_I really need to start dating again. At this rate, I'm going to end up a spinster with 100 cats who pickles things for fun. Maybe I should call the cute deputy? Do 20-year-old cops want to be with sexually inexperienced high school detectives? Probably not. Time to review my options. I vow that I will find someone to kiss soon – this weekend! - and make some sort of progress toward reclaiming my sexuality. But where to find the lucky guy?_

* * *

_She asked me to spend the night at her place! Was I an idiot to turn that down? No, I did the right thing by quitting while I was ahead. It's a delicate situation, me and Veronica. One early misstep could ruin the whole thing. But one thing's for sure: It's on. I know she felt it. Sparks. Electricity. Chemistry. There's no way she can ignore it anymore. She and I belong together. Period. End of sentence. Time to make it happen._

_Because when Veronica Mars is willing to risk her life to save your pathetic ass, existence can't be all bad. It can actually be pretty fucking spectacular._

* * *

Mmm. Cinnamon rolls. The sweet scent wafted out of her locker before she even got the door open. Inside, she found a note: _Just in case you lose your sense of smell today. Save me one for later?_ _\- L_

First of all, yay, cinnamon rolls. Second, how did Logan know her locker combination? This could be bad, there were personal items in her locker that were none of his business. Like Lilly's case file that she copied and hid from her dad. She needed to change her combination immediately.

Was this a friend gesture? A thanks-for-rushing-over-in-my-time-of-need gesture? A sorry-I-almost-kissed-you gesture? A I-wish-I-HAD-kissed-you gesture? A why-did-you-almost-kiss-me gesture? Too many thoughts were swirling around in her head and she needed to avoid him for a little while to figure things out. He was being _him_ again. Considerate. Kind. It was becoming increasingly difficult for her to deny those long-buried affectionate feelings. And dammit, she really didn't want to deny it anymore. She missed him.

_Maybe it's time to let him in a little, Veronica. See if this friendship is worth salvaging._

She took a big bite of her cinnamon roll. She could get used to being Logan's friend again.

* * *

"Hey." Logan smiled at her as he walked into the office and took the seat to her right.

"Oh, hey." She closed the notebook she was reading and put it in her bag.

"I haven't seen you at all today. Did you skip Journalism?"

"No, I had to get some pictures for a few of the articles. Miss Dent excused me for the period."

He leaned into her space a bit and asked, expectantly, "Did you save me a cinnamon roll? I'm pretty hungry."

"Sorry, I ate two of them and gave the third one to Wallace. He was begging."

_Note to self: Veronica gives in to guys who beg._

"Oh, sure, he rates but the guy who buys them for you doesn't. I'm really feeling the love."

"Aw, poor baby. Thanks, it was a nice surprise." She tilted her head and looked at him suspiciously through narrowed eyes. "And how, exactly, did you figure out my locker combination?"

_Bribing the freshman with the locker next to yours to watch when you open it._

_But she doesn't need to know how long ago that was. I've had her combination since the second week of school. I knew it would come in handy someday._

"You're not the only detective on the block, Mars. I've picked up a few skills since becoming your partner."

"Clearly. I'm both impressed and terrified."

"Impressed is good. Terrified is not what I was aiming for. I'll have to do better next time."

"Logan, you didn't have to bring me anything. It's not necessary. You are paying me, if you recall, for my time. That's all the thanks I need."

"It has nothing to do with the case. I did it because I wanted to do something nice for you."

Ms. James walked in then, apologizing for keeping them waiting.

"Today I'll have you work on an exercise that I like to call 'Five Things.' This can be done with a variety of topics. Since this is the first time you're doing this, I'll choose a simple topic. Veronica, you can start. How about you each talk about five things that would be a part of your ideal or perfect day."

Veronica sat and thought for a moment. As she spoke she counted off on her fingers. "My perfect day would consist of sleeping in, taking my dog to the beach, getting waffles at The Neptune Diner, solving Lilly's murder, and - I realize I couldn't find her killer and have them stand trial in the same 24-hour period, but this is my perfect day 'dream' scenario - watching as her murderer is led away in handcuffs after receiving three consecutive life sentences with no possibility of parole. Sometimes I think about the death penalty as an alternative, when I'm feeling especially pissed off. It just depends on my mood."

Logan and Ms. James sat in astonished silence for a minute, just staring at her.

"Veronica, I'm sure you know that Lilly Kane's murder was solved. The man confessed."

"Yeah. And I also know for sure that he didn't do it. I'm not going to debate these points with you. You asked for my perfect day and I told you."

Logan's perfect day plan was shot all to hell. Gone were his ideas to woo her with pointed talk of eating chocolate ice cream while watching _Jurassic Park_. Now, he couldn't even formulate complete thoughts. Veronica thought Abel Koontz was innocent?

_What the fuck is wrong with her? Why can't she let Lilly rest in peace and her murderer rot in jail? I'm just going to have to help her see reality. She's obviously not over Lilly's death and clinging to these crazy notions isn't healthy. She is seriously damaged._

Ms. James cleared her throat. "Logan, your turn."

_Time to shut this down so I can talk to Veronica alone._

"Sorry, I don't think I can make it through this exercise without saying something you would find inappropriate. Two of my five answers include," and he held up one finger, "having a threesome with Angelina Jolie and Britney Spears circa 2001 and," he held up a second finger and flipped his hand around, "extensive drug use. Those are the tamest responses. Do you want me to tell you about the other three? I have a particularly active and detailed fantasy life. Veronica might have to leave the room first, though. Otherwise I fear she'd be well within her rights to sue the school district."

"O-kay. I'll stop you there, Logan. There's a lot to take in from what was said here today. I'm just going to take some time to think about everything. You two can go to the gym and help the social committee paint banners for the 70's dance."

* * *

"Veronica, wait up." Logan jogged in front of her and blocked her way into the gym.

He put one hand on the locker next to him, bracing himself and leaned into it. "Listen, were you just messing with Counselor Becky back there? Or do you really believe all that stuff about Lilly's murder?"

She shook her head. "I really don't want to argue about this."

"I'm not looking for an argument, either."

"Do I think Abel Koontz killed Lilly? No. I'm one-hundred-percent sure he didn't."

_Maybe this is just her way of dealing with grief? Of not letting Lilly go. Who am I to judge? I sure as shit didn't grieve appropriately. I just need to be supportive until I know she trusts me and then we can have an honest conversation about moving on. She probably needs to see a grief counselor. Of course she's still clinging to Lilly. She didn't have anyone else because of me._

He rubbed the back of his neck. "How…how do you know that? He gave a full confession. Why would he-"

"Listen. I told you there's a lot you don't know about me. This is one of those times where you're just going to have to trust me. Or not - your choice."

"I don't even know what to say here. I mean – look, I know how smart you are. I guess if you say you have reason to believe that he didn't do it… but…do you, you know, have reasons?"

"What the hell kind of question is that? Of course I have reasons!"

"No, yeah. I get it." He looked down and mumbled, "I guess." _Could she possibly be right?_ "Can you tell me some of those reasons?"

"No, I'm still investigating," she said, crossing her arms in front of her like body armor.

"So just to be clear - you are actively trying to solve Lilly's murder?"

She nodded and said, "Yeah," on an exhale.

"As well as my case and all of the other cases for your dad? All while taking a heavy load of AP classes and maintaining a near-perfect GPA?"

"Yes."

"Okay. How the hell do you do all of that? You're amazing, you know that?" He brushed her bangs back with one finger and pushed a lock of hair behind her ear. "Do you ever get to just be a teenager?"

"No, but I've recently added it to my to-do list." She gave him a resigned look and walked past him into the gym.

* * *

Veronica plunged her paintbrush into the fuchsia paint and did her best not to drip on the edge of the long white paper banner. She carefully placed it inside the "7" and started to paint. Logan was lying down next to her on the gym floor, painting intricate avocado-green and yellow swirls on the background, meant to evoke the disco feel of the 70's.

Logan had natural artistic ability and rough sketched the entire banner with a pencil in only a few minutes, under the watchful scrutiny of the social committee. All nine members congratulated him on his design.

"Hey, watch out," Logan said as Veronica leaned over his workspace with her paintbrush.

"Oh, God, sorry. I dripped pink on your green. This is a terrible project for me. I don't have an artistic bone in my body."

"No, it's fine. Keep painting, it's looking good. I'll just fix this up. I'll turn it into a flower or heart or something."

"So, about your case – "

"Yeah?"

"I'm going to skip school tomorrow and head on over to Carson & Carter to be an intern for the day."

He stopped painting to look at her. "Really? How'd you swing that?"

She gave him a smug look. "I have my ways. I may suck at art but I'm an excellent bullshitter."

"Don't I know it? And where will I be during your undercover operation?"

"Here, at school. You know you can't come, right?"

He sighed. "Yeah, I know. But what if you run into trouble? Maybe I should camp out in the parking lot or something."

"Very funny and totally not necessary. Just keep your phone on and I'll text you."

Logan resumed painting. "So… you believe Diehl knows something about the disappearance?"

"I honestly have no idea. That's why I need to get over there and gather some intel." She looked down at what he was painting. "Wow, Logan. I never knew you were such a talented artist. Those little pink hearts you made from my mistake look great. It's even better than the original design."

"Yeah, maybe I'll add some around the top, too. Kind of balance it out."

"Watch out. The social committee probably has plans to make you paint all of the banners for the rest of the year."

"Nah. It's just kind of fun. This is the best detention we've had yet."

"I don't know. I sort of liked cafeteria duty."

"You think washing lunch trays is better than painting banners?"

She snickered. "I think watching you get soaking wet and having your perfectly gelled hair deflate was pretty enjoyable."

_Wet Logan. Yum. He took off his top shirt and the way his t-shirt clung to him, he looked really…_

_Bad, Veronica! The person you kiss CAN'T be Logan. Not Logan. Not Logan. Not Logan._

Logan looked like the cat who swallowed the canary. "So you like imagining me soaking wet? And you think my hair is perfect? Good to know." Then he put his brush down and sat up to look at her. "Hey, do you have any plans tomorrow night? Casey's having a Halloween party at his house and I thought maybe you'd like to go? I could pick you up."

She scrunched her nose. "Another '09er party? I only go to those when I'm working a case or when Wallace lies to me."

"I know but I thought, since we're friends now or whatever… Look, I promise no one will mess with you. I just want you to have some fun. I won't leave your side all night if you don't want me to. I won't even drink so you can do whatever. C'mon, I'll be your designated driver."

"I don't even have a costume."

_Just say yes, Veronica. Go find a hot guy and kiss the hell out of him. It's time._

"Can't you just wear one of your undercover outfits? One of those will work, right?"

"Yeah, I guess."

"Good, I'll pick you up at 8:00." Logan gave her a sexy half-smile and returned to his 70's-inspired masterpiece.


	12. Day 11

**Day 11**

As Veronica dressed for the Halloween party, her mind was on the case. After a day spent at Carson & Carter, she was anxious to get into Shannon Hastings' and Adam Diehl's email accounts. Despite her best efforts, she was unable to find any password references in Shannon Hastings' office. That left Veronica in desperate need of a hacker, and not for the first time. She did have some luck - Diehl kept a list of passwords taped to the bottom of his desk drawer.

_At least I'll probably be able to access his email. Maybe I can cut out of the party early and start combing through it. After the kissing. That I must do tonight. Like a normal teenager._

She assessed her costume in the mirror, turning to make sure it looked right from every angle. Tonight she wanted the polar opposite of a virginal white sundress. Mission accomplished. She smirked.

_More than accomplished._

The beauty of it was that she already owned almost everything she needed; black necklaces, black cropped tank, tiny black shorts, and black combat boots. The only pieces she didn't already own were the brown wig and twin thigh holsters. She splurged on real thigh holsters and popped her taser in one of them and a fake gun in the other.

Backup barked at the knock at the door. At least her dad was working tonight and she wouldn't have to deal with a potentially uncomfortable meeting between her dad and Logan. She'd kept her dad in the dark about the animosity between them but the man _was_ a professional detective. It wasn't hard to miss the absence of Logan in her life. Thankfully, Keith never pestered her about it. He was embroiled in his own problems.

Logan was leaning back on the railing across from her apartment when she opened the door. His arms and legs were crossed, one ankle over the other, looking suave and confident. And half-naked.

_And incredibly hot._

"Woo-hoo, would you look at us," he said as she held the door open for him. "Looks like we're both dressed for a fight."

She couldn't force her eyes away from the many inches of tan, bare skin on display as he stepped into her apartment. As she was examining all of the parts of his costume, he was examining all of the parts of her tiny apartment.

Veronica was expecting a jab from him - that never came - about her apartment. He was studying the space, probably trying to picture her living there. It was a huge step down from the house she grew up in, which itself was a huge step down from the Echolls manse.

_He must be feeling culture shock right now._

His attention turned back to her and he broke out into a crooked little smile as he openly checked her out; his eyes running from the boots, up her bare legs, widening on her thigh holsters, and slowly moving up until he finally met her eyes. "You look great but where's your costume?"

After muttering "funny" and punching him lightly in his _solid-naked-muscled_ chest, she walked to her room with him at her heels. Pointing at him, she instructed, "You. Stay. I'll be right back."

Disappointed, he went back to the living room to pet Backup, who rolled over and let Logan scratch his tummy.

Logan called out to her, "This guy's missed me, I can tell. He's about triple the weight since the last time I did this."

She returned holding a jacket to find Backup basking in all of the attention. "He's supposed to be a guard dog. I don't see much guarding happening right now. What's strange is that you're the only one he's ever done this for. You sure you're not hiding a steak under that skirt?"

"I'm hiding something under here but it definitely isn't a steak. Oh, and gladiators don't wear skirts. We wear loincloths."

"You say loincloth, I say skirt."

* * *

In Logan's minivan, Veronica filled him in on her internship. She'd had minimal contact with Adam Diehl, since he spent most of the day in his office. When they had a birthday celebration for one of the employees in the break room, she was able to copy his hard drive and plant a bug.

Logan tried his very best to pay attention. He really did. But Veronica Mars was sitting in his car dressed like… _that_. And he was a teenage boy. And his self-control was waning.

_It had to be Lara Croft. Thigh holsters. Fucking thigh holsters!_

"Just have to ask, have you ever dressed as Lara Croft for one of your cases?" They were walking into Casey's house, party in full swing.

_If she says yes, I'm going to have an embarrassing loincloth problem._

"No. This costume idea just came to me in a moment of brilliance."

He stopped her in the entryway and pulled the long french braid of her wig over her shoulder, fiddling with the ends. "I wholeheartedly approve."

"I figured. Tomb Raider was always your favorite. When we hid the game from you for a week, you almost cried."

"Those were not tears of sadness but of sexual frustration."

She looked at him in mock-surprise. "Logan Echolls sexually frustrated!? Never!"

_If only you knew._

They made their way to the kitchen for some drinks. Dick and Madison were there with a bunch of other '09ers. Upon seeing Logan walk in with Veronica, a hush came over the crowd.

Dick, dressed as a scuba diver, was chugging beer that some sophomore was pouring down his snorkel. Attempting to get everyone talking again, Logan approached Dick by the keg. "Hey, man. What's up?"

Dick stopped chugging and nodded his head in greeting. "Logan. And Logan's…guest."

Logan put a hand on his shoulder as a friendly warning. "Play nice, Dick."

"You sound like a broken record, dude… all 'you better be nice to Veronica or I'll kill you.' You've never had to work this hard to get laid."

Veronica and Logan took a step away from each other in embarrassment.

_I'm going to kill him. He's dead. But not in front of this crowd._

Madison turned to Veronica and sneered. "What are you supposed to be, like…. a mechanic or something?" Her friends were snickering behind her.

"Fuck off, Madison."

Madison got in Veronica's face. "Oh, how original!"

"Like your sexy kitten costume? How many of those are here tonight?" Veronica looked around the room and pointed out three in the vicinity. "Wanna see something original?" She pulled her taser out and sparked it next to Madisons's face.

"Get away from me, you freak!"

Dick stepped between them. "Whoa! Girl fight. I take it back, Ronnie. You should come to every party. My money's on you in this one."

"Dick!" Madison huffed and stormed away.

"Oh, come on, Maddie!" Dick disappeared down the hall, trailing Madison.

Logan pulled Veronica into the corner, amusement clear on his face. "Okay, let's get you a drink. I wasn't serious about doing battle tonight, you know."

"That's what you get for bringing me here."

"We can leave, if you want. Go somewhere else?"

She gestured between them. "In these costumes? I think we're stuck here."

"I'm sorry, Veronica. I didn't think there would be any trouble. I just figured everyone should get used to seeing us together again. I shouldn't have brought you here."

"No, it's okay. I wanted to come. There's something important I need to do here tonight. And I don't care what anyone says, especially Dick and Madison. But why do you think everyone needs to 'get used to' seeing us?"

Logan picked up the braid of her wig again, and ran his thumb back and forth over the rubber band at the end. "I just meant that since we're…friends… again. We are, right?"

"Friends? I guess. I'm honestly not sure what we are. It seems to change by the day."

"You know, friends sounds better than mortal enemies."

"Yeah, it does. Who knew our couples counseling would work out so well? From mortal enemies to something-like-friends in two weeks."

_And what will we be in two more weeks?_

* * *

The Gant's fire pit was a thing of beauty. It was at the secluded end of the Gant's expansive patio, surrounded by bushes and verdant landscaping. The fire area was three steps below the rest of the patio and there was a stone wall enclosing it that provided privacy. A custom-built curved white sofa circled the fire with numerous navy blue pillows and blankets folded nearby.

Logan led Veronica to the fire pit after finding her an unopened bottle of beer, per her request. It was the perfect spot to get away from the prying eyes of their classmates after the Madison debacle in the kitchen. She and Logan sat alone on the sofa, one inch of space separating them, the warmth of the fire keeping them comfortable despite the lack of material in their costumes. They both had their feet propped on the edge of the pit, Logan's Roman sandals juxtaposed with Veronica's combat boots.

He put his arm around the back of the sofa behind her head and took a sip of his Pepsi. "So I wanted to talk to you about something. I want you to add whatever it cost to get your headlights repaired to my invoice. I know I owe you for that."

She looked up at him, her head bumping his bicep behind her. "I didn't have to pay anything to have them fixed."

"No?" Logan asked.

"Weevil took care of it." She took a long pull from her beer bottle and winced. Beer was not her drink of choice but it was the only unopened choice for alcohol. She just needed to feel a slight buzz tonight. One beer ought to do it. Hoping to reach the end soon, she chugged a little more.

"He just wants to get in your pants," he mumbled.

She was not amused. "Excuse me?"

He nodded to himself and looked into the fire. "Trust me. I know how guys think."

"So no guy could want to be my friend without also wanting to get in my pants?" she asked pointedly.

"I thought you said you and Weevil weren't friends?" he said, ignoring the bait.

"We're… it's just… we help each other out."

"Right. Your 'arrangement.'"

"What is this? The third degree? Why are we talking about Weevil?"

"I don't know. Forget it." He was sulking and she wasn't sure why. She racked her brain trying to remember if Weevil and Logan had fought at any time over the last year. It was hard to keep up with Logan's fights. They seemed to be happening with greater frequency. He reached for her hand and held it. "Hey. I'm sorry. It's good that you have people who help you out. I guess I'm just jealous."

"You jealous? Of Weevil?" Veronica laughed in disbelief.

"Yeah. You go to him when you need help. I know you don't trust me yet, and I understand why, but I want you to know you can come to me, too, Veronica. For anything." He looked into her eyes and she took a sip of beer, forcing herself to break his gaze.

* * *

She pulled her hand out of his and faced him. "Hey, now I want to ask something. Do you remember Shelly's party last year?"

_Oh, crap. This is not a good topic of conversation._

He looked down and mumbled, "Yeah."

Now she was playing with her braid. "Did you…stay late?"

He shook his head. "No. I left early with a freshman."

"Do you remember seeing me there?"

"Yeah," he said, taking another drink of Pepsi and looking at the fire.

_I'm going to need a stronger drink if we're going to talk about that night._

"Was I with anyone?"

_Oh God. I can't tell her. I can't._

Raking his hand through his hair, he looked at her. "No, you were kinda wasted, though. I saw you passed out by the pool."

"So you didn't see anyone else near me?"

"No. What's this all about?"

"Nothing. Just forget it." They both turned toward the sound of feminine laughter. Five cheerleaders were making their way down the steps to the fire pit.

_Shit! I just want to be alone with Veronica._

"Hey, Logan," the tall blonde in the middle, dressed as a devil, greeted him.

"Hey," he replied, disinterestedly.

"That's my cue," Veronica said, standing.

"No, Veronica. Stay-" he said, reaching out to hold her by the elbow.

She motioned to the girls. "It's fine, have fun. There's something I have to do. Find me later. Or I'll find you."

_Is she seriously ditching me?_

* * *

About an hour later, Veronica found Logan out by the pool talking to Casey. There was music blasting and groups of scantily-dressed teens were becoming increasingly drunk and uninhibited. Some had ditched their costumes and were swimming in their underwear. There was one naked freshman in the water that everyone was taunting because, apparently, his clothes were stolen.

Logan locked eyes on her as she approached with a scowl on her face. "Hey," he said warmly, "did you get done what you needed to?"

She bit her lip and mumbled, "Not exactly."

In the last hour, Veronica had moved from room to room to room - there were a lot of rooms in the Gant mansion - systematically evaluating every male attendee of Casey's party and finding them all to be lacking. The problem was an issue of attraction; she honestly couldn't imagine kissing any of them. She was counting on there being some guys from other schools at the party, guys who knew nothing about her past or reputation. Nope. They were all Neptune High kids and she pretty much hated most of them.

_How good could a kiss be if I don't think the guy is cute? But what if I'm being too picky? Maybe these guys are hot and I'm just messed up because of…_

"Hi, Veronica." Casey's voice interrupted her contemplations.

"Hey, Case. Nice party."

"Thanks, you're at the top of my list for best costume. Looking fierce."

She smiled at him as Logan frowned. "Thanks. I'm feeling fierce tonight. I like your costume, too."

Casey was dressed as a pilot. "I was under the assumption that girls like guys in uniforms. Based on how many times I've struck out tonight, I'm not sure the hypothesis is true."

"The night is young. And the uniform is working for you. Keep at it." She patted his shoulder and Logan coughed into his drink.

Casey shot Logan a knowing grin. "I'm going to go check on the drinks. See you guys around."

After watching him leave, Logan asked Veronica if she was ready to go home.

_Am I ready to give up the dream yet? Quitters never win, Veronica._

"No, not yet. Want to go sit by the fire again? I'm getting cold."

He wrapped his arm around her for warmth and they walked there companionably. Veronica was relieved to find the space empty and they sat exactly as they had before. Veronica grabbed a blanket and covered herself with it and held it up to Logan in invitation. He pulled it across his lap and they watched the fire for a minute in silence.

"So, what did you have to do that was so important? Something for a case?"

"No. If I tell you, you'll laugh at me."

He looked down at her. "I promise I won't. Tell me."

"I decided that I wasn't going to leave the party tonight without kissing someone. That's all."

Logan turned abruptly and stared at her like she had three heads. "Are you joking right now?"

"Is it so crazy to think that I might kiss someone?" she asked defensively.

"You left me alone for an hour to go find a guy in there," he motioned with his thumb, "to kiss, do I have that right?"

"Yes. Except for the leaving you alone part. I left you with five cheerleaders, one of whom was giving you come-hither eyes."

Annoyed, he asked, "And tell me, Veronica, when you were in there, did you find the perfect kissing partner?"

"No. I- "

She was interrupted by a mostly-naked freshman couple who had been in the pool and were either hoping to warm up by the fire or find a private place to hook up. Veronica was impressed they didn't trip down the steps with the way their lips were glued to each other.

Logan groaned and yanked the blanket off of them, stood, and grabbed her hand. He dragged her behind him through the party, then upstairs to the bedrooms. He'd obviously been to Casey's house before and knew exactly where he was going. Pulling her into an empty guest room, he shut the door and spun her so her back was against it. He put both of his hands flat on the door on either side of her head and leaned down.

"Logan, what are we doing?"

She felt his breath on her cheek as he whispered, "You're so blind."

_Oh God. He's going to kiss me. Move, feet. It was NOT supposed to be Logan._

"What are you talking about-"

He stopped her with his lips. He gave her a few soft kisses, just a few seconds, kissing her upper lip, and then lower lip, then upper lip again, pulling it ever so slightly between his. He broke away to look at her. "This," another gentle kiss but this one slightly longer, "is what I'm talking about."

_Why did I decide it wasn't supposed to be Logan again? Dear God, just look at him._

_Oh, what the hell, you only live once._

She ran her hands across the fire-warmed skin of his _solid-naked-muscled_ chest, then up to the back of his neck, where she pulled his head down to her lips. He moved closer and wrapped his arms around her, moaning as she met him in a wet kiss, tongues mingling and teasing, teeth grazing. They stayed that way for a long time, discovering each other's mouths, learning each other's taste, and scent, and sounds.

_Mmm. Feels… so… good._

As the kisses grew deeper, their bodies became closer until Logan had pushed her flush against the door and she could feel, well, A LOT, happening under his loincloth. She ran her hands down to his chest and felt his heart beating against her right hand, and it felt so intimate, her palm touching his bare skin there, that it made her stomach bottom out.

He slipped his fingers inside the back of her garters and lifted her up by her thighs. As she wrapped her legs around him, he spun her over to sit on the dresser, never breaking the kiss. He nestled himself into the V of her hips and _ohmigod yes_ she could feel him hard through her shorts right _there_ and it felt fan-fucking-tastic. As soon as she tossed her wig aside, his hands were in her hair, gently pulling back to expose her neck. He kissed down her neck, murmuring to her, she couldn't make out everything, but she heard "so long" and "want you."

_Just how long has Logan been thinking about this? And was that her that just moaned like that, all breathy and low?_

* * *

_This is happening and it's about fucking time. Just look at her, all flushed and beautiful and sexy as hell. I'm going to taste every inch of her skin, swallow all of her little sighs and moans, and then I'm going to show her what I think about those thigh holsters._

Logan pushed her against the mirror and moved from kissing her neck to the inch of exposed skin at her waist. He slowly pushed her tank top up inch-by-inch until it covered only her bra, placing kisses all over her ribs and the soft skin of her stomach. She was moaning louder now and grinding into him and -

_Jesus Christ, what is she doing to me?_

He moved down and tasted the skin he'd been dying to all night, the skin he couldn't stop staring at, the three inches of her inner thighs between the bottom of her miniscule shorts and the top of her holsters.

_Fuck! She tastes like candy. Or sugar or something. I just want to… I don't know if she wants to…_

"V'ronica?" He kept kissing her thighs as her hands found his hair and held on.

"Hmm?" she panted.

Lick. Kiss. Nibble. "Doyouwanmetostop?"

"Wha?"

He stood up and pulled her hard against him, grinding into her, causing both to groan loudly. One of his hands cradled the back of her head and the other was squeezing her ass as their hips moved in tandem for a minute.

Catching his breath, he asked her again, "Do you want to stop?"

* * *

His words were registering through the haze of lust and desire. If she didn't stop, she was going to lose her almost-virginity on top of a dresser in one of Casey Gant's two-thousand guest rooms.

_Do I want to stop? God, no. But Logan's been having sex for years with gorgeous, adventurous, voluptuous girls. This can't work._

"Yeah. We should stop."


	13. Day 14

**Day 14**

Veronica slunk into the seat next to Logan five minutes late. He didn't bother looking at her – apparently he'd given up - and though every muscle in her body ached to turn to him, to reach out and touch him, she sat still in her chair and kept her eyes fixed on Ms. James.

"Sorry I'm late," she mumbled.

"That's okay, Veronica, but please try to be on time from now on. Since you missed school on Friday, after we're done here, I'm going to have you stay and work on your weekly letter."

Veronica bent down, pulled an envelope from her bag, and handed it to Ms. James. "I wrote one over the weekend."

Logan, who had been uncharacteristically motionless _\- is he even breathing over there?_ \- up until that minute, started tapping a rhythm on his knee with his thumb. She wanted desperately to grab his hand to stop him but…

"That's great. I'm glad to see you're taking this seriously." After being met with two poker-faced teens, Ms. James cleared her throat.

"Why don't we just chat a little today before I send you to detention? We only have two more weeks to go before this ends. I'd like to get your thoughts on how things are going between you two. Or anything else you'd like to discuss… whatever's on your mind."

_Oh, God. What's on my mind? Let's see. Sexual awakening. Finally knowing what arousal feels like. Logan's arms. Logan's back. Logan's hands. How I'm ever supposed to function normally around him again. The hurt look in his eyes this morning when I walked right by him._

Logan began, "I'd like to commend you, Becky, on a job well done. Veronica and I, well, let's just say we've gotten quite a bit closer since this whole thing started and-"

"It's Ms. James, Logan."

"Right, sorry, Ms. James. Apologies. As I was saying, we've been busy mending fences. Wouldn't you agree, Veronica?"

He cocked his head toward her and quirked an eyebrow. Veronica shot him a warning glance and made some non-committal sound in slight agreement.

"In fact, I think you'd be interested to know that just this weekend, Veronica and I went to a party together and-"

_Oh no. He wouldn't…_

"-she let me taste her-"

_He would!_

"Cookies!" Veronica piped in, flustered.

Logan gave her his smug jackass look. "Yes, that's just what I was going to say. Cookies."

"Snickerdoodles," Veronica added, looking at Ms. James. "It's a Mars family recipe."

"And let me just tell you, they were the best. cookies. ever. Creamy, sweet but not too sweet, melt in your mouth. I couldn't get enough. I _devoured_ them. They're all I've been able to think about all weekend. Unfortunately, we must need more couples counseling because just when I asked for another cookie, she snatched them away. Told me I couldn't have any more. It was a total," and he swiveled his head back to Veronica and said with barely concealed venom, "mind fuck."

"Are you sure we're talking about cookies right now? Or is this about sex? And Logan, watch your language."

Veronica jumped in. "No! It's not about sex. It's totally about cookies. I'm just sayin', they're that good, Ms. James. One taste of my snickerdoodles and-"

"You'll never want another cookie as long as you live." Logan said quietly, still looking at Veronica.

When she heard his voice go all soft, she couldn't resist looking at him and, yep, full schmoop face.

"Veronica, is there a reason that you wouldn't let Logan have another cookie?"

_Could I please just spontaneously burst into flames right now? That would be better than this torment._

"Well, he did have a lot of cookies. And I thought it would be best to save some for other people to enjoy. Maybe someone who never tried a snickerdoodle before."

"That seems fair."

Logan huffed in response.

* * *

Logan sorted through the bin of soccer balls, pulling out the squishiest ones.

"So what is it then? Why did you dodge my calls and texts all weekend? Some stupid part of me just hoped you lost your phone. But when I drove over to see you on Saturday night and saw your car in the lot and you wouldn't answer the door, I figured you changed your mind."

Veronica took a ball and inserted the pump. She busied herself with inflating it.

"What did I do, Veronica?" he asked, almost pleading. "I mean, when I dropped you off on Friday, everything was fine."

_Everything was better than fine. The stars had fucking aligned._

****FLASHBACK – CASEY'S HALLOWEEN PARTY****

"Yeah. We should stop."

She took a deep breath and blinked a few times.

"I know. You're right." He leaned his forehead against hers and brushed his fingers along her cheek. "When I brought you up here, I didn't mean for things to go this far." He gave her a little smile. "Best decision I ever made and, um, best kiss I've ever had."

She looked at him in wondrous disbelief for a second, then, as if she couldn't help herself, her hands grasped his shoulders and pulled him in for another long kiss, only breaking away when they both needed oxygen. He kissed her nose, the side of her neck, her hand, lifted her off the dresser and slowly slid her down the front of him, body parts rubbing deliciously together, until her feet met the floor.

On the mostly silent ride home, they held hands, propped on the minivan's giant middle console. His thumb caressed her fingers absently as she looked out the window.

"Wanna talk about this?" he asked, hopefully, when they reached her apartment.

"I'm kind of in shock."

"In a good way?"

"I guess. Mostly."

He squeezed her hand. "Will you go out with me? On a real date?"

She hesitated and pulled her hand from his. "You sure about that? It's not like I'm typical Logan Echolls date material."

"What do you mean?"

"Oh, you know... vapid, easy…" She looked down and fiddled with her thigh holster.

"Hey. Look at me. I haven't dated anyone since Lilly. Hook ups? Yes. Dated? No. And, trust me, you are the _only one_ I want to go out with. Unless…are you dating someone else?"

"No," she said with a wry laugh. "I'm single."

"Good. So back to my question. Please say yes."

She grinned at him and he couldn't resist stealing a few kisses. Between each one he said, "Say yes," until she was laughing and pushing him back into his space.

"Okay. Yes."

"Oh, thank God," he said, leaning back over and tasting her lips again. The position was awkward with the console in the middle but they made it work. Things escalated quickly and his hand soon found the side of her breast under her tank top while her hand slipped under his loincloth. As she began to caress the skin of his upper thigh, he moaned, low and husky, and she immediately pulled back.

She smiled at him apologetically. "It's late. I should get going."

"Let me walk you up." He pulled the keys out of the ignition and moved to open his door.

She glanced up and saw that the apartment lights were on. "No! That's okay. I mean my dad's probably up there so..."

_So?_

"Oh. Okay." He lifted her hand to his lips and gave it a kiss. "I'll call you tomorrow."

As she was leaving he said, "And Veronica?"

"Yeah?"

"Thanks for the best Halloween I can remember."

She grinned back at him and said, "Me too."

****END FLASHBACK****

"You didn't do anything."

"Veronica. Talk to me."

"I can't."

"Why?"

"Because I can't." She grabbed the next basketball and pumped it up.

"Thanks for clearing that up."

She looked at his chest as she spoke. "What happened with us was a mistake. We're just too different. I'm sorry."

_Like hell it was a mistake._

Dropping his soccer ball into the bin, he walked over and took the basketball out of her hands, placing it back on the rack. He reached out to hold her hand but thought the better of it and pushed both of his hands into his pockets.

"No. It's time for you to listen. You're all I think about. The way you sound, the way you smell, the delightful way you taste. You're so goddamn beautiful I feel like I can't breathe when you look at me. I wasn't alone in that room, I know you felt it, too. But then something happened. You talked yourself out of it. Just tell me why."

She took a step away from him and couldn't meet his eyes. "It's just that you're, well, … _you_. And I'm… _me_. And I can't see us being a good match. Dissimilar backgrounds and all that.

"So it's because I'm an '09er and you're not? It's about money? That's completely fucked up. You know I don't care about that."

"No, it's not about money."

"So, if it's not about money, then what do you mean by dissimilar…wait. This is about sex, isn't it? You think I've been with too many other girls?"

She just looked at him and didn't say a word and he knew he was right.

_I can't say she isn't right. I HAVE been with too many girls._

"What can I say to make it better? That they didn't mean anything to me? Cause they didn't. It's nothing like how I feel about-"

"This is just what I'm talking about, Logan. You can't change your past and I can't change mine."

"What's past _is_ past, though. Or do you make all your dates tell you their sexual histories before deciding whether they're worthy? What's the magic number that's acceptable in your estimation? Are they allowed to have had sex before or will you only date virgins?"

"Stop it. You know that's not fair."

"Do I? What do I know?" he said, gesturing wildly. "Practically nothing about your dating history other than Duncan. I have no idea how many boyfriends you've had in the past year or your number of sexual partners and - guess what - I don't care. It does not matter to me in the least. All I know is that we are on fire together and if you refuse to let yourself find out what that means based on _my_ past, then you're an even bigger control freak than I thought you were."

"Says the guy who dragged me Tarzan style through a party."

"Right. You totally didn't enjoy what happened after we went upstairs. It was all me, is that what you're telling yourself now?"

She looked down and pushed her hair behind her ear. "No. I liked it, too," she said quietly.

He instinctively reached out for her hand again but she didn't notice so he dropped his arm to his side. "So? Can we please-"

"So can we be friends? Forget about the kissing?" she interrupted.

He felt physically ill, like if she wasn't standing a foot away from him, he might've thought she actually gut-punched him. He wanted to grab his stomach and fold in on himself but pride and indignation kept him upright. He thought he should be used to this churning feeling of desperation by now but it didn't make it any easier. Would he ever wise up and stop hoping for good things? Especially things he clearly didn't deserve like Veronica.

And now that he knew what she felt like under his hands and the smoothness of her skin and the way she sighed when he kissed her stomach and the feeling of her small, warm hand on his thigh, he figured it would be damn near unbearable for him to be her friend. That it might just kill him.

"Friends? Yeah. Friends sounds better than mortal enemies," and his voice – _damn it_ – cracked as he said it and she was kind enough to pretend not to notice.

* * *

Veronica had spent all weekend looking through Adam Diehl's email. Truth be told, she also spent quite a lot of time obsessing about Logan but no one ever accused her of not being able to multitask. Several things she discovered about Adam Diehl:

He is desperately in love with Shannon Hastings and she returned the feelings. Romantic emails had been exchanged as far back as over a year ago.

He never deleted any emails. They go back several years to his hire date. Veronica wondered why someone from the IT department didn't show him how to archive.

Shannon Hastings mentioned fear of her husband a few times.

He confused the correct use of 'there' and 'their' somewhat regularly, much to Veronica's annoyance.

_Okay, so maybe he doesn't have the best mastery of homophones but he is hot and totally sweet._

Some of the emails Diehl wrote to his beloved spoke directly to the formerly innocent Veronica and she couldn't help but squee on the inside. The words he wrote were intimate, kind, loving, and showed a depth of emotion she didn't know was possible based on her limited experience with the opposite sex. It was a fascinating look inside a real life love story.

_He sees exactly who she is, flaws and all, and loves her completely._

Other emails, well, they spoke to a different part of Veronica. From the looks of things, Diehl and Hastings had a passionate sex life. Countless messages describing what they wanted to do to each other and what they _had_ done to each other, were sprinkled throughout the romantic ones.

More than once during her email review, her mind strayed to Logan and she wished for the millionth time that things could be different. She knew her own inability to be vulnerable was the biggest problem but she didn't know how to get past it. Especially with him. She hoped it would be possible for her to be in a normal relationship someday but had the sinking feeling that maybe she'd never be normal again.

_If I can't cry, or be honest, or talk about my feelings, or my past with anyone where does that leave me?_

* * *

After saying goodbye to Logan in the parking lot after detention, where they both attempted to fill the hour with stilted small talk and entirely failed at eliminating the tension, she realized she never gave him any update on his case. She was now pretty sure, almost positive, that Diehl had nothing to do with it. She also thought she better step up surveillance on Hastings' husband. Switching the tracker and any additional surveillance definitely fell in the "out of office" category so she felt obligated to let Logan know. Whether or not he would want to join her, she didn't know. Whether or not she wanted him to join her, she also didn't know.

Given her belief in Diehl's innocence, she felt comfortable telling Logan that he was safe to drive the XTerra again. And that should be the end of the case. But she kind of developed warm feelings for Adam Diehl after reading his personal thoughts and, dammit, she really wanted to reunite him with his lady love. Given the nature of what Hastings said about her husband, Veronica had a hunch that she was in hiding in an attempt to protect both her unborn child and boyfriend. Any work to find her after this would be on her own dime and based on the number of times she and her dad ate macaroni and cheese over the last month, they really could use some paying cases.

Veronica went to work at Mars Investigations with a lot on her mind. She decided to wait a day to move the tracker to give Logan time to decide if he wanted to join her.

* * *

**From Logan 9:43 p.m.**

Hey. You there?

**From Veronica 9:44 p.m.**

Yeah. What's up?

**From Logan 9:44 p.m.**

Question 3: If you could go anywhere in the world where would you go?

**From Veronica 9:48 p.m.**

Italy. If I could I'd study abroad there. I want to see everything and eat everything. You?

**From Logan 9:55 p.m.**

Also Italy

**From Veronica 9:56 p.m.**

Why?

**From Logan 9:57 p.m.**

Cause I want to watch you see everything and eat everything

**From Veronica 10:02 p.m.**

You can't steal my answer. You have to choose somewhere else.

**From Logan 10:03 p.m.**

Were you always this bossy?

**From Veronica 10:03 p.m.**

Of course

**From Logan 10:04 p.m.**

Tahiti. My mom took me there when I was 9 for my birthday. Just me and her. I started surfing there. Clearest turquoise water you've ever seen. Heaven on Earth.

**From Veronica 10:05 p.m.**

Now I want to steal your answer

**From Logan 10:05 p.m.**

Anything you want. It's yours. Night, V. Sweet dreams.

**From Veronica 10:06 p.m.**

Night, Lo. Sweet dreams.


	14. Day 15

**Day 15**

Logan lay back on his board and closed his eyes, his hands resting on his stomach and his legs dangling into the water, the waves gently bobbing him away from land. As usual, he was thinking about Veronica. Things were weird now with her. Yesterday in the equipment room, he tried to act as if she hadn't shattered his heart but he assumed she'd seen right through him. They had spent the hour being extra polite to each other. That didn't sit well. He and Veronica were never polite, in any iteration of their relationship.

_"_ _Forget about the kissing," she said. Easier said than done, Veronica. If there's any possible way to forget about the kissing, I would really love to figure it out. Cause remembering the kissing is torture. Agony. Every detail replays in my head and I CAN'T SHUT IT OFF._

Fuck her. _  
_

No, not really. It's not her fault. It's _his_. More like... Fuck his life.

Logan figured his sex life could now effectively be split into "Before Kissing Veronica" and "After Kissing Veronica." "Before Kissing Veronica," it was all about easy sex with Lilly or the many other willing girls who followed. Lilly demanded that he play by her rules. Early on in their relationship, he'd attempted to forge a deeper emotional connection with her but was quickly rebuffed. " _Really, Logan?_ " she'd say. " _We're too young and fabulous to be tied down._ " Then she'd grind her hips into him and whisper something suggestive like, " _Unless you want to tie me to the bed. I'd be okay with that._ " And she'd lean in and kiss him as her hand massaged his cock and he'd completely forget that – no, dammit - it was NOT okay that she refused love him the way he needed. But when his hands were full of Lilly's luscious curves and his mouth was full of Lilly's luscious tongue, he would shut off his mind and let it go. Only when he was wasted and moping would he dwell on Lilly's casual take on love. "But I love you, Lilly," he'd say and she would pat his hand dismissively and say, " _I love you, too, lover._ "

And he'd be left with the certainty that Lilly's definition of love was about a million miles away from his.

After Lilly died, one of his primary grief-coping strategies was to screw as many girls as possible. Sex was supposed to be light and fun; Lilly taught him well. Half the time, he forgot their names. Every time, he was drunk or high. The only real indication that it was still _him_ in the room/car/hot tub/pool/guest house with his girl-of-the-hour was his insistence that they left satisfied. That was a matter of personal pride. No goddamn way would he let it be said that Logan Echolls was a lousy lay. So he spent that last year messing around with a lot of girls and now, because he used meaningless sex in a futile attempt to mend his broken heart, the girl he actually cared about didn't want anything to do with him. Poetic justice, he supposed.

Lilly and Veronica - the differences between them were striking. Lilly was fire. She lit him up and kept him warm as long as he didn't try to get too close. Veronica was ice. With her cool beauty and barbed wit, able to freeze him out with just a look or a few choice words.

"After Kissing Veronica," he didn't think he could go back to screwing any girl who looked his way. Because being with Veronica was a revelation; like a long-missing puzzle piece was just locked into place. The intimacy Lilly denied him, he felt the budding promise of it with Veronica. So he would put on his brave "we're just friends" face and fake it till he fucking made it. There was no way he was going to walk out on her again, even if she was only looking for friendship. He would be the best friend he could be and wallow in abject misery on his own time.

_The first thing I need to do - get us back to normal. No more polite weirdness. Just us being us. And pray daily to whatever deity it is that listens to spoiled rich kids to allow me to get over this crush. But IS it just a crush? It feels like more than that._

Logan felt a hand wrap around his ankle and, with a strong yank, he was pulled into the calm ocean water. He came up sputtering and cursing to be faced with Dick smiling at him from atop his board.

"Dude, you've been a moody, broody little bitch since Halloween. What's your problem? You're missing the best waves."

Logan climbed back onto his board. "Nothing, Dick."

"Is 'nothing' code for Veronica Mars? You tappin' that yet?"

"No. We're just friends."

"You know she's like an uber skank, right? You should hear what she did with the volleyball team. We're talking gang bang situation."

Logan kicked Dick's board. "Get the fuck out of here. Do you honestly believe that shit? You probably made up that rumor yourself."

"No, I made up the one about the swim team and her love of water sports."

"You need to shut the fuck up right now or I'm going to make it so you can't surf again, ever."

"See? This is what I mean. What is up with you? You used to be fun."

"Maybe I don't think it's all that much fun to terrorize innocent girls."

"It's not like I can't see the appeal. She's got that tight little body and that smart little mouth. I bet she's a tiger in the sack, barking orders the whole time. But, dude, it's not worth price of admission. The doctor visits alone-"

Logan jumped off his board and wrestled Dick into the water, shoving him under for a long minute. When Dick surfaced, Logan punched him square on the nose.

"Do NOT talk about Veronica. To anyone. She's off limits. Don't look at her, don't think about her. No one's going to disrespect her anymore."

"Fuck! I think you broke my nose!"

"Guess I won't be seeing you at school then." Logan swam back to the beach, willing himself to calm down before the day even started.

* * *

Veronica stood by an oven in the back of the Foods classroom. She covered her nose and mouth with one hand as she opened the door and peered inside. It was worse than she feared, full of charred black gunk and still smelling of burnt baked goods. Someone's failing this class, she thought. Exploding banana bread did not an "A" make.

_Would it be too much to ask for Neptune High to invest in self-cleaning ovens?_

Logan leaned down behind her. "Eww. Who's cleaning this one? The one over there isn't this bad. Let's flip for it."

"I'll do it, Princess. Wouldn't want you to get a hair out of place with some manual labor."

Logan tried to hide his relief but it was evident. "Really? You will? I'll clean out the fridge, too, so we're even."

"If you want to think that makes us even, go ahead, but the next disgusting job is all yours and who knows…it may involve scrubbing toilets."

Logan made a face. "These hands do not touch things that scrub toilets, Veronica. That is where I draw the line, Ms. James be damned."

Veronica cackled. "You know, I think I'll put an anonymous tip in her idea box, something about the boys' bathrooms being in desperate need of a deep cleaning. See if she takes the bait."

"You do that and I'll forget to clean your phone number off the walls."

Veronica stopped scrubbing and turned back to him. "My phone number is on the walls of the boys' bathroom?"

"No, but it will be if you insist on making me clean toilets," he joked.

"Aw, think of it as a growth exercise. You'll have a lot more appreciation for your domestic staff.

"I appreciate Mrs. Navarro. Even more than my own parents. And now I especially appreciate that she doesn't burn bread in our oven. This smell is giving me a headache." He pulled his t-shirt up over his nose. "I don't know how much more I can take."

_Still a drama queen, I see._

"I'll take your mind off it. I met someone today who can hack into Shannon Hastings' email. She's a student here. Seems really cool."

"Oh. That's good." Behind her, Logan was making faint gagging sounds that she tried to block out.

"You sound thrilled. Maybe you don't understand the significance. There may be a clue in her email as to where she is."

"I think it's awfully naive and romantic of you to assume she's alive. I bet the husband killed her."

Veronica snorted. "Naïve and romantic? Yeah, that's what everyone says about me. But as far as the husband goes, your theory is possible."

"But?"

"But I really hope not. I've been meaning to talk to you about where I'm at with this. She and Diehl had some very loving emails that he never deleted. Also some emails of a more… adult nature."

He immediately hopped up and crossed the kitchenette to stand next to her oven. "Really? I'm all ears."

She pulled her head out of the oven. "Now you perk up. Naturally."

He rolled his eyes and motioned for her to continue.

"They were just so…

_Hot._

"Look, I'm not going into graphic detail for you. If you're that interested, you can come over and read them yourself. Suffice it to say they truly loved each other and the husband is an abusive ass. She alluded to having a plan so I'm hoping that plan involved her having her baby safely away from him."

"Aww, look at you. No matter how badass the exterior, you're still a softie at heart. It's endearing. But if she really loved her boyfriend, she wouldn't have left without him."

"My guess is that she's scared and thought he would be safer away from her for the time being. Cause if the husband finds her, or the two of them together, I can't imagine it'll end well."

"Why do you think he hasn't made a move against Diehl?"

"I don't know. Maybe the police haven't shared the pictures I took with him. My dad refused to give him any information until the case was closed. It could also be that as a person of interest in the case, the police are watching him closely and he can't risk it. Although I seriously doubt the Neptune Sheriff's Department is doing anything they're supposed to be doing. They're probably just waiting for her body to land at their feet."

"So where does that leave us?"

"I need to do a few things. One of those is switch the tracker from Adam Diehl to Michael Hastings. I'll probably start surveilling Hastings at night if I can do it between my other cases. Your part of the case is over since I'm confident Diehl is innocent. You can let your parents know that it's okay to return the minivan and start driving the XTerra again."

"Thank God. I cannot WAIT to get my car back. But… I still want to help with the rest of the case if you'll let me. I kinda feel invested now."

"Oh. Um, yeah. Sure, I guess."

"So when can I come over to read the emails?"

"Never. I was just kidding around."

"Nuh uh. You offered. I'm not turning that down. Sitting side-by-side with you on your bed reading other people's smut? I can't think of a better way to spend an evening."

_Me neither. Reading those hot, hot, hot emails with Logan. Pretending Logan wrote them to me. Pretending Logan wanted to DO to me what was in them. The one about the massage. Mmm, the one about the shower. Stop this before you embarrass yourself._

"God, you're such a guy."

Logan smiled at her. "That's me. All man. So, after school?"

"After school I'm moving the tracker."

" _We're_ moving it. Then tomorrow?"

"Okay. But you'll be staying in my living room looking at my laptop."

"Great. Your dad and I can share the porn in the living room."

"Don't ever use the words 'your dad' and 'porn' in the same sentence if you want to retain the use of all four limbs."

"Honestly I'm going to feel a little weird if he's there. Is he out of town?"

Veronica went back to scrubbing as they talked. "Yeah. Probably for a few days. Got a lead on a skip trace in Texas."

"He leaves you alone _a lot_."

"I've gotten used to it. It's not too bad. Wallace comes over sometimes to keep me company. But most nights I'm working anyway so no one's home."

"You ever planning on introducing me to Wallace?"

_When hell freezes over._

"Wallace sort of hates you based on the whole headlight-bashing incident. I'm thinking it'd be best if you two stayed in separate corners."

"What happens when I start eating lunch with you?"

"Ha ha, right."

"I'm serious. We're friends. Friends eat lunch together."

"Then I guess I'd have to introduce you. But let's just wait on that. I still need to fill him in on the whole couples counseling/detention thing."

_Which is never gonna happen._

"So he doesn't know we've been hanging out after school for weeks?"

"I haven't told anyone. Have you?"

"Nope. Didn't think it was anyone's business but ours."

"Good. Let's keep it that way. Our secret."

* * *

Veronica was sorting through the CDs in Logan's console. They had just retrieved the tracker from Diehl's car, which was parked outside his home, and were driving to the address of Michael Hastings' workplace. Hastings was a CPA with an office about fifteen minutes from Neptune.

"You got anything good in here?"

"Depends. What type of music goes best with detecting?"

"I always opt for smooth jazz."

He snapped his fingers. "Shucks. Fresh out of that."

She popped in Arcade Fire's _Funeral_ and turned it up.

_Of course she chose that one. The one that reminds me of her._

"That's my favorite CD," he said softly.

She started singing along to "Wake Up."

 _Somethin' filled up_  
My heart with nothin',  
Someone told me not to cry.

 _Now that I'm older,_  
My heart's colder,  
And I can see that it's a lie.

Logan turned down the music when the song ended. "Hey. So, um, you sure you're okay with what happened in counseling today?"

** **FLASHBACK** **

"I have to say, I'm very impressed with the way you both have conducted yourselves in these counseling sessions. I thought there may be a lot more animosity to work through. I can see why you were friends, the connection is fairly obvious."

Veronica and Logan both fidgeted then turned their attention back to Ms. James.

"I think it's time to try a simple trust exercise. One that you're probably familiar with, the trust fall. This should be a piece of cake for you two. Who wants to start?"

"I will," Logan said, "but do you really think Veronica can catch me? I'm double her weight."

"Good point. I don't want either of you to get hurt. I'll give Veronica a hand. Normally, I'd have you climb up on a chair to do it but, in your case, we should just let you do it from a standing position on the floor."

Logan got into position and peeked back at Veronica over his shoulder. "Don't miss," he joked. Then he folded his arms across his chest and fell back easily into Veronica's arms, his head resting on her shoulder. Veronica's hands clutched around his chest in a hug. She buckled a little with his weight so Ms. James stepped in to support his back.

"Great. Veronica, it's your turn." Ms. James pulled a chair to the middle of the room. "Hop up here and Logan can catch you."

Veronica walked slowly to the chair, the air getting impossibly thin. She gingerly climbed up and moved her feet back to the edge. _Can't breathe_ , she thought. _Must get air_. She could feel her face getting hot and her palms were beginning to sweat.

"Whenever you're ready, Veronica." Ms. James prodded.

_You can do this. It's easy. Just fall back. He'll catch me._

Her heart was racing and she thought she might pass out from the lack of oxygen. She knew she couldn't go through with it when her legs started to shake. Logan grabbed her hand to steady her as she began to climb down. Ms. James appeared shocked and Veronica couldn't bear to look at Logan before she bolted for the bathroom.

After some deep breaths and splashing cool water on her face, she felt much better. Totally humiliated, but at least blood was getting to her brain. A minute later, she heard Logan knock on the door.

"Veronica? Are you okay?"

"Yeah. I'll be out in a minute."

"No, I'm coming in."

She didn't have time to school her features into someone who didn't look like they'd just suffered a panic attack before he stepped into the bathroom and stood by the door, anxiously looking at her in the mirror.

"What are you doing in here? Can you please just wait-"

"No. I can't. I'm worried. You completely freaked out back there." He moved to stand a foot behind her and watched as she wet her hands and rubbed them on her face. He handed her some paper towels to dry off with.

_Still can't look at him._

"It's nothing. Sorry to worry you. I'm fine now." She dried her face and started for the door and he blocked her path.

"Listen, do you, um, want to talk about it?"

"No. Let's just get to detention."

"Wait." He put his arms around her and pulled her in for a hug. She was stiff at first but allowed herself to relax into him and, finally, she wrapped her arms around his back. He rubbed her back gently as she buried her head in the warmth of his t-shirt. They stood there for a few minutes, holding each other in silence.

When she pulled back, she gave him a tentative smile.

"Thanks for the hug. I needed it."

"Anytime," he grinned at her and carefully pushed her hair back.

"Now let's see what disaster awaits us in Foods." She reached for his hand then remembered the promise she made to herself. No unnecessary touching. It led to thoughts she didn't want to be having. Thoughts of where else she could touch him and how perfect the skin of his bare back felt under her fingertips. She quickly pulled her hand back before he could grasp it.

****END FLASHBACK****

"Yeah. I told you, I'm fine. Totally fine. I promise. Not sure what got into me."

_I know what got into you. My year-long war against you._

"I guess I need to work harder to earn your trust."

She looked over to him. "What? No, that wasn't about you. It was all me."

"It's okay, Veronica. It's only been a few weeks. I know I still have a lot of making up to do."

"Logan, I promise, it had nothing to do with you."

He nodded. "Okay."

"Really, just like that? No more interrogation?"

"Yeah, I believe you."

_I believe that you think it had nothing to do with me. I know better._

"Thanks. Let's talk about something else. Something good."

"How's this - I went surfing this morning before school and the sunrise was amazing. The sky was streaked with orange and the wisps of clouds were pink. I wish I would've had a camera so I could show you."

"You do that a lot now? Get up before dawn?"

He gripped the steering wheel tighter. "Yeah, the last year's been rough. Surfing helps clear my head."

"You must be really good, then. You were getting pretty good the last time I saw you. Before-"

_Before it all went to hell._

"I'm okay. Want me to teach you someday?" he asked hopefully. "It's so peaceful, Veronica. I know you'd love it. I think it's the only thing that's kept me sane."

"That's what ice cream is for."

"But ice cream doesn't give you killer abs like these." He patted his stomach playfully.

"No, but maybe it'll help my boobs grow."

"Your boobs are perfect."

_Wait, did I just say that out loud? Way to go, idiot. You were not supposed to make it weirder._

"Your abs aren't too shabby either." She smiled at him teasingly and he breathed a sigh of relief. God bless her, she let him off the hook.

Logan's phone buzzed with an incoming call. He ignored it but the caller was persistent, calling back several times.

"You need to get that?"

Logan grabbed the phone to see who it was.

Shit! Andie Boyd. She was hot, he had to admit. Blonde, with a killer body since she was a gymnast. He'd seen her at a party on Saturday night after giving up on Veronica. He was well on his way to getting wasted and she was coming onto him pretty heavily. Just to get her to leave him alone, he gave her his number. Maybe he could get over his crush on Veronica by dating her? She seemed sweet and smart. He made the decision to answer it.

"Hi, Andie."

Veronica looked over at him then focused her gaze on the passing scenery.

"No, I'm glad you called."

"Later? Tonight? Listen, can I call you back in a little while? I'm in the middle of something right now."

"Okay, sounds good. Talk to you later."

He hung up and was met with the side of Veronica's head. She refused to look at him.

_Is she upset? She's the one who wanted us to just be friends._

"Hey. Sorry about that. What were we talking about?"

_Oh, right. Your perfect boobs._

"It's fine. Why don't you drop me off at my car and I'll do this myself. Then you and Andie will be free to get together."

_Yeah, she's definitely pissed._

"No, I'd rather be right here with you."

"We should be back soon anyway, it's not that far."

Logan shrugged, unconcerned. "You can look at me, you know."

"No, thanks."

"Veronica?"

"Yeah?"

"Are you upset about Andie?"

"What! No. I'm sure you'll have a _fantastic_ time on your date."

Logan smiled to himself. Answering that call just may have been a smart decision after all.

_That was absolutely jealously. Good, if she's jealous it means I've still got a shot with her._


	15. Day 16

**Day 16**

Veronica walked into journalism with her back straight, chin up, head held high. So what if Logan had a date last night with a super-bendy gymnast and probably had hours of incredible sex in contorted, pretzel-like positions? Who cares? Not her. Nope, definitely not her. Veronica Mars did not have time to fill her head with thoughts of boys. Her fixation on Logan was causing her to lose her edge and it needed to stop. She had much more pressing matters to contend with: missing people to find, Lilly's murder to solve, school, work. All were infinitely more important than a certain brown-haired bad boy with soulful eyes.

She felt those eyes burn a hole into her back as she strutted to an empty computer station. Before she even fully sat down, he was standing next to her.

"Hey." He greeted her with a soft smile, his hands buried in the back pockets of his jeans.

_Damn, he looks cute today. Jeans. Olive green sweater. Nothing orange._

"Hey," she said, curtly.

"Something wrong? I tried to talk to you this morning but you ignored me."

"Oh, I didn't see you."

"Really? Cause it looked to me like you did see me. Huh. My mistake."

Veronica shrugged. "Sorry."

"So are we still on for tonight?" he asked.

"What's tonight?"

"Sexy email review?"

"Why? You need some ideas on how to spice things up with Andie?"

His lips curved up on one side. "My my, Veronica. If I didn't know better, I'd almost say that sounded like," and he bopped her on the nose, "jealousy."

_I don't care if he IS right. He is such a smug, conceited…_

"Keep dreaming."

He crossed his arms in front and mused, "It's curious that you're jealous since I believe I mentioned just a few days ago how much I desperately want to go out with YOU. Then you _tried_ to pretend that you just want to be friends and now here we are."

"Thanks for the recap."

He leaned against the desk. "If there's anything you want to address with me… perhaps admitting to any recent errors in judgement you've made, this a good time. I'm caught up on all my assignments. Got the whole period free."

She went with the chin in hand pose. "Hmm. Can't think of anything. I'm working on the advice column today… if any boys write in asking where to go for manly highlights or ugly orange cargo pants, I'll whistle for ya."

He grinned down at her. "I can also help with questions regarding kissing." He leaned down to her ear and whispered, "You may remember I have a certain skill where that's concerned."

"Wait a second… we _kissed_? I _completely_ forgot all about that."

They held each other's gaze for several long beats and shared matching smirks, each daring the other to look away.

Logan backed away from her. "Denial ain't just a river in Egypt, you know."

* * *

Logan barely contained himself from skipping around the room. He was right... she's totally jealous! Just the thought of him dating someone else was making her crazy. He felt lighter than he had in days. Although once she realized he wasn't dating Andie, she'd probably go back to denying her feelings. Her obvious possessiveness was a total turn-on; much preferable to the denial/avoidance thing she'd been rocking for the last few days. He was about to walk a fine line: letting Veronica assume he was dating Andie but not actually lying to her. He wanted her just jealous enough to force her to admit her feelings.

_But how long can I keep this up?_

An announcement came over the loudspeaker. "Veronica Mars, please report to the guidance office. Veronica Mars to guidance."

* * *

"Veronica, thanks for coming."

"I didn't think I had a choice."

"Nevertheless, I appreciate it. I wanted to talk with you about what happened yesterday and offer my apology. I had no idea you would have any issues with the trust fall. I never want to put you in an uncomfortable position, that's not what these sessions are about. Can you tell me what happened?"

Veronica crossed her arms in a defensive posture. "Ah, I'm not sure. I just couldn't go through with it."

"Was it an issue of falling off the chair? Are you scared of heights?"

"No."

"Have you ever had a panic attack before?"

"No."

"Any bad dreams, nightmares that recur?"

"Nope."

Ms. James sighed. "Veronica, I feel like I've gotten to know you these past few weeks. I know you're extremely independent but anything you say in here will be kept confidential, I promise. I can't force you to talk to me but just know that my door is always open if there's something on your mind. Boys, Lilly, schoolwork, anything at all."

Veronica moved to stand. "Okay. Thanks, I'll see you after school."

"Just so I don't inadvertently put you in that position again, was it the trust part of the exercise that was a problem for you? I can avoid any exercises that require you to trust Logan."

"I guess. That's probably best."

On her walk back to class, she saw Dick in the hall leaving the bathroom with a swollen nose and two black eyes. Upon seeing her, Dick crossed his fingers in front of him as if to ward off evil spirits.

"Dick, what happened to you?"

"Why don't you go ask your boyfriend?"

"I don't have a boyfriend."

"Then give Logan his balls back. He's been PMSing over you since Halloween. If I wanted to hang out with a ragey, mopey, middle-aged man, I'd call Duncan."

"Whatever is going on with you and Logan… it has nothing to do with me," Veronica said, willing it to be true.

He motioned to his t-shirt. It said "Bro's before" and had a picture of some garden hoes beneath the writing. "Learn it, live it, Ronnie. And give Logan the message."

_If Logan punching Dick did have something to do with me, it won't be long before the rumors start flying. So much for keeping us a secret. But there is no "us." Now there's Logan and flexible Andie with her well-developed thigh muscles and bouncy ponytail and ability to do splits._

* * *

After school, Logan and Veronica were once again seated across from each other in Ms. James' office. "Why don't we try another round of word association today? Let's start with the word 'Halloween.' Logan, you can begin."

"Kiss." _Cause, obviously._

"Gladiator," she said, cocking an eyebrow.

He was surprised she didn't immediately change the subject and go with a neutral word.

"Loincloth."

"Thigh."

_Really? You tell me to forget the kissing but you want me to remember your hand on my thigh? You are the queen of mixed messages._

"Holster." _Cause she needed to be reminded of his hands on her. It's only fair._

"Door."

_Hmm. Success. Looks like she was reminded._

"Dresser," he said, challenging her to continue on this path.

_Please let her say "dry hump." Or "grind." I'll even accept "moan." Then things might really get interesting._

"Guest Room."

_Damn. She's taking it down a notch._

"Fire pit."

"Warm."

"Hand."

"Hold," she said, looking at his hands.

_Aww, I want to hold your hand too, Veronica._

"Hug."

"Friend."

"Romantic," he said, trying to get them back on track.

"Naïve."

"Obvious."

"Unequal."

_And this was just going straight to hell. Time to be crystal clear._

"Undeniable," he ventured.

"Imbalanced."

_God. She is so stubborn._

"Attraction."

"Gymnast," she practically sneered.

_What word to use that will neither confirm nor deny any gymnastic activity?_

"Phone call."

"Date."

"Jealous," he said, smugly.

"Delusional," she rolled her eyes at him.

"Confident."

"You can stop now. It's very interesting to observe you both in this exercise, we might need to revisit it. It's as though you're having a private conversation, each word chosen carefully and laden with personal meaning. It's amazing what you can convey with just one word."

* * *

Veronica and Logan were assigned to help the art teacher hang art for the fall art show. They sorted through the students' pieces, trying to determine a logical way to arrange them. Logan finally convinced Veronica that the art should be displayed randomly so that each piece could stand on its own.

Out of the corner of his eye, Logan watched Veronica hanging canvases on the display board by the window, the sunlight streaming behind her, illuminating her hair into a white-gold halo. He was so taken with the image, he couldn't look away, forcing himself to commit every detail to memory.

_She looks like an angel. Glowing and all backlit with sunshine._

Inspired, he took off for the art closet. When he opened the door, he was expecting to find it organized the way he and Veronica left it two weeks ago but was wholly offended by the sight before him. It was as if they had never cleaned it in the first place, everything in total disarray.

_Okay. Seriously. What the FUCK is wrong with these art kids? Do they have no respect for where things are supposed to go? It only takes a minute, no SECONDS, to put the supplies back in the right spot._

He shook himself out of his disgust and grabbed what he came for. He returned to his workstation and covertly made a quick charcoal sketch of Veronica by the window. It was an intimate portrait, her face in three-quarter pose, knowing smile curving up on the side, eyes wide and turned to the artist. When he was satisfied with the result, he posted it on the board, unsigned.

_This is sappy, even for me. Drawing secret sketches of the girl I'm crushing on is more than a little bizarre and stalkerish._

Despite his misgivings, he left it up.

"Hey. What are you doing over there? This art doesn't hang itself, you know."

Logan picked up a watercolor of Dog Beach and hung it next to his portrait of Veronica. "I'm working. Don't rush me."

"I think you're taking this a little too seriously. It's a high school art show, not the MoMA."

"Ever the taskmaster."

"Without me, how would we get anything done during our detentions?"

"Did you ever think that maybe they don't care what we get done? That maybe Ms. James just wants us to spend quality alone time together every day?"

Veronica huffed a breath. "Yeah, Ms. James totally wants us to hook up."

"Maybe she does. Maybe she sees the chemistry."

"Shut up."

"She said as much today, Veronica, if you were reading between the lines."

"Then I guess you should let her know about you and Andie so you can disavow her of her romantic notions."

_God, I love her jealousy._

"But what would I tell her?"

"I don't know. You could cover all the benefits of having a girlfriend who's a gymnast."

"I don't have a girlfriend."

"Fine. Whatever. All the benefits of _dating_ someone who's a gymnast."

"Not sure I know what those benefits are yet but I'll keep you posted."

Veronica sighed and nailed the next piece up a little too roughly.

"Hey! Don't hurt the art."

"This coming from the guy who broke Dick's nose."

"You know about that?"

"The whole school is talking about how you punched him because of something he said about me."

Logan stopped hanging and looked over at her. "Yeah. I did and he deserved it. That's all I'm going to say about it."

She walked over to the side of his display and he stepped forward slightly to block her view of his panel.

_Please don't notice the sketch._

"You know you can't beat up everyone who talks trash about me. That would be a full-time job."

"Just trying to be a good friend."

"Well… you are. So thanks." And she reached out and gave him a little squeeze on the arm.

* * *

Logan drove the minivan over to Veronica's after dinner. The discussion he'd had with his parents about driving the XTerra again didn't go well. Aaron insisted that until he heard otherwise from Keith Mars, Logan would continue to drive the van. When Logan began to protest, Aaron pushed him to the floor and kicked him in the stomach. Luckily, Aaron must have missed his bladder because there was no blood in his urine. In Logan's book, that counted as a win. Anytime he peed blood, a visit to the doctor was inevitable. Nothing upset Aaron more than when Logan required medical attention because of the abuse. Anytime that happened, Aaron would conveniently pack up and leave town for a few weeks.

He couldn't complain, he'd had much, much worse. His abs were a little sore today, especially when getting up from a seated position, but not too bad. He'd feel fine tomorrow.

Based on the way things were shaping up, Logan feared he might be driving a minivan until he turned 18 and could buy his own car. Unless Veronica actually found the woman...

_If anyone can do it, she can._

He was worried about Veronica since the panic attack. Always working. Always alone at night. Logan stopped at Amy's on the way to bring Veronica a pint of her old favorite, Oreo mint. It used to be a no- fail attempt at getting her to smile and he hoped it was still a winner. Also, he was nervous and figured she'd appreciate ice cream more than his treat, a flask full of scotch in his pocket. Of all the strange things he'd done with Veronica over the last month, this was the strangest: hanging out in her apartment for the sole purpose of reading intimate emails between two lovers, one of whom was possibly dead. Super weird. And surprisingly fitting. There was no part of his relationship with Veronica that one could call normal.

* * *

"Will you really not let me come back to your room? You're back there working on something and it's… I don't know, kind of lame for me to sit by myself with your dog in the living room."

Veronica exhaled. "Okay, but don't touch anything."

Logan immediately walked to Veronica's bulletin board, trying to read everything at once. There was case stuff up there mixed with pictures; some of her dad, of Backup, of her with Wallace, lots with Lilly, and a few of the old gang.

_Good. She still has my picture in her room. At least I'm not the only one._

"I like your room. It's… girly." He looked over to her bed in the alcove. It looked fluffy with all of the pillows in the back. He imagined himself spooning with her in her cozy bed.

_This is not helping me get over my crush._

"News flash: I'm a girl. But thanks. You can take the floor or the bed, your call."

Veronica was sitting at her desk reviewing Shannon Hastings' emails. Some genius girl at school had hacked into the account today. Veronica was wearing her determined don't-talk-to-me-I'm-working face so Logan knew he should just shut up and start reading.

It only took about fifteen minutes for him to become completely engrossed in Shannon Hastings and Adam Diehl's emails. _Veronica undersold what was here_. It was pure gold. Completely addictive. Better than any cheesy Nicholas Sparks crap. Sweet, hot. Some so hot he wanted to forward them to his own email for… future reference.

_Holy hell. Veronica read this stuff. Veronica read about the whipped cream and the sex toys and the erotic massage. Did she get turned on? Oh fuck, did she touch herself after reading them? Oh fuuuuck. This was a bad idea. I am in her bed, surrounded by her smell. I need to get up NOW._

"Hey, I'm gonna get a drink. You thirsty?"

She looked up at him quizzically as he pulled his sweater down lower on his hips. "Yeah. Get me a Skist?"

He returned after a few minutes looking flushed. He handed her a drink and gingerly sat back on her bed.

"Thanks. Hey, you feeling okay?"

_Sure. Except for my raging boner that will not go away. Will she notice if I go to the bathroom for a minute? Literally. That's all it's going to take. One minute._

"Um, yeah. So, did you find anything interesting in there?" he motioned to Veronica's computer.

"No, not yet. But there's a lot here. I'll probably be up late tonight."

"Have you checked the tracker on the husband lately?"

She pulled up a screen to show him that Michael Hastings' car was parked at his home. "Yeah, I toggle back to it ever few minutes just to make sure he isn't headed anywhere."

He nodded. "You're really good at this, you know. Detecting."

"I learned from the best." She turned back to her computer and resumed reading and Logan was left with the choice to continue reading in agony, relieve his needs in the bathroom, or just give up and go home to spend the night with his right hand.

_How many times is Veronica going to let me hang out in her room? This may be a one-time occurrence. I can't leave after half an hour just because I can't control my body. Mind over matter, Echolls._

After reading for twenty more minutes, he knew he needed to get out of there. Immediately. He was burning up from the inside and was about two seconds away from pulling Veronica over to the bed and reenacting his favorite emails. Maybe she let him read this stuff to torture him? Why else would a girl who _claimed_ she wanted to just be friends invite him over to read the sexiest emails ever written? His head was swimming with Veronica's scent, a body lotion called Toasted Sugar. He happily noticed the bottle on her dresser during one of his mental cool-down breaks.

_So that's why her skin tastes like candy. Does she put it all over? Everywhere? Oh hell._

Backup began whining at the door.

_Thank God. A reason to leave._

"Hey, I think Backup wants to go out. I'll take him. Where's his leash?"

She looked up at him and blinked a few times, obviously having forgotten that he was even there.

"I'll go with you. I usually take him down to the beach to play for a few minutes every day but haven't gotten around to it yet."

* * *

They sat next to each other in the sand and Veronica threw the ball for Backup. The early-November air was unseasonably warm and, after a few minutes of throwing, Veronica pulled off her heavy black hoodie and was left in a white t-shirt and jeans. Backup came and sat between them as they looked out at the water, the mostly-full moon turning a sliver of black waves into silvery-gold in the distance.

"You've been awfully quiet this evening on my bed. How are you liking the emails?" she smiled at him as she leaned back on her hands to look at him.

Logan chuckled. "Let's just say... they're giving me a head full of ideas."

"You? I doubt you need ideas. You've probably done all of that stuff and more."

Logan looked out at the water. "I don't know what you think you know about me, Veronica, but I actually haven't. It's not just the sex stuff, though. It's… everything. They're real."

"I know what you mean. That's what stuck with me, too… they're really, truly in love. And it seems like they just… belong together."

He looked at her and held her gaze. "Yeah."

_I'm not responsible for my actions if he continues to look at me that way._

She looked down at Backup who had moved to lie at her feet. "Well, I'm sure Andie will appreciate the _ideas,_ anyway."

"I'm sure she would, if I were dating her. But since I'm not, I'm afraid she's out of luck."

_He's not?_

She turned back to face him. "You're not? But the phone call-"

"You only heard one half of the conversation. I called her back after I dropped you off yesterday to let her know that it wouldn't be fair to date her since I'm hung up on someone else," and he bumped her shoulder with his.

Veronica looked down at her toes. "Oh."

"Look, I know you have issues with my past but-"

He stopped talking when Veronica climbed into his lap and led him in a tender kiss as she combed her fingers through his hair. It was the sweetest kind of kiss; soft, unhurried, and familiar. He followed her lead, and his hands held her closely as he lightly stroked her back through her thin t-shirt, his fingers making sporadic contact with the skin of her lower back but that was as far as he took it.

"Mmm. That was nice," she said as she pulled back.

"I agree. Anytime you want to climb into my lap and do that, feel free."

"Duly noted."

She moved to get off of him but he held her by the hips. "Wait. It's just… this feels so good, I don't want you to move. Talk to me. What's going on?"

"I'm not sure. I just wanted to kiss you… so I did."

"Does this mean you've changed your mind? You'll go out with me?"

"Maybe it just means we should kiss when we want to. See where that takes us."

" _Whenever_ we want to? Cause you might be signing yourself up for 24/7 lip duty there, Mars."

She giggled and said, "No. But when we're alone on deserted moonlit beaches, it feels like a pretty perfect time."

He nodded. "I've always been a firm believer in the importance of a proper setting."

"Well…" and she motioned between them, "We're both still here, the moon's still shining, the air's still warm, seems like we shouldn't let this opportunity pass us by…"

He leaned in and kissed her again as they embraced and fell to the sand. They completely lost all track of time, consumed with the gentle kisses and soft touches of each other.

_I never want this night to end._


	16. Day 17

**Day 17**

He was trying not to be too obvious.

He was, quite obviously, failing.

If anyone had bothered to watch him, they'd know without a doubt that something was up with him and Veronica. But the girls were talking about the upcoming 70's dance and the boys were planning a trip to TJ for the weekend, so he was able to spend his lunch period daydreaming and shooting her (not so) secret smiles every two minutes.

Eventually, she gave him a "stop it" look but followed it up with a little head shake and a slight turn of her lips so he knew she wasn't really angry.

The voices of his friends turned to white noise in the background. His mind flashed to Veronica's hair at the beach: the feel of it brushing his neck as the ocean breeze blew it around, soft little strands tickling his skin. How it absolutely refused to stay put behind her ear despite his best efforts at keeping it there.

Dick snapped his fingers in front of Logan's face, rudely interrupting his vivid recollection of the sensation of her breasts pushed up against his chest.

"Yo. Logan. You in there?"

Logan took a bite of pizza. "Sorry. What were you saying?"

Dick rolled his eyes. "I asked if you were in for TJ this weekend."

Logan exhaled. On the one hand, he felt obligated to go to placate Dick after breaking his nose, even if it was a well-deserved beat down. On the other hand…

_There goes my plan. A whole weekend of nothing but me and Veronica and our lips and hands and…_

Reluctantly, he answered, "Yeah, man. Sounds good. I'm in."

"Sweet. Luke, Duncan, and Troy are coming, too. I heard there's gonna be a girls surfing competition in Rosarito on Saturday." Dick looked around to make sure Madison wasn't within hearing distance. "We can go scam on some hot surfer chicks. They're like… my weakness."

Logan grabbed another slice of pizza. "That's what you said about cheerleaders."

"And that's what he said about the girls volleyball team," Luke added.

Duncan chuckled. "And that's what he said about the girls in chorus."

"Dude, are you serious?" Logan shook his head in amused disbelief. "Yeah, those choral uniforms are totally hot. Those vests with the musical notes on them..." Logan flashed Dick the okay sign.

The three boys laughed at Dick, who mumbled "whatever" and went to sit by Madison at the other table.

Logan licked pizza sauce off his finger and addressed the others. "Troy? The new kid I've been hearing about? I heard we're going to have a new '09er in our midst. When's he start?"

"Yeah. He's cool," Duncan said. "My family has known the Vandegraffs for a while. Dad used to work with Mr. Vandegraff and they keep a yacht at the Albacore Club. I guess they finally decided to move here instead of commuting from LA. He starts school on Monday."

"If you say so, DK, it's good enough for me."

* * *

Logan needs to stop looking at me like that. Especially with Duncan sitting right next to him.

Hot makeout in barely-there costumes? Check.

Romatic makeout on moonlit beach? Check.

Logan had unquestionably awakened something in her. Womanly urges? She scoffed at the thought.

But the truth was… as much as he couldn't stop smiling at her, she couldn't stop looking at him. And remembering. So much remembering. Focusing on her schoolwork was becoming impossible. If awards were given for kissing, Logan would win in a landslide. He knew everything she liked, even when she didn't know herself. The thought that he was teaching her about herself, helping her learn about her own body, sent a shiver straight through her.

_And we've only just kissed. The tip of the iceberg._

Bottom line was, she was proud of herself for kissing him. At least for one night, she went with what felt right instead of getting caught up in her insecurities about their mismatched sexual pasts. It was liberating and empowering to let her baggage go and just live in the moment. She knew he was letting her set the pace but she wasn't sure what that pace was going to be just yet. It felt utterly foreign to be so overwhelmed with another person. To think about them constantly.

It left her unsettled.

* * *

Veronica wiped her sweaty brow in the afternoon sun and resumed the dirty work of weeding for the gardening club. Logan was basking in the sun next to her, lounging on the grass, pulling the petals off a daisy. He'd already tried it twice and both times the disappointing outcome was "she likes me not."

"Third time's the charm. She likes me…"

" _She_ doesn't like you when you make _her_ do all the work."

"Oh come on. Don't pretend you don't understand our roles by now. You're the brains of this operation and I'm the beauty. And everyone knows it's the brains who do all the work. Beauty is its own gift to world, no further contribution required."

"Okay Narcissus. But when I'm done with this half of the garden, I'm going to relax and watch while you do the rest."

"Good. I like when you watch me."

She turned her head around to look at him, half smirk in place. "I know. You show off and do something extra-dramatic with your hands."

"Pfft. I do not," he said making jazz hands. "I should also mention I like it very much when you relax. Or when I can _make_ you relax."

_I like it, too. Maybe too much._

She gave him the barest quirk of her lips and then went back to work.

* * *

"What'd you think of counseling today?" she asked, as she pulled an enormous weed and tossed it over her head at him, sprinkling dirt on his grey long-sleeved tee.

He brushed the soil from his shirt and jeans and resumed picking his daisy. "It was the first time I got to touch you all day, so it worked for me."

They'd been asked to perform a variety of tasks as a team with their dominant hands tied behind their backs. They tied a shoe, made a paper airplane, and braided pieces of yarn. Logan had taken every available opportunity to run his fingers lightly over hers when Ms. James wasn't looking. He recalled her breathy, soft gasp when he caressed her wrist. It was like hand foreplay.

"What'd you think?"

"I think she's running out of counseling ideas for us. Braiding yarn? C'mon. That was ridiculous."

"Well _I_ think she's doing just fine. I like when she lets us work together. Your paper airplane-making skills seriously suck, by the way," he nudged her thigh with his foot.

"At least _I_ know how to tie a shoe. The bunny goes around the tree and into the hole. You kept missing the hole."

"Veronica?"

"Yeah?"

"I never, _ever_ miss the hole."

"Tell that to your left hand."

"Trust me, I don't need _any_ hands and I'm more than happy to prove it to you."

_Jesus, I need to think before I speak. I'm offering sex and what if she says yes? Are we ready for that? She won't even agree to go on a date or be seen with me in public._

Veronica didn't look up so he couldn't read her face for clues. Is she disgusted? Turned on? There was an agonizing minute of silence while she weeded.

"My mom used to have a garden," she said, a little wistfully. He instantly recognized the deflection as a signature Veronica Mars defensive measure. Logan sat up and scooted closer to show that she had his full attention. Lianne was a landmine they'd thus far avoided.

"Did you help her with it?" he asked gently, hoping his remorse for dragging Lianne into their verbal sparring rang clear in his voice.

"Sometimes. I remember planting zucchini with her and when it was ripe she made us eat it every day for a month. Zucchini bread, zucchini cake, zucchini fritters, zucchini lasagna. It's surprising the number of foods you can add zucchini to."

He wanted to put his arms around her to show her some small measure of support since she was clearly affected by the Lianne memory but he wasn't sure where they stood. She was skittish today, even after making out with him for over an hour at the beach, and he was struggling to understand why.

He twirled the daisy in his fingers. "That sounds nice. My mom likes to supervise the gardeners in between her vodka tonics."

Veronica regarded him and nodded her head in some sort of united children-of-alcoholics understanding.

_Another reason we belong together._

He picked the last petal off the flower and held up the stem in victory. "Yes! I knew it Mars, third time _was_ the charm. Daisies don't lie. You _like_ me."

She wiped her hands on her jeans, grabbed the stem from him, and put it in her bag. She smiled as she stood above him. "Maybe. You're growing on me."

He felt at peace. Something he hadn't felt since the early days with Lilly. He was content to lie in the sun next to her, breathing the same air, overcome with happiness every time she let him in a little more.

_Oh fuck. Now I know why I thought it was more than a crush. I'm in love with her._

An unwelcome thought popped into head that if she really despised him, the absolute best way to exact revenge would be to let him fall in love with her and then break his heart. He pushed the thought away as soon as he was aware of it, feeling guilty for even thinking it. He wondered for an instant if she'd ever had that same thought about him - if she thought he was capable of that level of cruelty.

"Finished. You're up." She motioned to the other half of the garden. It was an overgrown, weedy jungle. She grabbed the extra-large trash bag and began to pick up the weeds she had tossed into the grass.

He got up to inspect the overrun mess. "Well, well, well, what do we have here?"

Logan was grinning from ear-to-ear with his horticultural discovery. He pointed to the plants in front of him, buried in the overgrowth of the garden. "It seems the gardening club is growing more than just tomatoes."

She peeked over to where he was pointing.

"Isn't that-"

He raised his brows. "Marijuana? Yes, it is. Interesting. Who's the staff liaison for this club?"

"I think it's Mrs. Kearney."

"The hippie teacher with the beanbags?"

"Yeah."

He chuckled, tickled with his discovery. "Well that makes sense. All the times they've done locker searches and all they had to do was take a walk out back to the garden."

Veronica found her camera and began snapping pictures. "I'm going to pitch this to the Navigator. We can do an expose."

"You'll do no such thing. This is my new favorite spot and you're not going to ruin it."

She rolled her eyes and her lips curved upward on the right. "Fine. I like having dirt on people anyway, you never know when it's going to come in handy."

"God, you're hot when you're devious."

And to hell with this not touching her business, he wanted her to remember that she really, really, _really_ liked when he kissed her neck. She made those noises that drove him crazy. Stalking her like prey, he tackled her to the grass. He nuzzled her neck but she pushed him back.

"Stop. I'm all gross and sweaty."

He leaned into her again. "Don't wanna."

"Logan! Stop. Someone might see."

_See? Right there. She doesn't want anything from me other than clandestine mind-blowing makeouts whenever the spirit moves her._

He rolled off of her and sat up. "Who cares if someone sees?"

She leaned up on her elbows. "I thought we agreed to keep things between us?"

He sighed, frustrated, and said, "Yeah, we did."

"So that means no PDA's."

"Whatever you want, Veronica." He got up and went to work on his half of the garden without another word.

* * *

From Logan 6:15 PM:

Running late. Sorry. Be there at 7.

From Veronica 6:16 PM:

C u then.

Logan was annoyed with her, that much she could tell. He'd barely spoken to her at all while he weeded the garden. He was completely unjustified in his anger and she felt no remorse. At the beach, they - or rather, _she_ \- discussed wanting to keep whatever it was between them private. She'd been the topic of way too many rumors over the last year to want to invite more, especially ones that were accurate. And then there was the Duncan problem. She didn't care if Duncan was upset with her because – _honestly,_ _fuck him -_ but she didn't want to come between Logan and Duncan's friendship. Assuming Logan would be on the same page for reasons of his own, she didn't voice her explanations for wanting privacy.

Apparently, he wasn't on her page.

She would find a time to talk it over with him. Someday. If he even still wanted to be with her.

With the extra half-hour she had, she decided to dress to impress for their surveillance of Michael Hastings. She needed to get out of her grass-stained clothes anyway. The night would probably entail some tailing and a boring stakeout. And maybe if she showed a little leg, he'd be inspired to touch her and break the monotony. She changed into a black miniskirt, not too short - because it not like she's desperate - cute green-striped tee, and pink boot socks that stuck up a little over the top edge of her black boots.

Given that she got distracted on the beach by Logan's lips, she didn't get as far in her review of Shannon Hastings' emails as she'd hoped. Thus far, she'd only found one possible lead. Several weeks ago, one of Shannon's friends or relatives, an Erica Thompson, emailed offering support:

_Shannon,_

_Thank you SO MUCH for the tickets. The concert was amazing! Greg says he owes you one, you saved our anniversary. As for your last email, I hope you know you are always welcome to stay with us. It's not like we don't have room. Seriously, come for a visit, okay? We're worried. You've always called the inn your secret escape. Come up and let us pamper you. I'll call you later this week and we can make plans._

_Love and miss you,  
Erica_

With Logan running late, she had time to check her tracker on Hastings. The little dot representing his car blipped slowly across her screen. She sat down and watched him for a few minutes, trying to ascertain his destination.

She had a deja vu moment as her heartrate picked up and panic washed over her. It was under these exact circumstances that she'd rushed to Logan's house when she thought Adam Diehl was going to hurt him. Now, it was her turn to rush to Diehl's house to try to protect him from Hastings.

At 6:45, she flew out the door, taser in hand, and quickly texted Logan: _Hastings on his way to Diehl's. Going to help._

* * *

She gunned it all the way to Diehl's, praying to be the first to arrive. Hastings would likely be facing some late rush-hour traffic coming from his direction so luck was on her side. When she reached the small bungalow, she jumped out of the car and rang the bell.

Diehl had obviously just finished a post-work workout when he answered, bare chested and sweaty in Nike shorts. He looked her over curiously until recognition dawned on his face. "Amber? The intern?"

_Forgot about that! Shoot. He remembers me._

"Ah, actually my name is Veronica. I'm a private detective. And I have reason to believe that you're in danger and need to come with me RIGHT NOW and I will explain everything." She pulled on his hand to get him out the door.

"What? I'm not going anywhere with you. Explain now."

"We don't have time." She kept pulling but he easily tore his arm from her grasp.

He motioned to her hand. "How about explaining that taser you're holding?"

Veronica checked the street for cars. Still nothing. "Uggh. Fine. But you're going to wish you had listened to me. We need to get off the porch. Can I come in?"

"Sure, just hand me the taser."

"I am trying to SAVE your life. I do NOT want to taser you. I think Michael Hastings is on his way here for reasons unknown. Do you have any weapons in the house?"

"No. Don't believe in them. And now I'm completely confused. You're not coming in here with that thing. Give it to me."

She handed over the taser reluctantly and he put it in a drawer by the entryway.

"When you leave, you'll get it back."

"You are REALLY going to regret doing that in about two minutes. At least hold onto it yourself."

"No. I said I don't believe in weapons."

_As the boyfriend of the wife of a man with serious anger management issues, maybe you ought to rethink that position - at least as far as tasers are concerned. Now is not the time for a lecture, though, Veronica._

Veronica turned around, deadbolted the front door, then took off through the house, looking for a back door.

She called over her shoulder. "Go and lock every window and door. Then we can talk."

His house was small, a one bedroom, so it didn't take long for them to meet back in the living room.

"Here's the short explanation. I am a private detective working on finding the whereabouts of Shannon Hastings. I have a tracker on Michael Hastings' car and he is on his way over here as we speak."

He looked at her trying to comprehend everything she'd said. "So you're not an intern?"

She crossed her hands in front of her, willing him to get on her page. "No."

He sat down as the air seemed to deflate out of him. "Oh God. So he must know about us."

There was a loud screeching of brakes outside the house and they both ran to the window to look outside. Sure enough, Michael Hastings was barging up the short front walk. As he pounded on the door, they shared matching looks of terror and moved to stand by an interior wall that led to the bedroom so they weren't visible from any windows.

She whispered to him. "I left my cell in the car. We need to call the police. Where's your phone?"

He pointed to the kitchen. She rolled her eyes. They couldn't make it there without being seen. The front door had clear sidelights on both sides.

He whispered to her, "Maybe he'll go away if we don't-"

The sound of breaking glass interrupted his wish and they both jumped a mile. Veronica could see in a mirror that Hastings had broken the sidelight and was reaching in to unlock to the front door.

She made a run for the phone in the kitchen and told Adam to grab the taser before Hastings made it inside.

Frantically searching for the phone, she was vaguely aware of a scuffle happening by the front door. The phone wasn't in its charger, _goddammit_! Precious seconds passed as she desperately rummaged through the kitchen. She finally found it buried under a pile of mail on the U-shaped countertop. The noise in the entryway stopped and she heard heavy footsteps. _Please don't let Adam Diehl be dead._ Turning her back to the entrance to the kitchen, she ran around to the far side of the U and ducked down to call for help. She quickly dialed 9-1 before it was snatched out of her hands by Hastings. He was a big guy, 6'2", with dark hair beginning to grey that made him look much older than his 35 years. She thought he was reasonably handsome in an ex-athlete, alpha-male kind of way. Terrifying but attractive.

Veronica scrambled to grab it back until she noticed he had an arm around Diehl and a very large, very sharp knife in his hand that was pointed threateningly at Diehl's chest.

"And just who do we have here?" he asked Diehl. "How many girlfriends can one nerdy paper-pusher have?"

Veronica looked to Diehl trying to determine if he successfully retrieved the taser. He shook his head a quick "no" to her unasked question.

"This is my sister, Amber."

_No! Do NOT let him thing we're related._

"And I was just leaving. Nice meeting you," she said in her valley-girl voice as she tried to side-step him.

He released Diehl and moved behind her at the kitchen counter and held the knife to her neck. "If either of you so much as move a muscle, you're both dead," he said, pointing the tip of the knife between them.

A strange sense of calm came over her in that moment. Fear, certainly, but also the knowledge that if she didn't keep her wits about her and compartmentalize the fear, she would likely be carried out of this house as a corpse. She ran through a mental checklist; phone options were out for now. Hastings took the batteries out of the home phone to make sure of that. She didn't know where Adam's cell phone was, a quick scan of the kitchen didn't yield anything. The only remaining options were the taser in the drawer by the front door or one of the kitchen knives in the knife block too far away for her to reach.

Hastings addressed Diehl. "This is how this is going to work. Blondie here is going to get tied to that chair right over there. Then you and I are going to have a little chat about the funny thing that happened at the Neptune Sheriff's Department today. And you can explain the picture I saw of you at a motel with my _wife_. And then I can decide whether your explanation is reasonable or _not_. But first thing's first. Gotta take care of the little sister. I need you to very slowly drag that chair over to me."

He pressed the tip of the knife firmly to Veronica's skin. One more ounce of pressure and he would've drawn blood.

Veronica assessed Diehl. He appeared too terror-stricken to do any type of fighting back. The husband probably had thirty pounds and four inches on him.

"Your sister is hot." He cupped her breast and she squeaked. "Maybe I should make you watch while I fuck her? It'd serve you right for fucking my wife."

Diehl didn't respond.

_Good. Don't say anything to provoke him._

He whispered in her ear, "Lucky for you, Blondie, I'm not a rapist."

_Thank God. At least if I die, I won't have to suffer that beforehand. He may not be a rapist but he is probably a murderer. He killed her. This asshole killed her. Logan was right, I have to face that conclusion now. I didn't want to believe it but this man is clearly unhinged._

As he moved the chair over, some depressing thoughts sprang unwittingly into her head. Her dad would be all alone without her. _Will he start a new life somewhere else? Maybe he'll go find mom._ She hoped so. He didn't deserve to be alone forever. Then she had a pang of regret for her own lost future. She'd never get to go to Stanford. Never get to have sex. Never get to do anything important with her life.

_Screw that. I'm going to figure a way out of this._

* * *

Logan saw the broken glass from the street where he parked behind Veronica's car.

Not wanting to panic prematurely, he crept up to the house and peeked in the broken window. A fight had obviously taken place, a table had been overturned and the floor was covered with remnants of the battle.

He jumped out of sight into the bushes and dialed 9-1-1. He gave the address and asked for the police and an ambulance, just in case. They tried to keep him talking but he hung up, needing to get a better view of what was happening; to see Veronica and make sure she was okay. Just as he finished the call, he heard Hastings' voice threatening to rape her.

He quickly moved around the side of the house to look in the kitchen window and almost had a heart attack when he saw Veronica with the knife to her throat.

He allowed himself exactly three seconds to freak the fuck out.

_No! Not Veronica. Please God, not Veronica. How is this happening again? First Lilly, now this. If she wasn't so fucking impetuous and headstrong… why didn't she wait for me? Damn Keith Mars and his absentee parenting. This is a girl who needs limits, structure, a fucking curfew! She clearly should not be allowed to leave the house unsupervised._

He took two deep breaths and moved purely on impulse.

_I couldn't save Lilly but this asshole is not getting anywhere near Veronica as long as I'm breathing._

He dashed back to enter through the front door. He figured he had the element of surprise on his side. If he could make enough of a distraction, he could taunt Hastings into coming after him and leaving Veronica alone.

The door was slightly ajar; he carefully pushed it open and deftly stepped over the items scattered across the floor. He saw catalogues, a book, some sunscreen. He bent down to pick up a large piece of broken glass to use as a weapon. Problem with that was, one wrong move and he'd end up cutting himself. As he resigned himself to the reality that the piece of glass was his only viable option, his eyes zeroed in on Veronica's taser.

_Thank you God. Thank you thank you thank you._

Picking it up, he crept around to peek into the kitchen. The murdering asshole was having Diehl duct tape Veronica to a chair. Hastings' back was turned to the door and Logan figured this was the best chance he'd have. As quietly as possible, entered the kitchen.

Hastings must have noticed him in his peripheral vision and turned around with the knife in his hand before Logan could reach him.

"Who's this, your brother?" he asked Diehl.

Diehl didn't answer. He just looked at Logan, wide-eyed and horrified. Then Diehl finally noticed the taser behind his back. Logan couldn't bring himself to look at Veronica until this was over. Until she was safe. Otherwise, he might crack and he needed to be strong to get them out of this.

Logan spoke evenly. "This guy a friend of yours, Adam?"

"No, he isn't. And when the police come, he's going to be sorry." Diehl's voice was shaky.

"What police? I grabbed the phone before your idiot sister could make the call," Hastings laughed.

Logan took a step closer and held out his hand. "Yeah, but I called them a few minutes ago and they'll be here in about thirty seconds so why don't you give me that knife before someone gets hurt."

Hastings' face registered shock then resolve.

"If I only have thirty seconds, I better make the most of 'em," he said spinning around toward Diehl and raising the knife. Logan tasered him in the back just as the knife was about to enter Diehl's chest. As Hastings fell, the knife pierced Diehl in the lower abdomen.

Logan immediately jumped on top of Hastings, pinning him to the floor with a knee to his back, tasering him repeatedly anytime he moved.

Luckily, Veronica hadn't been bound tightly and was able to wiggle out of the duct tape on the chair and went to check on Adam. Blood was pouring out of his stomach, making a gruesome red pool on the beige tile floor next to Hastings' body.

* * *

Veronica had never seen so much blood in her life. She'd never been squeamish about it before, but seeing it flow out of this man that she kind of knew was making her light-headed.

She took Adam's hand. "You're going to be okay, help is coming." His face was getting whiter and his head slumped over as he lost consciousness. Bringing her out of her shock, Logan asked her to bind Hastings' wrists and ankles with duct tape.

"You weren't bluffing about the police, right?" she asked as she looped the tape tightly around the man's wrists.

"No, they should be here any minute. Try to hurry up with the ankles. I don't want there to be any possible way this guy walks out of here."

She bound his ankles and kept wrapping even after Logan told her that it was enough. Something inside her wouldn't let her stop, taping the bastard all the way up to his knees. She moved back to his wrists and taped up to his elbows, only putting down the tape and backing away from him when she heard the sirens on the street.

* * *

The florescent lights of the waiting room at Neptune General were always too bright. They need a dimmer switch for nighttime, he thought absently. He hated hospitals. Always had. He'd been a frequent enough visitor to them in his younger years, before his dad figured out how much pain he could inflict without requiring medical care. Aaron's skill at abusing was on a learning curve. He'd been on the flattened out end of it for a few years now, thankfully.

He looked over at Veronica next to him. She seemed weirdly calm given that she was very nearly murdered a few hours before. She'd gone a little crazy with the duct tape but after the cops showed up, she came back to herself. He wasn't okay at all. He wanted to cry like a baby. To wrap her up and hold her all night.

Most of all, he felt relief. Crisis averted. He did it. He unbelievably, actually fucking saved her. That was the most important thing. The _only_ thing, really. Veronica was _alive_ and _well_ and _sitting_ next to him looking cool as a cucumber.

They'd both sat through hours of questioning and statement-giving and it was well past midnight. Keith had been contacted and Lynn had come and gone, fluttering around Logan, then leaving after twenty minutes. Veronica called Wallace to take Backup for the night. She refused to leave the hospital without getting an update on Diehl's surgery and Logan wouldn't leave without Veronica. He encouraged her to sleep on his shoulder but she was too keyed up, just like him. They hadn't really talked about anything yet; there wasn't time with the statements and craziness of the last few hours. Then the mix of exhaustion and anxiety set in and they sat in mutually-agreed upon, peaceful silence.

He reached out to hold her hand and, miraculously, she let him. He felt his lips curve into an involuntary grin. Veronica Mars was willingly holding his hand in public - using the broadest possible interpretation of the word "public." _A deserted waiting room in the middle of the night but, hey, it's a start._

Finally, a doctor came out and spoke to them since Veronica told the nurse that she was Diehl's sister. Eventually, they'd have to come clean about that but they didn't know of any other family members to call at the moment.

Logan zoned out as soon as he heard that Diehl was expected to make a full recovery. He heard the doctor telling Veronica about the procedure, he heard the words large intestine and repair and re-section and a lot of other stuff he didn't want to think about. He just wanted to get the hell out of there.

Next to him, Veronica's small body visibly relaxed with the good news. After thanking the doctor and agreeing to get some sleep, Logan grasped her hand tightly as they walked to their cars.

"I'm driving you over to my place to sleep since your dad's out of town. No discussion. I'll bring you back for your car in the morning."

"I told my dad the same thing I'm telling you, Logan, and that's why he isn't rushing home. I'm fine, really."

"Well, I'm not," he said, pulling her in close and finally, _finally_ , wrapping her up in his arms, melting into her.

_I'm never letting go._


	17. Day 18

**Day 18**

"Hey, sleepyhead."

Veronica was vaguely conscious of the deep voice in her ear. She snuggled into the covers, partially aware of the sunlight outside the window, but didn't open her eyes. She felt a fingertip brush down her arm. Ignoring it, she burrowed her head further into the pillow.

"If you don't wake up soon, I'm going to eat all the waffles," the voice whispered in her ear.

_Waffles?_

She rolled toward the voice, eyes firmly shut. "Whattimeisit?

"It's 9:00."

"Mmm. So tired," she said, rolling back over and curling into a ball on her side, wanting to stay in bed for another twenty years or so.

She fell into a dreamless sleep, eventually waking to the sound of the TV in the other room. Stretching, she gradually opened her eyes and experienced a moment of confusion until she remembered why she was in the bedroom of the Echolls' pool house.

"Oh, right," she said to herself. Looking at the clock, she bolted upright when she saw it was almost 10:30.

_Oh shit. I haven't slept this late in years._

She peeked under the comforter to check what she was wearing - one of Logan's t-shirts and – _thank God_ – her underwear. Her eyes scanned the room for her clothes, finding them in a pile on the floor near the bed. The events of the past night were coming back to her.

_Logan saved my life. He's an honest-to-God hero. Which is great, really. I mean, how could him saving me be anything less than that? And he was amazing at the hospital - supportive, giving me space to process, and then that hug. More of an embrace. Like I was delicate and breakable. To top it off, he brought me back here to sleep like a queen on 800 thread-count sheets while he slept on the uncomfortable couch so I didn't feel any pressure. I haven't thanked him yet. I should do that. But…_

_It's not like I wouldn't have been able to save myself if he'd given me the chance. I was going to get myself out of it. I think. I'm almost positive. But now I'll never know for sure._

* * *

Logan had woken early, the couch was lumpy and he was still pumped up on adrenalin from the night before.

_Being secretly in love with Veronica Mars is not for the faint of heart._

That was his main takeaway from the night he'd just had.

He knew it was time that he and Veronica have a real talk about things. About their past and maybe their future. Lilly. Duncan. All of the questions he'd tabled while trying to rebuild their friendship.

She was holding back, and if there was anything he could say to change that - to get her to agree to be with him - well, he'd never forgive himself if he didn't give it a shot.

He hoped she'd let him stay in her life from here on out, even if they weren't a couple. The thought of that broke his heart a little but she needed someone on her side. That was going to be one of his proposals someday. A partnership – a crime-fighting team.

At the top of his to-do list was to get serious about working out. Start lifting, running, boxing and begin self-defense training. He should probably cut down on the drinking so when she inevitably calls him in the middle of the night, he'll be ready. Weapons was another topic of discussion he wanted to have with her. He'd have to look into getting a gun and learning how to shoot. She can't be dealing with murderers with only a taser.

_I should talk to dad about getting rid of the X-Terra. It won't be good for surveillance. I can't wait to ditch the minivan but a black SUV could work._

* * *

Veronica opened the door to the pool house living room dressed in Logan's grey t-shirt tied at her waist and her black skirt from the night before, hair pulled off her face with a barrette.

She stood by the door watching him for a minute until he looked up. He was sitting on the couch playing a shooting game on his Playstation, freshly showered, coiffed, and gelled. She could smell the slight scent of his clean-smelling aftershave from where she stood.

"Hi."

Putting the controller down, he looked back and smiled at her.

"Hey, sleeping beauty. How do you feel?"

"Like I just had the best night's sleep of my life. Seriously, where do those sheets come from? Are they made by fairies out of baby unicorn hair and pixie dust?"

"Yes, exactly. We keep 'em all locked up in the dungeon churning out sheets."

"I approve of your tactics." She plopped down on the chair nearest him. "Sorry I slept so late."

"It's fine. My mom called the school for us to let them know we needed a day to recover. I tried to wake you up a while ago. The waffles got cold. I'll have Mrs. Navarro make you some fresh ones."

"No, that's okay. I'm gonna head home and get a shower and then over to the hospital. I'll grab some food on the way."

"I have a better idea since your car isn't here. Remember, I drove you back? So what if you shower here while I get you some waffles, you stuff your face silly, then we both go to the hospital?"

"I really need to go home and change. There's, um,…my clothes have blood on them. I would've put my shirt back on but it's in bad shape."

He ran a hand through his hair and stood. "Shit. I should have thought of that. I can find you something to wear. Trina has tons of clothes here, most of them stripper-grade but I'll see if she has something more… you. Go and shower and I'll leave the clothes on the bed. Then you can eat and we can head to the hospital."

He didn't have to twist her arm very hard to agree. She was always a sucker for Mrs. Navarro's waffles. They had tiny pieces of bacon in them, each bite a culinary miracle.

"You're being really nice to me. First you save my life then you feed me waffles. What'd I do to deserve this?"

"Just the perks of being my friend and favorite makeout partner."

"Favorite, huh? What about the others?"

She instantly regretted the vulnerability of that question but the words were already spoken. She hated showing weakness and vowed to work on her air of indifference.

He knelt down before her and took her hands in both of his.

"I don't have time for anyone else. I'm too busy loaning you my lips as needed and making sure you stay alive."

Her eyes sparkled. So much for the air of indifference.

"Aren't you ready to be rid of me yet?"

"Never," he said, kissing her forehead.

* * *

"Hi, Adam. Is it okay if we come in?"

Adam Diehl was lying in his hospital bed looking much better than the last time Veronica saw him, slumped and bleeding on his kitchen floor. He was alert and responsive, although his color was still pasty. She averted her eyes from the bloody bandages on his abdomen.

"Hey. Veronica. Yeah, come in." His voice was scratchy.

The nurse scowled at them. "He needs to rest. Ten minutes max."

Veronica and Logan nodded to her and entered the room.

"How are you feeling?"

"The doctor says I'm going to be fine. But the more I think about it…I don't know…. you know, without Shannon here…I really don't see the point… " He looked embarrassed for admitting this to two virtual strangers. "Sorry. I'm being morbid. Just having a bad day."

He looked to Logan. "I don't think we've officially met?"

Logan cleared his throat. "Oh, sorry. I'm Logan, nice to meet you."

"And you two are?"

"Friends," Veronica said. "It was Logan's house you went to that day about Shannon and talked to him through the intercom. Did you follow him home from the beach?"

"Oh. Yeah. I was driving home from the Boathouse Grille one night and saw the yellow car. It looked like the same one from the that night. There just aren't that many yellow Nissan Pathfinders you come across, y'know. I wasn't trying to be a stalker or anything. You just happened to turn out of the lot two cars in front of me. I convinced myself it was fate. I was just so desperate to talk to you but I talked myself out of it that night, figuring you'd think I was crazy. But I couldn't get it out of my head that if you could just see how much I love her that maybe you'd tell me something you didn't tell the police. I know it's crazy now. It was just another bad day. They've all been bad since-"

Veronica sat down in the chair next to his bed. "We know."

"I wasn't lying. I didn't see where she went after the Camelot. I didn't follow her if that's what you thought," Logan said.

Adam nodded his understanding. "I owe you guys a huge thank you. Without both of you, I wouldn't be here. I still don't understand all the details. Who hired you to find Shannon?"

"That would be me," Logan answered.

His brow wrinkled in confusion. "You know Shannon? This is getting complicated."

"I promise we can talk it all out later and explain everything when we have more time but your nurse is going to make us leave soon and I have a few questions for you," Veronica said.

"Okay."

"Has Shannon ever spoken about a friend or relative of hers named Erica Thompson?"

"No. I don't think so. Why?"

Not wanting to give him false hope when she believed it would be a dead-end, she answered dismissively, "It's not important. Just an email I found of hers. Probably nothing."

"Wait, are you still investigating her disappearance?"

Veronica and Logan shared a look but he stayed silent. "Don't you think it's likely that her husband… that he probably…" Veronica couldn't say the words out loud to this man who had lost so much already and wasn't in the best physical condition for this discussion.

"I don't know. I keep hoping she's out there. I mean, I know it sounds insane and illogical but I just _feel_ that she's out there somewhere, waiting for me. Don't give up on the case, please."

"No, of course not. I won't. I still have one lead to follow."

"Thank you, Veronica. I mean it."

Logan saw the nurse outside the room and asked him, "Is there anyone we can call for you? A relative?"

"Oh, thanks, but my mom and step-dad are on their way down from Fresno. They should be here later today."

"Okay, man. Your nurse is giving us the evil-eye so I think we should go. Veronica?"

"Right." She stood and took hold of Diehl's hand. "I promise I'll be in touch. Focus on getting better."

Veronica snapped a quick photo of him and left with Logan trailing her.

* * *

The Mars Investigations office was hot and stuffy. Veronica opened the windows and sat at her desk, briefly reacquainting herself with the open case files. The message light was blinking rapidly, indicating numerous voicemails from suspicious spouses.

Veronica picked up the phone, leaving Logan to soak in the feel of her office for the first time.

"This isn't what I pictured," he mumbled.

She was writing down something from the voicemail and held up a finger to silence him.

"Sorry, what was that?" she asked, hanging up the phone.

"Just saying not what I pictured."

"And what did you picture?"

"I don't know. Something modern. Lots of glass and chrome."

She laughed at that imagery. "Like a software company?"

"Yeah. I guess. Or like the CIA in movies." He looked around another minute before sitting on the sofa. "Is there something I can do to help?"

"Oh. Well, I was just going to run a quick background check on this Erica person. I have her work email address, it's um…" she looked through her bag for her notebook and pulled it out. Flipping the page, she found it. "It's a place called the Stone Pillar Inn."

Logan whistled appreciatively. "Wow. If that's the same Stone Pillar Inn I've heard about up in Big Sur…it's one of the most exclusive resorts in the country. Books up years in advance."

* * *

"Veronica, the answer is no."

"Oh, come _on_ , I spoke to her. She _knows_ something. But she said she'll only talk face-to-face."

"I'll go up there after I get back tomorrow. I can head up on Sunday."

"Dad, please. I don't want to lose two days. And what if you don't get your man tomorrow? Then you'll be away another day. This is important. I can leave now, stay over and come back tomorrow. I'll probably be home before you tomorrow night."

She waited it out, holding her breath, while her dad was quiet. No matter what he said, she was going but it'd be a heck of a lot easier if he agreed to her plan.

"The _only_ reason I'm saying yes here is because there is a very slight chance I won't be back till Sunday. Miniscule. And I agree that it shouldn't wait if you have a solid lead. But I don't want you going alone," he said, resigned.

"Not a problem. Logan can come with me."

"Logan, huh? And you two are dating now, I presume?"

She glanced over at Logan, feet propped on the couch, pretending to be very interested in his phone. "You presume wrong. Dad, he _saved_ my life. I think you can trust him."

His head snapped up in surprise and his face broke out into a smile, wide and gorgeous and sincere. Then he hopped off the couch with a jaunty spring in his step and went into the hall, phone in hand.

"Don't think I've forgotten that you are due for an incredibly long grounding. You're going to be old and grey when you're allowed out of the apartment again. You defied me and investigated a dangerous case and were almost _killed_ as a result, Veronica. When you get back from Big Sur, you're not going to be doing anything other than school and work."

_No dates in my future, I guess._

"Okay, I understand. I'll check in with you later, after we get there. I love you."

"Love you too, honey."

* * *

When he came back in, she looked over at him and smirked. "Looks like we're going to Big Sur today. That is, if you want to come. I mean you don't have to…" she trailed off and cleared her throat. "Sorry I shouldn't have assumed-"

He crossed the room and sat down on her desk. "Veronica, it's fine. I want to come."

"Are you sure? It's not dangerous or anything. I'm just talking to this lady."

"Yeah, I'm positive."

"Okay," she glanced at the clock. "We can take my car. We should hit the road soon. It's about an eight hour drive."

"We're not driving. When you were talking to your dad, my travel agent booked us a flight to Monterey. We need to hurry, it leaves at 3:00. We should make it up there in time for dinner."

She frowned. "Oh. That's really nice of you, but…I think I should probably drive. I can meet you there if you still want to fly?"

He narrowed his eyes, trying to figure her out. "What? Why?"

"Some of us don't have the money for last-minute plane tickets. Sorry."

"The tickets are non-refundable and I'm paying. Please, don't argue. This will be so much faster and I'm wiped out after yesterday. Consider this partial payment for your time on my case."

She nodded, mulling it over. "Well, when you put it that way, how can I refuse?"

His eyes lit up. "You can't. I better take off and pack. I'll meet you at your place as fast as I can. Pack warm, it's cold up there this time of year."

"Okay. Thank you."

"Yeah. Of course." He started to get up but stopped, sitting back down. "So. Based on that thank you, am I to assume you're grateful for the plane tickets?"

"You going somewhere with this line of questioning?" she asked, with a tilt of her head.

"I was just thinking if you were grateful, you'd probably want to kiss me or something. To show your appreciation and all." He shrugged. "Just thinking out loud…"

Holding in a grin, she got up and stood between his legs, looping her arms around his shoulders and fiddling with the back of his hair. "I am so," _kiss_ , "so," _kiss_ , "so," _longer_ _kiss_ , "grateful." She kissed him again, briefly but deeply, and pulled away.

She whispered in his ear. "I'd show you how much but we've got a plane to catch," and pinched him on the butt.

He groaned in disappointment as she walked to the door, laughing.

* * *

Safely tucked away in her first class seat, Veronica allowed herself a moment of peace as she watched the cloudless blue sky out the window. The stress of the past 24 hours melted away. She opened her fancy snack - artisan crackers and Gouda with fresh fruit and took a few bites. They didn't serve plastic-tasting peanuts in first class, thank you very much.

Logan's hand was heavy and warm on her leg. She smiled at him and he tightened his grasp a bit, thumb idly rubbing her jean-clad knee. He hadn't stopped touching her since their kiss in the office. It was the catalyst she needed to feel comfortable with their growing intimacy. And it was reassuring to know that he wanted a physical connection with her just as much as she wanted one with him.

She regretted exposing him to the dangerous aspects of her life as a PI. He'd already suffered Lilly's death, she could only imagine what flashed through his mind when he saw her with a knife to her throat. Not that she meant anywhere near to him what Lilly had – how could she? – Lilly was his first love. And she and Logan weren't even a couple.

_Something I ought to reconsider given the alarming amount of time I spend imagining him naked._

* * *

"Can I ask you something?"

He nodded for her to continue.

"What were you thinking coming in Diehl's house last night? You should've stayed and waited for the police. He could've hurt you. You might be dead right now."

"What did you think I was going to do? Sit outside the house and watch that asshole slit your throat? Don't you know me better than that? If the roles were reversed, you would've done the same thing."

"Yeah. I guess. I'd be a lot more comfortable if the roles _were_ reversed."

"Why?"

She shrugged. "It offends my inner feminist that I needed you – a guy – to save me. I'm not a damsel in distress."

He snorted. "Of course you're not. You think I don't know that? You're Veronica Mars, badass motherfucker, striking fear in the hearts of those who cross you. You're brilliant and dangerous. And I get what you're saying." He stopped and slid his hand up her leg, finding her hand under her tray. "But here I am thinking that I finally did something worthwhile in my life, something I can be proud of. That this one thing could make up a little bit for treating you the way I did. You know, Veronica, I could save your life 100 times over and we still wouldn't be even."

_The salt lick. I need to tell her. But not here on the plane._

"You need to let that stuff go, Logan. I have."

"No, you haven't. Maybe you're working on the forgive part but I know you - and you do _not_ forget. And I don't want you to. That's part of me - I can be malicious and cruel." He laughed humorlessly. "I'm definitely my father's son." He turned back to face her. "But I want to be better than that now, for you."

"Be better for you, not me."

"Fine, for me, too."

"I still wish I could've saved you."

"You _are_ saving me. Every day we're together."

"Not the same thing."

He leaned over and kissed her softly. "No, it's better."

* * *

The Stone Pillar Inn was straight out of a movie. Veronica surmised that heaven couldn't possibly be much more beautiful. The Inn consisted of a main lodge-type building with individual private guest cabins scattered around the property overlooking the breathtaking Big Sur coastline. The "cabins" were in fact ultra-luxe small homes, perched high on a cliff, each boasting a panoramic view of sea and sky.

Logan was accustomed to this level of luxury but it was still a shock to Veronica that people could vacation in places such as this.

Self-conscious of appearing like the poor girlfriend of the beautiful rich boy next to her, she anxiously adjusted her sweater and wished she had worn a skirt and tights instead of jeans.

"Ready to go in?" Logan asked, holding out his hand to her as they got out of the rental car, a black Range Rover.

"Yeah. Let's go."

"You think this will lead to anything?

"I doubt it. This lady may have evidence against the husband. That must be why she wanted to see me in person. It's hard to imagine a scenario where the psycho husband didn't kill her. Where there's smoke there's fire and this guy was an abuser for years. Violent people like that typically escalate their actions. I don't know why I ever thought she was still alive. It was stupid. You were right all along."

He stopped her on the walkway, putting two hands on her shoulders.

"There's nothing wrong in hoping for a happy ending. It's romantic. I like that there's still a part of you that believes true love can win."

"Sometimes I forget to remind myself that I don't believe in happy endings anymore."

* * *

"Oh my God. He's where?"

Veronica showed the hospital picture of Adam Diehl to a stunned Erica Thompson after the long explanation of who they were and why they were there.

"Oh God. Look at him. He's going to be okay, though, right?"

"Yes, they say he should make a full recovery."

"And what happened to Michael?"

"He's in custody. There'll be a bail hearing on Monday, but it should be denied due to the nature of the charges - attempted first degree murder, false imprisonment, breaking and entering. The evidence is solid and if Adam, Logan, and I testify, it's an airtight case. He's going to prison for a very long time. If there were additional evidence of abuse against Shannon, he'd probably get a life sentence."

"I can't thank you enough for coming all the way up here. If you could wait here for just a minute, there's someone you should meet."

* * *

Half an hour later, Shannon Hastings sat by the fireplace in the lobby with Logan and Veronica, big, happy tears streaming down her face.

"You sure he's going to be okay?"

"Yes. But aren't you going to go back to him? He loves you. Like _a lot_." Logan asked.

She wiped her tears and nodded. "Yes, I'm driving back tonight. I can't wait another minute to see him."

"And if we never showed up here? What would you have done?" Veronica asked.

"I was already talking to an attorney about a restraining order and divorce. I never meant to be away this long. I was planning to go back as soon as my attorney filed for the restraining order but he kept dragging his feet. I was afraid it would be dangerous for Adam if I contacted him. You don't know what Michael's capable of. I didn't put it past him to bug his phone or hack his email."

Veronica and Logan exchanged a glance, both recalling the types of emails the two lovers had exchanged.

"Veronica, do you mind if I talk with Shannon alone for a minute?" Logan asked.

Veronica cocked her head in question and said, "Sure. I guess."

Logan rose and walked outside to the balcony with Shannon. Both were clearly visible through the floor to ceiling glass wall that separated the lobby from the balcony. They talked for a few minutes, Logan doing most of it with Shannon nodding here and there. Then she started crying again and hugged him. He got something out of his wallet and handed it to her, along with some money. They shared another long hug and Shannon kissed him on the cheek. Logan smiled sheepishly and glanced in the window at Veronica, who quickly looked away.

When they came back in, Shannon gave Veronica a hug and thanked her.

"Hold on to this one," she said, pointing to Logan. "He's a keeper."

Veronica looked at Logan, who was obviously embarrassed.

"Yeah. He is," she agreed, without hesitation.

* * *

Veronica was giddy. The sun was setting over the Pacific before her eyes, the vivid colors turning everything a decadent, dreamy pink. Logan was standing behind her, his arms wrapped around her waist, and she leaned her head back against his chest. He bent over and kissed the top of her head. She wanted to pinch herself. She was in the most beautiful place on earth with most beautiful person on earth, having just experienced the type of happy ending she vowed never to believe in.

_Maybe my luck is changing. Life can't really get any better than it is at this very moment._

She looked around at the indescribably luxurious surroundings. She and Logan had been given their own guest house for the night in appreciation for their help. It was completely private, shielded by trees on either side from the other guest homes on the property. It was one of the largest homes with steps leading down to its own infinity hot tub overlooking the cliff.

Even Logan seemed impressed with the place. She turned around to him, putting her hands on his waist and grinned, the warm colors of the sky lighting up his face.

He touched his forehead to hers. "I remember once saying I believed in the importance of a proper setting."

She laughed. "Those were wise words."

He motioned with his hand indicating that she should look around.

"I don't think it gets much better than this."

"I guess I should give you a kiss on par with the beauty of the setting."

They kissed with a passion equal to their first kiss but somehow more sweet and tender. He moved his hands to grip the railing on either side of her, pushing her slightly against the glass. Veronica was overcome with the desire to touch him, to please him, to give him all of her and take all of him in return.

_Tonight is it. I want him. I couldn't have a better (almost) first time than this place with this person. If I die tomorrow, I don't want to regret not sleeping with Logan when I had the chance. No more regrets._

He pulled back, face flushed with desire.

"I can't believe how good it feels to kiss you. It's like…. I don't even have the right words, you know. I've just never felt like this before."

Her eyes filled a little with emotion and they both started talking at once:

-"Yeah. I know what you mean. Logan I want to-"

-"Veronica, there's something-"

"Go ahead," he said.

"No, you first."

He grimaced and took a step back from her, breaking physical contact, pushing his hands in his pockets. Based on his face, whatever he was about to say was going to seriously ruin her night.

_Please don't say anything bad. Please let me have this one night._

"I have something to tell you. The night of Shelly's party, you asked me if I saw anyone near you and I lied. I was next to you at the pool. You were passed out and wasted and a few of the guys, mainly me, organized a salt lick."

"Like what happened to Charlotte Rush at Dick's party that one time?"

He looked at her, guilt-ridden. "Yeah."

"Did anyone touch me? Like take off my clothes?" Her voice had risen to a level she didn't recognize.

"No! I would never let that happen."

"Get real, Logan. It was sexual assault."

"What, the salt lick? I guess you're-"

"Just tell me how it ended. Who was left with me at the end?" she interrupted.

"No one. Only one guy did it before Duncan came over and stopped everything and carried you away."

"So the last person you saw me with was Duncan? Or did you see me later?"

"No, I left right after that. I think Duncan put you to bed in one of the guest rooms. That's where he was headed when I left."

_Duncan? Would he?_

She turned away from him and went inside their perfect, romantic guest house disillusioned and all alone.

* * *

It was out in the open, now, at least. No more guilt to keep him up at night.

He stayed outside on the balcony for a long time, even though he was freezing, wanting to give her space. There was a clear glass wall separating them and he was worried about her so he kept peeking into the room to make sure she was okay. She had crawled into bed with the complimentary bottle of champagne and was nursing it.

Eventually, his teeth started to chatter and his fingers went numb. When he couldn't take the cold any more, he had no choice but to come back into the room. Looking in through the patio, he thought if he ever had his own home, he'd want it to look just like this. Warm woods, modern, cozy, and with as many glass walls as he could have. It really was an astonishingly beautiful place.

_I am such a fuck-up. I can't believe I ruined this, especially here in this perfect place after this perfect day. And I'm the idiot who told her to believe in happy endings._

He opened the door and looked at her, forlorn in the bed, and his heart sank.

_It's over. She's done with me._

His voice shook. "I'm so sorry, Veronica. I wish you knew how much. I was scared as hell to tell you and it's been gnawing away at me. I know you like your space and I'm trying to give it to you but it's really cold out there. I'm going to grab my stuff and go sleep in the car."

She put the bottle of champagne on the nightstand and sniffed. "I'm going to choose not to think of it ever again. Agreed?"

He needed a second for her words to register.

Tears flooded his eyes. "Really? Yeah. Okay."

_Thank you. I love you. I love you so fucking much._

"Stay. As long as you promise there's nothing else you need to tell me. No more lies?"

_Does my alibi even matter anymore? Abel Koontz is in jail forever. And do I really want to bring up Lilly's murder right now?_

"That's everything."

"Okay."

He moved to the bed and sat facing her.

"See what I mean? I could save your life 100 times and we wouldn't be even. I'm sorry. It kills me that I'm capable of doing that. I promise I'll never hurt you again."

She kissed him once in forgiveness, placing her palms flat against his cold cheeks.

"It's okay. I believe you."

* * *

Logan poured them each a glass of champagne while Veronica raided the basket of gourmet food and snatched up the box of chocolate. They'd just enjoyed a room service meal of a salad, filet mignon, potatoes au gratin, and asparagus. The food was amazing and the conversation was easy, both treading lightly to not further complicate the night.

She held the box up to him, taunting. "Just so you know, I'm not planning on sharing this."

"Understood. I'd never presume to steal your chocolate. I value my fingers too much."

He handed her a flute, she downed the champagne in two gulps, and looked at him, running her eyes down his body.

_She's looking at me like she wants to…_

He rubbed the back of his neck. "What's going on? Is it…" He motioned to the patio to indicate his confession.

"No. I told you we aren't discussing that again."

"Yes, ma'am."

She resumed her perusal of his physique, not appearing the least bit bashful about it. Setting the glass down, she took a step closer to him.

"I was just thinking that I haven't properly showed you my appreciation for saving my life."

He swallowed loudly. "Really?"

She took two steps closer, pushing down on his shoulders for him to sit on the side of the bed, nestling herself between his legs.

"Yes, I mean have I thanked you for that?"

"You know, I don't recall you saying those actual words, no."

"Hmm. That's a shame. Because I am really," _kiss_ , "really," _kiss_ , "thankful."

"I like you all appreciative and eager to please," he joked.

She pushed his chest back so he fell on the bed. "Don't push your luck."

"Sorry, please continue with your expressions of gratitude."

"So I was thinking I could do something like this…" She kissed the side of his neck. "Or this…" She lifted up his sweater and placed some soft, wet kisses on his stomach. "Or this…" She looked at him and began to unbuckle his belt but his hands reached out to grasp hers.

* * *

"Those are all extremely excellent ways to show appreciation. Ones that we will revisit later. But first, I think we should do something else. Let's play One Question."

_One question? He doesn't want to have sex with me. Oh God, I'm such an idiot. At least now I have time to go home and study sex tips on the internet. Maybe watch some porn for pointers. He must sense that I have no idea what I'm doing._

"Really? You could have," she motioned to his pants, "and you'd rather sit and play twenty questions?" She tried to keep the insecurity out of her voice.

He sat up. "Not twenty questions. One question. A question for a question."

"Explain."

"I ask you one question, you answer. You ask me one question, I answer. And so on."

"I see."

"You can choose not to answer. And so can I. But this would work better if we'd both just play along. We can ask anything and the only rule is we can't get mad at the question or the answer."

She immediately feared the ramifications of this game. "Do you have any more champagne? Like a whole bottle?"

"Only one drink for each of us, we need to stay sober. But I wouldn't be opposed to playing this game in the hot tub if you brought a suit."

"Of course I brought a suit. I'm from SoCal. I don't go anywhere without a suit."

* * *

They sat next to each other in the bubbly hot tub, Veronica's red bikini ties blowing around and hitting him in the hip every few seconds. It was torturous and he felt like a goddamn fool for turning down whatever she was offering on the bed. A goddamn fucking fool.

She turned slightly, leaning against his shoulder, and slid both of her legs in between his. His hand caressed the smooth skin of her thighs and he was immediately reminded of the sweet taste of her, his mouth watering with the memory.

"It's your game. You can go first," she offered.

He was nervous for suggesting this but he had so many questions. They were mixed up in his head and he'd be lucky to think of half of them. There were a few main ones, though, that he needed to ask. "Just so we can get through this, let's just sort of do this rapid fire."

"Rapid fire?"

"Yeah. Like quick question and answer. No long explanations."

"Okay." She took a big gulp of champagne. "Shoot."

"Are you still in love with Duncan?"

"No. Are you still in love with Lilly?"

"No. Do you know who Lilly was cheating on me with?"

"No, she never told me anything about that. Do you know why Duncan broke up with me?"

"He never told me why. He's a fucking tool. Why are you still investigating Lilly's murder?"

"Because, as previously discussed, I know Abel Koontz didn't do it. Do you think Duncan could've – by mistake – killed Lilly?"

He stopped rubbing her leg for a second. "What? No, no way." He resumed rubbing. "Did you ever go on a date with Leo the cop?"

"No. Someone kept me busy every night so I didn't have any free time. Did you hook up with Andie at the party last Saturday?"

"No. She tried but I wasn't interested. Will you tell me how many guys you've slept with?"

"Pass. How many girls have you slept with? Wait... scratch that, I don't want to know. That makes us even."

He brought a wet hand up to the side of her face and tilted her chin up to look at him. "Why won't you agree to go out with me?"

Her hand found his heartbeat and she rested it there, like she'd done at Casey's party. "I don't want to invite more rumors. I'm tired of them."

"Why do you care what people say?"

"I don't. I don't care what they say. Not really."

He moved his hand to rest on top of hers, threading their fingers on his chest. "So your argument doesn't hold up."

"That's not a question"

"Do you agree that your argument doesn't hold up?"

"I'm coming around to that conclusion, yes. And that was like five questions in a row for you and none for me. Can you dye your highlights back to your original color?"

He sighed exaggeratedly and held in a smile. "Yes, if it matters to you. Do you still sleep with Deputy Dog?"

She giggled. "No, Backup ate him. Is apple still your favorite kind of pie?"

"Yes, always and forever."

"That is inconceivable. You're missing out on the entire lineup of cream pies. Banana, coconut, chocolate. Your turn."

"Have you ever had a sexual fantasy about me?"

"Yes and same question to you."

"I've had more sexual fantasies about you than I can count. Will you describe your fantasy?"

"Not now. Will you?"

"Yes. Someday. Were you really going to give me a blowjob in there?"

"I was thinking I would." She took a sip of champagne and looked away. "Are you not attracted to me that way?"

"I am as attracted to you as I've ever been to another human being. It is impossible to overstate how attracted to you I am. Don't you think we should go slow?"

"No. I'm ready." She straddled his lap and pushed her chest tightly against his. The feelings she was stirring in him were indescribable. His temperature skyrocketed. "I was thinking we should have sex tonight." She captured his lips in a scorching kiss.

_Yes. Right now. We should have sex. We should have sex in the hot tub, the shower, against the windows, and on the bed. We should have sex on the balcony at sunrise. We should have sex in every conceivable position and I should make her come so many times we lose count. Except that we shouldn't yet. Should we?_

He broke the kiss, reluctantly. "Do I look like the type of guy who puts out before the first date?"

"Yes. You look like exactly that type of guy. And I reaffirm that we should have sex," she said leaning in.

"We're not having sex tonight. It's killing me to say it but we're not."

"We're not?"

"No. We're not ready. You're more to me than some quick fuck. I want to wine and dine you, show you how much you mean to me. We'll get there eventually and there aren't any words for how amazing it's going to feel, because it's us, and we're on fire. But I think we should wait a little while. There are lots and lots of other things we can do tonight."

"Like scrabble?"

"Um, no," he said, caressing her back. Fingertips sliding slowly up.

"Reading?"

"Nope," he said, two hands now gliding over the band on her mid-back and moving further up.

"Studying for SATs?"

"Nuh uh," he said finding the strings tied behind her neck.

"Whatever could you mean?"

"Let me show you," he said, kissing her collarbone and pulling slowly, unraveling the knot.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Guys! Guyssss! If I could figure out a way to post my inspiration for the Stone Pillar Inn, I would do it. Google the Post Ranch Inn in Big Sur. Words cannot describe the beauty. It is now my dream destination. I was too scared to look up the price per night. If any of you know of this place or have been there, I'd love to hear about it.


	18. Day 19

**Day 19**

_Mmm. Warm._

Veronica inched back against the heat source, slowly waking up. She opened her eyes and her stomach fluttered as awareness set in. _Big Sur. With Logan._

His arm was draped across her, hand resting gently on her breast, legs tangled up with hers. She reveled in the sensation of being in bed with him, cuddled up in his arms. She tried to memorize everything; Logan's slow, even exhales on the back of her neck, the places where his bare skin touched hers, the soft hair of his legs tickling her smooth ones. It was the first time she'd shared a bed with a guy and it felt incredibly intimate. She couldn't imagine feeling closer to anyone than she did with Logan at that very minute.

_Well, last night was pretty intimate, too._

** **FLASHBACK** **

Logan untied her bikini top and she took a breath, trying to calm her nerves. She reminded herself that most girls her age had been doing this for years and she was made of tougher stuff than to let a little boob action get her ruffled.

_Except they're small-ish. And maybe he likes big-ish._

_Shut up, inner voice!_

She became the picture of confidence she didn't feel, and sat back a little on his lap with a smirk as he pulled her top off and placed it on the deck behind him, never breaking eye contact. He smiled at her, sexy as hell, and leaned up to kiss her collarbone where he left off.

_He doesn't like them. He's not even looking at them or touching them._

_Shut up, inner voice!_

Logan kissed from her collarbone, up her neck and back down the other side, hands moving in a circuit from waist to ribs to back. The path was lengthening as he brought his mouth to hers.

_Yes. Please. Move that hand up a little._

His thumb found the underside of her left breast, barely touching, and his other hand mirrored what he was doing on her right. He was driving her crazy, making her wait for his touch. Her nipples were pebbled and level with the waterline of the hot tub, the bubbling water helping him in his quest to drive her out of her mind. He'd only barely touched her and her body was screaming for him to do more.

She undulated against him twice and he groaned.

_See? That's how I feel._

Her body took over and she started a rhythm against him without even registering a thought. Both of his hands lightly traced the upper curve of her breasts for several long minutes. Eventually, he ran two fingers leisurely down her breastbone, leaning in to place a kiss between her breasts. She bent her head back with a moan and continued writhing on his lap, picking up the pace. His fingers were now drawing patterns all over her the fleshy part of her breasts, and slowly, slowly, nearing her nipple. If desire were a paint color, he'd be finger painting her with it.

"Please," she breathed, looking at him.

"More?" His face was flushed and she thought he'd never looked more beautiful.

She brought her hand to his face, her thumb rubbing the stubble on his jawline. "Touch me."

"Not yet." He quickly flipped them so her head and shoulders were resting against the back edge of hot tub and he kneeled down in the middle, bringing her legs up to wrap around him. Veronica's breasts were completely out of the water now and the air was cold. His teasing game continued as he bent over and used his tongue the same way he'd used his fingers. The cool air mixed with the warmth of his mouth and she thought she might die from the sensation.

"So beautiful, Veronica. You're perfect," he looked up at her and placed one kiss on each breast reverently.

_Okay, I guess he likes them._

She found her tempo against him again as he continued to kiss her breasts. Her breath started coming in pants. "Logan, now," she moved his head to her nipple and he licked around it, long and slow, before pulling it into his mouth, and all the air left her body in a whoosh. His hand slid up to cup her breast, her nipple in the V between his thumb and index finger. He squeezed gently and sucked while rolling the other one between his fingers, drawing it up slightly in time with her hips and – _ohmigod -_ she felt the tingling in her core.

_Yesss like that. Yes yes yes yes yes._

She might have said that out loud, she wasn't even sure and she didn't even care.

After a few minutes of switching back and forth, Veronica making small sounds of pleasure the entire time, he leaned back and looked at her, SEXY AS HELL, and asked, earnestly, "Feel good?"

She grinned at him. "Yeah." And - _take that, Logan_ \- she managed to get it out without sounding breathy.

"Want to feel even better?" he whispered, suddenly shy.

_Is that even possible?_

She couldn't formulate words because his hands were still busy on her breasts, massaging and teasing and obviously on the same nerve network as down below, because things were _happening_ to her. Strange, wonderful, amazing things.

She nodded, not knowing or caring what she just agreed to. He immediately pulled her up to sit on his lap again, and started some string of consciousness mumbling in between kisses as they writhed against each other, making out for all their worth. She felt him, it would've been damn near impossible not to, under his royal blue board shorts. Every now and then he'd buck up hard in just the right spot, causing her vision to flash silver. They moaned loudly in unison when he did that.

She heard most of his mumbles this time including: fucking perfect - so fucking perfect – gorgeous - oh god (a bunch of those) - I'm so hard - you make me so fucking hard, Veronica – always have – I'm gonna make you come.

_He is? I've never…_

She'd been turned on before, of course. Had even tried a few times, _especially_ lately, to get herself off with her hand but it never worked. She assumed it was because of the rape. She had trouble getting aroused; never having had anything remotely arousing happen to her didn't help with that problem.

He spun her so that she was kneeling on the bench, facing out toward the fireplace, away from him. He adjusted her hips so the jet from the hot tub that was at her back was now strategically placed in the, _holy shit_ , ideal location on her front. She doubled over from the pleasure, hands splayed flat on the edge of the tub. He was right behind her, knee propped on the bench, grinding into her ass, his hands on her breasts, applying more pressure on her nipples than before, the exact - _fuck, exact_ \- right amount. She widened her knees a fraction to get to the perfect spot. And…

_Oh god. Oh god. Oh god. Ohhh goddd._

She might have said that out loud, she wasn't even sure and she didn't even care.

She was somewhat conscious of Logan moaning behind her, stiffening and holding her for a second, before she slid down into the water. Logan's arms were immediately around her, bringing her sideways onto his lap, tucking her head under his chin and rubbing her back. She could hear his heartbeat going wild.

Breathing heavy, he threw his head back with an exhale. "Fuuck, Veronica."

_That was good, right? He probably wouldn't say that if it wasn't good._

"Was that okay?" she asked quietly, not knowing how these things typically went. I mean, obviously it was good for her but… for him? She didn't really do anything for him. She didn't know how.

_I shouldn't have asked him that._

His hands found the back of her hair - half wet-half dry - and he pulled lightly on it so she'd look up at him as he bent to kiss her softly.

"That was the single best experience of my life. I told you, we're on fire," he said, hands gently holding her face. Then he tucked her head back under his chin and held her.

****END FLASHBACK****

Veronica shook herself out of the memory and back to reality. She needed to pee and brush her teeth. She really didn't need another shower, having had one before bed last night. On second thought, Logan's mouth had become acquainted with most of her skin in bed last night. Yeah, she needed a shower.

** **FLASHBACK** **

After the hot tub, she and Logan showered separately. She sensed that he wanted to join her but ended up changing his mind and allowed her to go first. The sting of his earlier rejection was still fresh in her mind, although he'd tried to explain himself. She just wasn't sure his explanation made any sense. If he wanted her as much as he claimed, why wouldn't he have sex with her? It's not like he's going to find a more romantic place. And they'd never be back here together.

She rested her head back against the wall of the shower, ruminating, before turning off the water.

_I offered Logan sex and he said no. Logan turned me down. Logan, who sleeps with everyone, doesn't want to have sex with me._

_Shut up, inner voice!_

After her shower, she covered herself in her favorite body lotion – Veronica firmly believed in the power of pleasantly smelling skin – and changed into pj's. She sent a thank you to God and the universe for remembering to pack her favorite sleep shorts and tank. The shorts were light blue and the tank was a darker blue with white lace trim. The tank was low cut in a V, with spaghetti straps and a band of lace running down the sides of the V into her cleavage. Based on the way Logan looked at her as she came out of the bathroom, she guessed he approved. He made a slight groaning sound and went to shower without saying another word to her.

After Logan's shower, he came out in black boxer briefs that left absolutely nothing to the imagination. _Absolutely nothing_. Not able to tear her eyes away, she tracked him from the bathroom to the bed. She took a mental picture of his considerable assets and involuntarily licked her lips. _He can really fill out a pair of boxer briefs._

"If you keep looking at me like that, I'm going to have to ask for a separate room," he said with an eyebrow bob.

"What? A girl's not allowed to ogle?"

"Under normal circumstances, yes, ogle away. But here, right now, I'm having trouble controlling my urges. I mean, just look at you…" he trailed off and whispered "fuck."

He turned back the covers and slipped into bed next to her, head propped on his elbow facing her.

"I don't think I can keep my hands off you if we stay here in bed together. It's like way too much temptation." His hand crept slowly from her knee to the edge of her sleep shorts. He rubbed the thin fabric back and forth between his thumb and index finger. He looked at her, eyes half-lidded, and moved one finger to trace the edge of her spaghetti strap from her shoulder down and along the lace trim by her breast.

Not wanting to offer sex again and risk rejection, she stayed silent.

Logan cupped her face with his hand.

"Here's what I think. I think you should let me kiss every inch of skin not covered by your pj's. You smell so good and it's making me crazy."

She flopped back against the pillow and sighed. "The things I must suffer for you. Go ahead, if you must," she joked.

He was gentler with her in bed than he'd been in the hot tub, spending what felt like an eternity tasting her skin, driving her insane with tenderness. He didn't touch any part of her covered by her clothes but he made her burn for him anyway. When she rolled on top of him to relieve the ache between her legs and bent to kiss his chest, he held her still and tucked her up against his front, spooning.

"Something wrong?" She was tired of feeling like she didn't know what she was doing.

He kissed the back of her neck, nuzzling. "No, I just want to drag out our firsts. Make 'em last."

"So me kissing your chest would be a first you want at a later point?" She ran her fingers up and down his forearm.

"Exactly. It'll keep us looking forward to things."

"Is that why you didn't want to shower with me?"

"Yeah. That and I knew I couldn't behave myself if I was naked in the shower with you. I am a teenage boy, you know. I'm barely holding on having you here next to me."

"I definitely wouldn't call you a boy."

He squeezed her tighter and chuckled. "I'll take that as a compliment," he said stifling a yawn. "I'm sorry, I'm really tired. Can we sleep? I didn't get much last night."

"Yeah, let's sleep."

****END FLASHBACK****

Veronica eased herself out of the bed under Logan's heavy arm. She marveled at the size of his forearm for a second, then grabbed her clothes and went to the bathroom. When she came back, breath minty-fresh and showered, she lifted his arm and snuggled back against him, wiggling her ass to get to the right spot.

He stirred and his hand landed on her leg with a murmured "mmm". She felt him grow hard against her and she wanted to do something for him, to help him get off like he'd helped her in the hot tub. The consequence of not telling Logan about her lack of experience was dawning on her as things progressed physically. He'd soon think she was terrible in bed if she didn't explain herself.

_Both options are humiliating but I'd rather he think me inexperienced than bad at sex._

* * *

Logan rolled to his back and felt a hand on his chest, tickling his chest hair. Then the the softest leg he'd ever felt glided over his right thigh, coming to rest between his legs.

Consciousness set in as her scent registered _._ The words Toasted Sugar popped into his brain.

_Veronica. I'm in bed with Veronica._

Her hand moved down to caress his abs as her leg rubbed seductively against his.

_Holy shit. Veronica. Last night in the hot tub. Here in the bed. Best night of my life. Veronica._

He opened his eyes and smiled at her.

"Mmm. Good morning."

"Morning."

He grabbed her hand and brought it to his lips.

"Sleep well?" he asked.

"Like a baby."

"Me, too. I always like to start the day with a hot blonde in bed with me."

"I aim to please," she said moving her hand lower so it was resting on his upper thigh, almost _right there._ He felt the warmth of her fingers and immediately grew completely hard.

"Hey, um, I think we should get up and get some breakfast," he said, moving her hand to the relative safety of his chest and holding it there.

"I don't think _all_ of you thinks that."

_Oh fuck._

"I know. In fact, only ten percent of me thinks that and you don't even want to know what the other ninety is thinking. But I promised you we would go slow and make our firsts last. I'm trying to do the right thing here."

She pulled back, and rolled away from him, facing the other wall.

He leaned up behind her. "Hey,…what'd I do?"

"Nothing," she said, staring at the wall.

"Tell me what's wrong."

"It's because you don't think I know what I'm doing, right? That's why you don't want to…with me."

_Wait. What? Not know what she's doing? Is she still-_

"No. God, no. What are you talking about? Haven't you ever-"

She wouldn't turn over and he was afraid to touch her. She spoke so quietly he had to lean in to hear her. "I don't have much experience, okay. I don't know what I'm doing with all this. And I hate feeling that way." She threw back the covers and grabbed her bag, heading for the bathroom to change.

He hopped out of bed and went to stop her with his hands on her waist.

"Wait. You mean with sex, right?"

"Isn't it obvious?"

_So she is still a virgin? And I pushed her to do all of that stuff in the hot tub. Fuck, she was practically naked on my lap. I'm such a goddamn idiot. Do NOT say the wrong thing here, jackass._

"No. Not to me. Everything you did was perfect. You don't have to worry about that."

"Easy for you to say, you already know what you're doing."

He scooped her up and carried her to the bed, arranging her on his lap the way he'd done in the hot tub. Vulnerable as she was, he thought she might find it easier to talk to him if she didn't have to look at him. He stroked her hair as he tucked her head under his chin.

"So Duncan never tried anything?"

"No. _I_ tried with him but he barely wanted to do anything other than kiss. He made me feel like I was trying to steal his virtue. I think that's why he broke up with me."

He laughed at that in disbelief. "God, he's such an idiot. I honestly can't imagine any guy in their right mind turning you down."

"You turned me down. Apparently I'm _completely_ resistible."

"Do you honestly think I don't want you? I'm perpetually hard if you're within five feet of me. I'm out of control with lust, like I can't even think straight, can't you see that?"

"All I see is a guy who has slept with _everyone_ who turned me down for sex."

"First of all, I haven't slept with _everyone_. And I've only ever loved one person." _Well, now two_. "The rest have been quick, pointless fucks that meant less than nothing to me. I was using sex and booze to get over Lilly and it didn't work. And a lot of my hookups, we didn't even have sex."

"Like last night?"

"NO! Nothing like last night. More transactional, no emotion. _Nothing_ like last night."

"I'm going to get dressed now."

_I need to say something to make her understand. Something reassuring. I'm losing her._

"Wait. I don't think you get it. I want to make you understand. Last night for me was… well, it was the best night of my life. To be with you, that way. I'm not even sure myself how long I've wanted you. It's been a really long time, Veronica.

"I've always been attracted to you. But with Lilly, when it was good in the beginning, I tried to pretend you were like my kid sister. Innocent and beautiful and untouchable. That worked for a while but you kept creeping into my fantasies. Before Lilly died, I mean. And then, after, when we weren't talking, and you became this darker version of you, you became my go-to. My constant. The one person who could get me off the quickest and the hardest. And, eventually, it became more than sexual. More than just physical attraction. I really don't think it ever was _just_ physical to be honest.

"That's why I want to go slow. I don't know if these decisions you're making are with a clear brain or if you're as consumed with lust as I am. I want you to be sure about us. Cause I want it to be real. A real relationship. With dates. And hand holding. And dances. And sneaking in after curfew. And making out in the back of my car. I want it all with you."

She was quiet for a minute and he feared he revealed too much of himself.

_Fuck. I think I ruined it. I'm scaring her off._

"Logan, will you go out with me? Like on a real date?"

_Oh thank God._

"You sure? I'm not typical Veronica Mars date material," he said, remembering their conversation in his car on Halloween.

"What do you mean?"

"Oh, you know - honorable, decent, asexual."

"Two out of three ain't bad."

He bent down and kissed her on the top of her head.

"There's nothing I want more in the whole wide world than to go out with you. So are we okay? I mean, you're not upset anymore, right?"

"Yeah. We're good. Let's get breakfast."

* * *

Logan pulled his minivan into Veronica's apartment lot and killed the lights. It was late, they'd taken the 7:00 flight home to make the most of their time away. After breakfast, they'd spent the day at the Monterey Bay Aquarium, acting like a montage of teenagers in love. They took pictures and held hands and bought ice cream and stole kisses. It was incredibly sweet.

She looked at him and sighed. "My dad's car is here. He must've got his guy."

"That's good, he probably really missed you."

"I don't know how good it is. He said I'm grounded. Like until I'm 80."

"I'll wait for you. I hope I still have all my hair when you get out."

"Me too. Your hair is one of my favorite things about you."

"I'll invest in Rogaine then, just in case."

"Seriously, I don't know when we're going to see each other."

"Monday, at school I guess. God, that sounds so far away."

"If he doesn't take my phone, I'll text you."

"Okay."

"I guess I should go up."

"Listen, before you go, I just want to make sure of one thing. You don't ever have to worry about your experience with me. I don't expect anything, okay. I just… are you good with everything we've done? I mean, if I would've known I probably wouldn't have taken off your top in the hot tub. I'm sorry about that."

"I am _more_ than good with what we've done. Just because I don't have experience doesn't mean I don't _want_ experience. With me it was more a lack of opportunity than anything else. I'm not a prude. I want to have sex and enjoy it. And I was worried about telling you for just this reason. That you'd treat me differently. Or think about me differently."

He threaded his fingers with hers. "We're going to figure it out together, okay. We're in this together. And I _don't_ think of you differently. I don't want you to stress about anything, you can't do it wrong."

"I wish. I don't want to do something unless I can be the best."

"Of course you don't. And lucky for you, I plan on being an excellent teacher, not that you need one. You _are_ the best. No one has ever made me feel the way you do."

She gave him a long kiss before leaving.

"No one has ever made me feel the way you do, either," she said, kissing his hand.

He put his forehead against hers and ran his thumbs across her cheeks. "Can't it just be Monday already? I don't want you to go."

"Me either. But my dad will probably come down with his gun soon if I don't get up there."

_Okay. God, I love you._

"See you Monday," he said, kissing her forehead before she got out of the car.


	19. Day 21

**Day 21**

Logan's life was finally looking up.

If he had to choose a word to describe how he felt, he'd go with buoyant. Lighter than air. For the first time since Lilly died – actually, long before that - he was genuinely optimistic. Over the weekend, thanks to Veronica, he'd gotten his XTerra back. Also on the plus side of life, no part of his body was currently in pain. It had been nearly two months since he'd had a beating from his dad, not counting the minor kick in the stomach last week. Aaron was still feeling guilty since the last "discipline session" had gotten out of hand after the bong incident. For now, he was playing the role of concerned parent and Logan allowed it. _Anything to keep him off my back_.

And then there was the most important reason for the perma-grin on his face - Veronica.

He'd spent all day Sunday surfing by himself, trying to get his head around what happened in Big Sur. His confession about the salt lick and her surprising absolution. The hot tub. _Fuck_ , _the hot tub_. Veronica's unbelievably, mouth-wateringly gorgeous body. Kissing all of that perfect skin. Holding her all night. Learning that she was still a virgin. She'd been an endearing combination of bold and nervous, tentative and open, sweet and sexy.

 _And she wanted me to be her first. ME._ _And I said no. Oh fuck. Why did I say no?_

There was a battle raging inside of him - head versus heart. And Logan was not typically one to disregard the heart for the head. But the emotional stakes were higher for him than for her, and she could easily crush him if he wasn't careful. He was already in love with her and falling harder every minute. He didn't dare hope she felt the same, especially this early in their relationship. Hell, she'd spent the last year believing he wished she were dead. He choked down the rising bile when he considered that.

The unwavering guilt he felt over his past misdeeds was a constant reminder of the difficulty in their road ahead. He knew the only way for them to work long-term was for her to truly forgive him and for him to forgive himself. But that was a concern for another day.

The most pressing issue at the moment was the absolute joy he felt at the prospect of seeing her in a few more minutes. They hadn't had any contact since Saturday night; Keith must've taken her phone. It was thirty-three hours of anticipation and agony on Logan's end. He was perched on the half-wall outside of school, anxiously waiting for her to pull up.

Dick snuck up behind him and flicked him in the back of the head.

"Dude, why are you smiling like that? Someone who got grounded for the weekend shouldn't be so happy on a Monday."

Logan rubbed his head. "Just high on life. Sorry about TJ. Being grounded sucks ass."

"You missed a _hell_ of a trip to Meh-he-co. Duncan went apeshit and beat some guy to a bloody pulp. They had to call his parents to pick him up. Seeing Celeste south of the border trying to barter with Mexican police was like the best thing _ever_."

Logan narrowed his eyes in question. "Duncan? Fighting? Why?"

"He took a liking to some little blonde mamacita, apparently he has a _type,_ only this one had a boyfriend and Duncan wasn't too thrilled about that. After Duncan left, some other shit went down with Luke and some drug lord. We ended up being strip-searched at gunpoint. Then I hooked up with two surfer babes. They were solid 7's. But I'm giving them an extra point for the twofer. Dude, the whole weekend was _insane_."

Out of the corner of his eye, Logan saw Veronica pulling in and grabbed his backpack.

"Sounds awesome? Listen, I gotta go. Catch me up at lunch, ok?"

"No problemo. See ya."

* * *

Logan approached her car and she walked over to greet him. He stopped and waited for her, not sure whether she still wanted to hide their relationship. In Big Sur, she'd said she was 'coming around' to his way of thinking but never definitively agreed.

She gave him a cute one-sided grin as she approached and he smiled back, relieved that she'd apparently gotten over her desire for privacy. Then she covertly glanced around to see if anyone had noticed them and he figured they were still stuck in the clandestine stage.

"Hey," he said, as she came to stand next to him. Her hair was in his favorite pigtail style. The one that reminded him of when they were younger.

"Hi," she said a little breathlessly.

He grabbed the strap on his backpack in an effort to keep from embracing her. "You look beautiful. God, I really want to kiss you right now."

She looked around again at the kids pouring into school. "This isn't the best place."

"So we're still not telling anyone about this?" He didn't sound upset or accusatory, just resigned.

"Not today. Okay? It's just… we really need to talk more about how this is all going to go." She dropped her keys into her messenger bag and anxiously looked up at him.

"I really don't think anyone's going to care all that much. It's not like they didn't see us at the Halloween party together."

"I just, I mean… what about Duncan?"

_Duncan?!_

He took a few seconds to reply, looking at her incredulously. With clenched fingers and pinked cheeks, he spat out, "Of course. _Now_ I see. That's the real problem, right? We certainly don't want to upset Prince Charming." He shook his head. "I should've known. It isn't gossip that you're worried about. It's _Duncan_. And I am such a fool. See you around, Veronica."

He turned on his heel and left her standing there, mouth agape. She ran to catch up with him and sunk her fingers into his bicep to get him to spin him around.

"No. You don't understand at all. I don't care about Duncan's opinion of me. He's long past deserving of my consideration. But aren't you worried about your friendship?"

At her words, a little of the fight went out of him and his expression softened.

"Not particularly. I can't say he's been a very good friend to me in the last year. He never calls, never wants to hang out. He blows me off all the time. He's living in this little bubble now, not letting anyone in. Out of loyalty, I will let him know, but that's as much as I think I owe him."

"But you said yourself, he's medicated. Maybe it's not his fault that he's not…the way he used to be."

"I know. I get it. But Zombie Duncan reigns. It may not be his fault but it's the way he is now. I don't think there's anything I can do to change it. I've spent a year trying."

She nodded in understanding. "Okay. I guess he's your problem to deal with. I just don't want to come between the two of you. You need each other."

"Who I need is _you_."

"But you were just going to end this entire 'thing' we have over some misunderstanding about Duncan. I thought we were a little more…solid than that." She said quietly, "Maybe I'm the real fool here." She turned away from him but not before he saw her hurt expression.

_Fuck! Can we ever get on the same page?_

They heard the first bell ring and Veronica started walking into school. He caught her in two strides.

"Wait. We're not done talking about this."

She waved him off. "Save it for Ms. James, Logan."

* * *

After second period, Logan's nerves got the better of him and he couldn't wait any longer to smooth things over with Veronica. Her locker was three hallways away at the other end of the building so he jogged there and stopped short when he saw her talking to the new kid, Troy. She was smiling and chatting and being her generally irresistible self so it made perfect sense that Troy leaned into her personal space and was clearly flirting.

_After Big Sur, how could she do this to me? Like it meant nothing. Like it never happened._

He swallowed the lump in his throat as she looked up and noticed him over Troy's shoulder. She quickly said her goodbyes to Troy, ducking under his arm, and went to Logan.

"You don't have a right to look like that," she said.

"No?" he asked. "From what I just saw, I think I do."

She grabbed a fistful of his shirt and pulled him behind her into the nearest girls' bathroom, stopping to slap an Out of Order sign on the door. When they got inside, she made sure it was empty and put the stopper in the door. He was leaning against the wall watching her, expression wounded.

"No, Logan. You do NOT get to do this. You do NOT get to be the victim."

"You sure do work fast. It's only been two periods and you already have a new boyfriend. Ah, but I'm ahead of myself, I never actually _was_ your boyfriend now, was I?"

She shook her head at him in disbelief, her anger rising. "Screw you," she cursed through gritted teeth.

He sneered back. "You tried. Bet you're glad I said no now, aren't you?"

He actually heard a loud screech inside his head.

 _Oh no!_ _Pause, rewind. Rewind!_

The sickening remorse he felt from his poor choice of words was instantaneous and overwhelming. He knew he took it too far. His smart-ass mouth was digging him a hole he might never get out of.

She was visibly hurt, trying valiantly not to cry. "Oh my God. I can't believe you just said that. You're right, I am glad you said no." She took two steps away from him and headed for the door. "It must've been temporary insanity. Why the hell did I ever think I wanted to-"

"I'm sorry," he interrupted, sliding down the wall to block the door with his body and putting his hands on her shoulders, seeking contact. "Veronica, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean it at all. I'm just hurt and jealous."

She spoke to the floor. "I can't believe you'd throw that back at me. _That_ , of all things. I think we really need to just take a break from whatev-"

He was in full panic mode. "No! No breaks. Hear me out. I know I say stupid shit when I get upset. I say things I don't mean, intended to do the most harm. You know I do. Please tell me you know I didn't mean it."

She just shook her head at him again. "What are you even upset about?"

A stray tear leaked from her eye and he wiped it with his thumb. "Duncan. Troy. Any other guy in this lifetime who earns your affections," he said, softly.

"Troy? The new kid? I've said like ten words to him."

"But he obviously wants you. And I can't do _anything_ about it because we're in a 'secret' relationship. And I don't want to pressure you, that's not what this is. I'm okay to wait until you're ready to go public. But God, Veronica, watching some guy flirt with you _kills_ me."

"He wasn't flirting, he was just-"

"He WAS. I have eyes and I'm a guy. I KNOW. Sometimes I worry about you, you don't seem to realize the effect you have on the male population of our planet. Try to be a little more perceptive."

She pushed his hands away. "Stop deflecting. I'm not going to fight with you about some kid I don't even know. That's not why we're here. We're here because I bring up Duncan's name and suddenly you want to break up. I mean, after everything this weekend, I thought we were…and we can't even get through a conversation about him. Like I said, I thought things with us were stronger than that. I'm really rethinking this whole thing. Us."

"God, please don't say that. You don't even know how sorry I am. Duncan's sort of a hot button issue for me. I know I overreacted. I definitely do not want to break up. I just flew off the handle for a minute. Forgive me?" At her look, he pleaded. "Veronica, please?"

"That was just the late bell for third period."

He laughed humorlessly. "Saved by the bell."

She bent and pulled the stopper from the door and left, looking back at him, expression inscrutable.

* * *

Veronica spent the rest of the day deep in thought. She'd already suffered the humiliation of being rejected by Logan in Big Sur and today, he'd made it a million times worse. Mocking her inexperience and naivety, she wanted to crawl back into the sexless hole she'd been living in the past year.

Just yesterday, she thought maybe she was falling in…

Now all she wanted to do was go home, curl up in her bed, and cry for days. _At least he doesn't know about the rape. Thank God for small mercies._

Instead, she was sitting next to him in Ms. James' office, doing her level best to pretend she wasn't mortified and devastated. He was a ball of nervous energy next to her, all tapping toes and bouncing knees.

"Glad to see you both."

"You too, Ms. James." Logan said, respectfully.

_I guess Logan's on his best behavior now._

"I know why you were out on Friday. I think our time today would best be spent discussing what happened last week, with the knife and the police? Logan, your mom talked with Mr. Clemmons about the incident. It sounds like it was terrifying. How are you both doing?"

_Thanks, Mrs. Echolls, for spreading Logan's tale of heroism far and wide. Just what he needs, a bigger ego._

Veronica answered. "I'm doing fine, thanks for asking."

"Veronica, do you want to explain what happened?"

"I was just in the wrong place at the wrong time. I was trying to help a guy who I thought might be in danger, trying to get him away from his house, to go someplace safe. He was having an affair with a married woman and her husband was violent. Anyway, the husband came and held us at knifepoint. Logan saved us but the guy were trying to protect ended up getting stabbed."

"That sounds extremely traumatic. Is this related to your job with your father? He's a private investigator, is that right?"

"Yes."

"And how do you feel about what happened?"

"I feel lucky to be alive, I guess."

"Was there a point during the incident when you feared you would lose your life? Is that something you're comfortable answering?"

Veronica peeked at Logan who was looking at her with concern. "Yes."

"What sorts of things did you think about when you thought you might not make it?"

Veronica coughed. "Well, I thought about my dad, of course. And the things I might never get to do with my life. And that if I made it out alive, I didn't want to have any regrets. I promised myself to live life as fully as possible and try to be more open with certain people." She looked down at her hands in her lap and added, "The people who matter."

"That's a very healthy attitude, Veronica. I'm so sorry that you had to go through that. I know you don't need my opinion but you should know that I think you are a young woman of amazing strength."

_Wow. I got the Rebecca James stamp of approval._

Veronica mumbled her thanks.

"And Logan, what about you? Can you tell me your version of events?"

"I knew where Veronica was headed because she texted me and I knew the particulars of the case so I knew where to go. I was about five or ten minutes behind her and by the time I got to the house, I saw the broken glass by the front door and started to worry. Then I saw Veronica though the window being tied to a chair by some asshole with a knife. I called the police and was able to enter the house and taser the husband but he stabbed the other guy in the stomach as he fell."

"I see. That's an amazing story. It was incredibly brave of you to go into that house. What were you thinking when you saw Veronica through the window?"

"That I wanted to throw up. And that I needed to save her."

"Did you not think the police would be able to do that?"

"No. I mean, I wasn't sure. The man seemed pretty unstable. And I heard him threaten Veronica when I first got to the house. So I just knew I couldn't wait for anyone else. I'd rather die myself trying to save her than to sit by and watch her get hurt."

"Logan. That's courageous and heroic."

"Veronica was braver than me. I just happened to find a taser by the door. That's why this story has a happy ending."

"I think you're both too modest. It's truly unbelievable what you've been through at your ages."

They both nodded their thanks. They were reminded, again, that they were welcome to come in individually or together for any additional counseling.

"Oh, before you leave, did you happen to write letters for last Friday?"

They glanced at each other and pulled sealed envelopes from their bags without a word.

"Thanks. And please bring swimsuits to school tomorrow for detention."

_Swimsuits?_

* * *

"Please talk to me."

Veronica ignored him and continued to pick up trash from under the bleachers. Neptune's football team had won their first big playoff game on Friday and their fans were obviously a bunch of disgusting litterbugs. Veronica busied herself with filling her bag full of used soda bottles, candy wrappers, napkins and plastic nacho containers. At least they had rubber gloves courtesy of the janitorial closet. She drew the line, though, when she found a used condom.

_Go Pirates!_

"I'm a jealous idiot, okay. An asshole. And every other dirty name you want to call me. I know it. But please, I am _dying_ here. Just tell me what it's going to take for you to forgive me."

She threw her garbage bag down and marched over to him.

"You know what it's going to take? Time. Maybe? I don't know. I mean, I'm just…"

"Just what?"

"Embarrassed," she said, exasperated. "Completely and totally embarrassed. I don't think you understand what it took for me to offer you sex. Not only did you turn me down, now you're making fun of me. And I feel like the biggest idiot for suggesting it in the first place."

"Making fun?" he asked, confused. "It was just a dumb comment. I just meant you're probably glad we didn't have sex so you could save yourself for Troy, which I realize is a completely douchey and unwarranted thing to say. You thought I was making fun of you? I'd _never_ make fun of you for that. That's the best offer I've ever received. I'm flattered and honored and tempted. I've thought about having sex with you for years, Veronica. Years! In a hundred different positions and a thousand different scenarios. Do NOT feel like an idiot for suggesting it. I'm the idiot. I should have never turned you down. Talk about regrets. That's the biggest one of my life."

She recalled his comment to Ms. James, saying that he'd be willing to die to save her life and her icy veneer cracked. The truth was, she wanted to make up with him and he was being adorably persistent. "Really?"

"Yeah. Really. And now I'm worried I'll never get the chance to make it up to you. After hearing you talk to Ms. James today, I think I understand where you were coming from this weekend. About not having regrets and living life to the fullest. Carpe diem, right? I get it now. And I'm sorry. Tell me we're going to be okay. I still have a first date to plan."

"Okay."

He blew out a breath and gave her a shaky smile. "Okay. Will you go to the 70's dance with me on Friday or will you still be grounded?"

"I'm not really grounded anymore. Dad and I had a bonding day yesterday. He's just worried about me. But he's a sucker for my face so I got off with a stern warning."

He took off his gloves and then hers and ran a tentative thumb across her jaw. "I'm a sucker for your face, too."

"Are you?" she asked, returning his shaky smile.

"The biggest." He moved slowly to kiss her, making sure she didn't want to back away. When their lips met, she felt the weight of his apology and longing. He kissed her tenderly, like she was fragile, like _they_ were fragile together.

She leaned back after a few minutes. "We should get back to trash duty."

"A few more minutes," he begged, pulling her close and stroking her hair. "It's been almost two whole days since I've kissed you. That's like... a year. And we need to make up properly after our first fight." They proceeded to make up in a cleaned out area under the privacy of the bleachers, shielded from the eyes of the football team practicing on the field.

"Oh, God!" she cried breathlessly, checking her watch. She pushed Logan off and sat up, pulling a paper straw wrapper from her hair.

He picked something off her back. She didn't ask what it was. It was better that she didn't know the exact type of garbage they'd just been rolling around in. "What?"

"It's 4:15. We've been making out for almost an hour. And all this trash is left."

He pulled her to her feet. "I'll get it, don't worry about it. I know you have to go to work."

"Thanks, I've got a million things to do for my dad then Wallace and I are hanging out. I haven't seen much of him lately."

"Okay. Doing any stakeouts this week?"

"Not tonight. Maybe tomorrow."

"Want any company if you do have one?" he asked suggestively.

She raised a brow. "Only if you agree to my rules. One of us has to watch the door the entire time."

"Not a problem," he smirked and by the look he was giving her, she was pretty clear that it would be a problem.

_But who cares? I was born to multitask._

"Company sounds good. But I'm driving. The XTerra is too conspicuous."

"I need to get one thing straight before you go so I don't go crazy. Am I your boyfriend? I mean... is that how you think of me?"

She finger-combed her hair as she thought about his question, the rubber bands from her pigtails had long since been removed and were lost somewhere in the grass. "Do you want to be?"

"More than you can imagine." He fixed her with one of his soul-melting gazes. She was not immune and her knees actually wobbled a little.

"Then, yes, I'd say you are my boyfriend."

"Your secret boyfriend," he clarified.

"Until you talk to Duncan, yes."

"I'll talk to Duncan tonight."

"Deal. Call me after and let me know how it goes. I actually have something I need to talk to him about tomorrow if I can get him alone."

He visibly tensed at her words then took two deep breaths.

"See, I'm not acting jealous at all here and I'm going to wish you well with your private Duncan discussion. Aren't you proud of me?"

"Very," she patted his arm. "But why is he your hot button issue?"

He sighed. "Just that I used to look at you two, shining beacons of innocence and light that you were, and I'd wish I were him sometimes, you know. The guy with the perfect grades from the perfect family with the perfect future. The golden boy with his golden girl. It's kind of a deep-seated jealousy spanning years."

_Really? He was jealous of Duncan?_

She held his hand. "I never knew that. But it's not really relevant anymore, is it?"

"I know. But old habits die hard. And he definitely is one for me. I don't know, maybe it's because I'm hurt that when Lilly died, I basically lost him, too."

She hugged him and spoke into his chest. "I'm sorry you feel abandoned. I know how that goes."

"I don't feel that way anymore. Not now that we're together," he said, stroking her back.

"Good. I don't either."

"See," he said simply. "We need each other."

"I know," she replied, hugging him tighter.


	20. Day 22

**Day 22**

Veronica taped up the "Out of Order" sign and turned to look with alarm at the giant purple bruise blossoming on Logan's jaw. She gingerly touched it and he flinched. "What the hell happened to you?"

"I'll give you one guess."

"Duncan?" she asked, handing him a cold paper towel to place over the bruise.

He waved off the towel and leaned back against the sink. "Bingo."

"Care to share the details?"

"I went to Duncan's last night and he was totally out of it until I mentioned your name."

** **FLASHBACK** **

Logan rang the bell and waited at the Kane's doorstep, shifting his weight. Even though he didn't think it was wrong, exactly, to date Veronica, he reluctantly acknowledged feeling a small pang of disloyalty. Logan valued loyalty above all else so having to talk with Duncan face-to-face made him more nervous than he'd admitted to Veronica. He tried to rationalize his behavior to lessen his guilt: _We're in high school. People date within the same friend-group. It's been over a year since they've dated. The bro-code shouldn't extend past a year. Duncan probably won't even care._

Celeste greeted him in her usual way, eyes roaming over his form distastefully. "Oh, it's you."

"Good evening, Celeste. You're looking especially lovely tonight. Is Duncan home?"

"Duncan's in his room. You may go up for a few minutes. Don't… stay too long. He's resting."

_Resting?_

Duncan's door was open and Logan gave a brief knock. "Hey, man."

Duncan was lying in his bed, watching TV - some old rerun of 90210.

_90210, Donut?_

He looked at Logan and asked monotonously, "Hey. What brings you by?"

"Just thought I'd stop in. Haven't seen you in a while. You weren't in school today. Feelin' okay?" Logan asked, closing the door behind him so Celeste couldn't eavesdrop.

"Yeah. I'm good."

Logan moved to lean against Duncan's dresser and fiddled with the drawer pulls. "So I heard about TJ. Sounds like it was a wild weekend."

Duncan sunk down into the bed, pulling the covers up to his chin. "Oh. Yeah. I'd rather not talk about it. What you heard, it probably isn't the truth. You know how things get blown out of proportion." He turned his attention back to the TV.

"Right. They do. Speaking of not wanting to blow things out of proportion… I have something to tell you." Logan waited for some sort of indication that Duncan had even heard him, but when none was forthcoming, he decided to just spit it out, speaking to the back of Duncan's head. "So, um, I thought you should know…me and Veronica. We're dating now."

Duncan whipped his head around faster than Logan thought humanly possible and proceeded to laugh – high-pitched and maniacally - for a solid minute. Like gasping for air, crazy-ass type of laughing. Then he stumbled out of bed in his wrinkled blue pajamas and stood uncomfortably close to Logan, trying to catch his breath.

He threw a heavy hand on Logan's shoulder. " _My_ Veronica? I couldn't possibly have heard you right. _My_ best friend couldn't possibly have just said that he's dating _my_ girlfriend."

_Okay. He's nuts. Like officially. Order the straightjacket._

Logan took a step to the side but Duncan immediately followed.

"She is NOT your girlfriend, dude. It's been a really fucking long time since she was. You need to think about this, get a handle on reality. I'm worried about you."

Duncan's expression turned from delirious to serious. "I had her first, Logan. Just know that. Whatever you two do together, she'll always have been mine first."

_Well that's an incredibly weird thing to say._

"Yeah. I know. But just cause you 'had' her first, and I'll address your word choice in a minute, doesn't mean shit. I 'have' her now and…. no, you know what? No one 'has' Veronica. She's not a piece of property. She's a person. And for now, she chooses me. And I'm not going to turn that down no matter how upset you are."

Duncan grimaced then threw the first punch, landing squarely on Logan's jaw. There was really no contest between them - Logan had been fighting for years and knew how to defend himself. Duncan might've landed the first punch but not many more. They proceeded to trash Duncan's room, pushing each other into the dresser, walls, and doors. Lamps and picture frames and books went flying. Logan held himself in check and aimed his punches for Duncan's gut, not wanting to leave visible evidence of the fight on Duncan's face. He just wanted Duncan to calm down so they could talk, which clearly wasn't going to happen. Finally, Jake came in to break it up and sent Logan home.

****END FLASHBACK****

"Jeez. He really said that? About him having me first?"

"Yeah."

_Okay. That's super creepy._

"He's not stable, Veronica. You can't talk to him alone today, or maybe ever. And this isn't about jealousy. This is about safety. He might have weapons… God, who knows?"

_If he's that unhinged, what might've he done to Lilly? I need to look into his medical records._

"Okay. We'll figure something out. Is that why you didn't call me last night?"

"Yeah. I, uh, had a few drinks after I got back from Duncan's. I was kind of shaken up, you know. And I ended up falling asleep."

"I was worried."

"I'm sorry. I should've called. I was just trying to calm down. It was crazy. He turns into the Hulk when he talks about you. Like green skin and popping muscles and shrinking shirts. I've never seen anything like it in my life."

_Like a skull-bashing, sister-killing kind of Hulk?_

Veronica wrapped her arms around his waist, trying to pull him from his dark thoughts. "Well, it's over now. You did it."

He brightened a bit and hugged her. "I did. And you know what that means?" He leaned his forehead against hers.

"What?"

"That when we walk out of this bathroom, we're going to be holding hands and maybe, if you're lucky, I'll even carry your books to first period."

She kissed him on the side of his jaw that wasn't black and blue. "My hero."

* * *

"So how's your day been, sunshine?" Logan scooped some chicken lo mein on two plates and handed one to Veronica. They were sitting caddy-corner at one of the empty tables farthest from the '09ers.

"Just fine, honey bunches. Let's see: Meg hugged me, Weevil scowled at me, and Madison called me a whore. I think the exact phrasing she used was 'only a whoring slut like you would sleep with her dead best friend's boyfriend'."

Logan held her hand and kissed it. "I'm sorry. She's such a colossal bitch. I'll talk to her."

"It's not like I wasn't expecting it. How about you?"

"Nothing of interest to report other than feeling like a zoo animal. People circulating and whispering. More than usual, that is. I feel like they should be throwing us peanuts. At least then we'd have something delicious to snack on."

"Hell yes to peanuts. I love a snack that comes packaged by nature. So, no run-ins with Duncan?"

"He's absent today."

Veronica pushed the noodles around on her plate and bit her lip. "Oh."

"You sound disappointed."

"Don't be mad but I am. I really do have to talk to him about something."

"You CAN'T, okay? We just discussed why this morning."

"It's really important, Logan. It's… for a case. I'll let you wait nearby, within yelling distance, and I'll call out if I need you. But I am going to talk to him. Soon."

"I know you well enough to know when I'm on the losing end of an argument. What's the case? Can you tell me?"

"No. I'm still allowed some secrets. Gotta maintain that air of mystery to keep you interested."

He let it go, their fight from yesterday still on his mind. "Where's Wallace today?"

"He's eating with the basketball team." She took a bite of noodles and vocally expressed her approval.

"Because of me?" he asked, narrowing his eyes in question.

"He's just taking some time to adjust to the idea of us is all. Nothing to worry your pretty little head about."

"What'd he say, Veronica?"

** **FLASHBACK** **

Veronica covered herself with a blanket and found a comfortable spot on the couch. Wallace was happily munching away on a giant bowl of popcorn next to her. "This is nice. Just you, me, popcorn, and a movie. Although, did you have to go with Jackie Chan?"

"Hey. My turn, my pick. 'Sides _Rush Hour_ is a classic. I can't believe you've never seen it. Jackie Chan and Chris Tucker. Comedic gold, baby."

"If you say so. Before you start the movie, I need to tell you something."

"Uh oh. Those words coming from your lips are never good."

"I beg to differ. This time, I do have good news. Wait for it: I... have... a... boyfriend."

Wallace made a show of cleaning out his ears. "What did you say? It sounded like you said you had a boyfriend. Which can't be right because it would mean that you spoke to someone of the opposite sex that wasn't me in a non-threatening way. It _also_ means that you actually _socialized_ with said person."

Veronica laughed. "I'll make a detective of you yet, Wallace Fennel."

"So who's the lucky guy?"

"The lucky fella is," Veronica dropped her voice to almost a whisper, "Logan Echolls." She pursed her lips, waiting for Wallace to say something.

He'd gone still as a statue next to her. His fist in the popcorn bowl slowly released all the kernels and he turned to face her.

"I know you have detention with him. I was wondering if you were ever gonna tell me about it. You realize I work in the office, right? And I do a lot of filing. And that for every detention, there's a detention slip that gets put into the student's file. But, are you sure? I mean, Logan Echolls? Man, no guy should ever treat a girl like he did. You deserve better than that. He threatened you with a crowbar!"

"No, he didn't. He'd never hurt me, Wallace. I've known him for five years. I know you don't know the whole story about us but Logan is my oldest friend. We had a bad year, for sure, but he's apologized for all of it. We have a long history together and I know him better than anyone."

"History or not, I saw what I saw."

"Be nice, for me? Or at least cordial? I want my favorite people to get along. Have lunch with us tomorrow and get to know him?"

"I'm not eating with him… I'm just… not doing that. Guess I'll be eating with the team from now on."

****END FLASHBACK****

Logan groaned in regret. "God, Veronica, I'm beginning to realize why you didn't want to tell anyone about us. There are factors I didn't consider. Wallace, I mean. Maybe if I talk to him? I can go find him now-"

Veronica pulled on his sleeve. "No. Now's not the time. I'm still going to work on him."

"If he knew how I feel about you, I could try to explain-"

"Wallace is a really good guy, Logan. Like, the _best_. And no matter what you say, he's never going to be okay with you destroying my car. He thinks it's… well, he thinks it was violent and he interpreted it as you threatening me. You had your gang of friends there looking intimidating and then you were swinging around a crowbar. I think you just need to let it go for a while. If he sees us together and me being happy and you being kind, he'll come around eventually."

"Okay, no more talk-"

Logan was interrupted by Dick squatting down between them and throwing an arm around both of their shoulders. "Finally! I won't have to watch you two eye-fucking during lunch anymore."

"Enough, Dick." Logan rolled his eyes and pushed Dick's arm off.

"No seriously. You two have had that hate-lust thing building for like, forever. Wow, Ronnie, stop giving me the evil-eye. I'm here to give you my blessing. The Dickster approves. Logan told me you aren't as skanky as your reputation. And he's been panting after you for weeks."

Veronica was clearly livid and Logan interrupted before she could give Dick a verbal smack-down. "Um, thanks, man. I'll catch you later. We were just about to eat."

"Yeah, dude. You two should come eat with us tomorrow. Having Ronnie back at the table will be like old times."

After Dick left, Logan whispered to her, "I can't promise I'll ever stop eye-fucking you."

* * *

"I bet you're probably wondering about the swimsuits. Or maybe you've heard about the pool?"

Logan and Veronica exchanged matching looks of confusion and Ms. James gave them a rueful smile. "Okay, I guess not. So, as you know, Neptune played Pan in the football playoffs last Friday. Apparently, last Thursday night, some Pan kids thought it would be fun to pull a prank and they filled the pool with hundreds of little balls, like from a ball pit, that say 'Neptune sucks.' The swim team hasn't been able to practice since. And you can probably figure out what we need you to do for detention.

"Since this is time-sensitive, I'm going to hold off on any counseling today but we'll make up for it this week. Since it's our last week together, Vice Principal Clemmons and I discussed having your last day be Monday, I plan on making the most of the remaining sessions.

"So, why don't you two head on down to the locker rooms to change and Coach Barrett will meet you at the pool to explain what he wants you to do with the balls."

* * *

"If we have to spend the day cleaning balls out of a pool, at least I get to look at you in a bikini. Almost makes it worth it. Almost."

_Right back atcha, Echolls. Those are some stellar biceps you've got there. I want to climb you like a tree._

"My thoughts exactly." Veronica was standing at the edge of the pool, using a net to scoop up the balls.

Logan was tossing them one-by-one from the middle of the pool into the trash cans lining the pool deck. "But I'm not wearing a bikini."

"No, but I can still appreciate the view," she winked at him and he immediately swam to her and heaved himself out of the water. He stood behind her, his big wet hands landing on her stomach.

She jumped from the contact. "Ah! Cold."

He drew her back into his chest and continued to caress her dry skin with his wet fingers. Little drops of water were running down her stomach, over her bikini bottoms, and down her thighs. She watched their trail with a gulp.

"Oh, don't be a baby. You know, they think this is going to take a whole hour to finish." He kissed her shoulder. "But they don't know how well I can swim. I think we could get this done a lot sooner and then we'd have time to do," he whispered in her ear, " _other things_. They exaggerated - there aren't that many balls."

Veronica surveyed the mass of bobbing red balls in the pool and craned her neck to look back at him. "There's enough."

"You haven't seen me when I'm motivated. Watch and learn, Mars."

He committed himself to clearing the pool of all balls with tenacity, dumping netfull after netfull into the trash bins, swimming and scooping like the Energizer Bunny. Veronica wasn't as fast but she worked as quickly as possible, too. Thirty minutes later, she had to admit she was impressed with Logan's dedication.

_Now it's time to play._

* * *

Veronica threw the last ball in from the shallow end and Logan swam over to her with a naughty grin, pretending to be a shark, and scooped her up with a delighted whoop, spinning her in the water. He sat her on the pool deck and stood between her legs so they were the same height.

Giving her a smirk, he said, "Would you look at that? We have a whole half hour to kill." He ran his hands lightly up her thighs, causing her to break out in goosebumps.

She draped her arms across his shoulders and raised a brow. "I could go to work early. Make my dad happy."

"You could," he agreed, "if you wanted to. But don't you need to shower off all this chlorine first? You can't go incognito smelling like a swimming pool."

"Hmm. I guess you're right. And what about you? You probably don't want to wait until you get home to shower. Can't stink up the Xterra with these nasty chemical smells, right?"

_I don't even need to ask. We're on the same page, finally. And holy shit, I think I'm about to take a shower with Veronica. Hot water, soap, bare skin, Veronica._

"You know, I guess I could use a shower, too."

Veronica hopped up and held out her hand for him to grab. "Did you hear about the Neptune water shortage?" she asked casually, walking him in the direction of the girls' locker room.

_God, I love her._

"No, is it serious?"

"Extremely. Heard about it on the news today. They recommend taking joint showers wherever possible."

"I've always been a rule-follower, myself. Anything to help out the environment."

She led him to a private stall in the back of the deserted locker room and pushed him inside and closed the curtain behind them. He immediately pressed her up against the tile, mouth descending hotly over hers. Blindly reaching an arm out to turn on the shower, he continued to kiss her, waiting for the water to warm up.

When it reached the desired temperature, he stepped into the spray, bringing her with him.

They broke apart to look at each other for a second and she smiled at him, reaching back to undo her top. He took it from her, hung it on the hook, and groaned at the sight before him. It was dark in Big Sur when they did this before, the hot tub dimly lit by candles and lanterns. Now she stood before him in all her beauty, dazzling even in the harsh light of the locker room.

_This is bliss._

* * *

"You're so unbelievably beautiful." He softly ran one fingertip down her shoulder, across the gentle swell of her breast, over her peaked nipple and swallowed thickly. He looked into her eyes. "I want you so much." She shivered as he kissed her neck.

_I want you, too. But he doesn't mean…_

"Here?" she asked, taken aback.

"What? Oh, no. Not here. But this can be a first for us. First shower. Turn around, I'll wash your hair."

He proceeded to give her the scalp massage of her dreams while using the gross shampoo from the wall dispenser. She'd need to wash it out when she got home because it ruined her hair but she didn't care in the least. Fully relaxed, she fell back against him and he chuckled, spinning her around to rinse.

She arched back into the water, closing her eyes, and he bent to kiss and caress her breasts – teasing her nipples with hands and mouth until she let out a long, deep moan. With an animalistic cry, he picked her up and pressed her into the wall behind him. They ground into each other for a few minutes, his mouth trailing wet kisses across her jaw and down her neck as she reached for the tie on his board shorts.

He pulled back, chest heaving, mumbling. "I want you so much, Veronica. So much. But let's leave our bottoms on for now. Cause when I see you fully naked for the first time, I'm going to need more than twenty minutes to do what I want to do."

_If I were a cartoon character, my tongue would be unfurling right about now. He's so fucking hot he drives me crazy. And what does he want to do when he sees me naked and WHY can't that be today?_

He lightly caressed her cheek. "Can we save that first for another time?"

"Yeah." _Damn him and his self-control._

"Good, now let me wash you." He put her down gently on the shower floor and took the soap from the soap dispenser. He took his time washing every bit of her, even slipping his fingers down the back of her bikini to soap her ass, his hands by turns firm and gentle. When he finished, she was breathing heavy and looking at him like she wanted to devour him as he moved her into the spray to rinse the soap off.

_I need more, Logan. God, let me…_

He cupped her face with his hands. "I know what you need and I need it, too. Tonight, okay? At the stakeout. We'll have more privacy and we'll have more time. I can make sure you're… satisfied. Think of this as just an appetizer.

_Appetizer? I'm ready for the main freakin' course._

"Fine. But it's my turn to wash you now."

"No complaints there. Have at it."

* * *

Logan played with her hair while she snapped the much needed money shot. The schlubby cheatin' hubby in her viewfinder didn't last very long. According to her "friend" who worked at the Camelot's reception desk and who happened to give information for cash, he'd arrived with a prostitute just before Veronica and Logan got there. Maybe he only paid for half an hour?

"I like staking out with you. What would you think about us being partners? I could provide you with hours of entertainment so you'd never get bored _and_ I could help when things get dangerous. There's really no downside for you."

She took a few more pictures and then put her camera away. "I don't need a partner. I like my independence. But thanks for the offer, it's sweet. How about I invite you along on an as needed basis?"

"What need? Business? Or pleasure?"

"Both. Either. My preference. Will that work for you?"

"I guess. For now." He guided her head to his and kissed her deeply. "So. I believe we've had an appetizer already today. And I promised a main course."

"Hmm. I am feeling a little peckish."

"I think I can help with that. Would you care to accompany me to the backseat?"

Veronica looked at the cramped space in the back. "This car isn't made for what you have in mind. The back seat is about three inches wide."

"We'll make it work. It's gonna require some flexibility on your part."

After several minutes of adjusting limbs and curses and shouts of "ow", Logan brought his fist down on the seat in exasperation. "This isn't a backseat, it's a shoebox. The only way we're going to fit is for you to straddle my lap. This wasn't what I had in mind. Do you have time to go back to my place? I have a great big bed there."

"Not tonight. I need to get back. I may not be grounded but dad's keeping me on a short leash." She got comfortable on his lap, her legs on either side of his hips.

"Well, allow me refresh your memory about our appetizer. Cause I want to see that look on your face again. The look you gave me after I soaped you up. My all-time favorite look of yours."

_The fuck-me-right-this-second look._

He undid the buttons on her shirt and had her bra off in seconds. She yanked his shirt over his head and dragged her fingers across his shoulders and down his chest, occasionally playing with his hair. It didn't take much for her to get him revved up. That was all he needed, the feel of her bare skin pushed against his and he was out of his mind with desire. If she looked at him right now, she'd recognize the fuck-me-right-this-second look on his face. After another few minutes of making out, focusing on her neck and breasts, he pulled back to watch her.

_Yep. There's the look._

"God, Veronica." He breathed into her ear. "You don't know what you do to me. It's never been this way before. Let me make you feel good."

He resumed kissing her neck, his fingers working lower toward her jeans.

She stopped him. "Wait. It's just… I want to make you to feel good, too."

"I do." He kissed her, sucking lightly on her lip. "Every minute we're together."

"You know what I mean. Like how I felt in the hot tub."

He gave her a shy smile and ran his finger across her lips. "You did. I um… there's no delicate way to put this. I came when we were in the hot tub. Did you not know that?"

She flushed hotly, shook her head and looked away, clearly self-conscious about her inexperience.

He looked at her reddened cheeks and felt a surge of protectiveness wash over him. He was determined to safeguard not only her body, but her emotions as well. Wanting to shield her from embarrassment, he vowed to tread carefully, to foster her pride and confidence and sexuality, while he showed her whatever - _anything, everything -_ she wanted to know.

He caressed her neck idly, fingers slipping through the silky blonde strands of her hair.

"Yeah. When you were facing out… I was behind you and the sounds you were making… God, I just couldn't help myself. I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry." She grabbed his free hand and lightly ran her fingers over it, tracing the lines.

He shifted his other hand from her neck to her scalp, massaging. "It's the effect you have on me."

"Mmm. That feels nice." She waited a few beats. "It's the effect I _want_ to have on you. But I didn't really do anything. I want to… you know…"

"Make me come?"

She looked down. "Yeah."

"Say it, Veronica. Say the words."

She looked at him then, blue eyes piercing his with her steady gaze. "Logan, I want to make you come," she said softly, with an uneasy quirk of her lips at the end showing a vulnerability that made his heart swell.

Whenever she said that to him in his fantasies, and there were many, many times in his head where she spoke those words verbatim, she looked exactly the same as she did right that second. " _Fuck_. Those are the greatest words ever spoken in the history of mankind."

She chuckled. "Well, I do. So… show me?"

"Okay, but ladies first."

"Hmm?"

"Always been my rule. You, my dear, come before me."

"I do?"

"Yep. And this time, I want it to be my fingers that do it. Not the hot tub."

"Trust me, it wasn't the hot tub last time. It was you."

"It _was_ the hot tub. I just got you warmed up. Tonight, I want it to be all me. See if you make the same sounds as before."

"Like an experiment?"

"Exactly. For science. I'll be the independent variable and you'll be the dependent variable."

"Ah, I see. For the greater good. Well, I've never been one to turn my back on the _burning_ need for scientific discovery."

* * *

He made quick work of her with his hands. Touching her over her panties at first, gently, taking his time with her, building her up, and finally, when she was writhing against him steadily, her pants and moans growing, he slipped his hand underneath the fabric. She felt him moan into her hair when he made contact.

_Oh. Ohhh._

_So that's how it's supposed to feel._ _Why doesn't it feel like this when I do it?_

The sensation of his fingers touching her bare skin there, where she was wet with need, was like some kind of heaven.

He deftly brought her to the edge and slipped a finger, then two inside her and she was gone. There was no question that tonight, it was all him - whispering to her sweetly, compliments and encouragements, moving his fingers in the perfect sequence, putting his mouth on all the spots that made her shudder.

"Show off," she muttered, registering his self-satisfied expression.

He smiled and waggled his fingers, jazz-hands style. Then his expression turned tender, all traces of bravado gone, and he kissed her feather-light on the forehead. She burrowed her head into his neck and just held him, breathing in the scent of his skin and shampoo and cologne, suddenly too overcome with emotion to speak. There weren't really words for what she was feeling, anyway.

It eventually became apparent that he was still hard and wanting underneath her.

_Moment of truth, Veronica._

She'd never admit to him, or to anyone, that she had studied for this part since their trip to Big Sur. Reading articles on the best handjob and blowjob techniques and watching porn here and there when she could stomach it. Thank God for the internet. Virgins with no girlfriends would've been lost without it. At least she knew the basics of what she needed to do.

And when she gave him a tiny smile, he looked as nervous as she felt, and that helped her marginally relax. She kissed all over his neck and chest, as much as she could while still straddling his lap, and finally moved her hands to the button on his jeans and for once, he wasn't stopping her. His breathing had gone ragged, and he appeared to be concentrating really hard on something in the front seat. She couldn't worry about it now. Not when she was finally pushing his boxers down and touching him and pulling him out and oh, God, holding him in her hand. All of him. Every glorious inch of him.

"You okay?" he gasped, making sure.

"Never better," she lied. _Sort of a lie. But also sort of true._ "Can you show me how you like it?"

He nodded, apparently having lost the ability to speak. He brought her hand up to his mouth and sucked on her fingers, then licked her palm, and placed her hand back around him.

"Feels better if… Oh my _God_ , Veronica. Yes. Just like that. If it's… wet." She'd given some experimental tugs, and those were obviously acceptable so she kept going. His head fell back against the seat behind him, breath coming in pants.

"Is this okay?" She didn't want to hurt him and the articles hadn't specifically stated how firmly you should grasp. She increased her speed a bit, something that _was_ recommended.

"It's perfect. Oh, fuck. Fuck fuck fuck. Keep going." His head was moving side-to-side, fingers tightly gripping her hips. "That's it. Oh God. That's it." He palmed her breasts and with a final yell to the heavens, he came all over his chest, stomach, and her hand.

_Dear lord. That has to be the hottest thing I've ever seen._

He pulled her close, burying his head in her hair. When his breathing became normal, he whispered to her, "You're amazing. Completely amazing."

She smiled into his neck, proud of herself.

_Maybe sex isn't that complicated after all._


	21. Day 23

**Day 23**

She liked to watch him when he wasn't looking, taking advantage of surreptitious opportunities for assessing and evaluating. Like _he_ was a mystery she could crack someday if only she gathered enough clues. The mystery of his war against her, the mystery of his change of heart, the mystery of his darkness, the mystery of _them_.

When he was near, she'd sense him instinctively. It'd always been that way but now she was conscious of it. Of the undeniable magnetic pull he had on her. Her eyes would find him and she'd feel a rush. In the olden golden days, of affection and friendship. He'd smile back at her like they had some delicious secret just between them, never to be discussed. In the not-too-distant past, of anger, hurt, and/or suspicion. Recently, of longing.

He was at the end of the hall, leaning back against his locker, holding court, surrounded by the usual suspects. He hadn't noticed her yet and she was thankful for the undetected moment to observe him. Growing up, he'd always been good-looking. That was a given. But she found herself now gazing at a stunningly gorgeous individual who fulfilled the dual promise of winning the genetic and geographic lotteries - sired by 1987's Sexiest Man Alive and raised in California sunshine. He was the very picture of robust masculine beauty with bronze hair, tan skin, a surfer's gracefulness, a _man's_ body.

She tried to merge the two Logan's in her head - the one with the wild gestures and incendiary mouth and oft-used fists with the private one she knew - romantic, thoughtful, and broken. To her it seemed like he was two different people and she struggled with the differences.

She wondered, not for the first time, why the _hell_ Lilly ever cheated on him. Then the brief but familiar twinge of sorrow hit whenever she thought about Lilly. If Lilly were here, Logan would still be in love with her. Not _he_ r, not Veronica. With Lilly. If she were fool enough to think that he wasn't in love with Lilly, still, that is.

And she was more pragmatic than to believe that anyone who once loved Lilly Kane wouldn't always love Lilly Kane. It was like breathing air. You don't choose to do it, it just happens.

Which made Veronica Logan's rebound _and_ first runner-up in the contest of his heart. Cause all things being equal and all parties being alive, he'd choose Lilly over her every time. She really needed to decide if she was okay with being the winner by default. Winning by default went against every ounce of pride she had.

_Cause when a Mars wins, it's hard-fought and motherfucking EARNED. Add that to the Mars family crest._

She opened her locker to find a heart-shaped cinnamon roll inside and despite her best efforts to remain unmoved, the gesture made her stomach flutter, warmth flooding her cheeks, lips parting into an unintentional smile. She glanced back at him and heaved a heavy sigh.

_He could break my heart if I'm not careful. And how the heck did he get my new locker combination?_

* * *

He must've missed Veronica before homeroom. He was waiting for her but got caught up talking with his "friends." His "friends" now included one Troy Vandegraff and Logan could barely restrain himself from kicking his new "friend's" ass. He was trying to be better now, as he'd promised Veronica. Less violent. Less likely to get into trouble so he wouldn't be whipped to a bloody pulp and be forced to miss what was destined to be the best first date in history. _Two more days…_

Being less violent was particularly challenging when one of your new "friends" waxes poetic about the absolute flawlessness of your girlfriend's ass. Did he really not know we were together? It was basically the news of the school yesterday. But maybe he didn't hear because he's new?

In any case, a very clearly worded edict to STFU about Veronica and any of her absolutely perfect body parts had been issued. Territory marked.

Vandedouche responded with palms up in apology, claiming ignorance.

_Yeah, right._

* * *

He stood to greet her as she approached, sliding the lunch tray from her hands and setting it down. "Hey. I can't believe this is the first time I'm seeing you today."

She kissed him on the cheek and settled next to him at their new table. "Sorry, I know. During journalism I had to interview the football coach about the championship game this weekend. I tried to text you but my phone died."

"S'okay. I just missed you."

"Thanks for the cinnamon roll. It was sweet."

"Too sweet? Cause I can get you something else next time if it was-"

"The roll was delicious. I mean it was a sweet gesture. You were sweet. I mean… are. You, ah, are sweet." She stumbled inelegantly over her words, not used to making banal romantic declarations. It was somehow easier when they were half-dressed and consumed with each other. Even then, it was Logan who said the sweet stuff. She was either too immersed in the feeling of him for rational speech or too reticent to say anything at all.

He quirked an eyebrow and touched her forehead with the back of his hand. "You feeling okay?"

"Yeah. Why?" She willed herself to stop blushing.

"Just making sure. Not like you to be so gushy."

"Well get used to it mister. There's no end to the compliments I plan on paying you."

"I'll take any compliment you're willing to give," he said with sincerity, like he was still surprised she would ever offer him a kind word.

She looked down at her plate and speared a piece of meatloaf, holding it up to him. "Your eyes… are the color of meatloaf. Not the gray part from the middle. The burnt stuff at the end covered in brown gelatinous gravy."

He laughed with her.

"Flatterer."

"I try. So plan on being bowled over by my expressions of admiration." They shared matching goofy grins. "So do you have a costume for the dance?" she asked, popping the fork in her mouth.

"My favorite subject. Our first date. And yes, I do. Wait. You don't yet?" She could hear the alarm in his voice.

"Oh. I just wasn't sure if we were doing couples costume thing or-"

"Oh shit." His knee started jiggling next to her. "I should've thought of that. Do you want to do the couples thing? It's not too late to change. My mom has connections, I can get us costumes." _If he flaps his knee any faster, it'll detach from his leg and take flight_. "It's a good idea. We should do it. Let's do it. But… do you even know any 70's couples?"

Wanting to quell Logan's anxious, rambling response to her seemingly innocent question, she touched him, rubbing her thumb gently across his forearm.

_Why is he so nervous about this date?_

"Don't worry about it. I'll come up with something. And of course I know 70's couples. Keith Mars IS the 70's. I am a veritable 1970's expert. Top couples for the 70's include Sonny and Cher, Farrah Fawcett and Lee Majors, Burt Reynolds and Sally Field, the Captain and Tennille-"

"I'm stopping you there. That's perfect. No one will know who the hell we are and I get to wear a captain's hat."

"The Captain had a look but Tennille is harder to replicate. Basically, she just had a 70's haircut. I'm gonna have to pass on Tennille. Let's just go with mismatched costumes. Are you going to tell me yours?"

"That's a surprise. And don't tell me when you decide either."

_Looks like I'm going costume shopping after school. And now I get to do one of my favorite things…_

Veronica leaned in with a smirk. "I can be very persuasive when I want to be. And your costume is now the big mystery I intend to solve over the next two days."

"Never gonna happen, Mars. My lips are sealed. Do your best, though. I look forward to being subjected to your formidable bag of tricks." He winked and took a gulp of orange Gatorade.

"Can I tempt you with a bite of delectable eye-colored meatloaf?" she asked, waving her fork in front of him.

"You're gonna have to do _a lot_ better than meatloaf to get me to talk," he said with a double eyebrow bob.

"Game on, Echolls. Game on."

* * *

She said her reluctant, demonstrative goodbye to Logan after lunch and literally bumped into Duncan on her way to 6th period. Shockingly, he reached down to pull her up and apologized. Those may have been the first words he'd spoken to her (that she remembered) since Lilly died.

The hallway was deserted, Logan and Veronica having used all available minutes after lunch to canoodle, thereby sending them both scrambling to their classes on opposite sides of the school.

"Hey. It's, um, good to see you," Duncan said.

Veronica saw the opportunity to question him and seized it.

"Duncan. Can we talk privately?"

He looked around uneasily. "I was just going to ask you the same thing."

"Yeah. Okay. Let's go to my office. Follow me."

Once they were on opposite sides of the girls' bathroom across from the music room, Veronica got her bearings. There were several important questions she had about the night of Shelly's party.

"Veronica, there's something I want to tell you."

"I have some things I need to ask you about," she said, ignoring the bell indicating the start of 6th period.

"Okay. But let me go first, I've been trying to figure out what I'm going to say to you for days. Since Logan came over and, um, let me know about you two. Have you gone out with him yet?"

"Not that it's any of your business, but no, we haven't."

He exhaled deeply. "Oh. Great. That's… great. So, I owe you a huge apology. I know I was a total jerk to you after we broke up but I want you to know it was never your fault. I was dealing with some… unexpected news that made it impossible for us to date."

"And what news was that?"

"I can't tell you. I want to. But it's not really my place to say anything. Just know you didn't do anything wrong at all. And I've been thinking a lot about us… and I think…" He paused and looked tortured for a second then fixed his eyes on her. "We should still be a couple." He started moving toward her, brown shoes squeaking on the recently mopped floor with each step. "I'm not over you. I've tried for over a year and I can't get past it. I'm so _tired_ of trying to get over you. It's _exhausting_." He was right in front of her now. "So I decided there's no reason we can't continue to date and, um, not tell anyone. As long as we use birth control it'll be fine. We can go to college together on the East Coast and no one will have to know. We can-"

"WHAT?" She stormed away from him toward the opposite wall. "What the hell are you saying? You want us to be together? Now that me and Logan are a couple? This is crazy."

"I'm NOT crazy," he fumed, turning red.

"I didn't say you were. I said this is crazy. This idea."

He crossed the room quickly and put his hand on her waist. "I used to be the one you wanted. We were perfect together. I can make you happy again."

"No, you can't," she said, pushing his hand away. "You walked away and I moved on."

His face fell. "If you forgave Logan, you can forgive me. I didn't do nearly the damage he did. The stuff he said to you… I honestly can't believe you're with him. I'd never speak to you that way, Veronica. Never. You know that. I'd treat you-"

"Duncan. Stop. This isn't happening."

He backed to the door, pleading with her. "Just think about it. Take a few days. Remember how it was… it can be that way again. Don't you miss it?"

He left before she could question him about the party.

_Shit. Shit. Shit. And WHAT was with the birth control comment?_

* * *

"Is there anything either of you would like to share with me?" Ms. James asked pointedly.

"Nothing I can think of," Logan said.

"So no big changes in your personal lives, then?" she asked, smiling.

"Nope," Veronica said, returning the smile. "Just business as usual."

"I see. Are you aware that teachers use the hallways to get from place to place in the school?"

"Shocking." Logan made a face.

"It is. And I just so happened to be using the hallway to get back from the teachers' lounge after lunch today and saw what appeared to be you two engaged in a serious lip lock. Serious enough that I cleared my throat a foot away from you but neither of you noticed."

"That doesn't sound like us, does it Logan?"

"Not at all. Whenever we kiss, I always make sure there are no teachers around to disturb us."

"Very funny. So I repeat the question. Any news you want to share?"

Logan leaned in toward her desk conspiratorially. "Well, since you asked nicely and it seems we've been caught, I'll confess. Veronica and I like to make out after lunch. We'd be grateful if you didn't try to interrupt us next time. Deal?"

She tried to hide the smile from his smart-assedness but he knew he won over Becky James a few weeks ago. It was the infamous Echolls charm. Worked on all female 13-to-49 year olds and certain males as well. "We'll see. I'm making no promises. And what you're doing with the kissing, does that mean-"

"It means we like kissing each other. A lot." Veronica said, shrugging her shoulders and shooting Logan a look.

"Yep. A whole lot," he readily agreed, nodding his head.

"Interesting. And may I add _not at all surprising_. Just make sure you save your kissing for after-school hours. I want you to get through something important without any distractions for the next few days. You won't be having detention and will be required to spend the hour in the library with another set of questions. These questions must be asked of each other in order. Don't skip any of them, understand?"

"Got it. We'll focus on the questions not the lips," Logan promised.

* * *

"Why, Veronica Mars, are you getting handsy with me?" Logan asked as Veronica's fingertips danced down his t-shirt and headed toward a rapidly growing target. They were seated side-by-side at "their" table in the back near the biographies. No high school kids _ever_ wanted to read a biography. They were too caught up in their own lives to want to learn about anyone else's.

Veronica quirked a brow and glanced around the library, prompting Logan to do the same. No kids anywhere, no librarian to be found. She smiled in a way that let Logan know he was toast. "I _could_ get handsy if I had the right incentive. I deal in information. Is there anything you could offer that would inspire me to do something _interesting_ with my hands?"

Gulp.

_God, yes. I'll tell you whatever you want to know. My costume for the dance. My costume for next Halloween. My credit card number._

_No! I need to be strong. This is a challenge. I cannot embarrass myself by caving this early. Even with an offer of a handjob. Jesus, public handjobs are on the table now? How far is she willing to go with this?_

"I made a guarantee to our favorite guidance counselor that we would focus on the task. I won't let you lead me astray, no matter how tempting the offer. And I assure you, it is _incredibly_ tempting."

She frowned adorably and he leaned over to gently nip at her protruding lower lip, then swiped his tongue across it, just for a second, tasting the mint from her gum. He tapped the page in front of him and cleared his throat.

"Question 1: Given the choice of anyone in the world, whom would you want as a dinner guest?"

"I assume this is referring only to the living. If not, I'd choose Lilly. I'll have to go with my dad's favorite baseball player, Terrence Cook. He'd lose his mind with joy. He's such a baseball geek. You?"

"This is tricky because I've had dinner with all sorts of famous people and they all suck. At least the actors do. I'll say Jeremy Frank. He was my first real surfing instructor. Great dude. Very humble. Started a charity that helps underprivileged kids learn to surf."

Veronica nodded and slid the paper toward her. "Question 2: Would you like to be famous? In what way?" She held up a finger to stop him. "You don't even need to answer. I know yours. And my answer is also an emphatic no. Question 3: Before making a telephone call, do you ever rehearse what you are going to say? Why?"

He mulled it over. "You know, I don't think I've ever rehearsed any…. Oh, wait. I used to, I don't know if I'd say 'rehearse,' but I'd definitely think about what I would say when I called my parents to ask permission to sleep over at the Kane's, especially if I'd had too much to drink. My mom was always so drunk herself that she'd never pick up on my own intoxication. I believe you helped me out with a few of those calls, remember?"

"Yeah. I used to write down what you should say, like a script." She paused. "I sometimes have to make work-related calls where I assume different accents. But I never rehearse that stuff, I work better off the cuff."

"Spoken like the champion bullshitter you are. I say that with admiration. Question 4: When did you last sing to yourself? To someone else?"

"I sing to myself all the time. Especially in the car. I always bring my iPod on stakeouts. Helps to pass the time."

"What about singing to someone else?"

She gave him a wicked grin and sang suggestively into his ear, "I'm a slave for you, I cannot hold it, I cannot control it. I'm a slave for you, I won't deny it, I'm not trying to hide it."

"Good ol' Britney. She's always been so wholesome and subtle."

"Didn't you have a _huge_ thing for Britney? Like for an excruciatingly long time?" She started playing with his hair and dropped her voice seductively. "I know all the words to that song. I even know a dance. We had a whole routine to it for pep squad that got axed because it was 'too sexual.' I may be tempted to perform that dance again if I had the proper motivation."

Gulp.

"In the pep squad uniform?" His voice sounded strangled.

"I think that could be arranged."

Gulp. Gulp.

_She just offered up two (two!) of my favorite Veronica fantasies. Oh fuck. Fuck fuck fuckity fuck fuck. I'm never gonna make it. I'll fold before this hour is up._

Inhale. Exhale.

"I find it amusing that you think me so weak-willed. I know you. You'd never respect me if I gave up my treasured bit of information so easily."

_Say you would. Tell me you'd still respect me. Say it and I'll tell you whatever you want to know._

"Hmm. You need to answer the question."

_What question?_

"Do I sing to myself? Generally, no. I love music but my complete and utter tone-deafness has made me sadly self-conscious. I sing along from time to time when I know no one can hear me. And I never, ever sing to anyone else."

She slapped her hand down on the table. "That's not true. You and Duncan used to serenade Lilly and me with all of our favorite boy band hits, remember?"

"Oh God. That's right. I learned all the NSync songs just for you."

"C'mon. Lay one on me for old times' sake."

She batted her eyes at him and he couldn't help himself. He belted out with some synchronized in-the-seat dance moves, "Don't wanna be a fool for you, just another player in your game for two. You may hate me but it ain't no lie, Baby bye bye bye."

She gave him an enthusiastic round of applause and he tipped his head in thanks, cheeks aching from smiling. Her eyes were bright and he kissed her, softly. Pulling back, he thought they must look so sickeningly cute together that if it were anyone _but_ them, he'd relentlessly shame and snark them into submission.

_Alas, I'm just a teenager in love._

He read from the paper. "Okay. Next question: If you were able to live to the age of 90 and retain either the mind or body of a 30-year-old for the last 60 years of your life, which would you want?

Veronica put her chin in hand, considering. "So if I answer body, I'm immediately shallow and vain."

"Not necessarily. I'm going to say body. My mind is sharp as a tack. And if I kept the body of a 30-year-old, I'd be able to surf in my 80's."

"I choose mind. Being smart is more important to me than sagging skin."

"You say that now, when your body is picture-perfect. My mom would jump at the chance for a 30-year-old body."

"I see your point. It's easier to choose mind when your body is-"

"Incredible? Miraculous? Firm? Succulent? A Wonderland?"

She grinned at him. "Thank you. I was going to say young. But I still choose mind. The next question is: Do you have a secret hunch about how you will die?"

"Well that's not sexy at all. Skip. Let's talk more about your body."

She shook her head. "We're not skipping any of them. Answer, please."

_My dad will go too far and kill me someday. He'll beat me in a blinding fury and when he realizes what he's done, as I lie helpless and unmoving on the floor, he'll choke the breath out of me because it'll be easier than dealing with the ramifications of sending me to the hospital._

_Sounds like a fantastic answer. I'm sure she'll love it._

"I think I'll die doing what I love. Surfing or having sex. Or maybe surfing _while_ having sex."

"That'd do it. Too many things to concentrate on and you'd probably drown."

He raised a brow expectantly. "I can't wait to hear your answer to this."

"I _hope_ I die peacefully in my sleep at the ripe old age of 92."

"But is that how you really think you'll go?"

He watched her play with the questions, turning the paper with her index finger acting as a pivot point in the corner. Upside down. Right side up. Upside down. "No. Probably not. It could be a case gone wrong."

"Are you hearing yourself right now? You're admitting that your after-school part-time job could result in your DEATH. Yet you continue to bee-bop through life like it ain't no thang."

"I'm doing what I need to do to help my dad and I happen to love it. And I didn't mean a case gone wrong _now_. I meant if I go into law enforcement or the FBI or something, I could potentially be killed. At some point far, far in the future."

"Hmm. Next question: Name three things that you and your partner appear to have in common. Oh, this is a good one."

"I think we're both judgmental adrenaline junkies with a dark side."

He leaned back in his chair and locked his fingers behind his head in thought. Finally, he said, "I concur. Although _some_ of us," he slid his eyes to her,"*cough cough* are more judgmental than others. We're also both hot, in appearance and temper, loyal, and intelligent."

"Agreed. Although _some_ of us *cough cough* are hotter than others."

"Touche. Next question: For what in your life do you feel most grateful?"

"Pfft. That's easy. My dad."

"Easy one for me, too. I'm most grateful for you," he blurted without thinking.

_Oh shit. Oh damn. Too much too soon. She's going to backpedal or make a joke or-_

She leaned into his side and took his hand in hers. "I'm grateful for you, too."

Inhale. Exhale.

She read, "If you could change anything about the way you were raised, what would it be?"

He thought about telling her the deep, dark secret no one knew. It'd be nice to unburden himself to someone who actually cared. He'd never told anyone, not even Lilly. She always bought his ridiculous stories about the cuts on his back and burn marks. She wasn't one to dig too deep or think too hard about others. He'd never get Veronica to buy that shit. The only reason she didn't know now is because his dad hadn't touched him in the last few weeks.

"I'd change everything. I'd want parents who weren't famous. Ones who raised me themselves, no nannies, with love, and didn't find it necessary to abuse alcohol, drugs, or resort to plastic surgery."

"Yeah." She nodded sadly at him. "I'm sure you can guess, I'd choose to have my mom be sober, too."

They were still holding hands and he squeezed hers. "We missed that similarity before. Our moms."

"Right. We did."

"I think that may be a reason we're drawn to each other. Mothers with substance abuse issues. Do you, um, ever hear from your mom?"

"No. She split and hasn't been in contact since."

He turned and looked at her full in the face, cupping her jaw. "Veronica. I'm so sorry. I don't think I've ever said that to you. I can't imagine… if my mom were to go away and just leave me alone with my dad… I don't think I could deal with that. Some of us are _stronger_ than others, I guess."

"I'm going to find her and bring her home and get her help. I can't just give up on my mother," she said quietly.

He hugged her, drawing her close. "I can help you. Whatever you need." He felt her nod into his chest.

She pulled back and said, "Last question for today. If you could wake up tomorrow having gained any one quality or ability, what would it be?"

"Oh. Superhero stuff – flying, strength, speed, telepathy, telekensis. All excellent choices. But I think I'd want the ability to stop time."

"Like everything stops but you?"

"Exactly. I could move around while everyone else was frozen."

"Why?"

"I could get out of certain unsavory situations that way. Screw with people's minds. Also, I could live longer in the good moments, really take everything in so I don't miss anything. Like an extended mental picture."

_Like last night in the car. How I wish I could've frozen time last night._

"That's a really… interesting answer. I like it. I'd want the ability to read people's minds."

"Oh that's terrible. You don't want to know what other people are thinking. Truly. People are awful. You'd end up being miserable listening to everyone's doubts and self-absorption and ignorance all day."

"Yes, I SO do. I'd know instantly if someone were lying. My life would be exponentially easier. It's my ultimate wish."

"Okay. I guess I have to accept your answer even though I think it would lead to madness and despair."

"Thanks for being concerned about my mental health."

"No problem, that's what boyfriends do. Care about your mind, body, and soul. With particular attention to your body."

She gave him the "you're toast" look again. "Speaking of my body… want to come back to my place? I'm sure I can find my old pep squad uniform somewhere in the back of my closet. I'll put on my Britney CD. Just whisper in my ear what I need to know and-"

"Veronica!"

"What?" she asked, face lit up like a Christmas tree.

"Please stop," he begged. "You're killing me."

She patted his shoulder. "Aw. You know you're loving every minute of this. This is what we do."

_Match wills? Yes. It is. Too bad yours is stronger than mine._

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Hi dear readers. Thank you so much for continuing this journey with me. Only a few more chapters to go for these two... Also, I should mention that I am taking these questions from an interesting article I read. According to a Canadian researcher, apparently there are 36 questions that you can ask someone, in order, and they will make you fall in love. I'm skipping/editing those as needed to fit this story but basically, yes, these questions will make you fall in love with someone, as proven by science. Weird, huh? Feel free to use this information in your personal life. ;)


	22. Day 24

**Day 24**

She had a plan and it was a good one. One that would be certain to get him to spill the beans. Sure, this whole charade could be over with a two-minute phone call to Mrs. Echolls, but where was the fun in that? Truth be told, Veronica was enjoying her role as a modern-day Mata Hari, temptress for costume secrets. The setup allowed her to explore her sexuality in heretofore untested ways, providing her with an excuse to entice under the guise of "solving the mystery."

She couldn't care less about his costume. Well, that wasn't _entirely_ true. Information was being denied her and that didn't sit right on principle. She did care, however, a great deal about his reaction when she employed her feminine wiles.

And thus far, his frozen, deer-in-headlights response did more for her self-esteem than any sweet nothing he'd uttered. Words could deceive, people could lie, but Logan was undoubtedly telling the truth when he said he wanted her. There was overwhelming, undeniable physical evidence to support his claim. With minimal effort and zero physical contact, she could reduce him to a fidgety mess.

So this was going to be easy. Armed with some items from her "formidable bag of tricks," she turned the knob to Mrs. Kearney's room and began phase one.

* * *

He got the note in second period and had to double check to make sure his name was on the front. He'd never had Mrs. Kearney for freshman English and had no earthly idea why she would want to talk with him now. He wouldn't argue it though, he'd do anything to get out of European History.

Farewell Protestant Reformation…

The door was locked, which was odd, so he knocked and tried to peek in but someone had covered the window with black construction paper. He waited a minute but didn't hear any noise from inside the room. Just as he was about to head back to class, a vision in white and green appeared before his eyes.

When Veronica opened the door in her pep squad uniform, several things happened in rapid succession: he sucked in a shaky breath, lower lip dropping open, he registered that she must've grown since the last time she wore this getup and that worked for him _just_ fine, his pants became unbearably tight, and Veronica grabbed his wrist and yanked him inside.

He blinked his eyes around the room, adjusting to the dim lighting. Some sort of new-agey music was playing, harp and sitar layered over a droning bass, and the air was lightly scented with patchouli. The overhead lights were off, strings of Christmas lights crisscrossed the ceiling creating an intimate vibe and bean bags were arranged invitingly in the middle of the room, forming a bed of sorts.

"Well _you're_ not Mrs. Kearney," he said, spinning to face her.

She locked the door and leaned back against it. "Very astute observation."

He crossed his arms and gave her a look. A look that said he knew exactly what she'd done. A look that said he was more than a little impressed by her. "You threatened her, didn't you? With the pictures of the pot in the garden?"

She blew the bangs out of her face and the corners of her lips dragged into a slow smile. "I'm not going to reveal my tactics but just know this room is free for our use for all of second period. For a week, maybe more."

"Veronica," he tried for admonishing but it sounded admiring to his ears, likely to hers as well.

"What?"

He took a step closer, only a foot separating them. "I thought blackmailing of teachers was frowned upon for Ivy League candidates."

She became instantly defensive. "You're complaining? You are my boyfriend, right? The one with the explicit pep squad fantasies and don't-give-a-fuckatude?"

"Not complaining. It's," his eyes journeyed appreciatively over her uniform, "all good." He sighed dramatically and took another step closer, causing her crane her neck to look up at him. "So, Mars, you got me here, now _what_ are you going to do with me?"

She closed the one-inch gap between them and wrapped her arms around his neck, pressing her body tightly against his. "I have some ideas."

_I bet you do. God help me._

He felt something, actually two somethings, poking his lower chest through his shirt.

 _Is that?_ His hands roamed to the back of her t-shirt to confirm his suspicions. _Oh, Christ, it is._ He had to take a second to remember this moment, cursing himself again for his inability to freeze time, because she was standing before him in her one-size-too-small pep squad uniform, white shirt stretched temptingly across her chest, and she wasn't wearing a bra.

He groaned internally, slowly sliding his hands down to her ass and giving both cheeks a good, firm squeeze. He allowed himself that one grope because he knew where this was headed and he'd need to be tough.

_In fact, I should just get out of here right now. She's obviously brought her A-game._

"Do you?"

She fluttered her lashes and bit her lip. "Mm hmm. I was just thinking that if I knew your costume for the dance, I'd be so happy that I would probably burst into dance right here." She pointed to the Britney CD next to her bag on the floor. "See, brought my own music and everything."

_Scratch that. I'd be an idiot to leave. God, just look at her._

"Now that is something I'd really love to see. It's too bad you'll have to wait to bust a move at the dance since I'm not telling you what my costume is."

She pulled away from him and narrowed her eyes. "Why is it so important to you to withhold information?"

He clenched his jaw and summoned all his willpower, holding her away from him by her shoulders. "Just is. I like making you crazy. It's staying a secret."

She leaned up, gliding her fingertips along his jaw and whispered near his ear - she was too short to actually whisper _in_ it - "You say 'secret,' I hear, 'Veronica, I'll tell you whatever you want to know.' "

He mimed locking his lips with a key and smiled at her delightedly. This whole game they were playing was a major turn-on. Veronica vamping it up, trying to seduce him. He'd have to tell her just how much this was working for him _after_ he picked her up for their date. Any encouragement before that would downright kill him.

She smiled back, accepting his challenge, and unexpectedly dropped to her knees in front of him. She cupped his hard-on through his jeans and looked up at him with those eyes of hers. Wicked and shining and playful.

_Oh shit._

She began stroking him through his pants. "You're really committed, aren't you? But you seem stressed. Keeping secrets isn't good for your health. As your girlfriend, isn't there _anything_ I could do," and she licked her lips invitingly, "that would help you relax?"

He needed her to stop. She would win, hands down, stick a fork in him, if she started blowing him. All she'd need to do was give him one lick, one suck, one second with those gorgeous lips wrapped around him and he'd fold faster than Superman on laundry day. He'd wasted countless minutes over the years imagining Veronica blowing him, second only to one thing. Well, two things, but he wasn't thinking about being inside her right now. It wasn't the right time or place for that. He was thinking about her in those tiny shorts. And getting her out of them as soon as fucking possible. And doing the number one thing on his wish list, if she'd allow it. He pulled her up and pinned her to the wall, pressing all of his hardness into all of her softness and she squeaked adorably.

"I'm not telling you anything, but since you're dressed as my teenage dream, I plan on taking full advantage of the remaining," he swiveled his head around and found the clock on the wall, "thirty-seven minutes in this period. Sound like a plan?" he asked, fastening his lips to the juncture of her neck and shoulder, spinning her from the wall, and moving gracefully to the beanbag nest.

"Impressive, Logan," she said with a sigh.

He whispered to her, "You haven't seen anything yet."

"I meant your iron will."

* * *

_Does Logan not like blowjobs? This is the second time he's stopped me from giving him one._

She'd have to remember to ask him when she wasn't otherwise occupied with the feeling of his body cocooning her, arms and chest and legs over and around her. He was lying between her spread thighs, doing marvelous things. Stupendous things. She could get used to this. _Oh God_ , this may have been her best idea ever. Who needed second period study hall when you could have Logan Echolls on top of you, hot mouth on your nipples through your shirt, grinding and kissing and teasing like he was born only for this? Only for you…

As he inched her shirt up to expose her breasts, he gave her the look he always did when he saw her topless – equal parts worshipful, amazed, and lustful. He motioned for her to lift her arms and he pulled the shirt over her head. She responded by arching her back slightly in invitation.

_Continue, please._

He placed a quick kiss on each breast, then a longer kiss on each breast, shot her a wicked grin, and moved back to her mouth.

"Want to know one of my fantasies?" he mumbled between kisses.

"Mm hmm."

He brushed her hair back from her face and held himself above her, weight on his forearms, hands cupping the top of her head. "I used to imagine you in this uniform so many times. You seducing me. Me seducing you. Every variation." She leaned up to kiss him hungrily. Hearing that he used to think about her back then, even when he had Lilly, never failed to thrill. He pulled back an inch and said, quietly, "But what I really want to do right now is taste you."

She squirmed. _Taste?_ _He means…_

"Like-" she rubbed her core against him.

He looked suddenly nervous. "Yeah. Can I? I think you'll like it. If you don't we can stop."

She looked at the door. It was locked but Mrs. Kearney had a key. If she'd gone to Clemmons with the blackmail attempt, they could both be on their way back here right now. Doubtful, but possible. She weighed the slim chance of that outcome with the certainty of orgasmic ecstasy from Logan's talented tongue - Lilly used to _rave_ \- and it seemed to be a no-brainer.

She agreed and he immediately got to work.

He spent a long time kissing her belly and hips, running his teeth lightly across her hipbone, trailing kisses across her waistband, then moved to her thighs. He started at her knee and slowly, with great care, lavished her with kisses from her knee to the top of her thigh where her shorts still rested, alternating legs as he went. The thing about her shorts was, she could barely get them on. They basically covered not much more than her underwear. So when he kissed her at the very top of her thighs, _holy shit_ , she could almost feel his mouth _there_.

_Oh God, yes, almost right there._

His hands roamed across her bare skin, caressing everywhere except for where she really wanted them. As his mouth lingered as far north on her legs as it could, she twisted and turned, completely _desperate_ for contact and she heard herself whimper. Taking pity on her, he unbuttoned her shorts, releasing a puff of approval when he revealed her satin and lace lilac-colored underwear.

He rubbed his thumb across her hipbone. "You're so sexy," he said, dipping his head to press a soft kiss to the top of her panties.

_Not compared to Lilly or any of the other thousand girls with big boobs and curvy hips you've been with._

"Not so sure about that but I'm glad you think so."

" _Fuck._ Yes, Veronica, you are." He slowly removed her panties, pressing kisses the whole way down her legs as he brought the fabric with him. When they were off, he looked up at her, fingertips barely touching her thighs and said a strangled, "Oh God," like he couldn't believe the sight before him. "You're perfect," he whispered, and proceeded to lower his head between her legs.

_Oh._

_Ohh._

_Holy shit._

_This is just…_

_OHMIGOD! He needs to write a manual. Make instructional videos. Share his glorious knowledge of the female body with the rest of mankind._

Because Logan knew how to use his mouth. The boy was gifted. And Veronica had never felt anything as miraculous as the first swipe of his tongue across her soft folds. When she sucked in a rough breath, he chuckled against her. With the second taste, he began moaning "mmm," and with the third taste, she forgot to be embarrassed, twined her fingers through his hair, and held on with both hands. Because Logan was kissing her pussy like he kissed her mouth. With full contact, lips open wide, completely covering her.

There was no better feeling in the world than being kissed by Logan. Now, she knew, and would hopefully ( _please God!_ ) never forget, there was no better feeling in the world than being kissed by Logan _right_ _there_. He was completely gentle, ghosting his soft lips across her, hot breath and wet tongue mingling. A little licking, a little sucking, a little kissing, a little pressure, writhe, moan, circle, repeat.

Each minute brought her closer to nirvana, her every muscle being stretched taut, the delicious heavy feeling building. She'd never experienced anything like this and, _Jesus_ , she didn't even know her body _could_ feel like this. That begged the question, how much more pleasure was she capable of feeling( _?!_ ), a question for another day because, _fuck_ , his hands were on her hips, holding her down, then guiding her to roll against his mouth as she grew more aroused. When she thought she couldn't take any more, her moans increasing, he brought a wet finger to lightly circle her opening, the barest hint of a touch, as he covered her clit with his flat tongue and pushed, and she completely short-circuited. He didn't even need to put his fingers inside. The dam of pleasure burst open and she rode the waves, euphoric, hips moving of their own accord as she squeezed his head between her thighs and gripped his hair.

He'd made her come before, but this feeling was entirely different. Like the pleasure from her previous orgasms times a thousand. It seemed to go on and on and on. She tried to be quiet but she knew she wasn't. She was still trembling when he eased her legs apart and crawled up her body, covering her mouth with his, muffling her remaining cries.

_So much for ME reducing HIM to a squirming, fidgety mess._

She ended up with her face was pressed against his chest, listening to his heartbeat, legs all mixed up with his. She just needed a minute to - _HOLY HELL_ \- recover and get her bearings and whatnot, and was thinking she very much enjoyed the solid feeling of his warm body next to hers, except he was fully clothed and she was fully unclothed. But she was too blissed out to worry about that at the minute. Just…

"Jeez." She spoke into his chest, "How much better does sex feel than _that_? Cause I gotta tell ya, that was like-" and she trailed off with a whistle.

He rumbled a warm chuckle, a puff of air blowing her through hair, and kissed the top of her head. "With us? Get ready to have your mind blown."

She played with the buttons on his shirt but couldn't bring herself to make eye-contact. "My mind is already blown."

He rolled her on her back, kissed her forehead and looked in her eyes, expression adoring and soft and unguarded. _This_ was her Logan. "More. It'll be more than this, Veronica."

_How is that even possible? Count me in. In, in, in._

"Okay." She rolled back on top of him and kissed him. "Now it's my turn," she whispered in his ear, grinding into him. "Even if you won't tell me what I want to know."

She leisurely unbuttoned his shirt, peppering soft kisses on newly exposed skin, relishing the feeling of just touching him. Playing with his sparse chest hair, she gave an experimental scratch of her nails across his pecs, admiring the four red scratch marks left there. He murmured his approval, mumbling something about her being a bad girl.

_Am I? A bad girl? I'm definitely not a good girl by anyone's standards. But is that how Logan sees me?_

She continued her experimental journey southward and when she finally reached his pants, he shot up, gripped her around the arms and said, completely panicked, "Get up. Two minutes to the bell."

_I really owe Logan now. Cause with the amount of blood below his waist, there's no way he's going to be able to walk straight in two minutes._

He ran around the room in a frenzy, simultaneously buttoning his shirt and recovering her discarded clothes and throwing them at her. "Oh shit. Wait. You can't wear that uniform! Where are your actual clothes?"

She pulled her panties back on and stood up holding her pep squad shirt turned inside-out in front of her, suddenly self-conscious about her nakedness. "Throw me my bag."

They worked together to haphazardly dress her. She was just tying her boots when Mrs. Kearney unlocked the door, shooting Veronica a death-glare that wasn't particularly effective because hippies and intimidation don't mix but otherwise ignoring them both as she went to her desk.

They rejoined the rest of the students wading through the hall, holding hands, Veronica leading Logan to her bathroom office.

"What are we doing now?" he asked, when they were inside.

She stood on her tip toes and gave him a long kiss. "Just thought I should finish what I started."

He groaned in frustration. "I have a test this period and I can't miss it."

"Sounds like a big problem."

He smirked and placed her hand on his pants. "Enormous."

She raised a brow. "Good thing you have a girlfriend who takes your problems seriously."

"Here's an idea: Wanna have lunch in the backseat of my car?"

"You got it, big guy," she said with a wink, giving him a little squeeze.

* * *

Rebecca James was clearly in a rush, shoving papers into her bag. "You two are going to resume your questions today in the library. How did those work out yesterday?"

"Great. I learned Veronica would rather be smart than hot."

She stopped and looked up at Logan. "Let's not pass judgement on each other's answers. It's an exercise in trying to get to know each other better. Your true inner selves, not what you project to the rest of the world."

Veronica shifted uncomfortably in her seat.

"Don't look so nervous. It's just questions. And with the state of your… _friendship_ , I expected you both to enjoy this exercise."

* * *

"Wanna do the rest of these questions in my car?" He was (mostly) joking.

She punched his arm. "No. I like the library. It's quiet, secluded…"

"Public?"

"That, too."

"But I have such fond memories of us in my car…"

****FLASHBACK****

Veronica threw her bag in the front seat and climbed into the back with Logan following. They wasted no time in talking, preferring to just dive right into where they left off. A few minutes passed and Logan had divested Veronica of her top while Veronica managed to get his shirt and belt off. Her hands were fumbling with the button on his pants as she kissed him soundly.

He rested his hands on top of hers, stilling her fingers.

"You don't have to do this, Veronica."

"I know." _Quick kiss_. "But I believe in the spirit of reciprocity." _Longer kiss._

"What we do doesn't have to be reciprocal, you know. No one's keeping score. I don't ever want you to feel like you owe me anything. If I go down on you, it's cause I want to. Trust me, I _love_ it. Never do anything with me that you don't genuinely want to do, okay?"

She quirked an eyebrow. "I'm really starting to wonder if you don't like blowjobs."

At that, he burst out laughing. "Ah, no. In fact, I think they're awesome. And if you want to... do _that_ , I'm not gonna stop you."

She flushed then. "I might need you to tell me-"

His heart swelled. Every time she showed vulnerability, he fell a little more in love. He knew it didn't come easily and recognized it for the gift it was. Unbelievably, remarkably, she trusted him with her body. After everything he'd done last year, it was a goddamn miracle. He longed to be worthy of that trust more than he ever wanted anything in his life.

He rested his forehead against hers and cupped her jaw. "Anything. I'll tell you anything you want to know."

"How should I start?"

He proceeded to talk her through the finer points and, true to form, she proceeded to surpass all of his expectations. It turned out to be the best blowjob of his life. Mostly because it was from her. And because he was desperately in love with her _._

The technique was fine, excellent really, by the time she got used to it. But best of all, she was enthusiastic. Passionate and wholly determined. For some inexplicable, wondrous reason, she _wanted_ to give him pleasure. _And then she actually swallowed!_

There's a reason she's got a 4.2 GPA, he thought, when it was all said and done. She's always been an overachiever.

****END FLASHBACK****

He wanted to tell her some of his dirty thoughts. That he couldn't concentrate on his AP Pre-Calc exam because he still had the taste of her on his tongue. That she was fucking delicious and he couldn't get enough. That she had the most gorgeous, delicate pussy. That he wanted to spend hours down there making her come over and over. That he'd never been more turned on in his life than when she came in his mouth, so wet she actually _flowed_ into him and he lapped it up like he was dying of thirst.

And that they didn't need to rush into sex because this was enough. More than enough.

 

Other things he wanted to tell her, but didn't, in no particular order:

That his mom barely got out of bed anymore and he was worried.

That he was relieved to see the party planner arrive this morning to help his mom plan their annual Christmas party because she was in a good mood when he left for school.

That it was his turn to host the next poker game with his friends, weekend after Thanksgiving, and she should come.

That Duncan stared at her all through journalism and it was unnerving.

That he missed Duncan like a phantom limb, though he fronted otherwise.

That he suspected she might have an exhibitionist kink that he couldn't wait to explore.

The she was more comfortable sharing her body than her emotions with him and that was okay, he could wait.

That their first date was important because it was his first real first date with anyone. By the time he'd gotten his driver's license, he'd already been dating Lilly for over a year so it was anti-climactic. He'd never done the whole pickup with flowers thing for a first date and he was excited for that teenage rite of passage.

That he'd be excited to pick her up regardless of the number of dates they'd had.

That he wanted to take her out on his yacht, just the two of them.

That he watched her bitch out Jared Taylor, that sophomore d-bag, this morning and he found it both endearing and hot.

That he loved watching her stomp around, pissing people off.

That he loved her mind.

That he loved her, period.

 

Instead, he said, "Next question: If a crystal ball could tell you the truth about yourself, your life, the future or anything else, what would you want to know?"

Her eyes darted around the library, they weren't alone today. There were a few kids studying and the librarian was keeping a watch over them. Eventually, her gaze landed back on him. "Lilly."

Right. This again. Should he bring up grief counseling? It's probably too soon. She'd tell him to go to hell. And there's also the possibility, slim though it may be, that she may be right. _Fuck_ , that is a scary thought. That Lilly's killer may still be out there somewhere…

"You still believe it wasn't Able Koontz?"

She rolled her eyes. "I swear, if you ask me that one more time-"

"Hey." He reached across the table, she was sitting opposite him today, and held her hand. "I," he didn't say the words ' _want to_ ,' even though he thought them, "believe you. So who do you think did it?"

She crossed her arms and he noted it as a defensive move. "Signs point to someone in the Kane family."

Aaand they're right back to where they were a year ago.

He took a deep breath, breathed through his counter-argument. He didn't voice any doubts, because he loved her, and he thought it was pretty important to show her some measure of support, regardless of his own beliefs. He wanted her to see that he'd grown. That he trusted her judgement and could remain open when discussing this.

"Okay. Why do you think that?"

"Because Abel Koontz was paid off for his confession and the Kane's have the means. And they were washing blood out of Duncan's soccer uniform right after it happened. Doing an emergency load of laundry isn't typical behavior for grieving parents."

"So you think it was Duncan?"

That was so beyond what he could get his head around, he couldn't bring himself to believe it. Placid Duncan, who was always the solid do-gooder, the voice of reason, his conscience. It boggled the mind. But of all people, Veronica should know that.

"I think it was a Kane. That's all I've got right now."

He leaned in, elbows on the table. "How do you know Koontz was paid off?"

"His daughter's bank records. I'm going to visit him next week. I want to see what he has to say."

And the alarm bells went off. "You're going to visit Lilly's killer in prison?" _Please_ , Veronica, go to a grief counselor instead.

"He's _not_ her killer. And yes."

He wished he never said what he thought next. The words just popped out of his mouth: "At least signs don't point to me, I guess I should be thankful."

"You've got an airtight alibi. I checked."

He pulled his sleeves over his hands and swallowed over the lump in his throat. It was like she'd taken his heart in her hand and squeezed. He'd hoped to avoid this discussion. But there wasn't any getting around it now, he was going to have to come clean about his alibi. And pray, _please God_ , that she'd believe him.

_I have to tell her. But it can't be here, surrounded by other people. And if I tell her now, she might not go out with me tomorrow._

"I'd expect nothing less. Can I come with you? I don't want you to go alone."

"Yeah. We're going to have to skip school. Visiting hours and all that."

"Okay."

"Your turn."

He wanted to tell her that the only thing he cared to know is how their relationship turns out. Would they still be together in a year? Five years? _God_ , ten?

"I don't have a burning desire to know the truth. Or how the future turns out," he lied. And, _fuck_ , are they ever going to get to the place where he can tell her what he really thinks without fear of rejection? He willed that day to come. But, he reminded himself, it was still early.

We've got time.

They covered the next few questions, including what they valued most in a friend – her: truth, him: loyalty – their most treasured memory – they agreed: homecoming at the beach, just the four of them all night, with Lilly being Lilly, larger than life. Veronica was wistful as they talked about it, then she faced the window and frowned.

"Something wrong?"

"Are you really not in love with her anymore?" she asked him in a small voice, barely audible.

_Is she serious?_

"It's hard to be in love with a dead girl. Kinda one-sided." He ran a hand through his hair. "Though our whole relationship was pretty one-sided."

"That isn't true."

"Yes, it is. I loved her. She wasn't capable of loving me the same way."

"You know how she was," she said with a dismissive hand wave.

"Yeah, and I'll always love her, I guess." He saw her start to shut down at that statement so he rushed to continue. "As my first love. But that's it. Our relationship was doomed. We weren't even together when she died. Who even knows if we would've gotten back together? I think she was done with me. And I was done being jerked around."

"I can't even imagine you two not being together if she were here. I feel like…"

"Like?"

"Like I'm betraying her."

"Veronica, she broke up with me every time the mood struck to go fuck someone else. And the mood struck weekly near the end. She wasn't a good girlfriend. _She_ betrayed _me_. You have nothing to feel guilty about."

"But we wouldn't be together if she hadn't died."

"I've thought about that, too, and I like to think we would be." He reached for her hand again and she reluctantly let him hold it. "That we were fated no matter what. I hope I would've realized what I should have all along. That we are a better fit. That you get me and I get you on an intrinsic level. And maybe you would've realized the power you have, if you stepped outside her shadow."

"She would've hated this. Us."

"I'm not sure. Maybe at first."

"She would've made my life hell."

"She loved you, Veronica. I think she would've wanted you to be happy, even if it was with me. And if not, how bad would that have been, really? I mean, look at you now, after I made your life hell. You're a total bad-ass and would've given her a run for her money. You would've won, too. You're smarter than she was and way less self-centered. She had a lot of weaknesses you could've exploited."

"Why didn't you ever exploit her weaknesses? That's sort of your specialty."

And that hurt, even though he acknowledged the truth of it.

"Love combined with self-loathing. Made me put up with way more than I should have."

"I figured you were going to say it was all about the sex."

"Nah. It was wanting to keep us together, the four of us. Not rocking the boat. The sex was just sex."

"Oh, please. You're going to sit there and tell me that Lilly Kane wasn't the best you've had?"

He threaded their fingers together.

"Lilly… introduced me to sex. She was my first and she was wild and uninhibited and liked to experiment. Sex was just a big game to her but it was missing something. I wanted it to mean more to her emotionally and I just ended up feeling empty after a while. She used me to get off and I let her."

"Wow. I never knew. I always thought you two had amazing, off-the-charts sex. Lilly always said it was."

"Not really. I mean, it wasn't a chore, I'm not saying that. But it wasn't what I wanted, exactly, either."

_Not like what it is with us. What it could be._

She sighed. "Okay."

"You believe me?" He couldn't hide the relief in his voice. He'd addressed her insecurities and she seemed placated. That was a big deal for them.

"Yeah."

"Good. Cause today, with you…I just feel like we're really getting closer. I don't want anything to ruin that, especially her. The very last thing I'm thinking about when we're together is Lilly."

The corner of her mouth tugged up. "Since we're sharing, I need to tell you something. Don't freak out."

"What?" He had to tell himself not to squeeze her hand too hard.

"Duncan and I talked yesterday. He wants to be in a secret relationship with me and is a big proponent of birth control now, apparently. Said he wants us to go to college in the East together. It was bizarre."

He pulled his hand from hers and involuntarily made fists, resting them against his chin. "I'm gonna fucking kill him."

"No! I think it must be his medication. I agree with you, he's not all there. It's… sad. He needs help."

"If I didn't think he were crazy, I'd go right now and break his nose. Maybe his arm, too." He couldn't sit still, so he walked around the side of the table and leaned against it. _Of course_ , after everything they'd been through, Duncan would try to steal Veronica. Some best friend he was.

"Logan." Her voice was soothing. "I think you should talk to Jake or Celeste. You're the only one he has outside of them. No one else cares."

"What am I supposed to say? 'Hey, guys, I think Duncan's off his rocker. Maybe it's time for you to drop him off at a psychiatric hospital for an extended visit.' "

"I don't know… maybe?"

"Well I can't talk to Celeste. Maybe Jake. I'll think about it. What's the next question?"

He was thankful she didn't push it and let him change the subject. She read, "Your house, containing everything you own, catches fire. After saving your loved ones and pets, you have time to safely make a final dash to save any one item. What would it be? Why?"

He knew instantly and without hesitation what it would be. A picture of them at Big Sur, taken in the morning, right after breakfast, from the balcony in their room. Veronica smiling broadly at the camera, looking goofy showing gums, with him looking down at her adoringly. He was afraid to tell her, though.

_Fuck it. I'm just going to say it…_

"I have a picture of us in Big Sur in my room. I'd save that."

He watched her carefully, nervously, and held his breath until she looked over at him, smiling and said, "Me, too."

And he was awestruck, and dumbstruck, and lovestruck and so, so grateful to the universe for that moment. He got up and walked around to her side of the table, picked her up, sat down with her on his lap and kissed her, librarian be damned.

She giggled, actually fucking giggled, when they broke apart. And that was maybe the happiest moment of his entire life. Right there, in the Neptune High library, with Veronica giggling on his lap and random students shushing them.

_Freeze time. Right now._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I know it's been a long wait for this. I'm using life as an excuse. Also holidays. Wishing all of you the very happiest of those. Next up, first date and 70's dance...


	23. Day 25

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning for mentions of rape.

**Day 25**

Veronica's head was in the clouds. It wasn't a familiar feeling but it'd been one hellacious year so she decided to go with it. She had all the textbook symptoms: couldn't eat, couldn't sleep, couldn't concentrate, and a family of butterflies had taken up residence in her stomach. She chalked it up to teenage hormones and wondered how long she'd feel this way – so very _unlike_  herself.

She told herself this was normal. That she was experiencing what teenagers 'round the world do when they become romantically attached.

But the emotions she felt were new and more than a little terrifying. Not just the emotions, the physical stuff as well. Sex with Logan was maybe, possibly on the horizon for maybe, possibly that very night. What was it he'd said? That he didn't put out _before_ the first date? Which was completely ludicrous, and they both knew it. But he'd never said he wouldn't put out _on_ the first date. And she wanted him, badly, in a way she didn't fully comprehend. Their attraction defied logic and reason. But it was big and real and absolute, and completely beyond her control.

After her rape, the idea of sex had lost the magical, dreamy quality it once had. Since she'd been with Logan, it was more of a primal urge. For a virgin, sex was one of life's great mysteries and she was ready to be in the know. No more outside looking in. No more wondering.

But before the possible sex, there was a definite date she'd need to be ready for. She scowled as her eyes fell to the costume splayed across her bed. Costume shopping the week of the 70's dance had been a mistake. All of the sexy costumes, the Wonder Womans and Farrah Fawcetts and Bo Dereks had been claimed by Madison and her ilk. Even Dorothy Hamill was off the table. What was available was NOT her first choice for tempting Logan. She slipped it on and looked down at herself. Her fingertips and face were the only parts of her body not covered by material. Not to mention her wig. The ridiculously unsexy styling of her wig...

 _If_ _h_ e _still_   _wants me after seeing me like this, I'll know it's more than just physical attraction on his part._

Earlier, they'd gone for a repeat performance during their second period "date." Veronica thought she might never be able to hear new-age music again without thinking of Logan's mouth between her thighs. It was a warm, fuzzy, spine-tingling thought that immediately prompted her to write a note in bold Sharpie letters: _Buy_ _Yanni_ _CD_   _ASAP_. She stuck the note on her closed laptop screen and re-checked her makeup, deciding to apply another coat of mascara.

_At least with this costume, I can wear normal makeup.   And I have more than enough room under it to hide my taser... and a spare elephant if I happen to run across one._

 

* * *

 

Logan was seven minutes early. He sat in the low-slung seat, tapping his fingers on the steering wheel, the engine rumbling in Veronica's lot, and attempted some deep breathing exercises to calm his nerves. Inhaling the car's floral scent, thanks to the enormous bouquet of mixed flowers encompassing the entire seat next to him, he held it in and exhaled slowly. He was more nervous about this date than he ever remembered being. He'd spent hours planning the details. He wanted to dazzle her, to soak her in, to basically just _adore_ her all night.

But first… he'd have to get past Keith Mars. He and Veronica had barely talked about her dad over the last few weeks. He had no idea what she'd told him about their relationship over the past year. If she were only partially honest, the man would be well within his rights to throw him off the premises. For his part, he had his own opinions about Keith's parenting - or lack thereof - so he wasn't particularly optimistic about their first discussion in over a year. He gathered his courage and knocked.

"Logan." Keith greeted him with a handshake and polite, if distant, formality. "Come in. Veronica should be out in just a minute."

"Thanks." Logan stepped inside the apartment and white-knuckled the bouquet.

"Have a seat." Keith clapped him on the back and pointed to the chair near the sofa. Keith sat on the sofa nearest him and leaned in with a smile, elbows on knees. "Look, Logan. I'm going to cut to the chase because I don't have a lot of time and I suspect Veronica wants our little talk to end as quickly as possible. I know you two have been spending a lot of time together lately. And I hope you know how much I love my daughter?"

_Do you?_

_Then_ _why_ _do you leave her alone so much?  Why do you put her in dangerous situations?  Why didn't you have her transfer school districts last year to give her a new start?   How about a part-time job at the mall like a normal teenager?  And what about her obsession with Lilly?  Do you know about that?  Are you the reason she hasn't moved past it?_

_Yeah, you're not exactly Father of the Year so... whatever, dude._

"I assume you do."

Keith's eyebrows raised and his tone changed from politely formal to sternly warning. "Bottom line is, I expect Veronica to be treated with respect. If I ever find out that she isn't treated in the way she deserves, you can expect a visit from me. That won't be a fun occasion. Are we clear?"

Logan smirked. "Crystal."

Keith clearly had more on his mind so he continued. "I don't know the full extent of what happened between you two last year, but I do know she was deeply hurt by your actions. Now…she has chosen to date you and I have chosen to support that because she's been… happier lately. But I don't have to agree with her choices. Ball's in your court to convince me she's making the right decision."

_Like risking my life to save hers?  Stay calm.  Don't fight with him before the first date._

"I only want the best for Veronica. I think we're finally able to keep the past where it belongs and focus on the future."

Keith leaned back on the sofa, slightly appeased. "That's good to hear. What are your plans for tonight? I take it a costume party of some sort?"

"70's dance at the school. Dinner first."

"And after the dance?"

"The dance ends at 11. I was planning on taking Veronica for ice cream after and then home."

"I see. Make sure you do that, Logan."

"I will."

Veronica cleared her voice in the hallway and Logan looked up.

He didn't know why he was surprised by her costume choice. He should've known he couldn't keep a secret from her. She probably bugged his room or interviewed his domestic staff or something. She was nothing if not resourceful. Oh well, it was honestly pretty damn cute how it all worked out. Coordinating costumes and all.

He rose to greet her with a smile. "So you sleuthed it out, huh?"

The right corner of her mouth turned up. "Nope."

"So this is?" He motioned between them.

"Coincidence."

He huffed a laugh. "No way. It's fate." She was right next to him now, and he had to remind himself not to touch her in front of her dad.

Her hand wrapped around his on the bouquet. "Are those for me?"

He nodded.

"Well, they're beautiful." She turned the bouquet around to see it. It was bigger than the width of her body. "Are there any flowers left in Neptune?"

"Just the ugly ones."

"You didn't have to do this," she said, with affection.

"I know." He shrugged. "Just wanted to make a good first impression."

Logan thought he saw Keith physically recoil on the couch.

_Good.  I don't like you either._

He contemplated laying a big, wet smooch on Veronica to taunt him.

Veronica turned to her dad. "Dad, would you mind?" Logan couldn't resist placing a hand territorially on her lower back as she held the flowers out for her dad.

"Sure, I'll find a vase for those. But we might need more than one," Keith said, taking the flowers from her and acting like he couldn't hold them up. "Have a good time tonight," he told them.

Keith couldn't possibly have sounded more insincere.

 

* * *

 

Logan held her hand as he escorted her, with the occasional jaunty skip and spin, to his car. He led her not to an Xterra but to a glorious, mint-condition Corvette Stingray painted a sleek, glossy silver. If she didn't want to fuck him before, she certainly did now. It was sex on wheels.

"Oh my God."

"I know. It's pretty amazing."

"Where did you get this?"

"Dad. He bought it from Leno last year. Never let me drive it, though, before tonight. I think he likes you. He thinks you're a good influence."

She ran her finger along the curve of the hood above the wheel well. Even the shape of it was sensual. "This is too much."

"Nonsense. Nothing's too much for you." He held the passenger door open, making sure her dress was fully inside before closing the door.

When he got in she asked, "So what year is this baby?"

"'78"

"I can't believe our first date is in a 70's muscle car."

His eyes searched hers, nervously, she thought, but he flashed a quick smile and said, "Most people would refer to this as a sports car, not a muscle car. But, since it's you, and I happen to like you, I'll let it slide."

She wanted to tell him he needn't have bothered with the flowers or the car or whatever else he may have planned. He left a good impression by just being him, no extravagances required. But she knew Logan had a romantic streak a mile-wide and enjoyed big, over-the-top gestures. The wooing, as it were. She may be a cold bitch, but not cold enough not to appreciate the effort. So instead of arguing, she just thanked him, and decided to talk with him later about her uneasiness over their financial disparities. She didn't want him for his money and she wasn't one-hundred percent sure he knew that, deep down. She wasn't some girl from the wrong side of the tracks trying to get him to blow a fortune on her.

As he drove, she couldn't help worrying about dinner. She didn't know what he'd planned and wasn't thrilled about the idea of eating in public in her costume.

_Oh, God.  If I have to go into a restaurant dressed like this..._

When he pulled into the driveway of his house, his hand found hers, and he gave her a lopsided grin. "Don't worry, no one's here. I wasn't sure about your costume and I didn't want you to feel uncomfortable eating out. So my mom said we could come here."

When he opened the door to the pool house living room, she took in her surroundings and her heart quickly melted into a puddle of goo. She couldn't believe the trouble he went to for their date. Soft 70's music was coming from built-in speakers, Don Henley welcomed her to the Hotel California, candles flickered on a table for two, a fire was burning in the fireplace, and a giant spread of food was laid out... "Is that... _fondue_?"

"All the rage in the '70's, apparently. There's, ah, a few different ones... broth for the meat, cheese for the bread, and a chocolate fondue with fruit for dessert."

"Logan," she said looking around, "This is just..."

His chin touched his chest and he pursed his lips. "Too much, right?"

She turned around to face him. "No, it's perfect. I have the most thoughtful, romantic boyfriend."

"You really like it?" He asked, looking at her with unmasked hope.

She jumped into his arms and practically attacked him. "Yes. I love it," she repeatedly told him in between kisses as they fell in a heap on the sofa by the fire.

When they took a breather, he said, "Let's eat. If we don't stop kissing, we may not make it to the dance."

"And that would be bad?" She asked, peppering kisses across his jaw. Because even though their costumes matched, hers the epitome of frumpiness, Logan, naturally, was drool-worthy in his ensemble. Muscles popped under the tight shirt and vest. The belt holding his weapon slung low on his hips, stretching down to a thigh holster. The entire thing was just working for her on a lot of levels.

"Yep. I want everyone to see us together tonight. We can go for a little while, slow dance and grope each other inappropriately until the chaperones tell us to stop, then leave and... come back here if you want to? Or wherever, we can go for ice cream or something... it, ah, really doesn't matter to me." He rubbed the back of his neck.

"Back here sounds great." She took his free hand in both of hers and kissed it sweetly and was rewarded with one of Logan's soft, secret smiles that he reserved for her alone.

 

* * *

 

On the way into the dance, she said, "You know, this is our first official date, but doesn't it seem like we've been dating a really long time?"

_Yes.  For years, in a way.  Definitely every day over the last month._

"Yeah, it does. Second period definitely felt like a date," he said with a pointed look. "Not to mention our detention."

** **FLASHBACK** **

She giggled as he yanked her skirt up to her hip to get a better view.

"Stop. It tickles."

"Hold still or you'll ruin it," he said, concentrating on her thigh.

"This is like the fourth tattoo you've given me. What about the art closet?"

"Fuck the art closet. Those kids won't even keep it clean for half a day. The art teacher won't even know as long as we sort of tidy up. We have plenty of time."

She squirmed on the floor and he held her leg firmly. "No moving!"

He knew she was trying to keep still but he was making little squiggles with the tips of the markers on her skin. To distract her, he asked, "What are you thinking about?"

"Ways to get you back for this."

He finished and said, "There. Done." He looked her leg over, pleased with his handiwork. Fake tattooing Veronica's pale skin was surprisingly satisfying. Before he'd drawn each one, he'd asked her if it would show on their date. He wanted them covered, only for his eyes. And she assured him, every time, that they would be.

_So her costume covers her hip, thigh, between her shoulder blades, and upper arm._

He pointed out other spots - forearm, ankle, breast, stomach, ass.

Each time, she promised they wouldn't show. The news was somewhat disappointing, obviously her costume wasn't reavealing. On the bright side, he could basically cover her head-to-toe in marker.

"Hmm. What's next then?" He sealed a kiss on top of his latest drawing, as he'd done with each one before.

"Do I get to draw one on you?"

"Sorry, not with your artistic ability. And you have the most amazing, creamy skin just begging for some ink and so many beautiful spaces left for me to draw."

"Will the marker come off on my clothes?"

He tried to smudge it with his thumb. "Don't think so. Just don't shower. I want to think about these under your costume while you're in my arms tonight at the dance."

"I'm planning on showering before our date. So you better enjoy the view right now."

She got up and stripped her down to her bra and panties, striking a pose, and he feasted his eyes. She wouldn't let him touch her, though. Payback, he supposed, for the tickling.

** **END FLASHBACK** **

"Did you wash them all off?" he said, rubbing the spot on her upper arm where he drew a vine with flowers circling her bicep.

"That, my dear Logan, remains a mystery. Something you'll have to investigate later." She took two steps ahead of him and called back, "If I let you."

And he knew for certain in that moment that Veronica Mars was the sexiest, cleverest, most alluring, most infuriating, most _everything_ girl (woman) he would ever know.

They entered the dance and were met with a sea of hushed tones and stares. The girls held hands to faces, whispering vitriol to their friends and their friends responded in kind. Logan was used to living in the spotlight. He'd become somewhat immune to gossip. Veronica was tough, too, of course, and had lived through worse. But it didn't feel right that they, _she_ , would be scrunitized and ridiculed on this night, of all nights.

It wasn't shaping up to be the perfect dance he'd hoped for and before he knew what he was doing, his feet were moving to the stage where the DJ was. He hopped up and grabbed the nearest mic, turned it on, and said, "Hey Neptune High. I see many of you have thoughts about my date tonight. You know, Veronica's not just my date, she's my girlfriend. It's old news, people. Get over it. So, I welcome you to enjoy yourselves. And if I see or hear any of you gossiping about us tonight or ever, really, I personally will ensure your life will become a living hell. Anyone want to try me? No? Great, then I suggest you get to dancing. I plan on doing that now with my girlfriend."

He hopped off the stage, looked around at the startled faces, motioned for everyone to dance, and they obliged. He smiled shyly at Veronica as he found her standing where he left her, in the dark by the gym entrance. "Care to dance?"

She grabbed his outstretched hand like a lifeline, placed a kiss on his cheek, and followed him to the dance floor. They were swaying to the sounds of Clapton's "Wonderful Tonight," and Logan could feel Veronica's heart beating wildly underneath her dress. He whispered in her ear, "Was that okay?"

She responded with a nod, no words, but she placed her hand on his chest over his heart - _her_ _spot_ \- looked up at him, and he thought, fleetingly, when he saw her expression, _she_ _loves_ _me._

He dismissed it as wishful thinking and his fingers tightened marginally on her hips.

As the song came to a close, they were locked in an intense round of soul-staring, and Wallace approached them. When Veronica finally noticed him, after he tapped her shoulder twice, she pulled away from Logan and gave Wallace a quick hug. Logan said, "I'll leave you two to catch up. Would you like a drink, Veronica?"

Wallace, dressed as Muhammad Ali, complete with white boxing shorts with black trim, championship belt, and a white silk robe, said, "Actually, I came over to say hey. That was... cool, man," he said, gesturing to the stage. "I guess it's time we get to know each other. Maybe we can team up to figure out how to deal with this one. She's not always so easy to handle."

Logan said with a chuckle, "Yeah, of course. I'd like that."

Wallace shook his hand and said to Veronica. "Have fun."

"Thanks, Wallace." Then she leaned to whisper something in his ear and he squeezed her hand before nodding and leaving them alone.

"Let's get that drink," she said, happily.

 

* * *

  

As they sipped the vile bright pink punch, Veronica asked, "Did you happen to bring anything to give this a little kick?"

_Cause I might need a tiny, little bit of liquid courage for later._

"Sorry. Haven't you heard? I barely do anything bad anymore. I've been reformed."

"So you're just a regular boy scout now, huh?"

He nodded and spun on one heel to fully face her. "I've been in intensive counseling every day for the last month. Really made me evaluate some of my life choices."

"That so?"

"Yep. Helped to turn my life around."

"Well, that must be some fantastic counselor."

"Nah. It's not the counselor. Though she does fill out a sweater quite nicely..."

Veronica slugged him, hard, on the arm. Her knuckles hurt but he didn't even flinch.

He took her hand, laughing, and rubbed over her sore knuckles. "It's my partner. She's kind of opened my eyes to-"

"Being good?"

"More like being honest."

"Anything else?"

"Oh, lots of other things. But, since this is our first date, maybe we shouldn't delve into my innermost thoughts just yet. I don't want to scare you away." He brought a hand to her face and ran his thumb tentatively across her cheek, "My feelings run... _deep_."

_Lord help me.  Isn't it time to get out of here?  Back to his place?  Shit, it's only been one song and fifteen minutes.  God, it's hot in here.  This dress is making me sweat.  All this polyester doesn't breathe._

"You're assuming there will be a second date?" She tried to play it cool.

"Well, I have been on my very best behavior."

She narrowed her eyes and wrinkled her nose. "Maybe I like you a little bad. Too good doesn't do it for me."

He wrapped both arms around her. "It's like you can read my mind," he said, leaning down for a lingering kiss.

"How long do you want to stay?" Her voice was a whole-lot breathy.

And he looked so damn smug, like he knew exactly what he was doing to her. "Two more dances, okay. But they have to be good songs."

They both saw Duncan enter the gym at the same time, since the refreshment table was right next to the entrance. Duncan scanned the crowd until his eyes landed on them.

_No way.  No freakin way.  Is the universe playing a joke?  Is Lilly?  He is not dressed like..._

Veronica saw Duncan's eyes widen a bit, then he started laughing to himself, shaking his head. He bent over to catch his breath. Veronica looked up at Logan, concerned, then back to Duncan who had run out of the gym.

"That was weird." Logan said. "Did you see who he was dressed as?"

"Yeah."

"Small world," he said, staring off into space.

Veronica was determined not to let Duncan ruin their night. She put a hand on his back and said, "I think they're playing our song."

He listened to the beginning notes, taking a second to recognize it, and broke out into a little grin. "I believe you're right."

They made their way to the dance floor accompanied by Rod Stewart crooning, "Tonight's the Night." Logan swept her up in his arms and said with authority, "We're leaving after this one."

 _Thank_ _God_.

 

* * *

  

No sooner had Logan's hands found a warm home on the round curve of Veronica's ass - he did promise inappropriate groping, after all - than Dick suddenly and unfortunately appeared, breathing hard. Dick placed an arm around each of them and said in a low voice, "Duncan's on the roof. He's threatening to jump unless..." Dick looked between them.

"Unless?" Veronica prompted with urgency.

"Unless you go up there and talk to him," Dick told her.

Logan took a step back. "What? No. Call the cops."

_Not Veronica.  Not tonight.  Not Duncan, either, for that matter.  Please, God.  No more death._

"Beaver's calling them. But, Duncan seems..." Dick trailed off. "I think he might be serious."

Veronica looked at Logan, and he could tell by that one look that she was going straight for the roof. "Please don't do this, Veronica. He's crazy."

"It's Duncan, Logan. Your lifelong best friend. Are you honestly telling me you'd rather he commit suicide?"

"No. Of course I don't want that. Fuck! If you're going, then I'm going up there with you."

They reached the access ladder for the roof located around the side of the gym. Veronica eyed the ladder suspiciously. Logan knew she wasn't a fan of heights since she'd had a scary incident on a high-dive when she was nine. Something Duncan should've remembered.

"Just do it one step at a time and don't look down. I'll be right behind you."

She carefully climbed each step. Logan was thankful their costumes came with boots. Any other shoes wouldn't have worked on the rickety ladder.

Almost halfway up, Duncan peered over at them from the top of the gym roof.

"No Logan! Only Veronica can come up. If you take another step, I'll jump."

Logan pleaded with Veronica to climb back down with him. That he'd make sure she didn't fall. That the police were on their way. That Duncan's parents were coming to help him. That everything would be fine. That their date didn't have to be ruined. He tried every argument he could think of. She called down to him, "I have to do this, I can't watch him jump," and kept climbing to the top.

And his heart broke into a million tiny little pieces when she did that. Because she chose Duncan over him. Just like he always feared - _knew_ \- she would.

Logan watched Duncan pull Veronica up next to him and then Duncan sat down on the roof, his feet dangling over the ladder. Logan was still frozen to his spot a quarter of the way up.

What the fuck is he doing?

Duncan yelled to him, "Turn around and go down now. I'm not going to hurt her. I just want to talk. If you take one more step up, I'm going to start sawing the ladder."

_Oh, Jesus.  How the hell did he get..._

"You have a saw?" If he wasn't panicked before (he was), he was completely out of his mind with fear now. He knew he couldn't take Duncan from his precarious position on the ladder, especially if Duncan had a weapon.

"Maintenance man left it up here," he said holding it up. "Just, please, give us ten minutes." Duncan sounded like some of the fight was leaving him. He came off as weary and desperate.

Veronica looked down at Logan. "It's okay. I'll be down soon." She covertly pointed to her thigh, reminding him of her taser.

_Only Veronica brings a taser to school dances and first dates._

He knew she'd never be able to climb down that ladder. The only way she'd come down was through the stair access on the side of the roof.

"Throw the saw down in the bushes and I'll go back down."

_C'mon Duncan.  This isn't you.  This is NOT you.  Get rid of the saw._

Logan's heart was in his throat while he waited for Duncan to decide. After an interminable minute, Duncan looked around to make sure no one was below him and tossed it.

"I told you I'm not going to hurt her," he said. Logan was so far below them, he barely heard him.

 

* * *

 

When Logan was safely back on the ground, Duncan was quiet for a bit, just looking at Veronica. Eventually, he said, "You look beautiful. You're wearing white again. Just like that night."

"Just like what night?"

He threw his hands up. "Are we still pretending it didn't happen? I don't want to pretend anymore, Veronica."

_He doesn't mean?_

"Are you talking about... Shelly's party?" Her voice was incredulous.

"Yeah. White was always your color. Sometimes I dream about you in that white dress."

_No._

_No no no. It wasn't Duncan, was it? And if it was, is that better or worse than some stranger? Or strangers?_

Veronica walked to the middle of the roof, as far away from any edges as she could. She crossed her arms and faced him. "Are you trying to tell me that we..."

"Are you saying you don't remember?"

"I was drugged that night, Duncan. I have no memory of it."

"Nothing? Not even of us making love!?"

_Oh God._

_Oh God._

_It was._

_It was Duncan._

_All this time, it was Duncan._

_Now isn't the time to lose it, Veronica. Wait until you are off this roof._

"Nothing. Tell me what happened."

"Logan was lining up guys to do body shots on you and I stopped it, Veronica. _I_ stopped it. Not Logan, me. I rescued you and led you away."

"And then we..."

"No. I was heading to a bedroom with you because you were so drunk, I thought at the time, and Dick told me he'd help. He ended up carrying you in and I'd had a lot to drink, at that point, too, so my memories are fuzzy for a little while. But later that night, I found you there."

"Sleeping?"

"No, when I came in you woke up. You said, 'You're here,' like you were so happy to see me. You told me you missed me. And we made love. It was perfect. Everything I'd ever dreamed of. And you were a fully willing participant."

"So you're telling me, I was conscious?"

He gripped his hair and teared up. "Christ, yes, you were conscious. I don't go around having sex with unconscious girls. Do you honestly think I'd do that... after everything we'd been through. I love you!"

"Loved, you mean."

"Love! Present tense."

"Then why did you leave me alone?" She cried, "I woke up thinking I was raped. You could've stayed and explained."

Duncan walked away from the edge and sat down by Veronica's feet in the middle of the roof, hugging his knees. Veronica heard sirens in the distance, coming nearer. With Duncan in the middle, she felt safer going to the edge to see what was going on below. Most of the kids from the dance were down there, though she couldn't spot Logan in the crowd.

_Great. Another reason to gossip about me._

"You know, your costume is perfect tonight for more than one reason."

"Why? Cause you, me, and Logan all match?"

He looked anguished. She'd never seen him this upset. He was stoic at Lilly's funeral. Distant and unmoving. Now it was nothing but grief on his face. "Luke and Leia are brother and sister."

"So?"

"So it really couldn't have been better if it were scripted, Veronica. I'm Luke. You're Leia. And Logan's Han, the one Leia really wants."

_I thought I was done with shocking news tonight. He couldn't honestly mean?_

"What are you trying to say? That I'm-"

"You're my sister. My half-sister. Your mom and my dad."

_WHAT? What? What? He's... He's saying... that he thought I was his sister and he still slept with me?_

She started crying, tears pouring down her face. "So THAT's why you didn't stay that night? Why you broke up with me?"

"Yes."

She swallowed over the giant lump in her throat, trying to understand all of this. There was so much to process. Too much. All this time, he'd thought they were related. Through the terrible break-up and year-plus of dead silence. When Lilly died. When Logan and company tried to ruin her life. And he'd never said a word about it. Fuck him. FUCK HIM.

"But you said you still want us to be together," she said through her tears.

"I know. I need help. I'm so fucked up," he sobbed.

_Oh my God. So that's what the birth control comment was. Ew ew ew ew. But..._

_But..._

_I have the Mars toes and earlobes and thirst for knowledge. Short stature and quick mind. God, what else ties me to my dad? Think goddammit! Pale sin? Round head? Ability to roll my "r"s? There's got to be something concrete. Something to make this horrible, awful accusation untrue. Fuck. Please._

And then an eerie calm settled over her as she remembered...

_Blood type... Right. My blood type! Thank God for my rare blood type._

"I'm not your sister, Duncan. Let me guess, Celeste told you so you'd stop dating me?"

"Yeah, she did. She showed me pictures of our parents from back in high school when they dated. Then more recent ones from hotels. They've been sleeping together for years."

"That may be true - _is it? God, one more terrible thing to process_ \- but I'm Keith Mars' daughter. Genetically and in every other way."

"Why do you think that?"

"Do you know your father's blood type?"

"No."

"Call him."

"Right now?" He choked.

"Yes."

He shakily dialed Jake's number. Veronica could hear Jake's nervous voice through the phone, trying to convince Duncan to get off the roof. She heard most of their brief exchange. Duncan hung up on Jake after getting his blood type.

"He's type O."

"Then I can say with 100% certainty that he is not my father."

"Are you sure? That means I'm not..."

"An incestuous monster?"

_Maybe still a monster. At least not incestuous._

"Yeah."

"I'm sure. I have type B negative. It's very rare. Less than 2% of the U.S. population has it. I did a science project on blood types in middle school. I had to find out my parents' types and chart them with mine. My mom was type A. My dad was type B."

"Oh my God. After all this time. All I needed to do was talk to you?"

"Just goes to show, honesty is the best policy, Duncan. And I'm getting off this roof now."

She went to the far end to the stairwell door but it was locked. She pounded on it and heard a muffled voice telling her to hang on, the police were coming up to unlock it.

_Hang on. Almost time to lose it. Just let me get home. Let me get into the shower. Let my dad have gone to work. Let me get off this God forsaken white dress._

She pulled the Leia wig off and dropped it on the roof as the police burst through the door.

 

* * *

 

He saw her from the car. She wandered through the crowd, looking for him.

She was alive, so he could breathe again.

He was tired of feeling relief over that thought. Because it shouldn't be a surprise to find one's teenage girlfriend alive and kicking. It should be fucking expected.

After the police had come, he couldn't bear to watch for a body to fall any more. It was too much for him to handle. Before they arrived, he'd debated a thousand times about going up there to save her. But something in Duncan's tone stopped him. Hopelessness? If Logan went up, and Duncan pushed Veronica off in retaliation, well, he'd never be able forgive himself. And if Duncan jumped instead, Veronica would never forgive him. It was a no-win situation. So he hid out in his car, away from the inane chatter of his classmates, waiting and holding his breath, eyes on the roof, praying they both came down in one piece.

He called out to her from the parking lot and she came over, teary-eyed. And he thought, again, about breaking all of Duncan Kane's bones slowly and systematically. After he hugged him. Cause even though Duncan may be crazy, he was still Duncan. There would always be some love there, at least on Logan's part.

"You're alright?" He asked, deliberately keeping distance between them.

She seemed so small and helpless to him just then. Funny how looks were deceiving. How she could look like that and completely destroy him without a second thought.

"Yeah. Can you just take me home?"

"Get in."

It seemed to dawn on her then that things weren't okay with them.

They were silent on the drive to her apartment. Veronica cried the whole way, quietly. He wouldn't have known if it weren't for the oncoming cars illuminating a stray tear every now and then. He just didn't have it in him to comfort her.

"You're mad at me?" She finally asked.

He let that go unanswered until they were parked in her lot.

"I'm not mad. I'm hurt."

The way she looked at him then, he didn't understand. Something major had happened on the roof. Something she should share with him, goddammit, if she wanted a relationship with him.

"Let's just take the weekend to think about things," she sniffed and wiped her eyes.

And, yeah, he figured that was coming.

But she did a double-take when he told her, "I agree."


	24. Day 25 - Part 2

**Day 25 – Part 2**

He didn't agree.

Even as the words left his mouth, he knew he didn't agree. He shouldn't have said them but it was too late now. He willed her to stay and talk to him. To tell him what the fuck just happened. But she clearly wasn't in the mood for sharing so he stayed silent. Defeated. Defiant.

Shutting the car door quietly, she glanced back at him, looking broken, before going up to her apartment. He waited to make sure she got in okay before taking off, spinning out of the parking lot and testing out the Stingray's acceleration for the first time, feeling the rush as the needle inched up. He cranked up the radio, and thought someone up there – probably Lilly - had a really demented sense of humor because as Elton John sang the tortured opening line, " _What have I got to do to make you love me,"_ Logan choked back a sob.

What indeed, Elton. What indeed.

The promise of sweet oblivion from whatever he could steal from the liquor cabinet without getting caught called to him. His mom had been on a vodka kick lately. There were probably a few extra bottles stashed somewhere he could pilfer. If not, he knew where his dad kept the good whiskey. He was going to make a little picnic of pills and booze and, God willing, sleep through the rest of the weekend.

By Monday, Veronica and Duncan would be back together. He'd have to face them being all lovey-dovey in the halls, making moony-eyes at each other. Duncan would kiss her cheek and she'd laugh and tuck her hand into the crook of his elbow and he'd lead her around the school like Neptune royalty.

_I'll need to self-medicate to get through it._

He got back to an empty house, his parents were in L.A. for a charity dinner and were staying there for weekend. He felt weak for admitting to himself that he wished his mom were home. She'd hug him and tell him she loved him. It wasn't much, but it was something. All he had, really.

The pool house was still set up for a 1970's seduction, including a bottle of Rosé chilling in the fridge for Christ's sake, so he avoided it. In his room, he stripped off his Han Solo costume and left it in a pile on the floor. Flopping down on his bed, he pulled a pillow over his head and let the tears come. He was a fool for thinking he and Veronica could ever really work.

The biggest fucking fool in the world.

* * *

She undressed and was in the shower before she could count to ten. She turned the temperature to scalding and stood in the spray, thinking, while her skin turned pink.

Betrayed. That's how she felt. Betrayed by Duncan, by Lilly, by her mom, even her dad. Because there was no way that Keith Mars, the best detective in the entire state of California, didn't know about her mom's affair with Jake Kane. No. Way. So the people she loved most had lied to her for years. YEARS.

Lilly knew, she _knew_ (!), why Duncan broke up with her. How could she have said nothing about it? They'd shared everything with each other, hadn't they? And then Lilly died thinking Veronica was her sister. Veronica was despondent for weeks when Duncan dumped her without a reason. Completely wrecked. All Lilly would've had to have said was something about Lianne and Jake dating in high school. Planting that one little seed would have been enough to get Veronica to start digging.

_Maybe I never really knew Lilly at all. If she hid something like this, what else did she hide?_

Of course, Veronica should've known herself. That may be what hurt most of all. She'd prided herself on being some sort of investigator. That was a laugh. She couldn't even see what was right in front of her eyes. Hell, the first time she'd met Lilly and Duncan when she was seven, it'd been at the beach. A beach her mom had taken her to and they just "happened" to meet Jake, Lilly, and Duncan there. A beach that, she now realized, was private, deserted, and likely belonged to one of Jake's friends.

There had been run-ins like that over the years. And it never struck her as strange that it was always her mom and Jake accompanying the kids. Never Celeste or her dad. There was even a weekend at the Hotel Coronado once. Jesus.

Did her mom ever question whether Veronica was Jake's? Did her dad? Did they anxiously await the results of her middle school project on blood types, Lianne praying for some sort of plausible outcome?

Because not once had her mom dissuaded her from dating Duncan. Not once. In fact, her mom was ecstatic that she'd landed the "catch of the school." So she was just going to have to trust that her mom knew her true paternity. Because Lianne didn't have many positive attributes, but even she wouldn't have encouraged her daughter to be in an incestuous relationship. Veronica hoped.

And last but certainly not least, Duncan. God, she couldn't believe she'd had sex with him. When they were dating, he'd never even kissed her below the mouth. Never even touched her below her clothes. Not even when she told him he could. Not even when she asked him to! It was completely out-of-character for him. To go from nothing to... everything AFTER they'd broken up. AFTER he'd broken her heart. She tried to understand it. What would have caused him to lose control like that?

_Maybe he has some kind of sister kink? Oh my God, was he attracted to Lilly? Ew. Ew. Ew._

She started scrubbing, hard, with soap at every available inch of skin. She bent down to scrub her legs and saw the ink on her upper thigh. His name in black cursive. She stopped scrubbing and gently touched it. _Logan._

She probably messed things up for good with him tonight. After he'd been so… incredibly perfect. She'd hurt him by following Duncan to the roof. She knew the moment she kept climbing that ladder that Logan might not forgive her, Duncan being his "hot-button issue" and all. But what was she supposed to do? Let him die without doing what she could to save him?

The easy way Logan had agreed to take the weekend to think, maybe he was just done with her. Finished with her drama and danger and baggage. She didn't intend for them to take a break, just for her to have a few days of space to decompress, but it probably didn't sound that way to him. She should've made herself clearer but she was still processing the whole sex-with-Duncan-when-he-thought-we-shared-a-father situation.

She ran her fingers over the other tattoos. A magnifying glass on her hip. A vine on her upper arm. A tiny taser on her ankle. A ridiculous picture of a pony on her forearm. And there was one she hadn't seen yet. The one between her shoulder blades. She'd forgotten all about it when she got dressed in her Leia costume. Back when she'd made herself chuckle about her plan to get Leia'd. Back when she looked forward to hearing Logan laugh at her lame joke. Back when life was less fucked up.

She finished showering and wiped the fogged up mirror with a hand towel, spinning to see if the tattoo was there or if the ink had washed down the drain. She held up a hand mirror in front of her and gasped when she saw the image on her back, still perfectly drawn. A daisy with all but one petal pulled off. The other petals were lying in the shape of a messy heart in grass, scattered artfully around the stem.

The tears came again. This time of regret, not shock.

_If he's trying to tell me he loves me, then it's time to fix this before it's too late._

* * *

Breaking in was easy. The Neptune School District desperately needed to invest in better security. The cameras at the entrance didn't even work. The whole job took five minutes, in and out. The school was still open for the remaining stragglers from the dance who weren't put off by the near-suicide attempt and subsequent brouhaha.

She went in the front with her hoodie up, picked the lock to the outer office, then picked the lock to Ms. James' office. Once inside, she knew what she needed. The letters were in a stack in an unlocked desk drawer. Veronica grabbed the ones she wrote for Logan, her neat printing on each outer envelope bearing his name. She stood there for a second and looked at the envelopes next to those.

_Don't take them, they aren't yours to take. Don't do it, Veronica. Resist temptation. RESIST!_

She heaved a sigh, used a fingertip to trace over her name in Logan's somewhat loopy script, and snatched them despite herself.

_Who am I kidding? I am what I am._

* * *

After a half-hour of brooding and only two shots, Logan abandoned his plan to get miserably wasted in his bedroom by himself in favor of getting spectacularly wasted in Mexico with his friends. It was less pathetic, he told himself. Less like a whiny little girl with a broken heart. He threw clothes into a bag and speed dialed Dick, leaving several messages that went unanswered. Even if Dick couldn't leave tonight, he knew he'd be able to go in the morning. Dick was completely and totally down for Mexico anytime anyone had the urge to go. Logan found comfort in Dick's reliability.

If he had to wait until morning to leave, he would, but it wouldn't be his first choice. He wanted to get on the road, get the party started, have some woo-hoo good times, and get seriously fucked-up. He imagined finding a long-legged Mexican brunette with giant tits and an easy smile to relieve some tension. He knew he wouldn't actually cheat, he and Veronica were technically still together – _weren't they? -_ but it lifted his spirits marginally to think about his options.

The doorbell rang and Logan practically ran to it, expecting to find Dick and Beaver and other random rich boys in need of a weekend of debauchery. But all of his faux-enthusiasm died as he opened the door to find Veronica, face scrubbed clean, hair slightly shower-damp, dressed in jeans and what looked to be at least two shirts and a jacket. He was just coming around to thinking he could party his way out of his misery. That he could lie to himself long enough that maybe he'd forget the lie eventually.

The venom-laden barbs that popped into his head never made it past his lips because of the way she was looking at him. Wide-eyed and exposed. Fragile. He wanted more than anything just to hold her and forget everything that'd happened since the dance. _Fuck you, Donut._ But maybe she just came to officially break up with him. Why put off till Monday what you could do today, right? It wouldn't be the first time he'd read her wrong. He blurted out, "Veronica?" with his heart in his throat.

And she just rushed him, hugging him to her with her tiny arms wrapped around his ribcage, squeezing hard, so he spun her inside and kicked the door closed with his foot. _Thank God._ He cradled her head with one hand and wrapped the other around the back of her waist, and they stood there clinging to each other.

"You're here." He could hear the relief in his own voice.

She nodded into his chest.

He kissed her hair and tucked her head under his chin. "What happened?"

"A lot," she mumbled, into his shirt.

"Can we talk about it? Should I find a feelings ball?"

She stepped back and faced him. "I think we're past the point of feelings balls. And, yeah, we can talk about everything. But I need you to read these first." She pulled the letters out of her bag and placed them in his hand.

"My letters? We aren't supposed to have these until Monday. How'd you get them?"

"Broke into the school on my way over here."

"Oh. Of course. I should've guessed that," he said, with a one-sided grin. "So did you take only the ones you wrote? Or are the ones I wrote in your bag, too?"

She fidgeted and looked cagey. "I took them all. Just in case you wanted yours…"

"Okay." Because of course she did. He wasn't remotely angry. He wrote them for her, after all.

She shifted her eyes and looked down as she spoke. "Can you just go somewhere else and read those? I'll wait in the living room or something. I just… don't think I can be in the same room with you when you-"

He reached out for her hand. "No, we're supposed to do this together. Let's go somewhere with good memories."

"It's too dark at the beach. So, the pool house?" she asked.

"Sure. You read mine and I read yours. Then we talk, okay?"

She nodded, "Okay."

* * *

They found the pool house just as they'd left it, with remnants of their fondue feast littering the table and kitchen. The fire was dying down so Logan added some logs and stoked it. He pulled some pillows off the sofa and placed them on the floor, clearing a spot for them to sit.

Veronica's nerves were obvious. "Okay we sit back-to-back and open each one at the same time," she said. "And no talking until we've read them all."

Logan agreed and they settled against each other and began reading.

**Week 1**

_Logan,_

_I know I'm supposed to be writing something about myself that you don't know. But you pretty much know everything about me that I'm willing to share so instead, for the purpose of these letters, I'll write whatever I want. In a shocking plot twist to our year-long battle, a battle I still don't understand – you've apologized. Does this mean you're really sorry? Or are you playing some long game to weaken my defenses so you can really lower the boom? If you're planning something, I will make you pay. I have a lot less to lose and a lot more righteous anger fueling me._

_Good luck,_

_Veronica_

* * *

_Dear Veronica,_

_I know I've told you I'm sorry but now you can have it in writing. Show everyone: Logan Echolls apologizes to Veronica Mars. I was wrong. I was an asshole. And I miss you. But I can't keep apologizing. We're stuck. You have to decide whether you can accept my apology or not. You have to decide if I'm worth the risk. I'll be waiting._

_Logan_

_PS: You shouldn't date cops who are three years older than you._

* * *

**Week 2**

_Dear Veronica,_

_Right now you are undercover. Are you wearing the same "business outfit" as earlier this week? Inquiring minds want to know. Today, since I was flying solo in therapy, Counselor Becky thought it would be a good idea for me and her to have a heart-to-heart about us. How we're getting along. Changes in our relationship, yadda yadda yadda. The thing is, I feel like things are getting better with us. Especially since you were willing to save me from that weirdo stalker who showed up at my house. So I want to say thank you. Thank you for giving me a chance to know you again. Thank you for agreeing to come to the Halloween party tonight. I promise I'll do my best to make sure you have fun. It'll be nice to just hang out outside of school again. Sort of like the old days._

_Logan_

* * *

_Logan,_

_So… we kissed at the party on Friday. Then kissed some more. And there was some rubbing of parts of my body against parts of yours. Did you plan that kiss? I was kind of surprised by it, honestly. But it seems like you knew how it would be. And I guess you were right, it was pretty… stimulating. (That's a safe word to describe it, no?) I stayed up all night thinking about it and I realized we're completely wrong for each other. I'm not the girl you think I am. My reputation isn't accurate. And I know the type of girls you usually go for. I've had a sideline seat to your love life for years. You've just had A LOT more experience than me. After we kiss, I think about all the other girls you've been with and whether you kiss them, or touch them, or look at them the same way. I wish I didn't but I do. I think when you take some time to think about it, you'll agree we work best as friends. I'm sorry if I hurt you._

_Veronica_

* * *

**Week 3**

_Dear Logan,_

_Was it only last week that I said we work best as friends? I can hear you laughing in my head. Okay, so I was wrong. I can admit it. Big Sur was amazing. You were amazing. You make me feel amazing. I need to find a thesaurus and look up synonyms for amazing. Here's some: unbelievable, wonderful, marvelous, and awesome. Yeah, any of those would do, too. I'm going to shut up now before I embarrass myself. You know how much I LOVE talking about my feelings._

_Veronica_

* * *

_Dear Veronica,_

_It's been twelve hours since we've kissed and I'm going out of my mind. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't a little worried about whether everything is going to be the same with us when we see each other at school on Monday. You have been known (ahem) to change your mind about us over weekends. I'm keeping the faith, though, that there will be kissing on Monday. And Tuesday. And all foreseeable days in the future. And I'd like to add that from here on out, we need to see each other on Saturdays and Sundays so I don't drive myself insane. At least when you aren't grounded._

_So, um. Big Sur. Imagine me smiling hugely right now. Also maybe some sexy smirking and eyebrow wiggling. My God, I can't believe it even happened. The whole thing feels like a dream. I think the attraction has been building between us for a really long time - it just finally grew too big to ignore. That's the only way I can think to explain it. And no one is more relieved or ecstatic about that than me._

_Veronica, all I want is to be worthy of you. That's my near-term goal. Honestly, it's also my long-term goal._

_I'm going to try. I promise you, I'll try._

_Yours,_

_Logan_

* * *

**Week 4**

_Dear Veronica,_

_It would be an understatement to say I'm excited for our date. Only a few more hours to go. I know you don't understand why but I feel like this is my first real date. With Lilly, we never really went on dates. It was always the four of us together and Lilly wasn't much for romance anyway. So, I'm pretty psyched. I have some surprises planned that I hope you'll like._

_Would you have ever thought we would wind up here at the end of our state-mandated counseling? To quote Shania Twain, and honestly, I try to quote her as much as possible:_ Looks like we made it. Look how far we've come, my baby.

_Note that it was Shania calling you baby, not me. Although, I'm not opposed to cutesy nicknames. Not sure baby fits for you though. Babies are too docile. And from what I've discovered over the last week, you are NOT (thank God!) docile._

_Have I told you anything in these letters about myself that you didn't already know? Sometimes I think you can see right through me. I've always thought that. You've always been the one who knows me best._

_But… there's something I've hidden from everyone. Even you. I've lied about it for as long as I can remember because it's embarrassing and painful to admit. But I feel like we've reached the point where it's time to lay it on the line so here goes. My dad physically abuses me. He has ever since I was eight. In his fucked up mind, he thinks he's helping me to become a stronger man. It's really bad, Veronica. There's rituals involved, and belt whippings, and sometimes cigar burns. Over the years I've had broken bones and more hospital visits than I can count. But please don't feel sorry for me. It's actually been a few months since my dad has done anything major to me so hopefully it's all in the past. I'm telling you this so you can know me, the real me, as our favorite guidance counselor says._

_I want you to know the real me._

_And I want to know the real you. I want to know everything there is. I told you in Big Sur - I want it all with you. And I do. I'm all in._

_Tonight is going to be perfect._

_Yours,_

_Logan_

* * *

_Dear Logan,_

_So tonight's our first official date. I want to apologize in advance for my costume. There were slim pickins at the costume shop. I was hoping to go as Wonder Woman but that honor went to Carrie Bishop. I'm only a little (okay, a lot) bitter. I'll try to restrain myself from retaliating at the dance. But just know my revenge would involve some sort of highly stain-able drink being spilled down the front of her costume. Because if there's anyone who deserves to wield a Lasso of Truth, it's me._

_The whole point of these letters was to reveal a secret of some sort to the other person. I don't think I've done that until now. I'm not one for sugar-coating so I'm just going to come right out with this. I was roofied and raped at Shelly Pomroy's party last year. I was a virgin so… yeah. It was awful. I woke up in the morning with missing underwear and a ripped dress to find someone had painted "Abel, it should have been her" on my car. I went to see the sheriff but he basically laughed me out of his office, saying he couldn't pursue a rape investigation against all of the richest families in town._

_By the time you read this, we will probably have had sex. At least, it seems things are headed that direction based on our second period activities. (Is now a bad time to tell you how much I love second period?) I didn't want you to know about the rape before we slept together so you wouldn't think of me as damaged. I wanted one normal sexual experience, the first-time I will actually remember, without that hanging over me. I hope you can understand that._

_I don't know who did it. Up until now, it's been too painful to pursue. But I've healed emotionally, and finally feel ready to investigate. I hope it's just one person. But, who knows, there may have been more. There may be video or pictures. I spent last year walking around school looking at every guy who'd been at that party and wondering if it was them. The slut rumors didn't help. But now I'm stronger. And now I have you._

_So that's my big secret. You're the only one I've told. Not my dad. Not Wallace. Just you. I hope you realize that means I trust you. I really do, Logan. But I'm asking you not to treat me differently now that you know. I don't think I could take pity from you. I'm really, truly okay. I need you to know that. And I can't wait for our date._

_Veronica_

* * *

When they put the last letters down, Veronica wiped her eyes on her jacket sleeve. Logan scooted around so he was facing her and held her hands in both of his.

"Can I hug you?" he asked, softly, with tears filling his eyes.

She nodded and he pulled her onto his lap and rocked with her for a minute, placing his cheek on top of her head.

"You're really okay?" he asked.

"Yeah. But that's not all." She pulled back to look at him. "It was Duncan who was with me at Shelly's. I found out tonight on the roof. Duncan said I was conscious and willing. He said we," she gulped, "made love."

"Oh God. Oh _God_." He brought a hand up and rubbed his face. "This is all my fault."

"How?" she sniffed and shifted off his lap.

"Luke, Sean, and I had liquid X at Shelly's party. Duncan had been in a fugue state since Lilly, I just wanted him to have some fun, so I dosed him. Fuck, Veronica. He never would've done it if it weren't for that."

Her voice turned hard. "Did you dose me, too?"

"No! I'd never do that to you. One dose of that and you'd be out. You're only a hundred pounds."

"What the hell did you think I was when you were doing body shots on me?"

He hopped up and paced in front of her. "I don't know! I wasn't thinking at the time. I just thought you were drunk."

"But you and your loser friends brought drugs to the party!" She yelled. "Did it not cross your mind that I was drugged? Did it seem like typical Veronica Mars behavior to be black-out drunk at an '09er party?"

"Honestly, I swear to you, I thought you were drunk." He knelt down in front of her and tucked her hair behind her ear. "But I should've known. I'm an idiot for not realizing."

"Did you dose anyone else?"

"I sold a dose to Tad. He was annoying and begging so I did it to shut him up. That's all I had."

"What about Luke and Sean? What'd they do with theirs?"

He sighed and sat next to her again on the floor, their backs resting against the sofa. "I don't know but I sure as hell intend on finding out now."

"So maybe I wasn't the only girl raped that night."

He threaded their fingers together. "But Duncan says it wasn't rape?"

"Yeah. He says I talked to him, during. That I... was into it."

"I'm so sorry, Veronica. So unbelievably sorry."

"Relax. I don't blame you, other than being a dumbass. Do me a favor, don't bring date rape drugs to parties from now on." She stopped and looked over at him. "But Logan, that's not everything. Duncan thought - and this is where things really get crazy – that I was his half-sister at the time. That's why he broke up with me. Celeste told him Jake was my dad. It isn't true, but all this time, Duncan believed that."

Logan shot up and started pacing around the room. "So your mom and Jake had an affair?"

"Apparently. I need to confirm it, but yeah, I think. They were high school sweethearts who should've stayed together. The feelings never died. Now that I know, I think it's been going on my whole life. There are bits and pieces of things I remember. We all went away for a weekend once. I can't believe I never figured it out."

"Did Celeste tell Duncan that just so he'd break up with you? Or does she really believe you're a Kane?"

"That's the million dollar question. I straightened Duncan out on the roof. My blood type disproves Jake as a possibility for my father. I assume he'll relay the information to Celeste."

He kept pacing, unable to keep still. "Christ, I need a drink. You want one?"

"Yeah. Just something little."

"Okay. Hold on." Logan stood on a chair and opened the air vent to get the key for the liquor cabinet.

Veronica gave him a little smile. "You learned that from Lilly."

"No. Lilly learned it from me."

Logan poured himself a whiskey neat and a cranberry juice with a splash of vodka for Veronica. He sat down next to her on the floor and they clinked glasses, each taking a long drink. "Well tonight sure as hell didn't turn out the way I planned. You're sure, about Duncan thinking you were his sister? I mean, that's just completely-"

"I'm sure."

"And you said… a few days ago that he asked to get back together with you? Before he knew you weren't related?"

"Yep."

"Fuck. That's so messed up."

"I know."

She cuddled into his side and he draped an arm across her shoulder. "Logan, we have to do something about your dad."

"There's nothing to do. It's in the past."

"But what if it isn't? I can't do nothing now that I know."

"Shh. I don't want to talk about my dad. Not tonight. Let's just try to relax and finish our drinks and hold each other."

"Okay."

He got choked up. "I'm so sorry you had to go through that. I'm sorry for my role in it. I'm sorry for everything."

"I'm sorry, too. About your dad. There's another thing I missed that was right in front of me. I think I need to give up detecting. I suck at it, obviously. I am extremely unobservant about those closest to me."

"Stop it. You're an amazing investigator. You found Shannon Hastings. You can do anything."

"I'm going to find Lilly's killer, no matter what."

_Fuck! It's now or never._

"Veronica, there's one last thing I have to tell you. I want you to think about me and you and what we mean to each other and everything you know about me before you react. I lied about my alibi. I came back early from Mexico to see Lilly. I saw her with you at the car wash and I just knew when I saw her that we were done for good. I left her a breakup letter in her car with a shot glass I bought her. Remember how she used to collect them? Anyway, that's what I did. Then I drove away and that was the last time I ever saw her."

Veronica was pale when he risked a peek at her. "This is big. Logan, this is huge. I'm about to prove Abel Koontz' innocence. You need a lawyer. You need to go to the sheriff ahead of this, come clean about everything before they come to you."

"Won't they think it's a little weird, me coming in to give a statement when they already have someone convicted for the crime?"

"Yeah." She blew out a breath. "You're right. I need to find her real killer before letting them know about Koontz."

He looked at her and his voice was small, "So you have no doubts about my innocence?"

"Don't be ridiculous," she said, rolling her eyes. "You're about as capable of murder as I am."

He was nearly crippled with relief. "I know. I mean I know I didn't do it, obviously. But I wasn't sure if you would believe that. I thought that maybe you would think-"

"Listen to me. You're caring. Protective. Even when you were smashing my headlights, I wasn't afraid of you. I know you'd never physically hurt me. Or Lilly. Or any woman. I may have sucky powers of observation but those truths are self-evident. I do see the real you, Logan."

"Thank you. You don't know how much it means… that you trust me."

She snuggled further into his side and wrapped her free arm around his stomach. "We'll solve the case together. You gave me an idea earlier with the air vent."

"Can you stay over? I just want to hold you tonight. All night."

"Yeah, dad's working tonight. I need to be back by 5 a.m. or so."

"Then let's go to sleep," he said, carrying her bridal style to the pool house bed. "We can deal with any residual crap tomorrow. It's been a long night."

They stripped down to their shirts and underwear and Veronica laid her head on his chest. He placed a kiss on top of her head and told her, "I need you to know something. I will never, _never_ , think of you as damaged."

"I don't think you are, either." She squeezed the hand that was entwined with hers and they drifted off to sleep in each other's arms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: We're almost to the end. One chapter left, maaaybe with an epilogue depending on how things shake out. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading, it's been an incredible experience for me to write something of this length. It's the first fic I ever started, and certainly the longest. I own all of the mistakes.


	25. Day 26

**Day 26**

Veronica didn't allow herself any more time to wallow. One: wallowing was for losers, and two: it was several rungs up Maslow's hierarchy than her current base-level needs. Not that she wouldn't rather spend her Saturday with Logan, but past-due bills and empty refrigerators did not allow for mental health days or hissy fits.

She flipped through files on her desk, looking for the Morales case. Insurance fraud. Not her favorite, but beggars can't be choosers. She formed her plan of attack for disproving the man's disability claim. She'd need a short skirt, midriff-baring top, and some heels. Play a flirty, ditzy damsel-in-distress requiring assistance from a big, strong man to lift a heavy box into her car. Piece of cake.

She opened another case file as her cell phone rang. Checking the caller id, she said, "Hi," aiming for upbeat.

"Hey." His voice was warm and low, scratchy from waking. She pictured his porcupine-esque morning hair and grinned. "So. How are you feeling about things today?"

"Oh, like I could use a year to process everything. But as far as Duncan's bombshell, I'm dealing." As the dust settled, she felt somewhat relieved knowing it had been Duncan. It wasn't as if she hadn't imagined having sex with him back in the day. Some of her worst fears about the incident were put to rest. He hadn't gossiped about her, hadn't posed her naked body and taken pictures to share with his friends or post online. And he didn't have any STD's, Veronica being his first. If it had to be anyone, she supposed he was the best option.

It was Logan's news that kept her up all night. She knew he was downplaying it, not wanting to appear weak. Her heart ached as she recalled his stories over the years about surfing accidents and illnesses and impromptu vacations that she now knew he fabricated while recuperating in bed at home, alone, waiting for his body to heal.

She'd witnessed Aaron Echolls' temper firsthand once. One time, when he'd thought Logan was by himself, he came out to the pool, screaming about something Logan had spilled on the carpet. When he saw Veronica and Lilly, he'd immediately stopped and retreated, telling Logan they would discuss it later. Logan used to make vague references to his dad's anger, but Veronica always assumed it was just yelling and grounding.

_But now that I know, Aaron Echolls is going to pay for what he's done._

"Do you need to work today or can we hang out?"

"I'm at the office now. Sorry, I need to work all day. All our time in detention has put me behind."

"Oh." His disappointment came through loud and clear. It sounded like he was brooding and that was a problem. She knew from past history that a brooding Logan was a destructive Logan. It led to mind-altering substances and an overabundance of bad decisions. She couldn't blame him, his mood was probably due to her own revelations.

"Aren't you going to the big football game tonight? It's not every day Neptune is in the state championship."

"Yeah. I guess. I was just hoping we could hang out. Maybe get a do-over on our first date."

"Our first date was amazing. We do not need a do-over."

His voice turned cold. "I generally don't like my dates to include hours of heartbreak and desperation. Not to mention fearing for my girlfriend's life."

Nope. Not today. Today, she needed a reprieve from the heavy. And he did, too, judging by his tone.

She plastered on a smile that she wanted him to _feel_ through the phone. "But then we had the whole emotional truth-telling at the end so… yay, us!"

"Aren't you feeling unexpectedly chipper this morning?" Softening, he asked, "Is it because you know what happened at Shelly's?"

She checked to make sure her dad's office door was closed. This was not a conversation she wanted him to overhear. "Closure feels good, I guess."

"I guess," he said, sullenly.

And yeah, he obviously didn't feel her smile through the phone. Time to change tacks. "Know what else feels good?"

"What?"

"I'll show you tonight, after work."

She counted three beats of silence, then, "Sounds like something I should skip the game for." Success. Goodbye emo Logan. She tried to match his tone.

"I could make it worth your while. But I don't want to keep you from the game if you want to go. We can catch up tomorrow."

"Not a chance. A night with you trumps football any day."

She smiled. "I'll call you when I'm done."

* * *

It was dark when she drove to his house. The Morales case went according to plan but she didn't have as much luck on the next one. Three hours spent camped out in the lobby of the Neptune Grand for a picture of a corporate exec with his intern led to bupkis, so she took matters into her own hands and pulled the fire alarm on the fifth floor in frustration. She got the picture as the two fled their love nest in fluffy-white bathrobes, giggling like schoolgirls as they jogged down the hall to the stairwell.

Her dad would be pissed when he found out. His informants at the Grand did not approve of rogue alarm-pulling tactics. They'd be able to identify her on the security camera, and her dad would have to bribe the security officer with pizza and beer to get him to erase the tape.

Good. Serves him right. She was not in a forgiving mood about the years he'd lied to her about her mom and Jake Kane. Lying by omission is still lying. Something they'd need to discuss at some point when she wasn't feeling so angry.

If only she had a super-hot boyfriend in an empty mansion who knew _exactly_ how to make her feel better.

* * *

Logan spent the day mentally preparing.

He'd gotten back from surfing all day with Dick and Beaver, trying to atone for suggesting then bailing on the impromptu Mexico plan. With Duncan being MIA the past year, Dick was as close to a best friend as he had and he didn't want to lose him. Correction: he couldn't afford to lose him, he didn't have any friends to spare.

Logan figured the hours of surfing would've worn him out but he was all keyed up, playing video games and nursing a few beers to pass the time until Veronica came.

Up until this moment, even though they'd done everything _but_ , sex with Veronica was more of a hazy 'someday' type of dream, details slightly out of focus, than an impending reality. Before they did the deed, he figured she would change her mind, or run off with Duncan, or become injured in some dangerous life-risking operation and any chance for romance would be thwarted. But she'd called him on her way over, safely ensconced in her car, no danger to speak of on the short drive to his house.

He knew they both wanted it. It was inevitable - the consummation of their air-crackling attraction. He was still willing to wait, but every time they were together the pull was almost unbearable. It was becoming nearly impossible to contain himself. What he wouldn't give to lose control with her, to table all the extraneous noise in their lives, all the bullshit, and just give themselves over to their baser instincts. But Veronica… he didn't know if she was ready for that. If what Duncan had told her made a difference.

He felt a certain responsibility, a heavy weight on his shoulders, to make the experience unforgettable. For all the times he'd had sex, it was disconcerting how anxious that made him. She was a virgin and that was a first for him. He'd never specifically sought out girls with experience, but those were absolutely the girls who pursued him. The innocent ones stayed away like he was a hazardous substance, effects unknown and potentially dangerous.

Well, all but one innocent one…

He'd need to let her lead. Have her set the pace. That would be the right thing to do given the circumstances.

* * *

She rang the bell and waited, taking some cleansing breaths.

_This is it. Tonight's the night. Lilly, if you have any otherworldly powers - and if anyone does, it's you - grant me the magical ability to be good at sex even though I have no idea what I'm doing. And forgive me that it's with Logan._

"Well, hello there." Logan doubled bobbed his brows in greeting. She'd forgotten she was still dressed to tempt middle-aged construction workers into lifting heavy objects. "You dressed that way for little ol' me?"

She took him in. All six feet of magnificence in a long-sleeved charcoal grey shirt and jeans, smelling like a dream. She wanted to burrow her head into his neck and do nothing but breathe him in for a full five minutes. Scratch that, an hour. An hour of nothing but smelling his neck sounded about perfect.

"Not exactly." Shit, this wasn't how she wanted it to go. "You mind if I change? Um, maybe I could shower, too?"

His brow creased in confusion. "Sure. Whatever you need. You want to use my bathroom or-"

"Yeah, your bathroom is fine," she said, breezing past him.

He led her upstairs to his room and got her some fresh towels, placing them in the bathroom. "Everything you need should be in there. If not, I'll wait here." He tilted his head to indicate his bed. "Just yell."

"Thanks."

The energy was odd between them so then she kissed him, softly at first. A kiss of reconnection after their shared secrets. A kiss full of promise and hope. He immediately pulled her up against him and she felt his entire body relax into hers, giving in to the physical connection they both craved since the drama of the previous night. His hands twined through her hair and she reached under the back of his shirt, reveling in the feel of his bare skin under her fingers, his heat seeping into her palms, working its way through her whole body. It was like breathing after being submerged. Water after a drought. For her, time ceased. The same way it did every time they were together this way.

Pulling away, he was breathless, chest heaving, the very image of lustful yearning. She longed to take his picture, to commemorate his expression, an everlasting reminder of what desire (for her) looked like on Logan Echolls. If she were feeling braver, she'd invite him into the shower. But her nerves were getting to her and she stepped inside the bathroom with a half-smile aimed his way and closed the door, welcoming privacy as she washed the day away.

After a thorough scrubbing with Logan's outrageously expensive shower gel and shampoo, she smelled like him and found herself repeatedly sniffing her hands. Musky. Cedar. It was seriously the _best_ smell. She supposed she should be thankful he didn't have a bunch of women's products in his bathroom. Her fragile ego did not need any reminders of other women in his shower, especially tonight. She pulled out her change of clothes and, _goddammit_ , only found an old UCSD sweatshirt and a pair of yoga pants.

_I'm terrible at this whole seductress thing. I smell like a man and look like an androgynous college student pulling an all-nighter. Definitely not the girly girls Logan prefers. I am not going out there in this outfit. Maybe we should just forget it. We haven't actually said the words, maybe I just assumed he wanted to…_

* * *

She emerged in a cloud of steam, a vision of exquisiteness wrapped in white Egyptian cotton. Crap. Why did he have bath sheets instead of towels? Those six extra inches were long enough to cover her legs to mid-calf. Damn his mother and her insistence on having the best.

If Veronica didn't want to have sex, she should've put on some clothes in the bathroom. But that outfit she was wearing before? Yeah, no, that wouldn't have been an effective turn-off either. He mentally cataloged the many ways she'd teased him in outrageously sexy outfits over the last month. Hot secretary, Lara Croft, red bikini, pep squad uniform, Princess Leia, and tonight's outfit, reminiscent of a naughty schoolgirl. But tops on his list was this – Veronica, clean and wet, wrapped in a towel standing in the middle of his bedroom and looking at him like _that_.

His erection was comical. He didn't even try to hide it, it would be impossible. He sat still on the bed, taking small, shallow breaths, watching the droplets of water from her hair trail down her neck, across her shoulders, pooling against the towel at the top of her chest. Some of them dropping between her breasts. He wanted to lick each one from bottom to top.

_Slow down. Let her decide what she wants. Do not jump her bones._

"Shower okay?" he asked, leaning back on his elbows.

"Yeah, I didn't even have to wait ten minutes for hot water."

That was just unacceptable. She deserved instantly-hot shower water, at a bare minimum. He was thinking about ways he could funnel money to her undetected. His father had a manager, maybe he could speak to him. Logan didn't have much money of his own but he definitely had enough to cover a plumber's visit to the Mars' apartment. Tell the plumber to say he was hired by the apartment manager. He'd make a note to do it on Monday.

He obviously looked troubled because she said, "Hey, it's okay." Like _she_ should be making _him_ feel better about her shitty existence.

"I just want your life to be better. In so many ways."

She crossed over to him, clutching the top of the towel. Close, but not enough to touch. "Um, right now, my life's looking pretty good."

He gave her a one-sided grin. "Is it?"

She eyed him appreciatively, there was no mistaking her look, the flash of pearly white teeth biting on her bottom lip.

"Ah, do you... want to watch a movie?"

_UGGGH. Why the hell did I just say that?_

He was very nearly certain she did _not_ come over to watch a movie. His stupid fucking nerves needed to go away. Immediately. Because she was shutting down, her face fell, and he just blew it.

_THIS IS NOT YOU. YOU ARE NOT THIS FUMBLING, TENTATIVE DOUCHE. And what kind of idiot expects a virgin to set the pace?_

"Wait," he said with a shake of his head, "we're both forgetting."

"Forgetting what?"

He practically leaped off the bed and in one smooth motion, lifted her by her thighs, spun a full circle, and landed back on the bed with her atop him, straddling. The heat was radiating in waves between them. Years of sexual tension that he intended to resolve. Right freaking now. He ran his index finger down the side of her face, catching a drop of water and brought it to his mouth, tasting. She tasted like _them._ Like her and him mixed together, and he made an involuntary groan at the revelation.

He caught another drop from her shoulder and placed his finger to her lips. When her tongue darted out and she sucked on his finger, he was electrified. Every hair, every nerve. "How it is between us," he said, impossibly close, sharing her air. She held his gaze as she released the towel, it gathered around her hips, and then her hands were reaching for the back of his shirt, eagerly pulling. _So this is how it's going to be._ "Consuming," he breathed into her ear, placing a kiss on the side of her neck. "Passionate," he said into the other ear, nipping on the lobe. He whispered the rest of his thoughts for her between kisses – words like _effortless_ and _instinctual_ and _destined._

* * *

She'd always imagined a magical fairy-tale Seventeen magazine kind of first time, complete with flowers and candles. The stuff of girlhood dreams. But she was beyond that now. Now, here, with him, was everything she needed. And she knew without asking that he felt the same. She felt it with every look and kiss and touch. So here they were, face-to-face. No costumes to hide behind, no wigs or props or alternate personas. Just the two of them, offering each other their scarred hearts, both silently hopeful the other would recognize the fragility of the gift.

He asked her for the second time if she was sure. "Yes," she said, again. She smiled at him and gave a barely perceptible nod and closed the distance between their lips. Her mind flooded with images like a mental photo album of the years they'd spent leading up to this moment.

Logan at twelve, tall and gangly with impossibly chubby cheeks. She'd called him "baby face" for a year. He'd responded by calling her "shorty." Teasing, always, to mask the attraction. They'd called a truce on nicknames at thirteen, her insistence that "shorty" being slang for kid was not cool. He'd whispered that it also meant an attractive female and she'd blushed, one of many times he'd complimented her and she'd responded physically. They'd spent years flirting with their minds, their words. It was such a relief to finally use her body. To show, instead of tell, how she really felt. And who knew it'd be so much easier? Her body didn't get hung up on what it should or shouldn't be doing. It knew. _Effortless._

He pulled back. "I could take us to Big Sur again, book the same place. I want to make it perfect for you."

"This _is_ perfect for me. You're all I need."

He must've believed her because he didn't stop after that. He watched her the whole time he made her body fall apart, again and again, with a look of wonder on his face. When he finally entered her, slowly, carefully, she wanted to cry to the heavens with relief. There was no pain, ( _thanks, Duncan?_ ), only pleasure. Unimaginable, life-altering pleasure.

* * *

She was spread out across his chest, sweaty cheek practically suctioned to his heart, one hand on his stomach and one loosely holding his on the pillow above her. The sound of his heartbeat was steady in her ear and with his every inhale, her head rose. The rhythmic rise and fall of his breathing lulled her to doze. She closed her eyes and half-heard him ask, "Are you okay?"

She huffed a soundless laugh and tilted to her head to look up at him. "'Okay' doesn't begin to cover it."

He smiled the way he did when he was both genuinely pleased and shy. "So no regrets?"

"Not a one."

His hand was warm on her back, fingers moving in a slightly circular route, leaving goosebumps in their wake. "Dare I ask then what's on your mind?"

She put her head back on his chest, breaking eye contact, and murmured, "Nothing."

"Veronica. I can feel the wheels turning. Just spill it."

"Just that I've been missing out…"

"And?"

She turned her head to look up at him. "I don't know how people even go to work or school when they could be doing _that_ all day."

He laughed, full-throated and delighted, and kissed her forehead. "While I agree with the sentiment, you'll find that you do eventually need to get out of bed for things."

She nodded and shifted the covers off and he immediately pulled her back into his side. "I said _eventually_ , not now. I'm gonna do my best to keep you here as long as possible. I plan on taking care of your every need."

He rubbed her back for a while and she spoke into his ribs, "What are you thinking?"

He rolled to his side so her back was pressed into his chest and kissed the back of her neck, nuzzling. Speaking softly into her ear, he said, "Just that the girl I've had a crush on for as long as I can remember is naked in my bed."

"She must be awesome."

"Mm hmm. She's fearless and smart. Indescribably beautiful. And a lot of people are afraid of her which is, frankly, a huge turn-on."

She tensed and put her hand on top of his which was wound around her belly. "Are you afraid of her?"

"No but I'm afraid _for_ her, sometimes. She gets herself into some dangerous situations and doesn't always prioritize safety. And I'm afraid for me, too."

"Why?"

"That someday she'll realize she's too good for me and I'll be crushed."

"Logan-"

"Shh. So I was saying, I've liked her for a long time. When we were younger, she was innocent and trusting. But even under her Strawberry Shortcake pink cardigans, there was a spark between us. Some sort of deeper-level connection, we just _got_ each other. But I had to try to pretend not to notice and I'm not sure she even realized it."

She snorted. "If you got her naked in your bed, she must've realized it at some point."

"Ah, but at what point? That's the question."

"I-"

"Wait," he said into her ear, "you're interrupting my story. So, I had to act like a platonic friend since she was dating my best friend.

"I think you're forgetting that you were dat-"

"MY story. As I was saying, she was dating my best friend and I had to watch their sweet young kisses, the rosy-cheeked blush of first love, and pretend it didn't bother me. Then some really bad things happened and she wasn't innocent or trusting anymore. And the spark grew. Because I've never been exactly innocent, myself. And I _liked_ that she didn't trust me. I practically dared her not to. I taunted and teased and tormented to test her limits."

"Why did you do that?"

"Cause I'm an asshole. And I guess I wanted to see how strong she was."

"And?"

"And she fought back, hard, like I figured she would. Occasionally, she gave worse than she got, which was insanely hot. It got to a point where she was all I thought about and eventually, I stopped testing her limits and just wanted her to notice me as a viable romantic option. So I did the equivalent of pulling her pigtails."

"Marshmallows in her car?"

"Exactly. After that, I would catch her looking at me sometimes like she wanted to see what was under my clothes. Not that I can blame her, I look spectacular naked."

"Jackass," she elbowed him in the ribs.

He laughed. "So I pulled those pigtails harder. Then by some stroke of luck we were forced to spend time together every day in close quarters, just the two of us. And I found her frequently looking at me like she wanted to see what was under my clothes."

"You're such a romantic," she said with a faux-sigh.

"I'm getting to that part, missy, if you'd just listen. SO, she was giving me the lusty eyes and didn't even realize it so I decided to kiss her. The most amazing, mind-blowing kiss of my life. It involved barely-there badass costumes, fake weaponry, and acres of naked skin to taste. So. Fucking. Hot." He punctuated each word with a kiss to her neck. "Then she freaked and dumped me and broke my heart. BUT, soon thereafter, she got jealous that some gymnast wanted me. So she made me read X-rated emails in her bedroom while acting indifferent to my raging hard-on and followed that up by hopping onto my lap at the beach and making out with me for a glorious hour."

She laughed at his memory of events. "Is that really how you think we got together? The story of us?"

"Shush. Then one day we were together in the school garden and I was watching her in the sun, all angelic-looking, radiating light per usual, while I pulled petals off daisies, and I realized that I love her." He pushed on her hip so she fell back to the mattress and he leaned over her. "You don't have to say it back. That's not why I said it. It's just, you've basically turned my life around so you should know how I feel about you. I'm in love with you, Veronica." His eyes were bottomless. She could jump in and swim around in them.

She longed to be fearless and tell him how she felt. But her mouth couldn't form the words. Not yet, but she promised herself she would tell him someday. Because he deserved to hear them and because they were true. She sensed in the deepest, most secret part of her they would always be true. But for now she said, simply, "Show me."

He ducked his head and kissed her. Achingly tender and passionate, both. How it always was with them.

She rolled to her stomach and he kissed the fading tattoo between her shoulder blades. His fingers traced over her back. "The daisy's still here," he said into her skin, kissing it. Each press of his lips against her skin was like a brand. _Mine_.

And she wanted him to brand him, too. She wanted him to know he belonged to her, belonged with her, _Mine_. So she spent all night trying to show him with her body what she couldn't with her words.

She wasn't sure if he received the message.

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Sorry for the delay in posting. I was going to make the last chapter one long one but it was too much for one chapter so I split it up. So there's still one more chapter to go. Thank you, thank you for reading!


End file.
